Fifty Shades Complete Part 2
by newgirl3366
Summary: Keeping with the characters as E.L. James wrote them. This story begins in November 2012 with Teddy approaching 6 months of age. This is part 2 to my first story Fifty Shades Complete which is posted on this site. Fifty Shades complete started with Teddy at 6wks of age and ended when he was approaching 3 months of age.
1. Chapter 1

**_Fifty Shades Complete Part 2_**

**_November 2012_**

_*I do not own these characters. All rights go to E.L. James*_

**_Prologue_**

_ The sounds of giggling laughter followed by a shrill squeal echoes down the hall from the great room and into my study. My fingers are flying furiously over the keys typing out my last email correspondence with Andrea for the day. A grin spreads across my face when I can finally hit 'send' and close my laptop. I reach down to the bottom drawer of my desk and file away a few papers before standing and rolling my chair forward so that it is flush with my desk. My Ana and Teddy are busy playing and I am eager to join them. _

_Their laughter grows louder with each step I take, moving me closer to them, the loves of my life. With the hallway at my back they come into view. Ana is on the floor lying on her stomach and in front of her in the same position is our son. I watch her cover her face with both of her hands, and speak to Ted in a sing-song voice, "Where is Mommy's Teddy? There he is! Peek-a-boo Teddy! Mommy sees you!" Our son giggles uncontrollably enjoying their game. With the same enthusiasm and animation in her voice she repeats their game numerous times, each time receiving the same response from her one and only captive audience. _

_I am able to steal a few more moments of prurience before my presence is noticed by her two toothed spectator. My sons gray eyes lock on me and he begins babbling causing his mommy to turn her head to see what has grabbed his attention. A pretty smile graces her angelic face. "Is that Dada Teddy? Do you see Dada?" Ted mimics her simple two syllable word. The reasonable part of me knows he is only mimicking the sound she is making with her words but I cannot help to hope that my son is saying 'dada' because he knows that I am his father. _

_Unable to withstand another moment with even this small of an amount of space between us I quickly cross to where they are lying on the floor and assume the same position as they are in. "I know he's only saying 'dada' because it is easy for babies to say…"_

_"He knows you're his Dada, don't you Teddy?" _

_Ana discontinues my sentence as well as my doubt. Our son looks at me and continues to babble interjecting a few more 'dadas' in his line of jabber. _

_"Play peekaboo with us Daddy." _

_She encourages me and I cannot resist joining in their game. Covering my face with my hands I lilt the same words to Ted as Ana did. "Where is Daddy's Teddy? There he is! Peek-a-boo Teddy! Daddy sees you!" His tiny body erupts into a fit of giggles followed by chatter urging me to engage in the game with him again and again. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

A solitary sunshine yellowinfant bootie rests in the bottom of the dark woven basket from under Ted's bassinet. In only a few weeks he will be six months old and he has now out grown the bassinet his grandma gave me before he was born. I lift the bootie with my hand, touching it lovingly with my fingers, absorbing its delicate softness. It wasn't so long ago when this fabric fit around his baby foot, keeping his little toes warm. Releasing a shaky sight I tuck it away in the box beside me with the rest of his newborn items to be put away for another day perhaps.

"Mrs. Grey, Teddy's awake."

I hear Gail's voice behind me and stand with the box in my arms. "I'll go to him Gail."

"Would you like for me to take those for you?" She asks indicating with her eyes in the direction of the box I am holding in my arms. I look down at the box and nod. Walking over to her I place it in her hands.

"It's hard to pack away his tiniest things isn't it?"

"It is."

Her eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles. "I'm sure you'll use them again for many other babies."

I try to return her smile. Of course I want other babies but many of these are so special to me because they are Ted's. He is my first baby. I want to keep so many of these items just his but it seems silly to hold onto such a large collection of infant clothes and not use them again. I brush away my thoughts for the time being. "Yes, I'll go get Ted now." Gail takes the box to be stored with the few others I have packed away while I go to get Teddy who is up from his nap.

"You slept for a long time little man." Teddy jibbers and jabbers at me, his eyes shining with happiness as I lift him from his crib. He is the cheeriest baby in the world, well in my world at least. There is only a short amount of daylight left as the sun is setting earlier with each passing day, drawing the winter season closer. Soon we will be celebrating our first holiday season on the sound as well as Teddy's first Christmas. Trimming a tall tree in the great room has been a dream of mine from the moment I first set foot in our house. Thanksgiving is first though. It will bring Mom and Bob closer. They will be in Las Vegas in a matter of days and Mom could not be happier. She is already planning their trip here for the holiday; she cannot wait to hold her grandson again. I snap pictures of him constantly with my phone but I know they are a poor substitute for actually having him in her arms.

I hear Christian's voice floating up from downstairs as I finish zipping Ted's navy fleece footie up and pepper his face with kisses as I scoop him up and tickle his tummy eliciting a giggle from him. "Let's go see Daddy."

At the top step I halt my movement, listening intently to make out the conversation which is taking place between Christian and Taylor.

"Arrange for the plane to be prepared for take off by eight in the morning on Tuesday the sixth. We will be landing at Detroit Metro and I'll need a car to be ready for us."

Taylor responds and I strain to hear his words but cannot quite make them out before Christian continues.

"You and Sawyer will be accompanying us…yes an SUV. Sawyer is to stay with Mrs. Grey at all times…thank you." The exchange is broken by Taylor's responses which I still cannot grasp.

The clacking of dress shoes against the floor indicates that Taylor has left the room, much like my stomach which I am sure can be found on the bottom floor of the house somewhere. _Detroit? We are going to Detroit? Why?_ My subconscious has a worried expression on her face; it very much matches my own. I try to steady my breathing knowing I must be calm when I face Christian. The stress in his voice is evident, _my poor fifty_, I can only imagine the affect this trip will have on him.

I feel Ted's hand patting my breast as he attempts to bring my attention back to him. "Yes baby, I know. Let's go see Daddy." I hoist him up higher on my hip before descending the staircase.

Christian is approaching the first step at the bottom when his apprehensive gaze sweeps up to meet mine. I observe the sudden slump in his shoulders. He knows that I have overheard the exchange with Taylor. I choose to say nothing but to keep moving towards him as he stands stock still waiting for me. Finally fixed in front of him I worry my bottom lip between my teeth, wordlessly urging him to say something. His eyes are somber though and continue to search mine.

"I need you to go with me Ana."

I reach up to brush back his tousled copper locks which have fallen across his forehead, most likely from him running his hands through his hair nonstop. "I know." My voice squeaks out two short words.

"I have to go for work. We'll be there for four days. I cannot go without you, I can't face this alone. I never wanted to go back but Ros has had a family emergency, leaving the trip to me." His words are spilling out at a ceaseless speed. He doesn't have to convince me that he needs me to be there or why. I already know why and I knew I would be going with him before he even asked me. Continuing to stroke his hair I allow him to finish speaking his thoughts, comforting him with my touch until he finishes and leans his face into my hand. "It will be okay Christian, I'm here, and it will be okay."

Teddy reaches his arms out to his Daddy, babbling to him, causing us both to grin. I willingly oblige my little man's request by passing him to his father. "Hi," Christian whispers to his son and hugs him while our baby continues to smile, happy to be in his daddy's arms.

**Christian is quietly contemplative** for the rest of the evening. He keeps Teddy and I close to him even though he is busy working, ironing out the details of our impending trip. Three days, I have three days to prepare him in any way that I can for a business trip which will bring him face to face with the place that is the reality of the first four years of his life. Four years full of hellish nightmares and suffering. The crackling fire spitting and popping in the fireplace helps to warm my body, offering some solace from the chill in the air. Despite the warmth my body shudders involuntarily due to the thoughts playing in my mind. Attempting to keep them at bay I shift my eyes from the flames to my son who is contentedly nursing at my breast. His fingers pat my skin rhythmically and I touch them with my own.

"Ana," Christian sets the papers and pen he has been holding down on the coffee table in front of the sofa. He has been staring at those same papers for almost an hour and I have yet to figure out what they are about.

"Hmmmm…" I keep my eyes trained on Ted.

"Baby, I'm sorry I've not been much company tonight. I'm sorry that I've worried you." Its then that I realize I have been rocking my body to and fro in a constant motion, most likely driven by nerves. I halt my hypnotic motion and look up into his eyes. I've probably worn a trench into the loveseat.

"What are those papers you've been staring a hole into?"

He glances back to the stack on the table and sighs. "Just the contract Ros gave me to look over before the business conference on Wednesday. She was handling the negotiations and keeping me informed of new developments, now that she is unable to go I need to educate myself on all aspects of the possible merger with this relatively small company we are attempting to purchase."

He's not ready to talk about the personal facets of this trip, he's avoiding them because they bring too much pain and anguish with them. We can't avoid them though because they will be front and center, right in his face when we land at Detroit Metro Airport. At that moment a thought occurs to me…there are so many missing pieces to the puzzle…at least for me there are. What was Christian's last name before he was adopted by the Grey's? That miniscule bit of information could shed so much light on his past. Does he know what his last name? Did he ever know? Does he not want to think about it or know it? _Don't push him,_ my subconscious warns, pointing her finger at me. He may not ever want to know his past and I have to accept it if that is his choice. This is his past, not mine.

"I have Taylor and Sawyer accompanying us to Detroit. Taylor will mostly be helping me but Sawyer will be with you at all times when I am not. Taylor is currently making arrangements for our accommodations and will have that information for me in the morning…Ana I want you to stay at the hotel when I am not with you. Please promise me that you and Ted will stay at the hotel."

"You want to take Ted with us?"

"Yes, why not?"

"Nothing, I just didn't know if you would want to have him stay with your parents."

"He is old enough to travel Ana and I want our son with us." He stands and crosses the family room to sit beside Ted and I, tucking one leg underneath him. The flickering light from the fire blisters the reddish copper in his hair, accentuating the brilliant color. He wraps one arm around my back and draws Ted and I into his lap. Teddy grunts in frustration and jerks his arm out to show his protest as his feeding is momentarily jostled. With his other arm he cradles Ted, placing it beside mine, so that we are both holding him against me. In the comforting of his parents embrace he is soothed and easily continues his suckling.

"I want him with us too Christian…Will you tell Grace and Carrick that we are going to Detroit?" The name of the city almost leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I feel his body tense slightly and wait for his answer.

"I will. Mom asked us over for lunch tomorrow. Do you want to go?"

"Of course I do. Teddy can show everyone how he learned to rollover this week. He can also show them his favorite new game, peek-a-boo."

Christian chuckles and relief courses through me, I love that sound. His muscles also relax, his body molding to mine. I feel his lips press into my hair at the top of my head and I allow myself to meld into him as well.

"Tell me about your day Mommy. What did you and Teddy do all day?"

With that our stressful conversation is over, for now. I know it will return soon enough but for this moment at least we can forget about it and focus on ourselves and our son.


	3. Chapter 3

**Maintaining his nurturing tone** from the night before of keeping both Ted and I close to him, I awake to find our son sleeping peacefully between us in our bed. Christian is lying on his side watching both of us intently when I open my eyes to greet the new day.

"Good morning," I smile sleepily at him.

"Good morning my beautiful wife," he returns my smile.

"How long have you been up?"

"Awhile, I was just watching you two sleep. He looks more like you ever day you know, especially when he sleeps."

Christian pulls the blankets up a little, tucking them snuggly around Ted. There is a chill in the air around us, our bed is warm and cozy though. Inviting me to stay snuggled under the covers with my two boys just a little longer. We lay together quietly both introspective on our own thoughts which are more than likely along the lines of the same. Both musing about Detroit and what that trip will mean for Christian. There are so many things I want to ask him but the biggest one weighs heavily on my mind. I'm not sure if there will ever be a right time to voice my concerns so I decide to go for broke and say them outright, say them now. I reach for Christian's hand which is lying on Ted's tummy and cover it gently with mine before looking deep into his eyes, choosing my words carefully.

"Christian, I know a few months ago we talked about going to your birthmother's grave…" My tone is tentatively cautious.

I watch him close his eyes in a pained expression and subtly shake his head. "Don't Ana," he warns, "I know you want me to but I just can't."

The aggrieved illustration on his face urges me to enfold him in my arms, to protect him from the horrific memories which plague him but I can't. They are in his mind, they are intangible and I cannot grasp them away from him. I continue to hold my hand on top of his steadily.

"Put her to rest for yourself Christian. The nightmares she still puts your through will never cease until you let her go. Those days are gone, allow yourself to see that. Otherwise you'll just keep sweeping those awful memories to the back of your mind, only to resurface eventually." Tiny tears begin to seep from the corners of his still closed eyes. "Is it possible for you to talk to John before we leave?"

He reopens his gray eyes, welled with sadness. "When I found out yesterday I would have to go for Ros I went there before coming home. I hope you don't mind Ana, I just…I had to talk to him."

"And…" I urge him to continue on.

"He told me not to go alone…"

"You're not going alone, I'm here Christian. Did he say anything else?"

"He suggested visiting her grave as well. I just don't know if I can do it Ana. I don't even remember what her last name was. How would I even find her? I don't want to know what her last name was because that was my last name as well and it is nothing of who I am now."

"You are not her, you are right. It is not who you are now. You are Christian Grey, my husband, the man I love, the father of our son Theodore Raymond Grey. You are a beautiful, selfless, devoted and loving man, my man."

Gingerly so as not to wake the sleeping baby between us he moves closer to me before closing his mouth over mine. I lift my hand from Ted's tummy and cradle his cheek, feeling the dampness on his skin. Rubbing my thumb over his cheek I wipe away his tears. "You don't have to make any decisions right now. Just don't shut out the idea, okay?"

"Okay," he whispers against my lips, nodding his head slightly before opening his eyes to meet mine.

"We can talk to your mom today." I offer and he nods once more before pressing another mildly ardent kiss to my lips. Our kiss is broken by the yawn and sighs of our son sleeping between us. We both shift our gazes down to him and his drowsy gray eyes look up at us. He curls and uncurls his fingers from the fists he had formed them in, positioned on either side of his head while he slept. He always sleeps in that same sweet baby position. His mouth forms another _o _indicating another yawn before he grumbles, telling me he is ready to be changed and fed.

"I'll go get a diaper Mommy." Christian's smile finally returns. He quickly gets up and retreats to the nursery to gather Ted's necessities.

Once his daddy has changed his diaper and refastened his footie pajamas I sit up and quickly slip Christian's t-shirt over my head before lying back down. Teddy places his soft hands on one of my breast before curling his legs up so that his feet are pressed against my stomach. This seems to be his preferred nursing position now; he often places his body just so before eating. Happily cradling himself against me and around my breast he begins to suckle. I giggle watching him, so meticulous. He has to have everything just so before he can eat.

"I think he's finally all set." Christian says, laughing along with me. Ted's personality is definitely beginning to shine through.

"Yes, Mr. Particular just like his Daddy. He insists that he has everything exactly the way he wants it."

"God I love him." He leans down, kissing Ted's fine copper wisps of baby hair before kissing my lips. Teddy breaks away from my breast momentarily to giggle and grin at his daddy. "Are you having your breakfast son?" Two pairs of breathtaking gray eyes shine at one another and Ted voices his elation with a squeal. Christian touches an index finger to Ted's mouth, sweeping it over to my nipple and Ted follows him, latching on again. "You eat your breakfast Teddy while I go fix something for Mommy and I to have. Then we are going to see Grandma and Grandpa today."

He switches his gaze up to me, "What would you like to eat for breakfast Mommy?"

"Hmmmm…eggs and toast?"

"That just happens to be my specialty, coming right up."

"Thank you Daddy." He flashes me his brilliant smile before climbing out of bed once more and leaving to go down to the kitchen.

**Even with the chill** in the air from autumns first frost which blanketed our meadow last night the day is beautiful. A perfect azure sky dotted with a few white clouds helps the sun to illuminate the last few fall leaves clinging to the trees. The nippy north wind whips my hair around my face and I nestle Ted closer to me in his blanket turning my back against the wind as I stand on the porch while Christian brings the SUV around to collect us.

"Here baby let me put Ted in while you get it." He says opening his door and darting around to fetch Ted from my arms. Collecting up my few things I open the passenger side door and slide in. Christian finishes buckling Ted in his seat and opens the driver's side door, climbing in himself.

"Where have Gail and Taylor gone this weekend?" I ask noting their absence. I hadn't seen them around all morning and while it's common for them not to be in the big house on a weekend I usually see them by this time of day.

"They've gone away for the weekend. Taylor said they were flying down to Lake Tahoe I believe." Christian glances over at me before turning out of our driveway.

"Oh, that should be a nice trip for them. Did they take Sophie with them?"

"No, just the two of them." He grins at me, a knowing grin.

"Christian what are you not telling me?"

"Nothing…"

I pinch his side playfully, "tell me." His elusive playful attitude is a joy to experience after the melancholy the early morning brought with it.

"Ouch! Okay…okay…he didn't tell me straight out but I think they may be running off to get married this weekend."

"Really? Why would they not stay here and have a wedding?"

"This is a second marriage for both of them Ana. Perhaps they just wanted to do something private, just the two of them."

Mulling it over in my mind it does make sense that they would want to just go off be married. Taylor is a very private person as is Gail. The thought of them finally being married makes me smile. I have grown to love them both and want only the happiest of things for them.

"Do you think they'll want to find their own home in to live in once they are married?"

"Perhaps…they have the guest house and I've offered it to Jason for he and Gail. Once they talk it over we'll know."

Looking out the window at the passing houses decorated for the season with pumpkins, scarecrows and bales of hay I sigh. I hope they decide to stay with us. I've grown so accustomed to having Gail with me. I turn the music on and sit back in my seat, Ted has already fallen fast asleep in the back. Car rides always lull him right off to dreamland. Soon we are arriving at the Grey's home. The cars in the driveway tell me that Kate and Elliot are here too, as well as Ethan and Mia. A day with his family might be just the remedy for Christian, to reassure him that no matter what happens in Detroit he has his family.


	4. Chapter 4

**"Look at him go!" **Grace exclaims elatedly. She is sitting on the floor with Teddy in the great room. Shaking his rattle of colorful rings in front of his face she entices him to grab it before setting it on the floor beside him. Once again he rolls of to reach it and holds himself up right with his arms while he is on his tummy. He giggles and coos, all too happy to show off his fancy new moves for his group of spectators. The little show off that he is. Grace picks him up and places him in a sitting position in front of her. He props himself up with his hands before letting go with one hand to grasp another toy from the floor in front of him, bringing it to his mouth of course. Everything goes towards his mouth.

"And Teddy covers yet another toy in slobber." Christian grins at his son reaching for the burp cloth next to him and wiping the stream of drool from Ted's mouth. He is sitting in front of Ted, facing his mother. Grace smiles endearingly as always at her son's interaction with his own child.

"That's how you learn isn't it Ted? Tell Daddy that you feel with your mouth." We all laugh as Teddy gurgles and jabbers insistently as if he is agreeing with his grandma.

"He is definitely sassy like his mother." Kate interjects.

"Or like his Auntie Kate." I answer her back with a gentle ribbing.

I watch as Christian and his brother exchange glances before nodding at each other in, "definitely from his Auntie Kate," they both say in unison.

Kate jabs Elliot in the side teasingly and he mocks hurt by grabbing his side and voicing pain from his phony injury. "Wuss," Kate tells him before leaning in to kiss his lips.

Gretchen appears from the dining room announcing that lunch is ready. Carrick helps Grace stand from the floor. "Grandma is getting old for sitting on the floor." She laughs rubbing her back. "Not at all," Carrick admonishes and kisses her cheek. The love between Christian's parents always amazes me. I secretly wish I had been able to see that kind of affection from my parental figures when I was growing up.

Christian has scooped Ted into his arms continues to hold our babbling boy as we all make our way into the dining room. Of course his Grandma has made sure to purchase a highchair for her one and only grandson. It is positioned between Christian and I's place settings. He carefully sits Ted in the chair and straps him in securely before taking his seat. Having nursed about an hour before, once we arrived, I am sure Teddy is not hungry but has loved exploring new foods recently. Even though most of it does end up on him instead of in his mouth.

Gretchen serves a standing rib roast, mashed potatoes and roasted root vegetables. We all pass around the serving dishes until everyone has plenty on their plates. Christian serves Ted and I before placing anything on his plate. Teddy is instantly drawn to the bright orange carrot his daddy has placed on his tray.

"Here son, let Mommy mash it up for you first." I take my fork and mash his carrot in with the single potato Christian has placed on the tray for him as well. He babbles continuously until I take a bit of the mashed up vegetables on my spoon and offer it to him. His little mouth opens immediately taking in the food. He makes what almost sounds like an_ mmmmmm _sound as he smacks his lips together before placing a tentative finger in the white and orange paste and putting it in his mouth on his own.

"He'll be a chef like Mia," Elliot announces, "The only other baby I have ever seen get so excited over food before him was her."

Mia blushes and Ethan looks at her endearingly.

"Yes, our little Mia used to love to wear whatever she was eating." Grace says affectionately. Mia takes it all in stride though, she loves her parents endlessly and they obviously dote over their baby girl.

Teddy continues to munch on his carrot and potato contentedly, splaying his fingers in front of his face every so often to examine the food as he explores it. He can't help but be the center of everyone's attention. His little antics become more and more animated with each passing day.

After everyone is finished eating Christian fetches a towel from the kitchen and meticulously cleans our son's fingers and face before lifting him from his chair. Grace offers to take him upstairs for a change and a fresh set of clothes. After Gretchen clears the dinner plates coffee and dessert are served which everyone with the exception of Christian accepts. I'm not sure if his growing tension is noticeable to anyone else but I can sense it growing with each minute. He is searching for the right time to say something to his parents about our impending trip and I know his nerves are getting the better of him. Watching him sip his coffee I place my hand on his thigh under the table and give him a gentle reassuring squeeze. Without looking at me he subtly leans into me and nuzzles my ear, kissing the skin just below my lobe. I catch Kate eyeing us suspiciously, she knows something is up. She raises and eyebrow at me but says nothing. Internally I breathe a sigh of relief. Now how to get Christian and I alone with his parents so he can talk with them privately.

As we are finishing our desserts Grace comes back in the room minus one Teddy Grey.

"He yawned the entire time I changed him. A few minutes of rocking him in my arms and he was out like a little light. I've put him down in the playpen in my bedroom. I hope you don't mind Ana." She says sitting down beside her husband.

"Not at all Grace, it was getting to be his afternoon naptime and he usually tuckers right out after eating."

"Well that was some amazing apple pie, Mom." Elliot says standing to kiss his mother on the cheek. "Time for me to rest it off and watch the football game."

"I'm right behind you," Ethan chimes in standing and pulling Mia's chair out for her. "The Huskies are at UCLA today and I'm not planning on missing one second of that game."

"I suppose we could suffer through with them until at least halftime." Kate tells Mia standing with the others. "Ana, Christian, are you coming?" She asks in my direction.

"We'll be along soon Kate." I smile at her and she shrugs taking Elliot's hand in hers. They all depart for the great room to enjoy the game.

Gretchen serves Grace with her piece of pie and refills everyone's coffee as well as bringing me a fresh cup of tea. She no longer gives Christian anything first. I think the whole wife and a baby thing have deterred her. Not so much the wife thing but once Teddy was born she laid off of her simpering completely. Idly I wonder if Carrick and Grace had anything to do with her sudden change in behavior, if they did they would never tell us. I can't help but secretly hope that they put her in her place. Her blatant crush on my husband got rather annoying quickly.

With everyone gone to watch the game except myself, Christian, Grace and Carrick an uncomfortable silence falls over the room. Christian is brooding and by the looks Grace keeps flashing in my direction she senses that something is amiss. Cutting a bite of off her slice of pie with her fork she tries for a bit of casual conversation.

"Are you still working primarily from home Ana?"

I give her a tight smile and continue to pat Christian's leg under the table, silently pleading with him to talk to his parents. "Yes, I try to go into the office once or twice a week though. I'd like to start back to three full days a week after the New Year but haven't set anything in stone yet. Most of the time I can take Ted in to the office with me since I have only been working a few hours a day, Gail helps me when I need her to though."

"It's wonderful that you are able to bring him to work with you." She says taking another bite of her dessert, but still watching Christian carefully.

"Most days I don't think I could get through the doors without him, Claire and Hannah are completely smitten with him."

She smiles and turns her attention to Christian. I do notice the subtle glance of concern which she and Carrick exchange. "And how is work going for your Christian?"

His body stiffens and he finally takes his hands down from where he has had them fisted in front of his mouth. "Fine."

I place both of my hands over his which are now resting on the dining room table. His eyes find mine and wordlessly I implore him to continue talking to his mother.

"I have a business trip this coming week…" He begins. Grace sets her fork on the side of her plate, giving her youngest son her full undivided attention. "Ros had planned to attend it, she has been handling this project but due to unforeseen circumstances I have to go in her stead. Ana and Ted are going with me…" I watch him swallow hard before continuing. "It's in Detroit. I'm going to Detroit."

Grace flashes Carrick a look of alarm, which Carrick mirrors. "How do you feel about that Christian?" She asks him with as much as she can put into her voice. I can hear the hint of trepidation just below the surface though.

He just shakes his head. I watch her wring her napkin between her hands before speaking again. "How can we help you son?"

From beside him I can see his eyes turning glassy, shimmering with unshed tears. I put one arm around him and he turns his head so that I am no longer looking at his profile. He looks at me straight on. For a moment it's as if we are the only two in the room. Without another thought I reach up to wipe the tears from his eyes and kiss him tenderly on his lips. "Go on Christian, tell them anything you want. I'm here." I tell him so quietly that I am not sure anyone else could hear me.

He kisses me chastely once more before turning his attention back to his parents. "I've talked with Flynn. He suggested that I go to her grave."

Grace takes in a deep breath and Carrick steady's her by taking her hand in his. "How do you feel about that son?" He asks Christian pointedly.

"I'm not sure Dad. I'm not even sure how I would find it."

I watch the Grey's exchange glances once more; Grace appears to nod, granting Carrick some kind of permission. "We have the information son, if you want it. We can share it with you and then you can make the decision on your own as to what you want to do with it. Just know that your mother and I are behind you no matter what choice you make."

"Okay." Is the only word Christian can get out.

Carrick stands and disappears for a few minutes before returning with a worn manila envelope. Walking over to where we are seated he places it in his son's hands, urging him to open it, before taking his seat beside his wife once more. Carefully Christian flips up the silver tab before lifting the aged yellow flap. With a gentle tap the contents spill out onto the table. A pink and blue colored birth certificate from the state of Michigan is the first thing to catch my eye. Surely Christian has seen his birth certificate before, if so then why does he not know what his birthmother's last name was?

**State of Michigan **

**Certificate of Live Birth**

**State File Number 300-000-3232000 Date Filed June 20, 1983**

**Childs Name (First Middle Last Suffix) Christian Hayes**

**Date of Birth June 18, 1983**

**Gender Male**

**Child's Birthplace Detroit, Wayne County**

**Mother's Maiden Name Ella Hayes**

**Mother's Birthplace Michigan Mother's Age 19**

**Father's Name UNKNOWN**

**Father's Birthplace UNKNOWN Father's Age UNKNOWN**

"Hayes?" He whispers in bewilderment.

"Christian have you not seen your birth certificate before?" I ask him quietly.

He turns to look at me and nods, "I have Ana of course but I've never looked at that part. I've always kept my eyes trained to not look at it…she was nineteen." The last words of his sentence are an afterthought and they grip at my heart. Such a young woman, so lost in her own world that she could not love her beautiful baby boy.

"You were born at Henry Ford Hospital Christian. You can take that file with you to look at whenever you are ready. In there you will find her death certificate as well as cemetery records. Your mother and I purposely kept these items in case you ever had questions. We have them for your brother and sister as well."

I know he hears his father's words but he is too lost in his own thoughts to respond. I nod at Carrick and thank he and Grace both for what they have given us. Christian sits stoically silent still staring at the paper in his hand; it's almost as if he is trying to bore a hole into it with his mind. Abruptly he shoves it back in the envelope and stands, moving my body away from his.

"I just need a minute Ana." He says and hurriedly rushes out of the room.

I am left sitting with Grace and Carrick. They both look at me with love and apprehension. Grace is the first to speak, coming to sit beside me. She rubs my knuckles soothingly, "He just needs to process all of this Ana. He's never asked us about her except when he remembered the foster home and the Colliers over a year ago."

"I know," I tell her, my voice breaking. "It just hurts to see him hurting like this. I wish I could take it all away from him." And I do, if I could erase all of this pain for him I would.

"Don't you see my darling girl? You are taking it away from him. By loving him and encouraging him to find it in himself to face his past you are helping him to close the door on it finally."

I look at my mother-in-law through my bleary eyes processing her words. Perhaps she is right. Once he faces these demons he can put them to rest and I am helping him to do that. I just wish it didn't hurt so much. "Go to him Ana." She encourages me. Stifling a sniffle I stand and go in search of my husband.

Careful not to pass through the great room and interrupt the jovial football game viewers I slip through the hall and up the staircase to the second floor. I know where he has gone to without a second thought; I know I can find him. The door to the master bedroom is cracked. Drawing closer to the doorway I lean in to hear Christian's melodious voice singing softly to our son. Through the crack I can see him sitting on his parent's bed, cradling his sleeping baby against his body. His voice swirls around me, beckoning me to listen.

"_I was never alive till the day I was blessed with you. When I hold you late at night I know what I was put her to do. I turn off the world and listen to you sigh and I will sing my angel's lullaby."_

Grasping my hand over my mouth I choke back a sob. The words he sings to Teddy clutch deeply inside of me. He continues to sing flawlessly, beautifully, rocking our baby softly.

"_So tell me how to stop the years from racing. Is there a secret someone knows? I'll never catch all the memories I'm chasing. I'll never be ready to let go. And when the world seems cold, you feel that all of your strength is gone. There may be one tiny voice. You're reason to carry on. And when I'm not close enough to kiss the tears you cry. You will sing your angel's lullaby. Let this be our angel's lullaby."_

His voice hums the tune longer after he is finished singing the words. I push the door open, just standing there, watching. Christian looks up to me and I cross to him quickly, sitting beside him and pulling him to me with my arms. "I knew I'd find you in here." I murmur to him.

"I just needed to hold him Ana."

"I know." I smile down at my sleeping boy and tuck his blanket under his chin.

"I don't know if I can do this, going to her grave."

"You can Christian because you aren't doing it alone. We don't have to talk about it anymore today. Let's just enjoy our time your family because no matter what is in Detroit, your family is here."

He doesn't respond but instead leans down and kisses Ted before placing him back in his playpen. Ted grunts, stirring slightly and then sighs, relaxing back to dream. Christian fixes his blanket before standing and pulling me up to him. "I love you." He whispers before kissing my lips tenderly. I allow myself to run my fingers through his soft locks. Drawing him against my body, I urge him to feel my love for him. "Let's go join the others." I tell him after he breaks the kiss. Placing his hand at the small of my back he leads me back to the family room where we join everyone and watch the rest of the football game.


	5. Chapter 5

*So I gave you girls a nice long chapter today and this one is pretty short but since you haven't had a lemon on quite awhile I thought you would all enjoy this one and not mind its length so much. I've got a good long chapter already in the works.*

Christian noiselessly closes our bedroom door behind us. My mind is wearied and my body is bone tired. The remainder of our day at the Grey's was wonderful and we stayed late into the evening. The guys broke out the game console and the girls played a few card games. Our little Ted was exhausted as well having played all afternoon with his plethora of aunts and uncles at his grandparents' home. It was peaceful though and I hope that the time spent with family today helps to reaffirm to Christian that no matter what he has his family.

I turn to see Christian still standing in front of the closed door, drinking me in with his gaze. Even though I am drained I recognize his need for me. Touching my fingers to the belt of my charcoal cardigan I deftly untie it, slipping it from around my waist and allow it to drop to the floor. I watch his tongue dart out of his mouth, wetting his lips, his eyes remaining trained on my own. At a slow deliberate pace I shrug the sweater from my shoulders, it slides down my arms and past my finger tips to join the belt. Soon my white cotton tank is lying on top of them, leaving me standing in my simple white bra and black wool pants.

The fatigue I felt just moments ago slowly seeps away from my body being replaced by need. The need to feel my body against Christian's, to comfort him the way I know he needs to be comforted by me. After the most horrific of nightmares touch is always how he connects with me, bringing him back to completion by feeling my love. Finally I shed the wool pants and stand before him only in my underthings. What I do next causes his breath to hitch from pure shock and arousal. Ever so casually I lightly touch my fingers to my skin, allowing them to dance across the swell of my breasts, down my belly and into my panties. He closes his eyes and when he reopens them I can see they are blazing gray in the dim light of our bedroom. Only our bedside lamps are on, casting shadows across the walls. My sensual silhouette moves across the walls too, elucidating my erotic movements. Timidly I dip my fingertips into my center, where only Christian touches me. A soft moan escapes from deep within me as I swirl them around gently before bringing my hand up to my mouth. I trace my fingers over my lips and with my tongue taste myself on them. I feel so brazen and bold standing her before him like this. Touching and tasting myself in front of him makes me feel sexy.

My eyes are locked on Christian, looking for his response. I hear a low groan in his throat. "Finish Anastasia," he whispers.

I remove my fingers from my mouth with one last lick and unsnap my bra before sliding my panties to the floor. Christian is following suit, removing his own clothes. First his cream sweater, then his white undershirt, his dark denim jeans and finally his black boxer briefs. He removes them quickly, wasting no time to move towards me and press his skin against mine. Enveloped in his arms I feel his need for me pressing into my leg. He grips my head in his hands, weaving his fingers through my hair and kisses me hard.

"You always know what I need," he murmurs against my lips before darting his tongue out and following the same path my fingers trailed on them just moments before. "God you taste amazing on your lips. Get in our bed Mrs. Grey. I need to be inside you."

With shaky legs and comply and lay on my back, with my legs bent at the knees, open, inviting him in. He climbs on the bed with me and lowers his head to the apex of my thighs, running his nose along the length of me he breathes in my scent before pushing his fingers inside. He begins slow and methodical ministrations, causing my legs to tremble with anticipation. I am so hot, so turned on and the irony is not lost on me that I did this to myself. Yes it was in front of him and it was his gaze which spurred me on but I found the confidence to be sensual without his touch first. His warm tongue begins to caress one of my most erogenous areas and I feel like I might come apart. All too soon he leaves the area where I need him, licking, sucking and biting his way up my body. Giving special attention to each of my breasts, suckling my nipples slightly before flicking them with his tongue, they harden immediately under his touch.

"Christian…" I whimper helplessly.

"You are so sexy my Ana. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel." He positions himself and slowly pushes inside of me. As much as I want to close my eyes I don't. I keep my gaze joined with his as our bodies intertwine. "Put your legs up baby, prop your ankles on my shoulders. I need to be deep inside of you."

My limbs feel like jello and I try to lift my legs. Christian aids in my efforts, placing one hand on each of my legs and positioning them on either shoulder. This is deep, so deep. I swallow hard, feeling his length hit the end of me. I need him to move, I need to feel him moving inside of me. As if he can read my thoughts he begins to stroke me from the inside out in a steady, intimate rhythm. He kisses each of my ankles in turn before picking up his pace. I close my eyes, willing him to take me as high and as far as he wishes for me to go. Willing him to lose himself in me, in my body but hoping that at the same time he will find himself and the comfort that he needs to get through these next few days.


	6. Chapter 6

My muscles begin to quicken and tighten. Squeezing my eyes shut I brace myself for the impending rush of euphoria to rack my body. The potency threatens to overtake my entire being; I can feel a vigorous tingling even in my toes and fingers.

"Open your eyes baby." Christian almost growls breathlessly, driving me closer to my release. "Look at me. I want to see you when I make you come. Please…Ana…always look at me."

I force my heavy eyelids open and gaze into the eyes of the beautiful man above me as he commands my body with his own. A flood of emotion and pleasure cause me to cry out wordlessly. I hear his name on my lips before my muffled words fill the room, joining the resonances made by our union. _Oh God…_ "I love you Christian!" My voice shouts out in ecstasy and I feel him shudder above me before collapsing down on top of me, supporting himself with his elbows.

"Ana…" He whispers, his nose touching mine. I wrap my arms and legs around him, holding him to me as he continues to tremble and quake from his own release. I cradle him to me for what seems like hours until he withdraws from inside of me. Tenderly he binds me against him, wrapping his arms and legs around mine before falling into a deep and peaceful sleep.

** Christian has been in **his study for a better part of the morning. Taylor has provided the necessary information regarding our hotel arrangements for the duration of our trip. We will be staying at the Atheneum Suite Hotel. Upon learning the name of the hotel I searched for it online and found that it is in the heart of Detroit's Greektown. While this trip will be stressful I am excited to explore the area we will be lodging in. The restaurants and culture which will surround us sound amazing and I for one and am excited to sightsee a bit. Perhaps a little time out and about with Ted and I will prove to calm Christian's nerves and help him to enjoy himself. The hotel looks absolutely beautiful and for the first time I allow myself to be enthused about going.

**Scooping a taste of **rice cereal on his spoon I offer Teddy another bite of his lunch. His eagerly awaiting little mouth makes him look like a tiny baby bird waiting to be fed by his mother. I giggle at his zest for food while he sucks every last bit from the utensil until it is clean for the next spoonful from his bowl. He waves his arms up and down excitedly as he watches me stir the cereal before offering him another taste.

"Mommy can't feed you fast enough can she Teddy?" I ask him and he gurgles in agreement. When the sound of Christian's voice in the hall signals that he is approaching the kitchen Ted turns his attention from the waiting spoon to squeal. He hears his daddy and his excited to see him. Walking through the kitchen door Christian hangs up the phone which he had been talking on, giving us both a smile.

"Is Mommy feeding you your lunch son?" He gives Ted all of his attention.

"Mommy can't feed him fast enough Daddy." Shifting my eyes downward I notice the papers Christian is grasping in his hands. I wonder if they have something to do with the phone call he was just on. Pulling out the kitchen table chair beside me he sits down and lays them on the table.

"What are those?" I ask indicating with an inclination of my head in the direction of the papers.

"Cemetery records."

"What have you found out?"

"She's buried at Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery in Detroit. I guess that explains a lot." Christian's tone is deadpanned. I'm unsure what he thinks this information clarifies about the situation except for the fact that he now knows where he birthmother is buried.

"How?" I urge him to continue on with his unfinished thought.

He looks at me dubiously, almost as if I have grown two heads or something. "She's buried in a Catholic cemetery Anastasia. She was Catholic. That's why I'm alive and not dead."

His words hit me hard. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my chest. If it weren't for Ted banging his hands on his highchair table not so subtly reminding me he wants more to eat I would still be sitting like a stone statue.

"Well she wasn't using any method of birth control obviously and she didn't abort her pregnancy." He says with disgust.

I'm still winded by the conclusions he is drawing from the information he now possess. Struggling to find the right words I shake my head as if to clear it before speaking. Avoiding a confrontation is the key right now. I want to support him and his hate for this woman is completely founded but I can't help to worry when I hear what he is saying, worry that it is consuming him again. Freshening old wounds which healed over but never completely disappeared. I keep on with the task at hand of feeding Ted, allowing him to vent what he needs to.

"Surely she could have given me up for adoption right from the start instead of making my life a living hell. Where were her parents? My grandparents, what kind of people were they to let their daughter do what she did?"

Placing Ted's spoon in his grasp to amuse him for a few moments I turn my attention to the man beside me. His knuckles are white due to the tight fists he has his hands formed in as they rest on the table, covering the public records. Cautiously I cover his hands with mine, only then does his gaze shift from the papers to my eyes.

"Those are all 'what ifs' Christian." My voice is steady and calm, not what I am feeling inside but I must convey this message to him on the outside. "She may have wanted to try to be your mother. Her parents may have tried to get her to make another choice than the ones she made; then again they may not have even known about you." He closes his eyes and shakes his head 'no'. "Yes Christian, you have no way of knowing what scenarios contributed to the situation Ella found herself in. She was so young…" I am insistent, refusing to allow him the chance to dwell in these obscure thoughts. "Besides, if she had given you up for adopting right away you might never have found your way to the Grey's and then you may have never found your way to me. Everything happens for a reason Christian. When something bad happens that is what I always tell myself. It helps to make the bad times make sense to me. Without the bad we would never know the good."

Finally I feel his hands relax underneath mine. Slowly he turns them over so that his palms are facing upwards; he enfolds my hands in his and squeezes them gently before looking at me. "I would have always found my way to you Anastasia. Us finding each other was always a guarantee. It may have taken me twenty seven years to find you but you were made for me and there is no doubt in my mind that I would have always found you."

His words are as pure and beautiful as they always are. Unable to match them I do the only thing I can think to do, I kiss him. He kneads my lips with his in a tender kiss.

"Whether we go to the cemetery or not, the choice is yours Christian. It is your choice to make. You do only what you think you can handle and that will be enough for me. I will support you no matter what."

"I know Ana, I know."

Teddy makes a smacking noise with his lips against his baby spoon causing us to turn our attention towards him. "He wants more lunch Mommy."

"He always wants more lunch." I take Ted's spoon and scoop more cereal on it which he eats right away, lolling it around in his mouth with his tiny pink tongue. "Would you like to finish feeding him Daddy and I'll whip us up some lunch?"

"Sure," Christian says taking the spoon from my hands and scooting to my chair when I stand to begin making sandwiches for us. "Are you ready to finish your cereal son?" He smiles at Ted and my heart almost bursts. Teddy of course jibbers with delight, his shining eyes darting between his daddy and the spoon filled with deliciousness.

I take two plates from the cabinet and reach for the bread box. In a few minutes I have assembled two delicious roasted chicken sandwiches on whole grain bread each with a side of fruit. I made sure to slice an extra banana to mash up for my hungry little man. Setting the two plates on the table I note the feeling on tranquility which seems to have fallen over us all. Discussing Detroit is stressful and difficult but once the subject is out in the open it becomes easier. I hope Christian feels the same as I do. Talking about it helps to heal the deeply rooted wounds in his soul. I'm unsure if he is aware of it though. Does he see the change in himself after conversing with me or even Flynn about it? I'm sure he must, but is the positive outcome after the difficult conversation as apparent to him as it is to me? Each time it's as if a little more weight is lifted from his shoulders.

I watch him mushing his pieces of banana with a fork and sharing them with his son while he takes a bite from his sandwich. He catches my stare and smiles at me. "What?" He asks.

"Nothing, I just love watching you two."

"I can see your thoughts Ana, what is it?"

I hesitate before continuing. "It's just that after we talk about the difficult subject you seem, I don't know, better."

He pauses before taking another bite of his sandwich and looks at me thoughtfully. "Talking about my past is much easier than it used to be. In the past I became angry and stayed there for a long time."

"I'm glad. I'm so proud of you." I reach over and squeeze his arm reassuringly.

He smiles before turning back to Ted and feeding him more bananas. I know our conversation is over for now and that's okay with me. We jumped a few large hurdles today. There are more to move over I know, Christian will make it through. The demons of his past are becoming fewer with every passing day. He is no longer the angry, insecure man I met over a year ago. He now sees that he is loved and is capable of giving love. Love, I think…that is Christian's greatest gift to give and to receive.

*the site with Fifty Shades Complete Part 1 is now live. I'm adding chapters slowly but they are all much longer and some have added scenes. If you would like the site link please email me. My email address is ktscarlett1982 and I use hotmail. *


	7. Chapter 7

**My Blackberry begins ringing**; setting down my book I reach over to pick it up from where it is lying beside me on the couch. Mom, I smile and hit the button to answer the call.

"Hello," I say cheerfully, happy to hear from my mother.

"Ana, it's so good to hear your voice baby girl. How are you doing? How's Ted?"

My mom calls me every week to check on Ted and I. Of course I send her pictures like crazy. I know she misses Ted. She hasn't seen him since Kate's wedding back in August and he has grown so much in the past 4 months.

"He's great Mom. He started rolling over and I know he's going to crawl soon. He loves to get on his knees and rock back and forth. He jabbers nonstop too."

She coos about how cute that must be and tells me she wants a video of him rolling over the next time he does it. We talk about Ted for a few more minutes before she brings up the real reason she called.

"We are leaving next week for Las Vegas. They moved Bob's transfer up a week. The moving company is actually here now packing things up." I hear her cover the phone, muffling her voice as she directs someone who I assume to be one of the workers as to where to put a box. "Sorry baby,"

"That's okay." I tell her.

"As you can probably tell it's rather busy around here. So anyways we'll be in Las Vegas by Wednesday, crazy huh?"

"At least you have help packing," I offer. Trying to get everything packed at the last minute would be a nightmare if she didn't.

"Fortunately I've been packing for a while now. I'm so excited to be moving closer to my family. There's really nothing holding us down in GA. Bob's parents are in Arizona so we'll be closer to them too."

I listen to her ramble on about the move, how much she loves the new house in Las Vegas and how she cannot wait to visit us at Thanksgiving. I tell her about our trip next week to Detroit but choose to leave out the details surrounding Christian's birthmother. I've never shared much with my mom about the first few years of Christian's life and if or when I do I don't really want for it to be done over the phone. Somehow revealing the story of his time before Grace and Carrick has never seemed like something that it is my place to do. It's not my story to share and it is definitely not a story my husband shares with people. We talk for a little longer before saying our goodbyes and hanging up. She usually talks to Ted as well but has to hang up early due to a problem with the packing. I tell her I love her and press 'end' on my phone, returning back to reading my book before my Teddy wakes up from his after lunch nap.

**"Roll over with Daddy**, Ted." I blink my eyes open trying to assimilate myself to my surroundings. I am on the sofa, covered with a soft fleece throw. The late afternoon sun is streaming through the floor to ceiling windows of the family room. I yawn and stretch. I must have dozed off while reading my book as it is now lying on my chest still opened to the page I had been reading. Christian has moved the coffee table to the side of the room and is in the middle of the floor with our son. They are both unaware of the fact that I am awake, caught up in playing with each other. Teddy props himself up with his hands, his eyes tracking Christian's every movement as he rolls for his stomach to his back, coaching Teddy to join him and do the same. Ted's baby giggles fill my ears.

"Come on son, you can do it." Christian coaxes him and Ted does. He rolls over to his back and continues rolling until he is on his tummy again. In close enough proximity to reach his blue pacifier which is now on the floor right in front of him. Still supporting his body with one hand he reaches a wobbly arm out and grasps his pacy before stuffing it in his mouth. I beam at the two of them, enjoying this delightful moment.

Christian rolls to his back again and reaches for Ted lifting him up in his arms, high above his head, before bringing him back down to blow raspberries on his tummy. Teddy laughs with infectious glee causing Christian to laugh too. The love he has for his son is fluid, constantly growing and changing in depth. From the first few months of gentle tender care to now when they play together like this triggering smiles on both of their parts. Christian draws his knees up and lowers Ted to recline on them, propped up facing him. They stay like this, entranced by each other. Playing and laughing, giggling and learning, while I watch them from my post on the sofa. They are too lost in one another to notice that I am awake and I gladly give them this time to bond without my interference. They need Daddy and Teddy playtime.

**We are lying in **the center of our bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Our legs are tangled together and all I feel is skin against skin, warm, sensual and comforting. Christian gently strums his hand up and down my spine.

"Content Mrs. Grey?"

I hum my assent, nuzzling my nose against his chest, feeling the soft tickle of his hair on my skin. I kiss each of his nipples in turn, feeling them pucker at my touch. Our day at home with Ted has been wonderful, notwithstanding the episode at lunchtime when Christian shared the burial information with me. Tenderly I allow my hands to drift across his skin, drinking in the sensation and warmth of this vibrant man who holds me in his arms every night.

"You are insatiable." He growls playfully at my touch, my hands traveling further south on his delicious body.

"Hmmmm…I wonder where I learned that from." I smirk up at him, the dull light from the moon casts over my face, allowing him to see my expression.

"Ana are you nervous about our trip?" _Whoa, sudden change of direction._

I contemplate his question. "No." I answer him plainly. "I'm only concerned for you and what it will bring back to you." Even though I do feel uneasy I do not want to voice it to him. The last thing he needs is to worry about me when he already has so much on his plate. This is a business trip after all and I do not want to be a source of anxiety for him.

I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head; in turn I press my lips to his chest again. "Mom called today." I offer a change of subject to lighten the mood. I don't want to dwell on Detroit right now. There will be enough time for that in the coming days.

"Oh? What did she have to say?"

I break into the story of our phone conversation. Telling him how they are moving a week early and will be in Las Vegas this week. I share how excited Mom is for Thanksgiving that she cannot wait to see Teddy and all of the new things he can do now. Christian listens intently to me as I ramble on. I didn't realize until today when I found out she was moving closer to me sooner rather than later how much I truly do miss my mom. I want her to be a part of my son's life and any other children we have later. _Other children… _At that thought I feel my stomach drop and nerves set in.

"What is it baby?" He must sense a change in my tone at the mention of having her in our children's lives. 'Children,' being the operative word, plural, more than one, I want more children. I don't want Teddy growing up as an only child like I did but…_when?_

"What's what?" I ask attempting to play off my sudden attack or nerves.

"When you mentioned having children I sensed you drifted away from me for a second. You still want to have more children don't you?"

"I do, I just don't know when. I love being Ted's mommy and right now that's all I see myself as. I know that must sound selfish." And it does, I know it sounds selfish but I love my little boy so much. I know my heart will grow and expand when we have more children, I've pondered these musings before. Teddy is nearing six months of age, I don't want my children to be too far apart but I don't want them to be too close together either. I want them to play together though. When is the perfect time to have another baby? I rejoice in our Mommy, Daddy and Teddy time. Having a baby will forever change our family dynamic.

Christian squeezes my body against his. "No baby, that doesn't sound selfish. I feel the same. I want more children but I'm not ready to give up this miracle yet. The sensation of being a first time parent to our first child is something we will never have again."

"But when is the right time then?"

I hear his feel his sigh as I am pressed tightly to him. "I'm not sure that there is a perfect or right time Ana. Perhaps we will just know when the time is right."

Meshing my fingers in his chest hair I marvel at how simple his answer was. It makes sense, why had I not thought of it myself? If the present does not feel like the right time then it isn't. I recall Grace saying to me that something inside of me will whisper to me when the time is right, telling me when our family is ready to expand.

"Until that time comes there is no reason why we shouldn't keep practicing for it." Christian breaks my thoughts by rubbing himself against my suggestively.

"Oh, Mr. Grey I do believe we have had plenty of practice of how to make babies." I giggle raising my face so that I am gazing into his now playful eyes.

"Practice makes perfect baby. You can never have too much practice." He waggles his eyebrows at me and I cannot help but be caught up in his seductive yet frisky mood.

"Hmmmmm…well since it is practice…I suppose I should be a good little student and take lessons from my teacher." I take one of his nipples in my mouth and nibble it mischievously.

"I don't think you're being a good little student at all. In fact I think you are behaving rather naughtily and you need to be punished."

The familiar sensation of warmth and desire pools deep down, heating and wetting me in all the right places. I take his other nipple in my mouth and give it the same attention, this time biting with a little more force.

"Definitely naughty and in need of a good spanking," he growls before sitting up and pulling me over his lap in one swift movement.

I gasp and let out a surprised laugh as he puts me across his knees but still and quiet the instant I feel his fingers dip inside of me from behind. "Since I'm your teacher and you're my student I think you should count. Sharpen your math skills." He suggest before pulling his fingers out of me and bringing his hand back down to land with a delicious stinging slap on my behind.

"One," I cry out, voicing my need and desires. My skin prickles beneath his hand but warms instantly with his carress. Again, again! My inner goddess and body both scream at once, wanting more, craving more. With the next slap I am lost in him, in me, in the moment. I have got to remember to be naughty more often.


	8. Chapter 8

**I step into my** brown flats and smooth out my ginger orange colored ballet knit top. A casual but smart look paired with my favorite pair of dark wash boot cut jeans. We leave for Detroit tomorrow so I have decided to go in to the office and ensure things are in order before I leave for our trip. Christian whistles from behind me while I examine my look in the mirror, finishing it off with one of my long gold hooped chain necklaces. I blush and smile at his reflection.

"I cannot even describe how amazing your ass looks in those jeans," he says approaching me. He cups my behind in his hands, giving it a little squeeze. "Someday very soon I am finally going to claim this beautiful ass Anastasia."

_Oh!_ It has been quite a while since he has mentioned that. Can I do that? We've definitely umm…gone there…before just not all the way. I blush. Do I want to do that? _Hell yes you do!_ My inner goddess obviously has her own opinion on the matter at…erm…hand?

"So you approve of my look for work today?" I ask coyly, batting my eye lashes.

"Oh baby, I more than approve." He nips at my ear and growls.

"I've pumped enough milk for Ted to stay with Mrs. Jones today." I desperately try for a change of subject before my entire brain scatters to the four winds and I lose all coherent control of myself. He grins knowingly at me. "What?"

"Mrs. Taylor now Anastasia."

They got married! How exciting, now I hate that I am going in today. I am so excited to talk with Gale. "That's wonderful," I tell Christian. "I'm so happy for them. When will they take their honeymoon?" I feel awful that they are both back at work today instead of enjoying their first few days as husband and wife on a vacation.

"Once we are back from Detroit they will be taking off for a week."

"Good, they both deserve the time together."

"Now, back to what we were discussing."

"We'll have to discuss what we were discussing at a later time Mr. Grey. I need to leave for work and so do you." I place my hands over his and lift them from my backside, walking out of his grasp to take my purse from where it rests on the dresser. My inner goddess pouts and stomps her exasperated little foot at me. She would much rather blow off work and get back to the ass talk. I frown at her. Okay, well I much more prefer the ass talk too but I need to leave so it is just going to have to wait.

**"Good morning Mrs. Grey."** The new intern, Ellen, from the University of Washington greets me cheerily as I enter the lobby. Claire looks up from where she is standing behind Ellen and smiles, "Hi Mrs. Grey. Did you bring our Teddy in with you today?" She asks looking behind me hopefully.

"Nope, not today, he stayed with Gail."

"Awww…I hope you'll bring him in soon. Hannah and I cannot wait to see how much he has grown."

"How are you enjoying your internship Ellen?" I ask turning my attention to the young woman who is obviously working hard to understand the ins and outs of her job. Claire must be giving her some sort of instruction.

"I love it very much Mrs. Grey, thank you." Ellen is a petite brunette, pale skin, hazel eyes and is soft spoken. I've only met her once before, she seems nice enough and is eager to learn all that she can about HR. Claire has taken our receptionist area and helped it grow into a small but thriving HR department, taking it leaps and bounds from what it was just a year ago. I know that Ellen is in good hands and if she works out I hope to snatch her up to add to our staff.

"Well, I'll let you two ladies continue on with your work." Slipping the strap of my purse higher on my shoulder to a more comfortable position wish them both a good morning and make my way to my office.

I've been at my desk checking emails and returning necessary correspondences for about an hour when I hear a knock at my door. "Come in," I call distractedly as I continue to click away on the keyboard of my computer.

"Good morning Mrs. Grey," Hannah says entering with her notepad in hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner, Roach had me taking minutes for a phone conference he was holding and we just wrapped it up."

"That's fine Hannah. Will you please type up those minutes and submit them to me before lunch? Also, UW has contacted me in reference to my request for another intern. They have a student who would like to intern in editing. Here is their contact information," swiveling my chair around I reach for the paper from the printer which I have just printed off and hand it to her. "Would you please get in touch with the university's contact person listed here on this paper before the end of the day?"

She takes the paper and glances over it briefly before responding. "Yes ma'am I can take care of this. Is there anything else?"

"No, that should be all. I'll finish reading this manuscript which Roach submitted to me last week and then meet with him in regard to my thoughts on it."

"If the student at UW does indeed take the internship when would you like for me to arrange the orientation?"

"Have we heard back from WSU concerning their student who will be interning with Ellen?"

I watch as Hannah flicks through her iPad, presumably checking her email for any new updates. She furrows her brow before responding. "It doesn't seem that we have. Should I contact the department head again?"

"Please. I'd like to schedule the orientation for both of them at the same time. Kill two birds with one stone."

She smiles in agreement and nods. "If that is all then I will get started on these minutes and have them for you soon."

I thank Hannah again and she leaves my office, closing the door behind her. Hannah is really an invaluable asset to this publishing company. I must remember to do something special for her and Claire both. Without their support and dedication my extended maternity leave would not have been possible. They make things run smoothly; putting their hearts and souls into everything they do every day.

After a successful meeting with Roach I go back to my office to review the minutes Hannah has laid on my desk. The phone conference was with L&E Advertising. An involuntary shiver runs down my spine but I quickly squash any unpleasant thoughts to the back of my mind. He's not there anymore, he's gone. It seems that the new agent handling our account is a man by the name of Ethan Hall. The name is unfamiliar to me but his ideas and work so far seem solid. All aspects of the company are doing well; our profits continue to climb in an upward direction even in these uncertain financial times. I like to believe it is due to my constant belief in giving new and fresh authors a chance to shine. Some of the most superlative manuscripts which have crossed my desk recently have been from unknown authors. I want to give these men and women a chance in the publishing world. No one was anyone until they had the chance to become someone, that's what Ray always told me when I was little. You have to start at the bottom before you can get to the top.

Before I shut down my computer and go to lunch, my email pings.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Your Day

**Date: **November 5 2012 11:45

**To: **Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey,

I hope your day at work is going well, missing you and looking forward to continuing our conversation from this morning very soon.

Christian Grey

Left Hanging, CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Left hanging? I snicker to myself but cannot help the grin at his sexually flirtatious tone. A very determined tone too. How were you left hanging my dear Mr. Grey? I do believe I had to go to work as did you, in fact I know we discussed that rather pertinent fact as you fondled my behind this morning. I quickly email him back, my stomach growls reminding me I am hungry but I am also hungry for a bit more email flirting with my husband.

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Hanging How?

**Date: **November 5 2012 11:48

**To: **Christian Grey

My Dear Husband,

Excuse me if I am a bit baffled by your signature but exactly how were you left hanging sir? I do believe your intentions this morning were halted due to a very valid reason; we both had to go to work. I am however willing to reopen the subject at hand for further evaluation and consideration.

Anastasia Grey

Willing & Captivated CEO, Grey Publishing

I hit send, there; let's see what he does with that. A few minutes pass, no email pings. Hmmmm…he must have had to go into a meeting or something. I begin to gather my purse and jacket. The deli down the street has been calling my name all morning; I can almost taste their baked potato soup. Perhaps one of the girls would like to go to lunch with me. My blackberry begins to ring; I know exactly who it is by the ring tone. Even if he didn't have his own I am certain I would know it was him after our little bout of email sparring.

"Hello," I answer cheerfully as if I have not a care in the world.

"Mrs. Grey," He purrs. His voice is like melted chocolate and caramel all mixed into one deliciously sweet concoction. "You are being very evasive my love."

"Evasive? How? I believe it was you who accused me of leaving you hanging."

"In all actuality not one part of me was hanging. Essentially I was stimulated by the situation and you are the only one who can remedy my current state."

A pleasurable wave of warmth spreads through my body, moving upward from down there. Even over the phone, this man, _oh God._

"I can assure you Mr. Grey that I can take care of your current state of….shall we say awakening? Excitement? Arousal?" I lower my voice on the last word. I am the only one in the room and I know no one else can hear me but still…The effect it has on him is evident by the hitch in his breath.

"How much longer do you plan to work today Anastasia?"

"Oh, hmmmmm…I'm off to lunch right now with the girls and then I have a few more things I need to attend to this afternoon. Will you pick me up at say four o'clock?" My coy tone of voice does nothing but egg him on. Spurring his determination to have me the way he wants me when he finally gets to me. It is exciting and forbidden all at the same time. He is my husband of course but he wants to play in a new way, I know. Briefly I wonder what has brought on his desire to take this certain matter a step further now but I don't entertain the thought for long. It's not as if we have never played before.

"I will be there baby. Be ready for me."

"I definitely will be. I love you."

"I love you baby." With that the line drops and the phone call ends. My insides tighten in a delectable manner at the anticipation of what the near future might bring. I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to clear it from the dirty thoughts which are rushing in. I'm still at work and hungry. Dropping my phone in my bag I leave my office in search of the girls.

***Note my site is up and the logins have been enabled :) Holler if you have any issues. I plan to get a few more edited chapters up there this weekend.***


	9. Chapter 9

**I've been back from** lunch for two hours and am deep in thought as I read over some proposed edits to one of the most recent manuscripts I have been advocating to publish through our eBook line. With my red pen I scribble over several of the suggested changes and place it back in its envelope. Buzzing Hannah I ask her to return the package to our editors for further examination. I attach a note to the outside suggesting they read my notes before making any more changes. I pull up my email program to type out a quick email notifying every one of my impending absence for the next few days. As I hit send a new email arrives, I smile, Christian.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Impatient and Eager

**Date: **November 5 2012 14:20

**To: **Anastasia Grey

Anastasia,

I have endeavored to give the virtue of patience a sincere attempt today. However, my eagerness has attained the best of me. I will be there to collect you momentarily.

Christian Grey

Virtuous Failure, CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

So much for getting more work done today, I call Hannah in to let her know that I have to leave early unexpectedly.

"Okay. I do hope everything is alright."

"Everything is fine Hannah, I just had something come up." I tell her closing my briefcase and picking it up from my desk. Something has come up indeed; my subconscious gives me her best snarky attitude. It might not be up yet but it will be soon, my inner goddess is clapping like a small child about to enter a candy store.

I only have time to tell Claire and Ellen goodbye before I feel a cool breeze float through the reception area as the front door opens. "Good afternoon Mr. Grey," Claire says kindly. I turn to see Christian striding in with his usual air of confidence. He nods politely in her direction. My eye catches Ellen's expression as she observes the man before her. She seems to be intently studying him. "Christian Grey," he says to Ellen holding his hand out to her.

"Ellen Wise," she says meekly shaking his hand.

"Ellen is our new HR intern from UW. Claire has been working with her, showing her the ropes of our HR department," I tell him.

"Well, enjoy your time here at Grey's Publishing Miss Wise. Are you ready to go Mrs. Grey?" He asks turning his full attention to me.

"I am," I smile.

"Good, I have a surprise for you." I watch as he pulls a simple black cloth from the pocket of his gray pants. "Close your eyes."

"Christian, what in the world?"

"I said close your eyes." He admonishes me. I comply, trying my best not to blush. Claire and Ellen must have some suspicions as to what's going on between us. The tone of his voice and my reaction to him surely speaks volumes. I can't bring myself to look at either one of them out of sheer mortification. The looks they must be exchanging between each other! He moves behind me and without touching me covers my eyes with the cloth until all I see his darkness. Promptly he ties it at the back of my head so that it is securely in place. "Good day Miss Wise, Claire," I hear him say before I am swept up in his arms.

"Christian, put me down. I can walk." I protest in a hushed tone, attempting not to make a scene.

"You are blind folded Mrs. Grey and I do not relish the thought of you breaking your neck. Besides, I told you I have a surprise for you. Now what's a surprise if you can see it?"

I smile and allow him to carry me out to the SUV. With little effort he bends down, opens the back door and slides me in the back seat. I place my purse and brief case on the floor and hear my door shut. Seconds later the back door on the other side opens. I feel Christian slide in next to me.

"Ready sir?" Taylor's voice comes to my ears from the driver's seat.

"Yes, Taylor."

"And just where are we going Mr. Grey?"

"Tut tut Mrs. Grey." He taps my nose with his finger, sliding it down over my lips before pressing his mouth to mine. My insides curl tightly. What does he have planned for me?

Our drive is a short one. In no time I feel the vehicle slowing to a stop, and then a door opens, presumably Christians. I hear my door open and feel his arms scooping me up. "I need my purse," I tell him when the sound of the car door closing meets my ears.

"Taylor has it, no worries. Taylor I have the R8 here, I will drive Mrs. Grey and I home this evening. Will you please take our things home and tell Gail we will be dining out tonight. We will be home in a few hours."

"Yes, sir," Taylor responds and the SUV pulls away.

"Christian, what about Ted?" Putting two and two together I believe we are at Escala. I know why we are here and my stomach is doing somersaults.

"I've spoken with Gail and she will be taking care of him until we get home."

The elevator bell sounds and the doors slide open. I am still blind folded, clutching my arms around Christian's neck. He sets me down gently, allowing me to slide down his body slowly, feeling ever sinew of muscle through his white linen shirt. "Do you know where you are now Anastasia?"

I smile and shake my head 'no' even though in reality I know exactly where I am. "Oh I think you do. But just in case…" His long fingers untie the knot at the back of my head and the black cloth falls, letting me see again. We are in the foyer; a vase with a single red rose adorns the table in front of me.

"I needed to be alone with you, and I could not wait another minute. Come." He takes my hand and leads me into the great room. The sound of our heels clicking on the floor echoes throughout the vast room. I note the bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket on the breakfast bar and raise an eyebrow at him.

"Are we really dining out tonight?"

"Not exactly, our catered dinner has been delivered and we may dine on it whenever we choose. First I have other plans for you…and for those plans I need you naked."

His words go straight to the apex of my thighs, causing me to almost come on the spot. Swallowing hard I find some sense of aptitude and step out of my flats. I am all too happy to comply with his request. Not taking his locked gaze from mine he mirrors my actions, stepping out of his shoes as well. I reach for the bottom of my knit top and pull it over my head. He unbuttons his shirt and allows it to fall to the floor. We continue this sensual paralleled dance of eroticism until we are standing completely naked before each other. Not touching, only watching, and absorbing the sight of one another with one of our senses.

"Are you ready for this Ana?"

My mouth goes dry, this is it. He wants to play. He wants to own my body completely in every way.

"Yes." My voice is barely a whisper, laced with anticipation.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

He holds his hand out to me and I step forward, grasping it in mine. I would follow this man anywhere. He precedes me and I follow behind, through the apartment and up the stairs to our playroom. _Our playroom,_ will I ever get use to saying that. He opens the door and I inhale the familiar scent. Citrus, leather, wood and polish, all of these smells are so comforting to me. Christian directs me over to the mahogany chest of drawers, opening first the drawer with scented lotions and oils. He selects one of the bottles before closing the drawer.

"Lube," he says by way of explanation before opening the next drawer. With a careful eye he examines the contents of the drawer before settling on a rather familiar implement. The large vibrating toy which looks like a pacifier, we have used it a few times since. However, the memory of the first time will forever be burned in my mind's eye. My body is tied in knots.

"I'm not going to restrain you Ana. I need you to feel comfortable and able to communicate with me. If at any time something does not feel right you must tell me, do you understand? This is as much about your pleasure as it is mine." He looks deep in my eyes while he speaks. "Your body is ready for this baby. I would not be doing this if it wasn't. We'll need to use safe words though, yellow and red. Do you remember?"

"Yes, I remember."

He leans forward and places one of his hands along my cheek, gently strumming his thumb over my cheek bone. "I love you Anastasia Grey."

"And I you Christian Grey." I reciprocate his words as well as his love. He melds his lips to mine, coaxing them open to allow his tongue to stroke mine. I drink in the taste of him. Our only physical contact is his hand on my face and this kiss.

"Get on the bed," he commands against my mouth once the kiss is broken, "face up."

I obey, doing just as he asked. Settling against the red satin sheets and pillows I watch him crawl up from the foot of the bed. His muscles shifting and moving with each motion he makes. I could watch him naked like this, above me, forever. He parts my legs with his and settles himself between them, barely touching me. His hands run up from my stomach, over my swollen breasts, teasing each nipple, causing them to pucker under his touch. "Christian…" I whimper. If I am this stimulated already I cannot imagine how I am going to handle what he has planned for me. My hands grasp the sheets one either side of me, knotting them in my fingers.

"Do you want me to nurse you now or after?"

"After," I almost cry out. My body is craving him; he is lingering so closely to where I need him to be right now. If I just tilt my hips up…

"Do you need me Ana?"

"I do, so much." My voice sounds so frantic, bursting with need for him.

He leans down, placing his mouth right next to my ear. I can feel his warm breath tickling my skin when he speaks. "Is your body aching for me?"

I feel myself tremble, shuddering beneath him. "Yes."

Christian runs his tongue along the edge of my ear and down my neck, leaving a trail of soft bites in its wake. Suddenly I am aware of his hand rubbing circles at the apex of my thighs. He slips two fingers inside of me; in and out they slide through my slickness. "Baby you are so ready." He murmurs against my breast where he is kissing me, still running his tongue south. He does not stop until he finds his goal. Removing his fingers he drives his tongue inside of me, swirling it around, tasting, and consuming me. Instinctively my fingers knot in his copper locks, cradling him against my sensitive flesh. I feel myself beginning to rise as does he. "Not yet Ana, not yet," he pulls back, allowing me to calm before beginning his ministrations again. Circles with his tongue, driving me out of my mind. I close my eyes and throw my head back trying my best to absorb the multitude of sensations which are flowing through my body. Never taking mercy on me he continues to halt just before I come.

He pulls away from me one last time. "Turn over now Anastasia."

I blink my eyes open roll over to my belly. "Draw your knees up, put your behind in the air my beautiful wife."

I feel the cold metallic pacifier shaped object between my legs, caressing where his tongue just touched me. "I'm going to slip this inside you know." I feel the coldness filling me and cry out when the vibrations begin. "Just feel it Ana, let it relax you. Concentrate on the feeling of it." I hear him open the bottle he took from the chest of drawers and squeeze the liquid out. His warm hands begin to spread it on me, his fingers working it inside of me, there. Massaging me, lubricating me, my body protests at first but seems to remember his touch, accepting him.

I gulp, trying to handle everything that is happening all at once. Both of his hands leave my behind and I hear more liquid being squirted out. "Christian?" I call out in question, my body missing his suddenly absent touch.

"Baby, I'm right here. I'm lubing myself too; it will make things easier, more enjoyable. Remember your safe words Ana." His voice is strained. I imagine him stroking himself and it only fuels the flame inside of me further. He positions his body behind mine, pressing slightly against me. "Are you ready baby?"

"Yes, I'm ready." The vibrations are taking all of my concentration, the feeling is mind numbing. Just as I feel myself drifting into oblivion an intense pressure engulfs my lower half, causing me to take in a sharp breath. I feel like I cannot breathe, it's as if the air has been knocked out of my lungs.

"Baby…"

The sensation is fervent, almost burning. He surges forward, deepening slowly. My body is merely bursting at the seams. "Yellow…" I whisper the word without even thinking. The intensity of him inside of me is staggering. "Slow…please…"

He slows, gently moving until he is completely filling me. Carefully he pulls back completely before pressing in again. My mind is lost, but then I hear Christian's groan of pure undiluted pleasure and it urges me on. I can do this. He feels so good inside of me, claiming me completely as his. I am his and I revel in it.

"Have you got it now baby?"

"Yes, Christian…please…it feels so good."

"Yes…" He hisses setting a pattern of long deep strokes. The vibrations, the stretching, deep, fullness of his body inside of mine, I am soon lost. It feels like hours but I know only minutes pass before I am screaming with abandon as my body tightens around his intimately with my orgasm. A final tremor shoots through me and I feel his fingers digging into the soft flesh of my behind as he groans, letting go himself. His release is scorching yet cooling at the same time. Abating the roaring need I felt just moments earlier. Gently he pulls back, breaking our intimate contact and I feel the vibrations stop with the click of the vibrator. Carefully he removes the device from my body and I allow myself to collapse to the sheets, no longer able to hold myself up. I am sated and exhausted and feel myself drifting as Christian lies down beside me, pulling me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Reality begins to slowly** seep back into my mind, bringing me back to the present. My cheek is pressed against Christian's chest. His skin is damp with sweat just like my own. Tiny residual quivers still run through my body, reminding me of the intense passion I felt just moments ago. I feel Christian sit up slightly, taking me with him. He reaches for the red satin top sheet which is tangled at the foot of the bed and pulls it over our bodies.

"Are you cold baby?" He asks tucking it around us and drawing me closer to his own warmth.

"No." I whisper cuddling against him.

"Was it okay for you Ana? Too intense? I didn't hurt you did I?"

This time I look up to observe his face. Concern is etched in his eyes, they are brimming with love. "It was intense, I've never felt so…but no, you didn't hurt me." I tell him honestly. There was a time not so long ago when having this conversation would have made me blush red with embarrassment, but now I know I have to be honest with him. I want to be honest with him and share with him what he enjoys and finds pleasurable.

"If you didn't like it we don't have to do it again." His words echo to me, reminding me of the first time we ever discussed the topic of anal intercourse, the contract. It seems such a forlorn matter now, almost as if it never even happened, but I know it did. Do I want to do it again? Yes. The answer is so simple, yes. Being with Christian and having his body united with mine is one of the purest and richest feelings I have ever known in my life. Granted I have only twenty three years of life to compare it to but he completes me in a way I never thought possible.

"I want to be with you in every way Christian. Being one with you is all I'll ever want."

"Ana…" His voice trails to a breathless whisper before he captures my mouth with his. I feel his tongue graze my bottom lip, gently nipping it, teasing and tasting me. "Let me nurse you now." He says and I nod. With my sanction he moves down my body, resting on his side at my breasts. His warm mouth encircles my puckered and swollen nipple. With gentle nurtures he begins to suckle me, bringing my milk forth into his mouth and swallowing what my body gives to him. How much longer will we have to share these intimate moments of Christian drinking milk from my breast? When will I stop breastfeeding and allow my milk to dry up? These unique moments we share together are just flashes in time. It has become crystal clear to me that I have come to depend on and cherish sharing this time with him just as much as he has come to treasure sharing it with me. It is a deeply intimate and profound action which we impart on each other. It is private, only for the two of us. He wraps his legs around mine and I feel him tenderly kiss my breast before moving to my other breast, giving it the same gentle affection, nursing me until I am comfortable and we are both content.

**Fresh from my hot** bath I flip on the hair dryer to dry my long chestnut locks. Flipping my hair over I run my fingers through the strands repeatedly until they are all dry before pulling them back into a loose ponytail. I know I'll have to dress soon to go back home but I can't resist keeping on my fluffy gray waffle robe for now. The aroma of dinner wafts through the bedroom, meeting my nose as I leave the bathroom. Christian has set to warming everything up while I finished my bath and I am starving. Of course you are, smirks my inner goddess, she too is famished after our late after rendezvous.

Christian has set the dining table for us. Long taper candles flicker against the backdrop of downtown Seattle. The late autumn sun has set and the tall office buildings in the sky twinkle all around us.

"Did you enjoy your bath?" He asks placing two plates full of food on the long rectangular shaped table.

"I did, thank you." Gingerly I sit down in the chair he has pulled out for me. I try my best not to blush at my slow movements, my behind is still a bit sore. I hope the two Advils Christian insisted I take begins to work soon.

"Careful baby, just take it easy." He coaxes, kissing the top of my head.

Dinner looks divine, Fresh mussles in a white wine sauce over a bed of linguine, mouth is watering. "What would you like to drink?"

"Just sparkling water please." Christian fills my glass before taking his seat next to me.

We eat in comfortable silence. I'm not much of a conversationalist this evening due to my ravenous hunger. Having devoured my main course I reach for my bowl of salad next. Christian is just finishing up his salad and smirks at me. "You know Mrs. Grey the salad was supposed to be the first course."

I break off a piece of my French bread and clean my pasta bowl with it before popping it in my mouth. "I couldn't help it Christian, it smelled so wonderful and I was so hungry."

He shakes his head and laughs. "There was once a time when I could not get you to eat much at all. Now I can't seem to keep you fed enough."

"That was before I was pregnant and before I was a breastfeeding mother." I tell him, answering his smirk with one of my own.

"Speaking of…Ana I've wanted to ask you a question for some time now…" I look up from my salad letting him know that he has my full attention. "How long would you like to breastfeed Ted for? I've read that some mothers stop after six months because the child begins eating solids at that time."

He has been reading about breastfeeding? Part of me is shocked but then part of me isn't. Christian has always known my body in the most intimate ways. I take a sip of my water before answering him. I've actually given this matter a great deal of thought.

"I would like to feed him until he is around a year old. I'm using my milk now in his cereal and his food. I'm not ready to give up this bond that I have with him yet. Or…." I hesitate before finishing my thought, feeling foolish and almost ashamed for thinking it. Christian reaches for my hand and squeezes it in his.

"Go on Ana…"

"I'm not ready to let go of the bond it has provided for us either. What we share in those moments is very special to me."

He brings my hand to his mouth and places a searing kiss in my open palm. I feel warmth wash over me, flooding through my veins. "I'm not ready to let go of that either Ana. Thank you." Deep down I know that those times cannot and will not last forever but for now we have them and neither one of us is anxious to let them go.

We finish our meal with both of us reveling in our tranquil moods. Our afternoon and evening have been nothing less than perfect. Life has been busy during the past few months with Christian's work, my working from home and our lives being completely devoted to our precious baby boy. Stealing a few hours of joy for just ourselves has been heavenly. Deep down I pray that they will help to get us through these next few days as we leave for Detroit tomorrow.

Did everyone understand what happened in the last chapter? I had a reviewer say that it was a good lemon but not a great lemon because I didn't use the words anus or anal. Personally I was striving to be sexy and hot but totally tasteful. I just want to make sure you ladies got the gist of what I was writing and that no one else was confused.


	11. Chapter 11

***just getting them to Detroit in this chapter. The real drama begins in the next one. Thank you all so much for your reviews, I love reading all of them. I'm glad everyone 'got' what was going on between them in the playroom. I've posted Chapter 3 of Fifty Shades Complete (first story) on my site w/ an added scene and a few edits here and there. Check it out ;) Now on with this new chapter**********

**The sky is blanketed **with copious ashen clouds, only serving to add to the somber angst of the day. Christian stands on the tarmac speaking with one of his pilots, a new man I have never seen before. The man is significantly shorter than Christian but exudes confidence, firmly shaking his head yes or no and conversing with Christian in a professional manner. Roth, one of the newer members of the security detail hired by Taylor a few months ago, and Sawyer are sitting in the front seats. It seems odd that Taylor is not going with us to Detroit but after he and Gail's wedding this past weekend it was only right that they have these next few days off to themselves. I like Roth well enough though, he is attentive, kind, and seems to know how to handle Christian, all being very important qualities to have.

"I'll just be taking your luggage to the plane Mrs. Grey." Sawyer says before opening his door and exiting the SUV. I hear the trunk open and watch as he and Roth unload our belongings and begin carrying them to the waiting plane. Christian shakes hands with the pilot and makes his way back to where Ted and I sit in the backseat waiting for him.

"Ready?" He asks opening my door. He has been a man of few words since waking up this morning. I have no doubt that his disquiet has been brought on by the upcoming events of today. I step out of the vehicle and turn back to lift Ted in his carrier. I pull his blanket over the top shielding him from the damp cold air. Christian takes him and I reach for mine and Ted's bags.

"All set." I tell him and we make our way to board.

**It will take just** a little under five hours to fly from Seattle to Detroit. Ted should be fine for the duration of the flight but taking off and landing have me a bit on edge. I'm not sure how he will handle the change in altitude. I'm not exactly fond of ascending and descending. With Ted secured in his seat between us and each of us holding one of his hands I look out the window and feel the plane beginning to taxi down the runway. Christian is gazing thoughtful at his son, gently stroking his thumb to and fro across Teddy's hand.

"We should be in Detroit by around two this afternoon then, right?" I ask trying desperately to break the somber mood which has befallen us.

"With the time zone change, yes."

"We're going to be just fine Christian."

He looks from Ted to me, his gray eyes misted with worry. "As long as I have you two I will be just fine." He attempts a smile and I smile back at him just as I feel the plane lift from the ground.

When my ears begin to pop from the pressure change, Ted's do too. He cries out from the discomfort and I reach for the pacifier near his feet which he discarded a few moments ago. "Here baby, take this, it will make your ears feel better." He cries out refusing to take the pacy into his mouth. "Come on Teddy," I continue to try to coax him and he finally begins to suck on it. "There, isn't that better? It will help your little ears."

By the time we are free to remove our seatbelts Ted has fallen fast asleep. "I guess take off really wore him out." I giggle at the now sleeping baby beside me.

"I was beginning to question whether we should have brought him on the plane or not."

Reaching over I rub Christian's arm reassuringly. "He did just fine Daddy. I'll wake him up in a little while and feed him, hopefully he'll sleep through the landing."

Our flight is uneventful. Ted does well, and even wakes to enjoy some playtime with us before nursing and drifting right back off to sleep. Christian isn't much for conversation but is in good spirits when he plays with Ted. My baby is becoming more vocal with each passing day. I love listening to his giggles and the different sounds he voices, earnestly trying to talk. We may not understand his language but he tries his best to convey his feelings to us.

When the plane touches down onto the runway I notice the thick blanket of snow which is covering the grounds surrounding Detroit Metro Airport. Everything looks so clean and beautiful. The little girl inside of me cannot wait to get out in the snow. Large flakes are still falling from the sky, adding to the scene. Teddy stirs slightly before opening his bright gray eyes.

"You get to see snow for the first time baby." I tell him excitedly.

"I only wish it was at home and not here." Christian adds with a displeased tone. The plane comes to a halt and Christian unfastens Ted's seat, lifting it so that we can exit the plane cabin.

A SUV much like ours only silver is sitting on the tarmac waiting for us. Roth and Sawyer are busy packing our luggage in the trunk, the base for Ted's carrier has already been installed in the back. We walk hurriedly to the vehicle, the snow is gorgeous but the north wind has a severe bite to it, stinging my face and hands. Christian holds the door open for me while I secure Ted and slide in myself. He speaks quickly with the pilot, no doubt instructing him on when we will be returning back to Seattle. I am thankful that Sawyer started and warmed the SUV before allowing us to enter it. Even though I covered Ted's carrier his little hands are still icy. I rub them between mine trying to warm his skin.

Sawyer and Roth open their doors and take their places in the front just as Christian gets in too.

"To the Atheneum, Sawyer." Christian instructs.

"Yes, Sir." Sawyer replies and drives us off of the tarmac.

Soon we arrive at the hotel, pulling up to the large unloading area situated at the front. The large glass doors are defined by beautiful lighting and red brick. We will be staying in the penthouse suite. Once Christian has confirmed with the front desk and we are checked in the hotel attendant helps us up to our room. Sawyer and Roth leave us in the lobby, each going to their respective rooms. Holding Ted in my arms I wait for the elevator doors to open, Christian stands behind me with his hand on the small of my back.

When the elevator pings and the doors slide open we step into a huge living space. The walls are painted a soft cream and chocolate brown sofas adorn the room. The most noticeable aspect of the room though are the high ceilings and expansive windows offering a gorgeous view of the Detroit skyline. There is a dining table and wet bar in the room as well. The attendant directs us to the bedroom where we find a king sized bed and deep soaking marble whirlpool bath. I will definitely be giving that a try or two, I think to myself. Christian tips the man before he leaves, telling us to please call the front desk should we require anything.

"Ana where would you like to set Ted's bed up?" He asks me as he begins unpacking our bags, hanging his suites and placing our other clothing items in the drawers. I am still standing with Ted in my arms, marveling and the pure opulence surrounding me. I've been to more luxurious hotels than this but the richness of it all never ceases to amaze me. Will I ever get use to this lifestyle? "Ana?" I hear his voice again and turn to see him waiting for my answer.

"In here with us?" I suggest, I'd like to keep him close to me.

He smiles, really smiles for the first time all day and nods. "Good, that's what I was thinking too. I…just wanted to be sure that you were okay with it."

My brow creases in confusion. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it Christian?"

His look is one of bewilderment, as if he doesn't understand something. "I just wasn't sure how you felt about making love with him in our room. I know it is something we have not done before but Ana…I need you...I need to be with my wife."

Still holding our son in my arms I cross the room to stand in front of Christian. "He's just a baby Christian. It's normal for married couples to make love with their baby in the same room. It doesn't bother me at all, as long as you are comfortable with it. It is how we created him after all." I say smiling up at him.

"So it is Mrs. Grey." He leans down to kiss me and Teddy squeals at his Daddy's closeness to him. Placing a light peck on my lips Christian turns his face to Ted's and kisses his cheek. "God you two make me whole. You give me so much strength Ana."

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss the very tip of his nose. "Now Daddy why don't you take Teddy and show him the snow falling outside of the window while I unpack and put everything where it needs to be, you two can also begin looking at the room service menu so we can decide on dinner later. I don't feel much like going out into the cold and a quiet night in with my two favorite boys sounds like heaven to me right now."

Teddy reaches his arms out and jabbers to Christian until he takes him from me. "I think Mommy's trying to get us out of her hair because she would rather unpack than let me do it. What do you think son?"

Picking up one of my scarves from my open suitcase I swat him playfully on the behind with it. "Shoo both of you." I tell him with laughter in my voice then turn to unpack our bags. Hanging clothes in the closet, putting Teds things as well as a few of our things in the drawers and finally setting our toiletries in the bathroom.

Sitting cross legged at the coffee table Christian and I dine on stuffed grape leaves w/ tzadziki sauce and spinach feta cheese triangles. Teddy sits on his daddy's lap thoroughly enjoying every bite of plain mashed sweet potatoes mixed with my milk that Christian offers to him. I laugh as he smacks his pink baby lips before opening his mouth, waiting patiently for the next spoonful. Introspectively I wish that things could stay this calm and relaxed for the duration of our stay here in Detroit but I know it is not possible. Watching father and son interact with each other joyously I silently pray for Christian to find an inner peace while we are here that he can carry with him for the rest of his life. He may never truly be able to forgive his birthmother for what she did or didn't do but being able to move past it is imperative.


	12. Chapter 12

Next Chapter is Ella's Grave!****

**I pull my damp** hair back with a tie and knot it at the nape of my neck, too tired to worry about drying it tonight. I dip my fingers into the white jar in front of me before rubbing my moisturizer on my face. Lastly I slip into my pale pink satin nightdress. It cuts just above my knees and has spaghetti straps, simple but sexy. I quietly open the bathroom door, ready to snuggle down in bed. When I got in the shower Christian was holding a drowsy Ted in his arms while reading 'Goodnight Moon' out loud to him. Now with the bathroom vanity lights behind me, streaming through the crack in the doorway I can see them still in the center of the bed. Christian is propped against the pillows with his eyes closed, the small board book rests against his bare chest, and our baby is sleeping peacefully in his arms. Ted looks so precious and delicate dressed in his pale blue footed pajamas, wrapped in his father's strong arms. One of his tiny fists is grasped tightly around Christian's right index finger and their breathing patterns are in a matching, relaxed unison.

Careful not to make a sound I pad quietly on tip toes over to the nightstand where my cellphone rests. I cannot resist snapping a picture of the serene sight in front of me. Lifting my phone I quickly flip off the noise before pressing the camera icon and taking the photo. I save it to my pictures and set it as my wallpaper. My two boys, they make my heart sing. I set the phone back down and pull the covers back a smidge before climbing in beside them.

"Ana?" Christian calls my name out dreamily, stirring slightly. Blinking sleepy gray eyes force themselves open. "I must have dozed off." He yawns and I cannot help but smile at how adorable he looks.

I reach my hand up and brush the tousled bit of hair which has fallen over across his forehead. "I'm sorry I woke you. You both looked so content and peaceful."

He looks down at his sleeping son. "I think I may have fallen asleep before him."

I lift the book from Christian's chest. Closing it I place it on the nightstand. "Would you like for me to tuck him in?"

"No baby, I've got him." He scoots to the edge of the bed on my side and stands with Ted in his arms, still fast asleep. "Sleep tight my son." He kisses his cheek before lowering him in to his pack n' play. "Hopefully he'll sleep all night."

"He should, he's had a big day."

With Ted all tucked in Christian flips off the bedside lamp before coming to lay with me, pulling me into his arms. I feel safe and secure enveloped in his strong hold. "What time do you have to leave for your meetings tomorrow?" I ask him tracing small circles on his chest with my fingernails.

"My first meeting is at nine in the morning. Ana, I'd like to visit her grave tomorrow if you don't mind. I just want it to be over with and behind me. The idea of it looming over me for the duration of our stay here is not a savory thought to me."

"We can do that. What time would you like for Ted and me to be ready?" I lean down and brush my lips across his chest, feeling his vibrancy against my skin.

"Around two, I don't want you to leave the hotel without me. Please have room service ordered up for lunch. If Ted is awake in the morning we can find a bakery for breakfast but if not…"

"We'll order room service for breakfast too." I finish smiling up at him. He presses a tender kiss to my mouth.

"Thank you." He tells me with reverence I his voice. "I need to know that you two are safe."

"Don't worry Daddy, we'll be good and we will wait for you."

He inclines towards me, resting his forehead against mine. "I need you so much." He whispers closing his eyes.

I allow my fingers to trail down his chest, over his chiseled abs and dip below his pajama pants, traveling south until they find their goal and grasp the hardness of him. "Why Mr. Grey, I thought you'd never ask." I smirk up at him.

**Ted and I are** awake and dressed by seven the next morning. Our hotel room is beautiful but I am anxious to see at least a little of the city before having to be here for a large portion of my day while Christian is at work. I am snappy the last few buttons on Ted's fleece footed pants when the bathroom door opens, revealing a freshly showered and sexily dressed Christian. I love his gray suit and tie, I love that tie.

"Eager to enjoy breakfast out?" He asks pulling his long black overcoat on. He looks even sexier with that on. He rarely wears it at home but I suppose it's cold enough here in Detroit with the snow on the ground. _It really should snow in Seattle more often. _

"I am. Ted's been fed but he can have a nibble of fruit if they have some bananas. Are you all set to go Teddy?" I lift him and pull his knit hat over his baby ears. He jabbers and grins as if in response.

"Well let's get your coat on Mommy and then we'll be ready to go."

I can't help but notice how at ease Christian seems to be this morning. I had suspected the mood would be tense with anxiety in expectancy of what we have planned for this afternoon. I don't choose to dwell on it though. I am glad for the levity of the moment and plan to enjoy it.

**We are seated in** the Astoria Pastry Shop, not too far from our hotel as we are in the heart of Greek town. The décor is rich and beautiful, in neutral tones and deep ruddy shades of red. Christian orders he and I each a slice of spinach pie and a pumpkin muffin. He eats his breakfast with his usual black coffee, skim milk and a touch of sugar. I on the other hand indulge myself with one of their small cappuccino's' and it is delectable. Ted enjoys munching on the tiny bits of muffin we intermittently offer to him.

The bakery is busy, obviously a popular local landmark. Business men and women dressed for work pop in and out more often than not taking whatever baked good they purchased for the morning and their coffee of choice with them. A few ladies remark on how cute my baby is and Teddy being the little charmer that he is gives them his wide two-toothed grin, captivating them even more. Their glimpses in the direction of my husband do not go unnoticed by me; however they no longer affect me. You can stare all you want ladies, he is mine. I think to myself as a trio of women_ ooo_ and _aww _over Ted, shooting a few seductive smiles in Christian's direction. He is polite but not so discreetly takes my hand in his, caressing it with his thumb. This little gesture seems effective at shooing them away. I giggle at him and his eyes dance with amusement as he brings my hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it.

"You needn't worry Mrs. Grey; I am yours and will be forever." He says, locking my gaze with his.

I tear off another bit of muffin and offer it to Ted. "I know. They're just jealous because I am sitting with the two cutest guys in the place. Grey men seem to have the same effect on woman, no matter what their age." Teddy slaps his hands on the table and jabbers in agreement. "I'm going to have to keep my eye on you though young man, already flirting with the ladies." I tell him pinching one of his little rosy cheeks.

"One day he will find his Ana, a woman as wonderful as his Mommy." Christian kisses my hand once more before finishing off the last bite of his pie and feeding the final bit of his muffin to the excited and waiting little mouth beside him.

"Shall we get going? I still need to see you two back to the hotel before going to my meeting."

I gather our trash and watch Christian as he walks to throw it away. "Let's get you all bundled up again little man." I tell Ted putting his jacket and knit hat back on him. The late fall wind here in Michigan has a much harsher bite to it than the one at home. Christian takes Ted from his highchair and slings his bags of his shoulder, sheltering us both from the cold as we dash out the bakery doors and into the waiting SUV.

**Sitting in the chair** by the window in our hotel room I lift my shirt and cuddle a tired Teddy against me. His chubby fingers twist into my long hair while he gurgle and waits impatiently for his before nap nursing. We have two hours before Christian will return to fetch us. I've received one quick text message from him today confirming that he will still be here at two and telling me that his meetings are going as planned. If anything that is a relief, at least work is going well for him, one less thing to plague his mind. Teddy curls his body into mine, propping the bottom of his feet against me and nuzzles to my breast, suckling the moment my nipple is offered to him. The few bites of sweet potato at lunch were not enough to alleviate his hunger.

"You just wanted some of Mommy's milk didn't you sweet boy?" I ask him as he drinks, gazing up at me with his clear gray eyes.

The traffic below is busy with the lunch time rush, people coming and going. I wonder if anyone out there knows the story of Ella Hayes and the little boy she left behind. Is there anyone out there in this city who may hold a key about Christian's past. The thought is both intriguing and unsettling. Are his biological grandparents alive? Did they ever see him? If they did would they know him? Undoubtedly the answer to that question is no. He was only four years old when his mother died. There is little to no chance that he would be recognized now at the age of twenty nine by someone who last saw him when he was three or four years old. Another thought flashes into my mind, unbidden. What about Ted? There are no pictures of Christian when he was a baby Ted's age. What if Ted looks like an exact image of his father at that age, would someone see that and relate the two together? My subconscious glares at me with an, _are you out of your mind,_ expression. There is no way anything of that sort will happen, it's just too absurd.

I finish nursing Teddy and lay him down for a nap. Stretching and yawning I feel tired myself, must be the time difference. I clamber into the large and welcoming bed. I've got about an hour and a half before Christian comes to get us, definitely enough time for a small nap. Pulling the covers over me and my head is barely on the pillow before my eyes close and fall asleep. My last thoughts are repeats of my earlier musings and prayers that this afternoon goes as smoothly as possible.


	13. Chapter 13

*Thank you for all of your reviews, last chapter was the calm before the storm, here is the storm.*

**When my eyes pop **open the red numbers on the bedside clock tell me that I have about twenty minutes before Christian should be arriving to pick Ted and me up. Right on cue my cellphone starts to ring. Fumbling through my sleepy haze I reach for it and nearly drop it before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Ana, Sawyer and I are on our way. I'll be there in ten, baby."

I stifle a yawn. "We'll be ready." We say goodbye and end the conversation quickly. Wrestling myself free from the blankets I rush to the bathroom and freshen myself up before waking my sleeping baby.

The door latch opens exactly ten minutes later. I am busy putting my wrap on so that I can carry Ted close against me to shield him from the cold wind blowing outside. The feeling of tension which is now radiating off of Christian is tangible. Gone is the carefree and lighthearted mood I basked in this morning. It is evident that the reality of this afternoon has now set in. Christian straps Ted into his carrier before helping me to put on my long gray hooded fleece shawl. It is warm and I can wrap Ted and I both in it while I am wearing him.

Our drive to Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery is short and silent. Christian sits in the backseat with me silently brooding to himself as he gazes out his window. I am mindful to give him his space though, not wanting to make him feel cornered. How exactly will we find Ella's grave? The idea of searching through a massive cemetery on a day like today is an unwelcome one.

"I contacted the county records department this morning to find the exact location of the grave." He says suddenly, answering my unspoken question with his answer. "They were able to give me the necessary information."

I wrap my hand around Ted's and only nod in acknowledgement. These are the first words he has truly spoken to me since picking me up from the hotel. The only other things he has said have been short one word commands. Again I don't press him for anything further.

Sawyer turns the SUV right, entering the cemetery gates. We drive through rows lined with deep gray stones, each topped with a tuft of freshly fallen snow. The scene before me is one of eerie purity and peace. The blanket of white provides a stark and cold contrast against the perfectly lined stones. Some are taller than others. A few are surrounded by black wrought iron fences, no doubt those are family plots. Approaching the rear left flank of the sprawling graveyard Sawyer slows the vehicle to a halt. My eyes notice Christian's hands flexing into tight fists as they rest in his lap.

"Sir, this is where the directions you gave me stop." Sawyer's voice is edged with unease.

"Thank you." Christian responds and Sawyer only nods. "Anastasia please put Ted in your wrap so that he stays warm."

I unbuckle Ted's straps as well as my seatbelt and lift him in my arms. I smile and talk soothingly to him while situating him until he is cradled against me. "Put your hat on baby." I tell him pulling his knit hat on his head. Christian exits the SUV and slips his black leather gloves over his hands before closing his door and coming to my side. I step out and he helps me to drape my fleece poncho over myself. I put my gloves on as well before pulling the hood over my head. Teddy is warm against me and sheltered by my shawl. The cemetery is mostly empty, there are a few cars doted around, none are too close in proximity to us however. I feel Christian's arm around my waist.

"This way," he directs me and we begin to walk, my black boots crunching in the snow. He holds me close to him and for that I am glad. His body serves as a shelter for me from the wind. A few stray snow flurries are falling, landing in his copper highlighted dark hair. With his free hand he tightens the black scarf around his neck, keeping his eyes fixed ahead. We cross four rows of gravestones before coming to area he was obviously seeking out. We walk slowly, searching for the grave with his birthmother's name inscribed on it.

Abruptly Christian stops, my eyes shift to the short stone in front of us, reading the writing on the weathered gray stone.

_Ella Lynn Hayes_

_April 30, 1964 – October 15, 1987_

_Thus He has given us, through these things, His precious and very great  
promises, so that through them you may escape from the corruption that  
is in the world because of lust, and may become participants in the divine  
nature. Peter 1:4_

I stand stark still, reading the epitaph adorning the stone repeatedly as if I am trying to engrain it within my mind's eye. Christian's hold around my waist tightens, crushing me against him stronger than before. His grasp is taut and I sense is anxiety pouring off of him and onto me. Someone cared; someone knew Ella and cared enough to have this inscription carved on her gravestone. The deliberation keeps playing over and over again in my mind.

Stealing my eyes away from the sight before I shift them upwards to the man standing beside me, his jaw twinges with tension and I can see a single tear streaking down his cheek. Lifting my hands from where they rest on Ted's back I remove one of my gloves. Turning ever so slightly I face Christian and wipe the tear away with my bare hand, he blanches at the contact before leaning into my touch. I allow him to feel the warmth of my skin against his, he nuzzles my hand and grasps it with one of his gloved hands, holding it to his face.

"I didn't want to feel this Ana." He speaks with a strained voice.

"Feel what?"

"Sadness, melancholy, loss, I can't feel those things for her, I shouldn't." He shakes his head as if trying to rid himself of his emotions.

I can almost feel my heart breaking in two. You can feel this Christian; it's okay to feel these things. She was your mother, she gave you life, and you loved her even if you were only a small child.

Teddy fusses slightly and with my free hand I pat his back, soothing him to quiet. "You are allowed your feelings Christian. Never deny yourself of them."

Without warning he enfolds me in his arms, cradling our son between our bodies. His arms encircling my entire body, his head buried in the crook of my neck. I don't feel any more tears but he breathing is deep and marked. And we stand there, amongst the fallen snow in a field of death, cold from the external and internal conditions but warm from each other's love. I rub my hand over his back, calming him until I feel his breathing pattern slowly return to a steadier, calmer pace.

He pulls back from me and gazes into my eyes. "I think I'm ready to go."

"Me too," I agree solemnly. We take one last look at the stone before turning to retreat back to the waiting SUV, his arm still protectively around my waist.

As we approach the vehicle a small compact white car pulls up behind it, parking. A petite woman, cloaked in a worn black coat emerges from the car and begins walking in our direction. The circumstances are not out of the ordinary in a cemetery but for a reason I cannot grasp an unsettling feeling washes over my body, dread forming in the pit of my stomach. I'm just being silly, I tell myself, trying to talk away the response of trepidation I am having at the sight of this woman. She approaches us and shifts her eyes up from where they have been downcast, concentrating on the snow beneath her feet. She seems to examine us closely in a minute amount of time but never breaks her stride. I breathe a silent sigh of relief, me and my nerves.

We are only five or so steps beyond the woman when I hear a quiet voice, "excuse me, sir?" She calls out quietly from behind us and my heart jumps into my throat.

Christian stops abruptly and turns, turning me with him. The woman removes the hood of her coat from her head revealing shoulder length locks of dark hair, highlighted by streaks of copper. I am forcibly drawn to Christian's side, his fingers flexing so strongly that I can feel them digging into my skin even through my cloak and sweater dress. Seeing that we have stopped she walks towards us cautiously until she is standing only a few feet away.

"Your eyes…" She whispers almost inaudibly. _Oh my God. _"I've seen those eyes before…they are the eyes…the eyes of my sister."

My throat constricts and I can barely find my breath. Christian is stock still, a stone statue standing next to me. "I'm sorry?" I question softly, struggling to get the words out of my mouth.

"My sister…" she repeats. "Who's grave were you here to visit?"

I look up at the man standing beside me; he appears to be in shock, unable to find any words. I have to find them for him. "Ella Hayes." I answer her and watch her hand fly to her throat. Her face has gone pale and tears well up in her gaunt blue eyes.

"Her son…you are her son…yes?"

Finally the spell over Christian breaks and he looks down at me. "Ana?" He questions me and I desperately search for an answer for him, for some words of wisdom, for a way out of this. I am lost.

"Oh, Christian." I say, my eyes brimming with tears. Teddy gurgles beneath the warm fabric and the woman in front of us becomes aware of his presence.

"Christian…you have a baby? You have a family?" Her words are full of longing and regret. This woman did nothing to us, there is no reason to be cruel towards her but finding a path to follow is proving to be impossible. She begins babbling at once, alleviating the need for either one of us to speak. "When Ella died I was only thirteen, our grandmother had taken me in after our parents died in a car accident. I knew about you but I couldn't do anything, I was only a child. Then when I turned sixteen I tried to find you and tried again when I was eighteen but Grandmother passed away that year and I gave up. The adoption records were sealed and there was nothing I could do to find you. Grandmother was so sickly when Ella died, she couldn't take on another child so she never spoke up. Ella was buried here where Mother and Father bought our family plots but we never attended the funeral. Grandmother ordered the headstone a year later…"

The words that are pouring out of her are surreal and I feel like I am floating in another dimension. Surrounded by an imaginary oblivion, this can't be real, this can't be happening. All of the answers Christian has ever had are being answered right here on this frigid November day in the cemetery where his birthmother is buried, only a short distance from her grave.

Without warning Christian speaks, his cold words cutting through the air like a knife. "She was a crack whore."

The woman, his biological aunt who has yet to tell us her name, stops speaking, taken aback by his harsh words. So he continues, "She was a crack whore who did nothing to protect me from her pimp who beat me mercilessly, over and over again. She is nothing to me. She never was anything to me." Pulling me with him he turns to leave, setting a determined stride towards the SUV. My mind is racing and I am trying to piece together my scattered thoughts but I can't.

"She loved you!" The woman calls out, effectively halting Christian. Releasing me he stalks over to her in double time with long purposeful strides and is standing in front of her in mere seconds.

"Loved me?" He shouts. "No, she didn't love me. No parent who loves their child allows that child to bear the unspeakable things which the crack whore felt inclined to bestow upon me."

I have to get to him but Ted is getting cold and fussing. I am torn between which direction I should go. Quickly I turn and run to the SUV, cradling Ted safely the entire way. I sling open the rear door and take him from my wrap, laying him in his carrier. "Sawyer, Roth, I need you to sit with Ted. I have to go to Christian. Please, I'm sorry…I'll be right back."

"Ma'am is everything alright?" Sawyer reaches for his door handle, preparing to exit the vehicle.

"Please, just leave this to me. Please stay with him. He's getting cold and he needs to be in the car." Ted is calmer sitting in his seat. I reach for one of his pacifiers and offer it to him. He takes it from me and I see Sawyer nod in acknowledgement. Closing the door behind me I dash back to where Christian is still standing, face to face with the woman who is a blood relation to him. I need to get to him. The mantra repeats over and over in my head as the cold air burns my lungs. I cannot get to him fast enough.


	14. Chapter 14

Here are the pieces of music which are playing in this scene when I talk about string quartets playings

*String Quartet Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major Johann Sebastian Bach playing while they dine on Moussaka in Detroit. *

*Quintet for Strings in F Major Anton Bruckner Vienna Philharmonia Quintet making love in hotel living room*

The sound of his raised voice resonates throughout the mostly empty graveyard. This woman and new information have brought back a flood of emotions leaving him nearly hysterical. It seems as if my legs cannot move fast enough, like they are leaden and heavy causing me to work harder to run. In only minutes that feel like hours dragged on and on I reach Christian's side again. I grab his arm with both of my hands attempting to bring him back to me and rip him from the dark place he has reverted back to.

"She was a crack whore!" I hear him repeating the same words over and over again. It is as if he has flown into a blind rage triggered by reemerging ghosts from his past.

"Christian stop! Please stop!" His lips abruptly seal and his eyes, gray flashing flint, swing to meet my face. "Please Christian; this woman is not your birthmother. Please give her a chance to speak. She was only a child when your birthmother died, you cannot blame a child for the wrong doings on their sibling." I plead with him desperately, trying to reach him. He is still not speaking but is watching me warily. I shift my eyes to where the woman is still standing in front of us; she is watching him with a guarded expression.

"She was all of those things Christian. She was all of those things but she was so much more before she left home." I am shocked at his biological aunt's revelation and agreement with his accusations. Perhaps now we can begin to find a calmer ground to speak on.

Silence befalls us once again until I speak. "What is your name?"

"Leslie Hayes Stound," she answers shortly.

Removing my hands from where they still grip Christian's arm I step forward and extend a hand to her. "I'm Anastasia Grey, Christian's wife." She takes my offered hand in hers and shakes it; I can't help but notice that her hand is trembling.

"It's nice to meet you Anastasia. So Grey is your last name?" She asks looking at Christian.

I turn back towards him, silently begging him to be thoughtful with this woman. Whatever his birthmother did or didn't do was not the fault of her younger sister.

"Yes." He answers with one word before regarding her silently for a few moments. When he speaks his question surprises me but not much as it is something I have been pondering myself. This entire situation is like a perfect storm. "Why are you here today?"

She casts her eyes downward and is clearly uncomfortable with the question, not quite knowing how to answer. "Today, November 6th is the anniversary of my parent's death. They died thirty years ago today, I was twelve, and Ella was eighteen. They are buried over there." She says motioning to a location not far from Ella's grave.

I feel for this woman before me, having lost her parents at such a young age. My mind cannot help but drift to Ted, the thought of him having to go on without Christian and I is painful beyond expression. My heart wrenches at the notion.

"I know this is all a shock to you Christian, to both of you. Do you live here in Detroit?"

"No, we don't." I answer for him again.

"Oh…" She begins but trails off, seeming unsure of what she wants to say next. "I'm not sure how long you will be here but please know that I would love the chance to speak to you. There is so much I would like to tell you, so many questions I would like to ask. Ella didn't come around often but I can remember holding you when you were a baby and playing with you on Grandmother's kitchen floor. I'm listed in the phone book. Please, if you can find it in your heart, please call me."

Christian nods before stepping forward and wrapping his arm around my waist. I wave to Leslie as we turn to leave; she only waves back, left standing there in shock, watching her lost nephew walk away from her.

"I don't want to talk about it Anastasia." He says once we are back in the SUV isolated from the dreadful cold outside.

"Where to Mrs. Grey?" Sawyer asks me.

"Back the hotel Sawyer, thank you."

Sawyer shifts the vehicle into drive and pulls away from the edge of the narrow drive which winds through the cemetery. A dismal atmosphere hangs over us for the duration of the ride back to the Atheneum. Even Teddy is quiet, not his usual chattering and cooing self. From the moment he was born he and Christian seemed to have an inner bond unlike any other I had ever seen before between a child and their parent. They are so much alike each other and the evidence of that only becomes clearer as Ted grows. Unexpectedly Christian leans over Ted's carrier and cradles one large hand around our son's head; placing his other hand over Ted's body he kisses his forehead softly. A contented sigh escapes Ted's little body as I watch them meld into each other. Cautiously I lift my arm closes to them and place it across Christian's back, touching him, letting him know that I am here for him. He doesn't retract, he only stays where he is, near his son, and I allow them both to find the comfort they both need.

**We spend another evening** tucked away in our hotel suite. Being here in our little corner, protected from the realities of the outside world seems like a better place to be right now as opposed to the other option. Christian orders room service again for dinner and while we wait for its arrival I go back to our bedroom and nurse a very tired Ted. He refused an afternoon nap and his tiredness is beginning to take over. He only wanted his daddy all afternoon. They played and spent time together which allowed me a chance to pull out my laptop and read part of a manuscript.

Sitting on the bed watching Ted nurse I hear Christian's voice from the living area. It sounds like he is on the phone with someone. I listen closely trying to make out who he could be speaking to. Briefly I wonder if he may have called Leslie but then I think, no, he would have talked with me before doing that. Perhaps he is talking with Grace, that would make sense and it might be the best thing for him right now. Grace always seems to help him if I can't. The conversation continues throughout the time I am nursing Ted. He drifts off to sleep after being burped and I lay him down in his pack n' play just as I hear the hotel room door opening, signaling the arrival of our dinner.

Upon entering the living room I see Christian laying our dinner out on the rectangular shaped dining table. The soft strains of a string quartet playing from his iPod fill the room. Offering a tranquil repose from the days strained emotions. He pulls my chair out for me and I sit down. The meal before me makes my stomach complain with hunger and I am grateful when Christian begins serving us, placing a generous portion of Moussaka on each of our plates. Taking the lemon slice from the edge of my water glass I squirt a bit of juice in before having a sip.

"Who were you speaking with on the phone?" I attempt to break the silence between us. Christian hasn't spoken much since we arrived back this afternoon and I am eager to get him talking now that Ted has gone to sleep.

"Flynn." He answers then takes a bite of the divine eggplant and potato dish.

I chew my mouthful of food before speaking further. Flynn, I am so relieved to know he has spoken with Flynn. While I assumed he was speaking with Grace I believe Flynn was the best choice he could have made. I wonder what Dr. Flynn's reaction was when Christian told him about meeting his biological aunt.

"What did he say?"

"Anastasia I really do not wish to talk about this right now."

Oh no you don't Grey, we have come too far and you are not closing me off now. "Christian forgive me but I have not pressed you all afternoon. I have gone out of my way to give you the space I thought you needed but we have to talk about this."

"There is nothing to talk about." He clips.

"I think there is." I retort back at him, refusing to let him cut off this line of discussion.

He sighs and sets done his utensils. "What do you want for me to say Anastasia? That I'm thrilled about what happened this afternoon and I want very much to have a relationship with my biological family whom I know nothing about? Is that what you want?"

"That is not what I want at all. I want you to say what you feel, what you want to say."

He pushes his chair back, standing and walking away from the table. He begins to pace the room, moving back and forth in such a determined manner that he could easily wear a trench into the flooring. I asses him coolly and allow him time to deliberate, not forcing him in anyway. I take another taste of my dinner and sip my water, keeping my eyes trained on him the entire time.

"My rational mind knows what happened had nothing to do with Leslie," he begins. Inwardly I breathe out with relief. That's something at least. "I cannot help the anger I feel though but it is not directed at Leslie. It is with her sister."

Scooting my chair back I stand and move to where he is standing. I place my hands on his arm and he stops his pacing. His gaze searches mine. "What do I do Ana? God what should I do?"

"What did Flynn suggest?"

"He said I should go see Leslie and that it may bring peace to her and me. He told me that it is not necessary to begin a family relationship with her and that I should only do that if I feel comfortable, when or if that will even happen is not important right now. He explained that she could be feeling the same sense of betrayal and loss that I feel because she lost her sister and her nephew due to a situation that was not of her choosing."

Thank God for Flynn. I move in front of Christian and carefully put my hands on his chest. I can feel the beating tattoo of his heart beneath my right hand and I curl my fingers against the white linen of his dress shirt, feeling his warmth. "That sounds like very good advice." I whisper quietly keeping his eyes locked with mine. "We could call her tomorrow." I offer.

He nods before speaking. "I have meetings in the morning but my afternoon is free. Ana, you and Ted, you will go with me?" His words are that of a statement but his tone is full of questioning.

"Of course we will go with you Christian."

He cups my face with his hands, placing one on each of my cheeks. "I need you Anastasia. I need you so much right now. I feel like I've been cut in two."

Tears brim my eyes and through my blurred vision I see the reflection of tears in his too. "Then let me heal you Christian."

Without another word I raise my arms for him and he lifts my sweater dress from the bottom hem just below my knee, lifting it over my head before grasping the bottom of my black satin slip and removing it in the same manner. Standing before him in my black satin bra, panties, stockings and garter I feel beautiful and I know I can mend his pain. He makes quick work of removing his own clothing until he is standing in front of me completely naked. Cautiously I repeat a gesture I have not done since so long ago. I take two steps until we are nearly flush against each other and lean my head down so that my lips are level with his chest. Gingerly I press a kiss to one of his scars. I feel his hand tangle in my hair tenderly and he does not pull me away, so I press another and then another, until I have kissed every single scar that blemishes his beautiful skin.

His hands travel down my back, unclasping my bra and allowing it to fall to the floor. Standing straight I look into his eyes, watching him as he deftly unhooks the straps of my garter from my stockings before slipping it and my panties down to my ankles. His lips move down my body as my panties and garter travel to the floor. I grasp his shoulders to support myself as I step out of my undergarments one foot at a time. Next are my stockings and I am surprised at my own balance when I point my toes, allowing him to remove my rolled down stockings with ease. I am completely naked before him and he lifts me into his arms, carrying me to the oversized sofa.

I notice that the music has changed to another stringed instrument piece, but this one is slower, begging for a leisurely pace to be taken. Following the cue of the music surrounding us Christian positions is body over mine gracefully moving his hands he brushes them over my skin almost as if they were paintbrushes creating a masterpiece. In my mind's eye I see them has they play the piano, how they move to manipulate the keys so flawlessly, much like he maneuvers and controls my body. His fingers touch my nipples, tracing perfect circles around them until they are rigid and taut for him. My hands find his hair and tangle in his unruly locks while his tongue repeats the same motion of his fingers before his mouth encloses over me and he begins to suckle. This is so intimate, so erotically beautiful. He only lingers for a few moments before giving the same devotion to my other breast. Never moving hurriedly, always being attentive and taking his time.

When he is satisfied I find myself panting and sore with need for his body. The music begins to crescendo and I cannot help but feel the same inside, yearning for him. My body arches off of the sofa and I wrap my legs around his waist, crossing my ankles against his beautiful backside.

"Please Christian…" I beg him breathlessly.

His lips move to mine and his kiss cherishes me while he pushes his hardness into my softness. "Fuck…Ana…Oh…Ana…" He mumbles moving his face so that it is nuzzled into my neck and my long chestnut locks.

Christian sets a rhythm of long strokes, keeping with the music which is still playing in the background. My body swells and accepts each of his movements with voracious eagerness and I hold him. I cling to him tightly, holding him to my body so securely that I can feel his every breath, his every heart beat and I am sure that he can feel mine. His body begins to go rigid and I know he is close.

"Ana, baby please…come." He growls against my neck but I am not close to coming and I know he needs to. His body is craving its release.

"Christian it's okay…just let go…fill me with yourself. I want to feel you Christian." I tell him holding one hand across his broad shoulders, which are sheened with sweat, and the other hand at the back of his head, tangled in his hair.

"Ana…please"

"For you…Christian…my body is for you…give yourself to me." And with my words I feel his body tense inside of mine and his muscles strain above me. Silently without a word or a sound he releases himself deep inside of me. The purest form of pleasure and love envelope us, securing us both in their hold and in an unbreakable bond.


	15. Chapter 15

So several were concerned that Ana did not climax in the last chapter...so this one is a little shorter than the others have been but I think you will ALL find it very ummm...satisfying ;) After this will be a much longer chapter as we go to visit his aunt.

Enjoy~

**Our entangled bodies gleam** with moisture and we both are struggling to bring our rapid breathing back under control. Slowly I feel Christian's trembling cease against me and after a few minutes he lifts his head from where it has been burrowed at my neck to stare into my blue eyes, overflowing with devotion.

"Baby, let me take care of you now." He whispers roughly running his fingers along my jawline.

The corners of my mouth turn up into a shy smile as I return his gesture, tracing his lovely face with my fingertips. "Being with you is all I need Christian, please don't worry about me. You always take care of me. Let me take care of you just this once."

His lips capture mine in a tender kiss which lingers on and on. Touching and tasting me, my lips, and my tongue. I love the way he tastes. "I will always take care of you my wife." He pulls away just a fraction and tucks a piece of stray hair behind my ear before sliding down my body. I scoot up the sofa, propping myself on the pillows so that I am inclined ever so slightly, giving him easier access to the part of me which he desires the most. "Watch me Anastasia. Watch me make love to your body with my mouth." My inner goddess has her head thrown back in ecstasy and I must admit that I am not far behind her.

My breath hitches when I see his head dip between my legs. Before touching my sex he lifts my leg which is propped on the seat of the sofa and opens me wider to him by placing my foot on the top of the back cushions. He moves my other leg so that my foot is flat on the floor between the sofa and the chocolate colored wooden coffee table. My body is broadly spanned before him and I feel myself panting with anticipation.

"You are dripping for me Anastasia." He says before standing abruptly and leaving the room. I don't have much time to wonder where he went before he is back holding a crisp white hand towel in his hands. He kneels between my legs. "Lift your bottom baby and let me put this under you."

_Oh,_ good thinking. That is something I most definitely would not have thought of. Compliantly I lift my bottom and he slides the soft towel between me and the brunet fabric.

"I'm going to ravage your body until you think you cannot possibly come anymore and when I'm finished…you're going to come again because you are my wife and I take care of what's mine."

Wow, this is definitely not the broken man I held in my arms not long ago, he is still so mercurial at times. I'm not sure if that will ever change and then again I'm not sure that I ever would want it to change. I love him the way he is and would never change him. I only want for him to be sure of my love for him. I nod and swallow hard before he breaks his gaze with mine and begins doing just what he said he would do, make love to me with his mouth.

First he blows up and down the length of my sex, his breath is warm and the heat engulfs me, taking every logical thought from my mind and casting it to the four winds. Then I feel his tongue softly licking me, running up and down in a vertical motion. I try to move my legs to prop my feet on his shoulders. Being open like this is only serving to heighten the sensations and I am not sure how long I can endure it. Suddenly I feel a sharp stinging bite against my core.

"Legs back where I had them." He admonishes me, growling against my skin and I know he means it. Quickly without question I comply and his tongue lavishes the freshly bitten skin. "There…There…" He croons softly, soothing the throb. I whimper out loud and grasp the throw pillows behind my head, grasping them so tightly in my hands that I fear I may rip them to shreds. "Let me hear you Ana, I love to hear what I do to your body."

_Ah!_ I cry out when I feel his tongue thrust deep inside of me. He encircles my opening before lapping every ounce of moisture he can. My legs begin to quaver and I can feel the impending tremor building deep inside of me. He moves his mouth to suck my core and I explode mindlessly again and I again. Crying out for him to stop, for him to never stop, I'm not sure what I want him to do. I only know that I never want for this feeling to end. Orgasm after orgasm racks my body. Without warning he sharply nips me again with his teeth and my cries cease.

"Hush now," He commands before beginning the routine again. Blow, lick, suck, it is maddening and delicious at the same time. He devastates my body while bringing it to heights that I can only reach when I am with him. My body soars once more, instantaneously erupting into a thousand tiny pieces which he feasts on with his tongue. My eyes are closed the tight, I can hear music faintly and feel him wholly.

He moves his mouth away from my body and I feel his fingers, testing me and stretching me. "Open your eyes Anastasia. I'm going to make you come again."

My eyelids fight to stay sealed from the dim light provided by the sconces adorning the walls. I flutter them open and see him staring at me intensely. His gray eyes burning like the hottest of flames. "Chri…Christian…" My voice trembles. "I…I can't do it, not anymore. Please." I beg.

"You can and you will." With that declaration he flicks his two fingers deeply, voraciously against my wall and I detonate.

"Christian!" I call out his name, it is more of a shriek that a cry. My body pulsates again and I again as he wrings every last ounce of my orgasm from my body.

I am left a pile of mush on the sofa, softly mewling and unable to move. Involuntarily my eyes close again and I do not have the energy to open them. I make the slightest move when I feel his lips gently kiss the apex of my thighs in reverence. "So beautiful," he whispers then he is gone. The sound of water running meets my ears and I feel his arms wrapping around me. He lifts me to his chest. "Bath Mrs. Grey." It is not a question but a command which I am all too happy to comply with.

"Hmmmm…" I only murmur. If I had the energy I would find the words to agree. A hot bath sound heavenly after the love making we have both just endured from one another.

Carefully Christian lowers me into the deep marble bath. The water jets out on all sides of me, massaging me into an even more relaxed state. I feel him join me, moving me so that I am lying between his legs, my back to his front. I flutter my eyelids open finally and smile. He kisses the top of my head and wraps me tightly to him.

"I love you Ana." He whispers.

I sigh and lean back against him, feeling him and relishing the afterglow of the evening, an evening of connecting in the deepest way possible for us. The pure elation I feel as his wife and having him as my husband is indescribable. I know we can get through these next few days; there is no doubt in my mind because we are together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Christian nuzzles me awake** and I hear baby gurgles and cries near my ear. The early morning sun is filtering through the cracks around the edges of the heavy drapes which cover our hotel bedroom window. I slept so heavily last night that my body is stiff, I don't think I changed positions at all. Thinking back to our evening on the sofa I smile remembering why I feel so used, pleasantly used.

"Our son is ready for breakfast Mommy." Christian says softly sitting down on the bed beside me. He is holding a restless Ted in his arms. I turn over and pull down the sheet revealing my breasts and Christian lays him down. Needing no assistance my baby boy latches right on to nurse, curling himself against my body. I giggle at him and stroke his fine wisps of copper hair which are just beginning to curl at the nape of his neck. Christian's hand joins mine and together we cradle our son to my body.

"I've ordered room service for breakfast. There are a variety of items on the dining table for you to choose from. I've already eaten baby and I need to get going. I will be back around two."

"Did you call Leslie?"

"I have found her phone number and will call her on the way to my morning meetings."

I'm a bit shocked at the fact that he is choosing to call her by himself. Perhaps he just needs to this on his own though. I don't attempt to delve any further for more information. Just making the decision to call his birthmother's sister is a huge step and I want to do everything I can to support him. He leans down to kiss me, allowing his lips to linger on mine for a few seconds.

"I enjoyed last night." He whispers seductively.

"Enjoyed does not even begin to describe how immensely I felt about last night." I whisper back. "Call me after you talk to Leslie?"

"I will baby, I love you."

I tell him I love him too and he kisses Ted before leaving the room. His footsteps echo across the hotel room before I hear the heavy door open and close behind him.

"Well it's just you and me again today Teddy." I sigh. I know Christian wants us to be safe and stay in the hotel room when he is not with us but boredom is beginning to set in. The idea of staying here again today is an unappealing one. I don't want to break Christian's trust though. I can't help but sulk to myself silently. Not much time is allowed for my inner thoughts before my cell phone begins to ring. I unlatch Ted momentarily which warrants a cry from him as I reach behind me to the nightstand for my phone. I settle him back to nursing before answering the call. I see from the screen that it is Grace calling.

"Hello?"

"Ana, I hope this is a good time to call." I hear quiet distress in her voice and wonder if Christian has called her.

"It's fine Grace, I'm just feeding Ted."

"I can let you go if you need me too."

"No, please I promise. I can talk now. I am just lying down and allowing Ted to nurse."

I hear her blow out a puff of breath and I know something is bothering her. Christian has definitely called her about what happened yesterday in the cemetery.

"Christian called me late last night Ana…" She begins. I had no idea that he left bed last night. I must have really been exhausted. I understand him wanting to talk to his mom but I worry because he was obviously still upset after our time together. _He may have just needed to tell his mother, _my subconscious corrects me. Okay, yes that may be true. I might just be jumping to conclusions.

"He did?" I ask quietly.

"He told me about what happened at the cemetery, he actually sounded well and confident in his decision to see his biological aunt. What I need to know is…how is he doing really Ana? You are there with him and I know from firsthand experience that Christian is very talented at hiding his true feelings to me. I worry about him and how this could all be affecting him."

Right away I feel like I could be betraying Christian's trust by speaking with Grace about this but then on the other hand he did call her and she is only a mother worried about her son. I decide to talk to her, she is his mom and I love her so much. "When we first saw Leslie and she told us who she was he did not handle it well. He began to meltdown and fall apart but he finally recovered control of himself. He was never happy with her revelations but he listened to what she had to say. He is calling her this morning and will call me after he speaks with her. He hopes to go see her today. We talked about it last night, I refused to let him shut down again and he didn't. He called Flynn as well."

"Oh Ana, I'm so glad he has you and I am so glad he called Flynn. That's good. That's so good." The relief in her voice is palpable.

"Grace, I feel like anything Leslie can give him will be hard for him to digest at first but will help him find the peace he needs."

"You are the peace he needs Ana. Without you my darling daughter-in-law he would not be where he is today. You and my beautiful grandson, please kiss him for his grandma."

"I will," I tell her smiling.

"I will let you get back to Ted now. Thank you for everything, goodbye."

"Goodbye, Grace."

Pulling the phone from my ear I hit end and let it fall the bed beside Teddy. "Grandma sends her love and a kiss baby boy." I tell him and then give him a kiss from Grace.

I hope Christian will call his mother should we go see Leslie. I know she is anxious for him and I understand her feelings. My stomach is tied in knots waiting for his phone call. As if on cue my phone rings again, it is Christian. Our phone call is a short one. He tells me about calling his biological aunt; we will meet her at her house around two. I thought this phone call would alleviate some of my stress but it has only served to heighten it. This afternoon will be a turning point in my husband's life, so much will be revealed and so many of the feelings he has harbored towards his birthmother may forever change after this meeting.

**Large trees pass on** either side of us, lining the concrete slab road as well as the sidewalks. We are driving through a typical middle class neighborhood. The homes remind me of the houses on my street in Oregon where I lived with Ray after Mom married husband number three. They aren't big houses by any means but they are nice and yards are clean and well kept. Christian picked Ted and I up just before two and the drive to Clawson, a suburb of Detroit, has taken us just under an hour with traffic. Sawyer stops the SUV in front of a half brick, half vinyl siding home. The color of the vinyl is sage green with the door being a darker shade of the same color. A large picture window is beside the door, no doubt looking into the living room. The driveway to the right side of the home is a narrow one and ends at a one car garage.

Sawyer announces the address and Christian nods before telling him that we have arrived at the right destination. "Please wait here Sawyer; I'm not sure how long we will be."

"That's fine sir."

I draw in a deep breath of air readying myself for what is to come. "Ready?" I ask Christian grasping his hand in mine across Ted's carrier.

"Yes." He says setting his mouth in a firm line. We both open our doors and I walk behind the vehicle to stand beside Christian as he lifts Ted from the car. He quickly secures Ted in his wrap against me then covers Ted and me by draping my gray cloak around my shoulders, covering us both from the chill. We walk together with Ted and I tucked safely at Christian's side. Our feet crunch through the snow until we reach the shoveled cement path leading to the front door.

Christian pushes the dimly lit white circle and I hear a doorbell chime inside the house. For a brief second what sounds like a small dog barks but he is quickly hushed and obviously moved away from the door by the sound of shuffling coming from the other side. Slowly the door opens and the same petite woman who met us in the graveyard yesterday stands smiling on the other side. She brushes a stray strand of her long copper hair, which has come loose from her pony tail, behind her ear.

"Christian, Anastasia, please come in." She smiles but I know by the waver in her voice that she is nervous.

We walk into a modest but brightly lit living room. "Please have a seat." Leslie says motioning to the overstuffed brown love seat positioned along the back wall.

"Thank you," I say returning her nervous smile and sit before Christian sits beside me.

"My husband, Greg, is home but I thought we might all be more comfortable if we could talk in private."

Christian nods in acceptance and I am relieved. This situation is strained enough without furthering our audience. I notice a fine china tea set adorning the coffee table. Leslie picks up the teapot and pours three cups full of steaming hot tea. "Would either of you like tea?"

"Yes, please." I say.

"Cream or sugar?" She asks.

"None for me." I tell her and finally Christian speaks up telling her he'd like a small spoonful of sugar in his.

With shaky hands Leslie prepares our tea before handing us the cups. Meanwhile Christian removes my wrap, allowing it to rest on the loveseat behind me. Ted's gray eyes search my face and he cranes his head around side to side trying to take in all of the new sights.

"He's beautiful." Leslie says indicating with her head in Ted's direction.

"Thank you, his name is Ted. Well, Theodore but we call him Ted or Teddy." I smile down at my baby; I cannot help but be proud of him.

With love in his eyes Christian caresses Ted's head, causing his son to jabber and coo at him.

"He looks just like you did when you were a baby Christian." Leslie interjects and I feel Christian tenses instantly. Her voice is wistful and hesitant; I know she is unsure of her words and how they might affect her biological nephew. Thankfully she continues on, not undaunted by his reaction which is what she needs to be, otherwise he may not be as apt to hear her out. "Would you like to see a picture of yourself when you were your son's age?" She asks opening a small ceramic box which I had not noticed until now perched on top of the coffee table.

Gently she lifts a three by five photograph from the box and holds it out for Christian. I notice his hands are now shaking slightly as he reaches out to take the picture, bringing it between us so that I may view it too. This photograph is the perfect reflection of our son. He appears to be only six months old if not younger in this photo and is wearing a bright yellow footed onesie with a small yellow duck embroidered on the top.

"You were just six months old. You were crawling on the kitchen floor at Grandmother's house in this picture. You can't see me but I am behind Grandmother, she is the one who took the picture. You were crawling to me."

My eyes fill with tears and I have to turn my face to wipe them away with my fingers so that I don't drop one on the picture. I watch him turn the photo over and look at the faded scrawled writing on the back.

_Baby Christian crawling at Grandmother's_

_November 1983_

He was just a month older than Teddy is now when this picture was taken. Holding it in his hands as if it were the most delicate of papyrus paper and may crinkle into a million tiny pieces at any moment I watch Christian turn it back over to stare at the infant reflection of himself.

"What would you like to know Christian? Please tell me what pieces I can help to fill in for you." Leslie quietly pleads with him. I know she wants to tell him so much but is afraid of upsetting him again and causing him to lose control like he did at the cemetery.

As a silent gesture of support I place my hand on Christian's knee and squeeze it reassuringly, letting him know that I am here for him. He lifts his gaze from the photo, bringing his eyes to mine. I smile and offer wordless encouragement. I see him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in a marked motion before he opens his mouth to speak.

"I suppose you could start at the beginning…" He says feeling unsure of himself.

"Okay…" Leslie takes another sip of her tea before setting her cup and saucer down on the coffee table in front of her. She places her hands in her lap and I watch her begin the nervous gesture of pushing back the cuticles on her fingernails while she speaks. "Your birthmother, Ella, became pregnant with you in the fall of 1982. Your birthfather, Greg, was her high school boyfriend. She had graduated that spring and had started classes at the community college."

I eye Christian cautiously as she speaks, looking for any sign of emotion, but he remains stone faced, listening to her story intently.

"The pregnancy was unplanned and Greg split as soon as he found out. It left Ella devastated." She pauses and casts her eyes downward, seemingly choosing her next words carefully. "Ella was willing to do anything at that point to win Greg back but our parents wouldn't let her. Mother and Father, Lynn and Richard, were devout Catholics and raised us in a strict Catholic home. Ella was told that she had two options, give the baby up for adoption or keep it. Mother and Father passed away when she was two months pregnant. Their death coupled with the unplanned pregnancy sent her spiraling out of control. Through a friend at school she hooked up with Greg again and convinced him that she was giving the baby up for adoption which brought him back into the picture until you were born. When she saw you…she couldn't give you away so she brought you home. At this time home was at Grandmother's house where we were now living. The first few months were good. She went back to school, Grandmother helped her with you and so did I. As much as a young girl can."

She looks up from her fingernails and I see the tears pricking the backs of her eyes. She reaches for a tissue from the box on the end table beside her and dabs her eyes. "Go on…" I urge her quietly. Christian is still stoically silent and still.

"After your first birthday passed Ella began disappearing. I remember hearing Grandmother saying that she was seeing 'that Greg boy again' and how he was 'bad news', but I never truly knew why until later. This went on for the next two years. Most of the time you were only with us, my sister would show up for a few months and be in and out but then she would leave again and stay gone for what seemed like forever. I remember that she wasn't the same person anymore once she started seeing Greg again. Her mood swings were awful and I was glad when she was gone. After your third birthday she and Grandmother had a huge fight, yelling, screaming, it was an awful nightmare. It was then that I realized Ella was doing, heroine mostly I think but I'm not sure. I heard Grandmother threaten to call that authorities and that is when it happened. That night she took you and left. Grandmother and I reported it but because she was not a minor and was your mother there wasn't much the police were willing to do."

Tears begin pouring and streaming down Leslie's face. "We tried so hard to find you but we couldn't. Grandmother's health began detoriating soon after Ella left, I have no doubt that the stress my sister put on her had everything to do with it. Months went by with no word from Ella until a knock at the door came on a very cold and blustery fall afternoon. Two police officers were there. I opened the door; Grandmother was in a wheel chair by that time. They told us that a woman identified as Ella Lynn Hayes had died from an apparent drug overdose, leaving behind her four year old child. What was left of Grandmother I believe died in that very moment. She lived to see my eighteenth birthday but that was only by a miracle, she was never same from that day on. She arranged with the state for you to be put in foster care and to be put up for adoption. At the age of thirteen I could not care for you and she knew what she had of her life would not be long. She cried when she made the decision, it broke her heart. We never saw you again because Grandmother said that would only make her choice harder. As awful as this will sound, thankfully Greg was dead from his own apparent overdose, so he was not an obstacle to her in giving you the family you so desperately deserved."

Christian grasps my hand in his and squeezes it so tightly that I fear my circulation may be cut off. "What was your Grandmother's name?" He asks, his voice is so hoarse from unshed tears that I can scarcely understand his words.

"Hannah was her name." Leslie answers. "She was an amazing woman, caring, loving, compassionate. She would have taken you if she could have Christian. I tried to find you several times but never could. Even Grandmother tried because she wanted to know how you were and if a good family had adopted you but the records were sealed…Do you have a good family Christian?"

He looks down at Ted and grazes his baby soft head with a gentle kiss before raising his eyes to meet mine. "I do, my parents, my brother and my sister, they are…they are my family…and now my wife and my son…" His voice breaks and tears begin to fall from his sad gray eyes. I lift my hand and wipe them away with my thumbs, feeling my own eyes well with tears.

"I'm so glad Christian; we only ever wanted the best for you. We never knew what all went on when you were gone with Ella. Grandmother only cried at the thoughts of the horrific nightmares you must have endured. I pray that you find it in your heart to forgive me for not being able to save you from whatever you went through as a young child."

"You gave me the best, and there is nothing to forgive. You didn't know it wasn't you. He says turning his face to Leslie.

I cannot help but feel as if a wall has been broken down. Only the rubble remains, smaller pieces cast off to the sides. The mystery and pain have been overcome by stories of light and love. The darkness of his time before his birthmother's death is still there but now he knows that his childhood was not all blackness and despair. There were good times too. Happy times in the home of his grandmother and his aunt. Now I am glad for this trip to Detroit because without it this part of Christian may have never been healed.


	17. Chapter 17

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! For all of your reviews. So many of you wrote that you had tears in your eyes while reading the last chapter. I am so thrilled that it moved you so deeply. I must admit having read these books 10+ times I am rather invested in these characters myself. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter just as much as the last.***

As we are standing to leave and Christian is helping to cloak Ted and I with my wrap he asks Leslie something which takes me by surprise. He asks her if she could give him the address of his Great Grandmother's house where he spent the first three years of his life. She recites the address from memory and quickly writes it down for him on a piece of note paper. I watch as she struggles with an unnamed emotion, I swear it looks as if she is having an inner conflict. Finally she takes a deep breath and bends down to open the box on the coffee table one more time, seemingly having made a decision as to whatever she was pondering.

"Here," She says to Christian handing him an overstuffed white envelope. She's chewing her bottom lip pensively and I can see the hesitation written all over her face. "I put these together when you called this morning, it's not much, but it's something."

Christian looks confused and goes to open the envelope but Leslie stops him. "Please, you don't have to look right now. Give yourself some time to decide if you want to see them, if not please send them back to me. I've written my address on the envelope if you choose to return them. They are pictures of Grandmother and you, you and me and a few of you with Ella."

He halts his hand and his eyes dart down to the stuffed packet he is holding. He nods and places it in his inside coat pocket. I thank Leslie for having us and she tells us both how glad she is that we came. She touches Ted's baby head and her hand lingers there for a long moment. "So much like your father," She whispers.

It is then that a thought occurs to me, Leslie has not mentioned having any children. I don't want to pry so I don't. I can't help but wonder though why it appears that she has no children of her own. We finish saying our goodbyes and make our way to the SUV where Sawyer and Roth are waiting. Looking up and down the quiet street I muse, this is the kind of lifestyle Christian was born too. He was adopted by wealthy socialite parents and has worked hard for everything he has but this kind of life was his beginning. A simple middle class family and home, much like my own. Christian instructs Sawyer to drive to the address Leslie gave to him and we head back into the direction of downtown Detroit.

**It is early evening **when we arrive back at the hotel. Seeing his Grandmother's house did not seem to trigger any memories for Christian but it did not muddle things up either. The house was a small two story home in town. The neighborhood appeared to be an older one, run down and in need of love. We only drove by because Ted was beginning to fuss, needing to be fed and changed. Silently I think it may have given him resolve though, he now knows he was loved and lived in a home with family who loved him during his first years of life.

Christian uncloaks Ted and me upon entering our room before removing his own coat and hanging them both in the closet near the door. I am happy to be out of the cold November weather.

"I'll change him." He says taking Ted from my arms after I have disentangled him from my wrap.

Teddy fusses from discomfort the entire way to the bedroom but once he is quiet I know that his daddy is tending to his needs and will be a happier baby upon returning to my arms to be fed. I take the initiative to order something for dinner from room service while my boys are in the other room. I flip on the desk lamp and reach for the menu near the phone. After making my selections I call to place the order, it will be up in half an hour. Just enough time to feed Ted.

I sit on the couch and open my shirt and am situating myself when they renter the room. Christian lays Ted in my arms, helping me to adjust him, before going to the closet and taking the white envelope from his coat pocket. He comes to sit beside me and begins running his fingers along the edges. I look over at him, he has taken off his navy blazer and his white dress shirt is rolled up to his elbows. To the naked untrained eye he looks casual but I can see the anxiety brewing just below the surface.

"You can wait to open it Christian. Take as long as you need."

He glances as me contemplatively, bringing his lips together in a firm line. "I think I'm ready Ana. Everything that has happened today has been…a revelation."

Teddy grunts at me, complaining slightly about his positioning. I oblige him and lift him a bit higher in my arms. He holds onto my breast and begins to lightly knead his fingers against my skin. "Is that better baby boy?" I smile at him and he coos back at me. I click my tongue at him and he giggles while still holding fast to me and nursing. The laughter I am eliciting from him is infectious. I love his baby giggles. Christian is watching us with his own smile adorning his beautiful face.

"You're so good with him." He tells me beaming at the sight of Ted and I's interaction. "I wonder if…" He begins but trails off.

"Go ahead Christian…you wonder?" I prompt him.

"I wonder if my birthmother was ever with me like you are with Ted. If she ever played with me and made me laugh. I don't remember laughing with her; I only remember the hunger and the pain." The corners of his eyes crinkle with sorrow and my heart squeezes tightly in my chest. _Oh Christian._

"There's only one way to find out."

He traces the envelope once more, his long fingers creasing the edges perfectly. Then he lifts the tab which is merely tucked inside of the envelope. I watch as he pulls out several photographs. They are all the same size as the one Leslie gave him when we were at her house. No doubt they are simply family photos taken by a simple camera. The first picture is of him with a young girl, presumably Leslie. She is sitting on a rust orange colored sofa holding a tiny newborn baby in her arms, Christian. Her beaming smile meets the camera head on and you can see the pride in her face as she holds her new nephew. He holds it up to look at before moving it to the back of the stack. The next photo is Leslie again, this time she is holding his hands in hers as he walks, with her help, through a grassy back yard. Another person is standing in the background but that part of the picture is blurred and although I can't quite make out who the other person is my stomach lunges to my throat with probability.

He passes through a few more photographs, many more with Leslie and a few of his Great Grandmother holding him. In some of those he is a young infant but in most he is a toddler. Finally he comes to a picture which knocks the breath out of my lungs. A beautiful young girl with mousy brown hair plastered to her face from sweat is giving a tired smile to the person taking the picture. She is holding up a very newborn baby for the camera to witness. They are lying in a hospital bed and the baby's face is pink and scrunched, his lips are perfectly pouted and he has piercing grey eyes.

"That's her." He whispers disbelievingly running his fingers delicately over the aged photograph. "That's me." He turns the picture over and I read the writing on the back.

_Baby Christian and Ella, Mommy_

_Born June 18, 1983 3:13pm_

_7lbs 6oz 21 inches long_

Subtly as if in a knee jerk reaction he puts the picture down, releasing it as if it has caught fire and singed his fingertips. He allows the others to fall to the floor at his feet. Scattering like confetti from a bucket which has just been dump upside down they flutter, landing on the carpet. His sudden movement shocks me and instantly he is on his feet walking with determination to the bedroom. _Give him a minute to process_; my subconscious rebukes me not to jump to conclusions. He doesn't need rescuing he needs time. So I sit with Ted and continue talking to him, hoping the joyous sound of his jabbering will meet his father's ears and bring him back to the here and now.


	18. Chapter 18

***So glad you are all enjoying reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. Thank you for all of your sweet reviews and kind words. I read every single on of them and try to write back to several of you every time. I love you all. *******

A knock at the door signals that our room service has arrived. With Ted propped on my hip I open the door and stand back, allowing the waiter to enter. He lays our food out for us on the table while I reach for my purse and grab out a tip to give him. He graciously accepts it and bids me a good evening. I thank him and close the door behind him. It has been close to half an hour since Christian left the room and he still has not come back. I am torn as to what I should do next and I wonder what he is doing. Has he called Flynn again or perhaps Grace? With Ted still on my hip I decide to seek him out. After a few quiet raps on the door I hear his voice, "Come in," he calls to me.

Slowly I open the door and see him sitting in the chair beside the window. He is merely sitting there, gazing out the window at the busy street below. The sun has set, lighting the city up with traffic lights, headlights, taillights, store fronts and pedestrian signs. I only imagine the sounds of the bustle outside; the inside is quiet, the only sounds being the thoughts in our own heads.

"Dinner is here." I say moving to the side of the bed nearest to him. Tentatively I sit down on the edge of it, keeping Ted in my arms.

"You should go eat. I know you're hungry after nursing him." His eyes are still fixed on the view before him, unmoving in my direction. The tone of voice he uses is cold and detached with no emotion.

My eyes scan the room, looking, searching for any signs or clues as to what he may have been doing in here. He may just have been sitting in the chair, frozen in this spot with his memories. Teddy looks up at me and gurgles, I kiss the top of his head and smile at him, letting him know I hear him.

"There was a picture of my third birthday party…" He begins; still his tone is cleansed of feeling. "I don't remember the entire scenario but after seeing that picture I can see flashes of it in my mind. The picture of me walking through the yard, I remember that yard, bits and pieces of it. I've never been able to conjure up these memories before Ana, why?" He looks at me lost gray eyes, searching for some absolution, and some explanation as to why he lost what few good memories he had but was able to recall the nightmares so vividly.

"Pictures and places are very powerful elements of suggestion Christian. You were so young…"

"But the nightmares, I remember things in the nightmares."

"You haven't for so long though, they have been scarce if not almost absent. Maybe that is making room for good memories to seep in."

"I don't want good memories. I have a family and I don't need another one."

Stubborn Fifty is definitely making a show. Being here and learning what he has brought back shades of his past, gray areas which never entirely disappeared but only faded until they were nearly forgotten. Now with this new knowledge they are resurfacing and becoming brighter in color, they are not bathed in blazing light yet but slowly they are emerging to the forefront of his mind. He doesn't want to remember but his psyche is not offering him another choice.

I stand and walk to Ted's playpen, laying him down on his tummy to play with a few of his rattle toys. He coos and grabs at them, delighting in their noises and motions. I place a kiss in the palm of my hand then press it to the top of his head before moving back to where Christian is still sitting. Aware of my movements and what I am trying to convey to him I choose to kneel before him. I need him to connect with me. I place my hands on his knees, he is watching me fixedly, his eyes hesitant but determined all at the same time. He doesn't have conviction in his words, I know he is lost and grasping for something to either validate his words or to tear them down completely, and call them ridiculous.

"You have a family Christian and nothing will ever take that away from you." I tell him, holding him with my will. Determination is my guide, determination to make him know that there is room for more family in his life. His aunt does not deserve to be punished for the wrongs of her sister. "Leslie can only add to your family, she can never take away what you already have."

I watch his jaw shifting, working back and forth with tension in the shadows cast by the bedside lamp. The flashes of light from the street below reflect on the glass and on the walls behind him. He turns his head to the side, away from me, and surveys the world below him once more. "You don't understand Anastasia. When I let Leslie in all of those things become reality…"

"And if you lock her out then you lock it out and none of it ever happened?" I say finishing his thought but questioning his logic.

His eyes swing to meet mine and I know I have hit the proverbial nail on the head. "What has happened did happen and what will happen, will happen. There is nothing you can do to rewrite the past Christian; you can only decide how you will handle what happens in the future. Locking your biological aunt out of your life and punishing her for the sins of her sister is not the answer."

"Then what is the answer Anastasia?" He asks raising his voice. His tone is marked with agitation now. He is becoming gruff with me and I know it only goes back to his frustration with himself.

"I can't answer that Christian," I tell him shaking my head and rising from my place on the floor. "Only you can."

I pad quietly out of the room and pull the door closed behind me, leaving him with his thoughts and our son. From time to time, being with his child has the ability to bring Christian out of himself. It stops his selfishness and forces him to think of others. I almost smirk to myself at this thought; Ted has being doing that since before he was born. Having a child put numerous things in perspective for Christian and it continues to.

**Hours later I have **eaten dinner, put away Christian's food and cleaned up the dining table. I have sat on the couch and read. I have even watched some mindless trash TV. The sounds from the bedroom have been few, only Teddy's jabbering could be heard and he has been quiet for some time. Christian has probably already rocked him and he is asleep, his little tummy full from his feeding earlier. I know he will wake me up tonight for more but I won't mind. I never mind. All of the lights are off and the flickering of the TV as I flip through the channels illuminates the room. I hear the door knob click softly and turn. Christian walks out and stops for a moment when he sees me. Instantaneously I flip the television off, cloaking us both in darkness. I blink my eyes and they finally begin to adjust to the dark. I see the shadow of him still standing stark still in the doorway. It's as if he is afraid to move closer.

"Come sit by me." I whisper to him.

He walks silently to the couch and sits so close to me that we are touching. I can feel the heat emanating from his body as well as the anxiety rolling off of him. He is not here to talk. I am not sure that he can at this moment. His mind is still working overtime to process everything he has heard and seen today. The pictures and the story of an affectionate beginning to his life being at the forefront of his quandary, these finding conflict with everything thing he ever remembered or thought he knew.

I reach up to run my fingers through his soft hair, running them down his sideburns and back up to comb through his locks. He melts into my touch and unexpectedly he lies down. Placing his head in my lap and brining his socked feet up to rest on the couch. And so we sit here, like this, me stroking his hair, him dissolving into my lap as he seeks solace and comfort.

"I don't know what to do Ana." He murmurs and I have to strain to hear the hushed tone of his voice.

"You don't have to decide tonight or even tomorrow." I tell him.

I feel his body begin to go lax, the tension in his muscles diminishing as a calming tranquility takes over in place of the high anxiety he has been burdened with all day. He reaches up and grasps my hand, brining it down to his mouth. He plants a warm kiss in my palm before just holding it there between his two hands.

"We should go to bed," I offer, knowing Ted will wake up eventually for a feeding. I also feel my eyelids beginning to close and I know I am dozing off. I feel him lift his head, my hands falling back to my lap. He stands before me and holds one of his hands out to me. I place one of mine in his, standing too. I allow him to lead me back to our bedroom, where our baby is sleeping peacefully. Without removing our clothes or even pulling down the covers we climb into bed together and wrap ourselves in each other's arms. Soon his breathing evens out and I know he has fallen fast asleep. I lie there listening to the sounds of my husband and son, breathing in unison, and allow it to lull me to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Several of you wanted to know what happened in the bedroom after Ana left Christian alone with Ted in the last chapter and he stayed in there for a few hours. Here is a short of that time from Christian's POV. Hope you enjoy it!*****

**_"Then what is the_**_ answer Anastasia?" I raise my voice brusquely. A surplus of memories and thoughts are swimming through my mind and I cannot see straight to sort them out much less make any sense of them. All we are doing is going back and forth, rehashing the same questions repeatedly, and never reaching an answer. I grasp my hands together, making a tight fist, so tight that my knuckles are going white. My frustration is rising and I don't like it. This is not Ana's fault and being angry with her is not the answer. She should not be my lashing post. _

_"I can't answer that Christian," She tells me, her voice somber. She rises from the floor in front of me before speaking again. "Only you can."_

_Brooding, lost in my own inner dwellings, situated somewhere between heaven and hell, I watch her walk to the door. She is not broken or even stirred by my words and tone of voice. My Ana is strong and despite my fifty shades of fucked up her love is unbreakable, enduring everything I have thrown at her. She opens the door and quietly closes it behind her, never looking back at me, leaving me with her words echoing in my mind to make my own decision. I know this hasn't been easy on her either and I hate myself for leaning on her as much as I have. I should be taking care of her, she is my wife, her needs come before mine. Finding my strength and making a resolve no matter what it is or what outcome is brings has to be at the forefront of my priorities. This dilemma cannot continue reigning over my life, our lives; it is not fair to Ana._

_The innocent coos and jabbers of my son breaks my contemplation, bringing me back to his innocence and purity immediately. I look down at him. He is lying where Ana left him, grasping at a simple blue ring toy. His gray eyes, a reflection of mine move up to glance at me and he smiles. I find myself smiling back, it feels good to smile. I stand and bend over the playpen, lifting him into my arms. _

_"You're mommy and daddy love you so much Ted." I whisper to him, bringing him close to my face I kiss the tip of his soft nose. He squeals in delight and begins waving his arms, shaking the blue ring he still has in his left handed grasp._

_I sit back in my chair, propping him in my lap by crossing my foot over my knee. With my hands I support him. His hair and eyes are mine but his other features and demeanor are Ana. His carefree way of making me smile in the most obscure of moments, his smile that can light up the dimmest of rooms and his infectious laugh, all of those things are his mother. He drops the blue ring to the floor and I move my hands so that he has grasped one in each of his. I move my legs so that my lap is flat beneath him. Using every ounce of his might he pulls himself up to stand. His determination to complete this simple task is astounding. I steady him as his body wavers, his chubby legs wobbling from his lack of balance but he refuses to give up. He grins proud of himself and I feel him pushing against me, struggling to stay upright. _

_"Just as determined as your mommy aren't you son?" I encourage him and answer his grin with my own. _

_Finally he sits back down with my help and I pull him to me, cradling his body against mine. I watch him put his thumb in his mouth and begin sucking it as he lays his head against my chest. I am his comfort and his constant, it is not only Ana who he depends on, it is me too. Watching him as his eyes become heavy and begin fluttering until they are finally closed I wonder if my birthmother ever held me like I am holding my son now. Did she ever feel the love for me that I feel for my son before she was altered by her life addictions? With that thought it hits me like a train speeding into a brick wall. This is the first time I have ever referred to her as 'birthmother' in my thoughts instead of as 'the crack whore.' Is something changing inside of me? Nothing can change the pure hell she put me through. Neglecting me and allowing her pimp the beat the hell out of her in front of me, allowing him to beat the hell out of me, nothing will erase those memories. The chance to put them in the background instead of in the forefront is enticing though and I feel as if the opportunity to do that is just within my reach. All I have to do is reach out and take it. Am I strong enough to do that though? To let go of these feelings of hatred that have dominated my life for as long as I can remember and step into the light completely. Ana has already brought me so far into the light with her. Can I go the rest of the way? _

_Ted's tiny body is warm against me. His breathing is a steady and even pattern. His lips and cheeks move in a fixed motion as well as he suckles his thumb, comforting himself to sleep. With my arms securely enfolding him I sit, watching the world go on beneath my feet, but here, now, it is just my son and I. And he is safe with me. _


	20. Chapter 20

***I am so glad you all enjoyed the last chapter from Christian's POV***

**I am blistering from** heat. Christian's fully clothed body is wrapped around mine. He is clinging to me tightly as if I am the one sole object in the universe which keeps him alive. I attempt to move from his stringent grasp but that only causes him to pull me closer. The bedroom suite is still cloaked in blackness telling me that it must be the middle of the night or the early hours of morning. Nevertheless there is not a hint of dawn being displayed around the edges of the window drapes. What awoke me other than this searing warmth? I hear Ted's grunts and complaints coming from Christian's side of the bed and now know. Teddy is awake and wants to be fed.

With much effort I manage to peel back Christian's heavy limbs from my body. Lifting his arms and disentangling my legs from his. He grumbles slightly but settles back to sleep. I slide from the bed and standing I discard my clothing, moist from sweat, until I am only in my camisole and panties. This feels much cooler and much more comfortable. Quickly I move to pick Ted up from where he is laying in his playpen so that he does not cry out and wake his father.

"Hey there baby boy, are you hungry?" I whisper and he complains in agreement. "Let's go get Mommy a bottle of water and then I'll feed you."

Quietly I walk to the other room and take a bottle of water out from the small refrigerator. Opening it with my arms full of a chubby baby boy is a task but I manage and take a long sip. The cool water feels good on my parched throat. "Let's go get you fed Teddy."

Christian still has not stirred from the position I left him in when I got up. Attempting not to wake him I climb back on the bed slowly and lift my shirt for Ted. I lean my head back against the cushioned brown headboard and bring my knees up to help coddle Teddy against my body. His sleepy eyes want so desperately to stay open but he is having a hard time convincing him to do so. They close quickly before popping back open again, silly baby, you are so tired and it is not time to wake up yet. His little fingers rub and work my breast while he nurses even though he is not fully awake. Idly I muse about the alone time father and son spent together just a few hours before. Please let Christian's love for Ted and Ted's love for Christian help to shine a light on Christian's past for him. He loved his birthmother with the same pure affection as his son loves him with.

I feel a sudden jerking movement beside me accompanied by muffled moans and crying, a nightmare. My blood runs cold but instantly I note that this nightmare is unlike the others where Christian wakes up screaming and thrashing about, his body tense and full of fear. This appears to be a dream plagued by sadness. I sit up straight, still holding Ted to me, and begin to shake Christian's arm gently.

"Wake up Christian, I'm here. It's only a dream." I call out to him calmly so as not to scare him. With the same gentleness I move my hand to stroke the side of his face to rouse him.

"Ana," He says my name. His voice is raspy and choked back with tears.

"Yes, I'm here."

He turns over so that he is lying on his back beside me and rubs his hands over his face, wiping his tears away and trying to wake himself to full consciousness.

"You were dreaming Christian."

"Did I wake you?"

"No, Ted did, see Daddy?" I gesture holding Ted down slightly so that Christian can better see him in the darkness. "Do you want to talk about your dream?"

I feel the bed dip and move as he sits up, moving to position himself beside me. "I don't remember much of it. It seemed like it was only blurred memories from the photographs Leslie gave me. It was nothing that made sense, only jumbled images." He says shaking his head as if to clear it. Perhaps trying to bring back more memories to make sense of his dream or perhaps he is trying to clear his mind from those images all together.

"I'm going to go get something to drink, do you want anything?"

"No, I have water here."

Without further exploration of the dreams which awoke him Christian stands and leaves the room. When he comes back I watch him walk into the bathroom, he closes the door and I hear water running. Ted finishes up and is soon back to sleep. I place him back in his bed and tuck him in. He should sleep for the rest of the night, he could barely keep his eyes open to nurse. Moving over to the bathroom door I knock quietly, unsure if I should enter or not.

"Come in," Christian calls to me, so I turn the knob and walk in. He is standing at the sink drying his face wearing only his black boxer briefs. He looks delicious and I find my fingers itching to touch him. Unsure of his mood though I decide not to and go for nonchalant instead.

"I need to brush my teeth," I say by way of explanation for my intrusion. Coming to stand beside him I pick up my toothbrush from where it lies beside his and squirt a dab of toothpaste on it. I watch as Christian follows suite. Silently we stare into each other's eyes through the mirror as we brush our teeth. When I am finished I wipe my mouth and turn to leave the room. Christian follows behind me, flipping the light switch off on his way out.

He rounds the bottom of the bed to walk to his side and pulls back his covers as I pull back mine. We both climb in together and immediately find our way into one another's arms. I am drawn to him like metal to a magnet, he is my comfort and I am his. The sheets feel good against my skin and I find my eyes drifting to close almost as soon as my head hits the sumptuous fluffy pillow.

"Was Ted awake long?" He asks, breaking the silence which has befallen us, disturbing me from dozing.

"No, he only woke to nurse and then promptly fell back asleep." I answer snuggling myself against his now bare chest. Placing my hand over my mouth I try to stifle a yawn.

"Go back to sleep baby, I know you're tired." His lips press a soft kiss to the top of my head.

"Aren't you tired?" I yawn again.

"Baby, after that confusing dream I couldn't sleep if I tried. Just let me hold you, I'll drift back off eventually." Strong hands and long fingers begin running up and down my arms and my back, kneading my muscles dexterously with light nimble touches. They feel like sensuous feathers delicately grazing my skin. I melt against him, allowing my body to go flux as if it were a liquescent substance.

"That feels so good." I murmur against his chest. He is inundating every inch of me with every caressing contact he makes with my skin. It prickles beneath him and my body responds with desire. I want him, plain and simple. I cannot lie here and be stroked by his hands so subtly without yearning for deeper touches. He does this to me, consumes me and makes me want him, crave him. My body promptly responds to his touch and I know I am ready.

In a brazen move I turn to my back and take one of his hands in mine. With no hesitation I direct it to my sex and urge him to move his hand inside of my panties. He gives me free reign to do with him what I like.

"Show me what you want Anastasia," He growls and whispers at the same time. With his hand pressed against my moist flesh I remove mine and hook both of my thumbs at the side of my panties. Quickly I slide them down to my knees before using my legs to help me remove them completely. Christian has his head propped on his other hand, keeping his right hand where I left it. Gently I feel his fingers pet me, just on the outside, petting me softly. "Is this what you want?"

"No." I whimper with need and place my hand on top of his again, directing him until he slides two of his fingers inside of me.

"So soft…so wet…so warm…" He breathes leaning down and placing moist kisses against my shoulder blade. I know he is trying to control himself and slow down his urge to climb inside of me. "Squeeze my fingers baby."

"What?" I moan in confusion.

"Let me feel you Ana, squeeze my fingers." He tells me again, attempting to clarify the meaning of his words.

I concentrate on the movement of my pelvic muscles and attempt to compress them. Am I doing what he is asking? I feel like I am but how can I be sure? He has never asked me to do this before.

"Tighter baby, make it tighter."

I almost furrow my brow in concentration, trying to constrict the muscles of my walls around his two fingers.

"That's it baby." He croons encouraging me. His kisses trail along my shoulder blade once more then up my neck before finding my mouth. I feel his teeth nibble my bottom lip before releasing it. Suddenly his fingers are gone and he is moving over me. It is when I feel his erection pressing into my thigh that I realize his boxers are gone although I am unsure as to when he divested himself of them. He frames my face with his hands; resting his elbow at either side of my head he supports his weight. "When I push myself inside of you Ana I want you to squeeze me just like you did my fingers." He tells me. Even though it is dark I can feel his eyes burning into mine.

Slowly, deliciously I feel him pushing himself into me. It is painfully slow almost as if he will never fully be inside of me, it will take eons for him to fill me I think. But finally he is there, filling me to the hilt and I cannot help but throw my head back and groan a garbled version of his name.

"Now Ana, tighten yourself around my body."

Using every ounce of concentration I did before squeeze, narrowing my walls until he is snugly inside of me and all I feel his him. I feel every part of him. "I'm going to move baby, keep your muscles constricted, I want you to feel the sensation of all of me."

So I do, I keep my muscles tight around him has he pulls out and pushes back in, setting a divine, slow, steady rhythm. I don't move my legs around his waist, I keep my knees slightly bent and my legs spread open for him. He makes no move to kiss me and for that I am glad. I know if I break my concentration my muscles will go slack and I want to do this for him. I feel myself beginning to build and I know it won't be long before I come.

"Let go with me Ana." He growls suddenly and I do. I feel him exploding inside of me as I detonate around him. We moan and whimper in unison just as our bodies find release in complete and utter harmony. Tremors shoot through my body and find myself shaking with each after shock. Gently he pulls his body out of mine, breaking our physical unity. Instead of waiting for him to draw me against himself I move into his arms and lay my head on his chest. Wordlessly our breathing returns to normal and we both drift back to sleep. Both comforted by one another and sated from our lovemaking.


	21. Chapter 21

***Here in the U.S. today is Mother's Day...it is actually about 5:45pm where I am. I wanted to give you all a Mother's Day extra. I hope you enjoy it. PS~ I never got an email notification that the chapter was posted last night and I never got emails about your reviews either but I've read them so I know they are there. Did you all get the email notification or perhaps it was just hotmail having a few hiccups?****

_Mother's Day 2012_

_**My belly is round and**__ tight, resembling an over inflated basketball. Two more weeks, I tell myself as I stand before the open closet in our master bathroom at Escala trying desperately to do decide what I should wear to Mother's Day Brunch at The Grey's home in Bellevue. Anything remotely tight is torturous and I can't bear the thought of even an elastic waistband restricting my belly today, making pants no longer an option. During this past week the only thing I have been able to stand is a loose fitting dress. I decide on my teal maternity crossover maxi dress and pair it with my white knit shrug to keep my shoulders warm. Maxi dresses have become my new best friends. _

_After pulling my shrug on I slip my feet into my strappy sandals and then outwardly groan at the fact that I now have to buckle the straps on the sides. How in the heck am I going to manage this task? I elect to sit on the bottom of the bed and prop my feet on the small bench at the bottom. Now, can I reach my feet? I am leaning forward to give it my best try when I hear Christian come in the room._

_"Baby, what are you doing?" He asks, I hear a slight hint of amusement in his voice and while I know I must be a sight the irritation I have for not being to accomplish a simple task such as buckling my own shoes without becoming an acrobat is agitating._

_"What does it look like I'm doing?" I grunt and hoist myself forward. "I'm trying to buckle these damn shoes."_

_"Why not put on flats?"_

_"I. Want. These. Shoes. Christian." I am determined to wear the shoes that I want to wear._

_Without success he tries to hide his grin as he stifles a chuckle. "Let me help you." He offers and walks to sit beside me. "Give me your feet." _

_Blowing out a breath I concede, I cannot do this by myself, I need help. Slowly I turn my body so that I can place my feet on Christian's lap. "You look beautiful today Mommy." He says lifting my first foot ever so slightly and buckling the strap adorning my ankle. His fingers linger tracing the silver anklet I bought on our honeymoon. Goosebumps breakout on my arms and a shiver runs through my body. "But I think I have something to replace this ankle bracelet." _

_He brings a rectangular black velvet box in front of me. Where did that come from? "Christian," I beam. "You didn't have to buy me anything."_

_"Nonsense, you are carrying our son Ana. You will be showered with my love and gifts today." His free hand spreads wide, encompassing my immensely swollen belly. "You're eyes are smiling Anastasia, open it." _

_Slowly I open the box and gasp when I see its contents. An ankle bracelet made from alternating tiny white and black pearls, adorning it are two dainty charms made of white gold. One is the word 'mother' in an elegant script; the other is a little white gold boy. Instantly tears prick my eyes, thank you hormones. Smiling through my tears I turn my eyes up from the bracelet to see Christian watching me, love written across his lovely face. "It's beautiful Christian, perfect, I love it. Put it on me please." I say taking the bracelet from its box._

_With deft fingers he removes the one I am currently wearing and places it beside him on the bed then with care he encircles my ankle with the new one and fastens it. "Even on my fat ankle it looks gorgeous." I tell him. _

_He leans down and places a kiss on my ankle, "Nonsense, you are perfect and I love you."_

_"I love you so much Christian." _

_**Feeling the SUV come **__to a stop I lift my head from where it has been resting against the window and glance at the clock, it is just before ten and I am starving. Brunch was a wonderful idea but to this pregnant woman it was far too long to wait for my first meal of the day. I'm eating for two…I'm eating for two, this is my mantra. My mantra which I repeat to myself over and over again daily, Christian is thrilled to see me eating larger meals but then perhaps that's because he is not the one who feels as big as a whale. I reach for another one of my granola bars from the glove box and tear it open. This is the third one I've eaten today plus the two bananas I had before we left the apartment. This little man inside of me must have a huge appetite. How in the world am I going to keep him full once he arrives?_

_"Baby, I'm sure Mom has brunch all prepared and ready to be served." Christian says glancing over at me as he turns the ignition off._

_"I know but I'm hungry now. This baby of yours is always hungry." I say between bites and picking up the small piece of granola which falls onto my lap._

_"He's just a growing boy Mommy." He pats my belly before climbing out and walking around to my side._

_I am so glad we drove the SUV, watching me attempt to get out of the R8 has become quite the spectacle and riding in the back of any car is nearly impossible, making the fact that he gave Taylor and Sawyer the weekend off a good thing. Being chauffeured around by security while sitting in the backseat and fighting off nausea, not fun. It has been nearly nine months since the incident; slowly Christian is relinquishing some of the tight security he has had in place. For that I am glad, I am ready for life to resume as normal, whatever normal was before the attack. _

_ Grace meets us at the front door, opening it before we have a chance to knock or ring the doorbell. She envelopes me in her arms and hugs me gently before releasing me to touch my belly where her grandson seems to be sleeping. With the exception of a few kicks earlier this morning he has been quiet._

_"How are you feeling Ana?" She asks me._

_"Hungry," I smile. "I'm always hungry."_

_"Well brunch is ready to be served, shall we?"_

_Christian places his hand on the small of my back and we follow Grace into the house where we are met by Carrick, Mia, Ethan, Kate, Elliot, Grandpa Trevelyan and Grandma Trevelyan. Grandma immediately stands to greet me. She loves to touch my pregnant belly and is always so proud of the fact that one of her grandson's is going to be a father soon. She dotes over me, asking the same questions. How am I doing? Am I eating enough? Am I resting enough? And my recent favorite, are there any signs of labor? What is it with older people wanting to know all of your personal business? Once I have answered each of her questions she then rubs my protruding frame and exclaims, "Well you've certainly grown bigger since the last time I saw you. You'll be popping that baby out in no time Anastasia."_

_I wince at the idea of 'popping that baby out,' this is not something I want to hear two weeks from my due date. _

_"Mother!" Grace exclaims in an admonishing tone. "Most pregnant ladies do not like being told they are growing bigger."_

_Grandma Trevelyan looks at me with a chastened expression. "Oh, I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean anything by it. I just got carried away."_

_Taking her hand in mine I squeeze it gently, allowing both of our hands to rest on my belly. "It's okay. Teddy is growing every day." I smile and see her return my smile with one of her own. She and Grandpa where absolutely thrilled when we announced our baby's boys name would be Theodore Raymond Grey. Theodore after Grandpa Trevelyan and Raymond after Ray, our son will carry the names of his grandfathers and Christian and I could not be prouder. _

_I think Kate sees my discomfort from the conversation though and makes quick work to steal me away for a few moments. _

_"Ana, that reminds me I found the most adorable little outfit for my nephew and I just had to buy it, come see." She motions for me to follow her to the couch in the great room and I walk out of Christian's hold to join her. The others remain talking in the foyer and slowly migrate to the backyard where Gretchen is currently setting brunch out on the patio. _

_Kate presents me with a shopping bag, inside is a delicate blue romper adorned with tiny dark blue sail boats. "Oh Kate, it is precious. Thank you." _

_"You know I'll spoil him Ana." She grins. "I was going to wait until later to give it to you but you looked like you needed a little rescuing from Grandma Trevelyan."_

_"She means well Kate," I tell her and fold the romper up so that I can place it back in its bag. "It's just that I love being pregnant with Ted but I'm tired of being this huge. I mean look at me, I could barely fit through the door."_

_"You exaggerate Ana." She laughs. "You look wonderful; you've got that special glow of motherhood."_

_"It's called sweat Kate," I deadpan. "From the exertion it took me to get out of the car and into the house."_

_We both break into a fit of giggles. Kate will understand one day, I think to myself. It feels good to laugh with my friend though. We don't see each other enough, since graduating a year ago it has always felt like that. Like we both grew up and moved on to our own lives, her with Elliot, me with Christian and now I'm having a baby and she'll be married by the end of the summer. Sometimes I'm left wondering where the time has gone, it goes by so fast. _

_"Brunch is served," Gretchen announces from the double French doors and the remaining few of us inside turn to exit out to the patio. _

_Christian is by my side right away, helping me to waddle outside. Upon stepping outside I see the table is adorned with pink and white hydrangeas in tall glass vases. It is simply beautiful. _

_"Happy Mother's Day, Anastasia." Christian whispers in my ear. I feel his warm breath as he speaks and he plants a soft kiss right beneath my ear. I find myself leaning into him and closing my eyes. He nuzzles me kissing the same spot again before moving slightly. I open my eyes to see him holding a corsage in his hand, filled with blue and white roses. Blue roses! I have never seen blue roses before. _

_"Blue for our baby boy," he says by way of explanation and removing the white pearl tipped pin from the corsage he pins it to my dress, against my breast. Even in front of everyone his hand lingers a moment longer than necessary, subtly caressing my exposed skin. His eyes are locked on mine the entire time. I take his lips with mine in a tender kiss._

_"Our baby boy," I recite back to him against his lips._

_"This one has to be born before you can get started on the next one you two." Elliot pipes up inappropriately, as usual, and I see Grace flash her eyes over to him just as Kate elbows him in the stomach. _

_"Well at least I know how it's done Elliot. Would you like for me to buy you a beginner's manual of instructions for your wedding gift?" Christian retorts back at him._

_"That's enough out of you boys or I will send you both to your rooms." Grace places her hands on her hips while scolding her two sons. To their credit they retreat their sarcastic remarks, a wise choice on their parts because I know Grace is not just making idle threats. _

_ With the sun shining overhead and a warm breeze blowing we begin to serve each other in a family manner. Passing along the dishes and placing what we would like to eat on our plates. In true Christian style I am served, not being allowed to lift a finger, and as usual he serves me before serving himself. I gorge myself on potato basil frittata, maple-roasted bacon, a strawberry scone and a bowl of fresh fruit. I am sipping my tea when a happy little kick knocks against my belly. I gasp to myself and pat the place under my breasts where the little kick was felt._

_"Are you okay baby?" Christian places his silverware on the white linen clothed table and turns to me in concern. _

_"Teddy kicked, or punched, I'm not sure which." I answer him still holding my stomach. "It felt like a powerful one though. This boy is trying to turn me black and blue on the inside."_

_I pick my fork back up and take another bite of the frittata. Christian is still staring at me though as if he is waiting for me to do something miraculous like take flight or disappear into the ground below. "I'm fine Christian, really. It was just a kick." I take his hand with mine and squeeze it reassuringly. He looks at me skeptically but nods and returns to eating. The rest of the table is still in full chatter with everyone enjoying their meals. Grace however is watching me carefully. I smile at her and she raises an eyebrow, nodding in the direction of my belly. I mouth the words, "I'm fine," to her and she nods again._

_Honestly all of this fuss over one little kick. I finish eating, cleaning my plate and am finally full for the first time today. I recline back in my chair and rest my hands on my stomach, feeling satisfied and content not only from my delicious meal but because I am surrounded by family. Kate is busy talking about her wedding which will take place in four months while the men exchange the latest baseball scores, which teams are at the top and which are ones are struggling. Closing my eyes briefly I allow the sun to soak into my skin, warming me and relaxing me when I am suddenly prompted to open them. The shock of a tightening pain spreading across my abdomen surprises me and I move my hands down, holding my belly where the discomfort radiates from. It's not so much painful as it is tight, a sensation of pressure. It's just a cramp; I tell myself and try to disguise the fact that I am feeling anything. I do a poor job of it however, because the entire table stops talking at once, focusing solely on me. _

_"Oh my God Ana are you having contractions?" Mia blurts out._

_"No, Ted just kicked me again." I lie, please believe me, please believe me. This is too soon; I've got two or three more weeks to go. Dr. Greene told me last week that it should be a few more weeks. Should, is not a definitive term, my subconscious snarks at me, causing me to glare in her direction. Shut up, you are not the one having contractions during Mother's Day Brunch. _

_Their faces are unchanging though and everyone's attention is directed at me. "Perhaps you should lie down." Christian begins to stand and I grab his arm._

_"Christian I'm fine, please I'd like to stay and join everyone. I don't want to spend my day lying in bed while you all visit and enjoy each other's company." The discomfort passes as quickly as it came and my stomach muscles relax to normal. _

_"Anastasia,"_

_"Please," I beg again._

_"Okay but if it happens again," He warns._

_"I'll lie down." I finish and smile sweetly at him. He bends down to kiss me before scooting his chair closer to mine and placing his hand on my belly. He rubs it soothingly and I cannot deny how comforting his touch feels. Teddy gives a gentle kick. "He knows you're there Daddy." I laugh and Ted kicks again._

_ A few quiet minutes pass and I am relieved to have had no more contractions. That one was just a fluke, I tell myself. There's no reason to be alarmed. The sense of certainty does not last long though. I am in the middle of taking with Kate about her two cousins who will be her bridesmaids when my abdomen tightens again. With no lack of trying to avoid it my face grimaces._

_"That's it Anastasia, I can feel it. You are having contractions and we are going to the hospital right now." He stands abruptly and my eyes swing to Grace, pleading with her to stop her crazed son who is going to drag me by the hair of my head to the hospital should I refuse to go._

_"Christian…" She says and thankfully he stops long enough to acknowledge the fact that his mother is speaking to him. "Ana is still a few weeks away from her due date and first babies are often late. I believe these may be Braxton Hicks Contractions, false labor. We can time them but if they continue to be irregular, as they are now, there is nothing to be concerned about."_

_He looks down at me, obviously conflicted as to what he should do. "Dr. Greene told me I may have these Christian. I'll call her tomorrow I promise." I try to placate him. _

_Hesitantly he sits back down, "Ana, I…"_

_"I'm fine Christian, really."_

_"There I've marked the time on my phone," Kate pipes up. "Let me know if you have another Ana."_

_"Thank you Kate." I tell her._

_"Gretchen," Grace calls to miss bouncy pigtails who is standing nearby. "Please fetch two bottles of water for Mrs. Grey."_

_"Certainly ma'am," Gretchen answers and walks back in to the house. She reappears with two bottles of water instantly and hands them to me. I open one and take a long drink from it._

_"Stay hydrated Ana that will help to keep the Braxton Hicks at bay."_

_I down the entire bottle of water right away and start on the next one. By the time I am finished with it I need the bathroom and stand to go. Christian stands with me, "I just need the restroom." I whisper to him._

_"I'll go with you."_

_"Christian, honestly." I shake my head but smile up at him._

_ He is standing right outside of the door waiting on me when I open it. "You're okay?" He asks._

_"I'm fine." I feel like all I've done today is tell people I'm okay and that I feel fine. He takes my arm and we begin walking back out to the patio when I stop in my tracks, feeling another one coming on. I begin to breathe through it, taking air in through my nose and blowing it out through my mouth. He supports me and caresses my belly with his other hand, his touch comforting. "Let's walk okay?"_

_"Walk? Ana I think you should lie down."_

_"No, let's walk. I want to walk." I say standing back up from my bent over position. "It's been almost an hour since I had the first one. Grace is sure this isn't labor, it's okay."_

_"Alright Mrs. Grey, we will walk then."_

_We stroll back out the French doors and Christian tells everyone we are going for a walk. I let Kate know I had another episode but that it did not last long. Grace is certain I am experiencing false labor which comforts me; I trust her and her judgment. My feet are killing me though and I would like nothing more than to lose my sandals. "Christian, I want to feel the grass beneath my feet. Would you take my sandals off for me?"_

_He helps me to sit on a wrought iron bench near the end of the slate patio. Bending on his knee before me he takes one foot at a time in his hands and removes my sandals. I wriggle my toes in the cool, lush, green grass, this feels divine. My swollen feet do not like shoes at all and prefer freedom much more. _

_"In three days it will have been a year since I first laid eyes on you." Christian says cupping my expectant belly in both of his hands, still kneeling before me. _

_His declaration takes me by surprise, I wasn't sure if he'd remembered. "You remember the date we met?" I ask incredulously. _

_"I will never forget it Anastasia, it was the day my life was changed forever. The moment I saw your beautiful blue eyes looking up at me I knew I had to have you. Something changed in that one instant and I was never the same again." Leaning forward he presses his mouth to my belly, kissing our baby boy from the outside. I place one hand on my belly and the other I tangle in his locks; they are burnished copper, shining in the bright springtime sunshine. "You're sure you feel up to walking?" He asks shifting his eyes up to meet mine._

_"Positive."_

_He stands and holds his hand out to me. With as much grace as possible I stand beside him. He encompasses me with one arm, drawing me to him and we walk across the yard. Strolling at a leisurely pace, hearing the birds sing their songs around us, and taking in the scents of the wild roses growing near the trees we walk towards the water where the boathouse sits. Past the boathouse is a small dock. Feeling the roughhewn wooden planks beneath my feet I gaze at the cool waters below and the sound of the water lapping at the shore meets my ears. _

_"Could we sit here?" I ask._

_"Here?"_

_"Here, I'd like to dangle my feet in the water."_

_"The water is cold Ana."_

_"My feet are hot and swollen Christian, it will feel good." I smile at him and I know he cannot refuse me. With his help I gingerly sit down on the dock and he sits beside me. I touch one of my big toes to the water and it is icy but refreshing. I dip both feet in and sigh leaning back, supporting myself with my arms and turn my face up to the sky. "I wonder what he'll look like, our Ted." I muse out loud, mostly to myself._

_Christian moves so that he is sitting behind me and I move my arms to cradle my now quiet belly. My little mover must be napping. I prop myself up against Christian's chest, allowing myself to rest. He wraps his arms around me and places them protectively near where mine are located, holding his son and I both at the same time. "He'll look like his beautiful mother."_

_"Hmmmm…only if he has your eyes and your hair, we'll know soon enough though." I feel him tense slightly. "There's nothing to be scared of Christian. I'll be fine and our baby will be fine."_

_"I know, today just…"_

_I turn my head slightly so that I can gaze into his eyes. "Hey, it frightened me too. But we'll make it through this together and in the end we will have our beautiful baby in our arms."_

_"I'll never leave your side Anastasia." He whispers and kisses me tenderly, reverently, adoringly, and deeply. His tongue dances with mine, stroking it as he tastes me and I revel in the taste of him. I move my hand to caress his cheek and feel the familiar tickle of his soft stubble against my fingertips._

_"I love you so much Daddy."_

_"I love you more Mommy."_


	22. Chapter 22

***Several of you reviewed wanting a little somethin' somethin' to go with your Mother's Day treat. So I hope you don't mind if I segue from the original story once more and give you all that little somethin' somethin' you were looking for.

And I'd like to take a poll...in light of the fact that Mother's Day 2012 was on May 13th I would like to make Teddy's birth occur on May 16th. In Fifty Shades of Grey the first email between Christian and Ana was dated May 22nd. I calculate that they met approx one week before the first email correspondence took place which would mean they met around the 16th. Would it not be cool if Ted was born after they had known each other for exactly one year?

With today being May 13th 2013, Ted's first birthday would be approaching...How many of you would like for me to continue one with my little segue just one more time and write Ana going into labor with Ted?

After that I will continue on with Fifty Shades Complete Part 2 where I left off in Detroit. I have to admit writing this light hearted time has been a nice break from the emotion of Detroit.

Thoughts?

_May 13, 2012 _

_Mother's Day Night_

**_ I step out of_**_ the shower and place my feet on the plush white bath rug while reaching for a towel. A hot shower is just what I needed to end this perfect mother's day. Despite the contractions I felt earlier in the afternoon my day was everything I could have hoped for. A beautiful gift from Christian, flowers, a delicious brunch and time with family. I truly feel so blessed to be a part of this huge loving family that I have married in to. I let my hair down from where I pulled it back to keep it from getting wet and hang my towel back up. A tiny kick lets me know my blip is still safely inside of my belly. I run my hand over the spot where I just felt him and smile. As much as I can't wait for him to be here and long to hold him in my arms I can't help but feel as if I'm about to lose something. I've carried him inside of my body for nine months and soon he'll be here. I know that is the way it happens and that is how it is supposed to be but up until this point he has always just been mine, once he is born I won't be the only one holding him anymore. _

_ Grazing my hands over my swollen belly I marvel at how much it has grown from the tiny little bump it was when I had to put on my first pair of maternity pants. And now he will be here any day, our lives will change forever with the first cry from our son, for the better. Our precious little one will be the light of his parent's lives. Startled by the sound of footsteps I look up to see Christian standing in the doorway. He is holding up the most beautiful nightdress I have ever seen. It is a baby doll nightdress with spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline. It is made of comfortable cotton fabric and is anything but simple. The background is white but it is adorned with bunches of tiny pink roses and wisps of green leaves. The bodice is trimmed with lace as is the bottom ruffle. _

_ He steps forward and begins slipping the straps from the hanger. "Your last gift Mrs. Grey." he says taking it in both hands and holding it above my head. I lift my arms and allow the soft fabric to slide over my head and down my body. I can't help but notice how my full breasts fill the bodice of the gown. As if reading my thoughts Christian grazes his hands over my breasts and cups them tenderly. My body clenches as the feeling of desire evolves deep down inside of me. Watching our reflection in the mirror is beautiful and erotic. "This gown, you can wear it now and after our son is born." He demonstrates the flexibility of the dress by unfastening one of the top corners from its strap. "It is a nursing gown as well."_

_My Fifty! The way he cares for me and our blip already, I love him so. "It's beautiful Christian, thank you." He refastens the strap to the gown and I turn in his arms, my belly protruding between us._

_Leaning down his pecks my lips softly, "To bed Mrs. Grey."_

_"Oh, I like the sound of that."_

_"To sleep." He corrects me sternly. I stick out my pouty lip in protest. "You had contractions today Anastasia, I'm not touching you."_

_"They weren't real contractions Christian, you heard your mother. Dr. Greene said it was perfectly fine to have sex until I went into labor and I am not in labor." See Grey? I can be just as firm as you can. He gives me a serious scowl and I giggle at him. "Besides, once blip is here you won't be able to touch me for six weeks." This should definitely emphasize my case. I want to make love with him now. He is still regarding me, torn obviously between what he wants to do and what he thinks he should do. In an attempt to help make up his mind for him I begin to trail my fingers down his black t-shirt until I find his belt buckle. "Pretty please," I say so sweetly and bite my bottom lip._

_"Anastasia…" He warns me but I refuse to heed him. _

_With one hand I release his buckle and unbutton his jeans. His eyes are hooded and his breathing is definitely accelerating, I know I am affecting him now. Ever so slowly I slide his zipper down and reach my hands inside of his boxer briefs, immediately finding my goal. He is hard and soft, ready for me and I want him now. I stroke my hand up and down his length, teasing the tip with my thumb, all the while watching him intently, and waiting for his decision._

_"If anything doesn't feel right,"_

_"I'll tell you. Please Christian, I need you so much." _

_He groans and wraps his hand in my hair, twisting it until it is tight at the nape of my neck. He pulls my head back and begins trailing kisses up my neck while I continue to allow my hand to explore him freely. "To the bed Anastasia." He growls. I release him from my hold just as he releases my hair and follow him to our bedroom._

_ Once we are in our bedroom he instructs me to lie down on the bed. "We're going to try something new Ana. I've read that it should be quite enjoyable for you and is also gentler." Hmmm…okay. I've enjoyed being on top, a lot! But I'm up for something else. _

_I lie down. "Scoot your bottom to the edge of the bed." I scoot down and hold myself up on my elbows, attempting to see over my protruding belly. I see the top of his head as he kneels between my legs. His hands grasp my ankles, parting my legs, and bending my knees slightly. "Are you ready Ana?" He whispers and ever so delicately touches my sex. I whimper at the sensitivity, I've been ready. _

_"Yes."_

_Slowly he inserts first one finger, testing me, then slides a second inside of me. They glide through my wetness effortlessly. Next I feel his tongue, tasting me before his lips plant soft kisses on the outside of me, traveling to my thighs, his fingers continuing to the move. "Do you want to come baby?"_

_"Please," I whimper. Ah! My body feels like a rope spun tense, needing to be released. Opening his pants and touching him, it made me want him even more than I did before. _

_"Please what?"_

_"Please, sir." He flicks his fingers madly and I erupt instantaneously, exploding into a million pieces. He doesn't linger there for long before he begins inching my gown up, exposing my belly. His lips move up and over my tight skin, kissing me tenderly. Upon reaching my breasts he unfastens each of the straps and allows the bodice to fall, revealing me to him. _

_"Sweet Jesus, you are gorgeous." He breathes and in this moment I feel gorgeous. Most days I have felt like a huge unattractive oaf but right now in this bed with the man I love, making love to me, I feel as if I am the most beautiful woman on earth. Christian has loved my swollen belly from the moment I began to show. Holding his hand over me protectively, caressing my stomach as it grew. He has cherished each new step of my pregnancy more than the last. And I revel in it, watching him adore the new life we created together as it has grown inside of me. _

_He traces my face with his fingers and kisses me gently while arching his body so that he forms around mine. "Are you ready Ana?"_

_"Yes, please, let me feel you."_

_I watch him stand before me at the edge of the bed. He lifts each of my legs and I think he is going to place them on his shoulders, yes we've done this before, but first before doing that he crosses them as if they were scissors. Resting my left foot on his right shoulder and my right foot on his left shoulder, slowly and deliciously he enters me, sliding in at a steady pace so that I can feel each delectable inch of him. _

_"Is this okay?" He asks._

_"Oh God, yes Christian. This feels so good."_

_He pulls back out and slides in again, still maintaining his even pace. I keep my eyes lock on his and revel in the feeling of my husband making love to me. I loose myself in the feeling of him until my body begins to clench around his and I come apart at the seams._

_"Ana!" He cries out and spills himself inside of me. Each second of this is better than the one before, he is so deep inside of my body and my soul. _


	23. Chapter 23

***It's been awhile, sorry, life has been busy but I have been writing every night. So yes, I feel like an awful Fifty Fan. I've read the books over ten times but have not read Fifty Shades of Christian at the end of Freed nearly as many times. Yes, they met on May 9th, my bad ;) Anywhoo...seeing as I messed that up I decided to scratch the May 16th birth idea. If you remember I actually did a flash back in my first story about her water breaking, saying she had been having Braxton Hicks for a few weeks. I'm just gonna go with that, the way I had orignally done it. I'd rather stay true to the story as I'm writing it and as EL James wrote it. I don't like deviating too much from the original story and characters as they were set forth. I hope you all like this chapter :) Next one is when Ted is born.***

**_Monday, May 25, 2012_**

_ This is my last day of work until after Ted is born. When will I return back to work? I know nothing would make Christian happier than for me to quit working all together but I'm not sure I would ever want to do that. I love my job and I feel so proud of my accomplishments but I am ready for my baby to be born. After a week of enduring unpredictable Braxton Hick's I find myself even wearier than I was when I experienced the first ones on Mother's Day. They are becoming more frequent and I have today to wrap things up at work, blip will be here soon. Christian didn't want me come to work today but I convinced him that I would only stay until lunch time. He will be here to pick me up at noon, ensuring that I stick to my word. _

_ I've been sitting at my desk sending out last minute correspondences for just over an hour when I feel an intense pinching pain in my lower back. I reach around to rub the site of the pain. Oh! That does not feel good. The discomfort passes finally and I continue on with my work. One more week until my due date, I was barely two centimeters at my appointment Friday and everyone keeps telling me first babies are often late. Thankfully I have one more week to finish prepping for Teddy's arrival. I still need to wash the last few of his clothes, pack our bags and organize a few items in the nursery. Just enough time is left to take care of my last minute preparations. Hitting send on an email to Roach I reach down in my bag beside my desk for my apple Mrs. Jones packed this morning. She packed me enough fruit for a fruit salad; she's always making sure 'the mommy to be' has enough to eat. She takes such good care of me. Sitting back up straight a strong contraction squeezes across my belly. Damn! This almost hurts. I grip the edge of my desk and find myself actually trying to breathe through this one. This cannot be good. _

_ Hannah chooses this moment to walk through my open door. "Ana!" She shouts and rushes to my side. _

_"Hannah…I think I'm having a contraction." I manage to get out. _

_"Do you want me to call Mr. Grey? Of course I should call Mr. Grey. I'm getting right on it, I'm calling Mr. Grey." She begins babbling incoherently and I love her but God it is making me crazy. She has got to stop this! _

_"Hannah! No, please I'll call him. Just take my calls and tell Claire I'll be leaving early."_

_ With the contraction passing behind me I begin to feel better. It was just another false alarm, I tell myself, but even I'm beginning to doubt the truth behind that statement. I look at the time on my computer and it is 10:12am. Quickly I grab a piece of notepad paper and a pen. I jot down the time of the contraction, I need to track these things before I decide whether this is the real deal or not. What the hell am I saying? I sound like a fast food commercial. Focus Grey, you could be going into labor. What was I doing? Call your husband! My subconscious shouts at me. Yes, call Christian, that's what I need to do. He is going to freak out. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to call 911 and send an ambulance to take me to the hospital. My subconscious smirks and nods in agreement; boy does she know my Fifty._

_"Yes, Mrs. Grey. Don't worry I've got it. I'll be right back." She rushes out the door and down the hall. I love that girl so much but she is a bit...bubbly? Is that the right word for it? _

_I look down at my round belly and laugh, "She's the reason you're here blip." I smile, I've told my blip this since I first found out about him being in my tummy. Steeling for myself to handle the insanity which I know is about to ensue I pick up my cell phone and dial Christian._

_ He picks up on the first ring, well actually the first half ring. "Ana?" His voice is laced with panic at the unexpected hour of my phone call. He has been on pins and needles due to my intermittent false contractions. _

_"Yes, it's me. Christian I need you to come pick me up early."_

_"What? Why? Are you okay?" Chill out will you? I think in my head. I would never say that out loud to him. I know he's just an anxious father-to-be. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't become anxious over the past few weeks. Feeling these Braxton Hick's contractions has really put reality in the forefront. I'm going to be giving birth soon and to be honest, I'm scared. I would never tell him that though, I don't need to add my worry to his. _

_"I'm okay, I've just had an uncomfortable contraction and I want to go home and lay down." I tell him trying to mollify him and myself. Inside I'm secretly freaking out. _

_"Do you need to go to the hospital?"_

_"No, I'm timing them Christian, I haven't had another one and I just want to go home."_

_I hear him cover the phone with his hand and his muffled voice speaks crassly to someone who is asking him a question. I don't know who was just on the receiving end of his wrath but I immediately feel sorry for them. _

_"I'm sorry baby; I'm on my way right now. Don't go anywhere." He hangs up abruptly and I am left rolling my eyes at the phone. Where would I go Christian? I swear sometimes that man…_

_ I decide to type out a schedule for the conferences Hannah will sit in on with Roach and five new authors over the next month and email it to them both. I finish my apple and throw the core in the trash can near the door, perfect shot Ana and I smile to myself. Ten minutes and not another hint of a contraction, I'm beginning to second guess my decision to call Christian when my abdomen tightens again. Not another one. I grip my desk again to ride it out and find myself breathing through it just like before. Is this it? Please little blip just give mommy some more time. I rub my belly and am blowing out a breath when my door flings open._

_"Ana!" Christian screams my name as if I were sitting her bleeding to death and rushes to my side. Hannah runs in directly behind him. "Call the hospital Hannah, tell them we are on our way." _

_"Christian, no." I breathe out._

_"Hell Anastasia, do you want to have the baby here? We are going to the hospital now!" I know you are scared Christian and so am I but please calm down; I need you to be calm for me. _

_"Christian you may go to the hospital but I am not." I put the emphasis on I. "Dr. Greene told me to time them and call her if they are less than five minutes apart. I have only had two and they were more than ten minutes apart. It's not time yet. Now please, take me home." My cool and controlled tone of voice must work because he concedes and begins gathering my bags. With my briefcase and purse in one hand he helps me to stand from my chair with his other hand. I am grateful for the support of his arm around my lower back, which is still nagged by a persistent ache. _

_Claire and Hannah send me out the door with smiles and well wishes. They both know I won't be back at work until I have a baby in my arms. Taylor is waiting at the curb with the SUV idling. Upon seeing us he jumps out and opens the backdoor for me. _

_"Mr. Grey, allow me to take Mrs. Grey's bags." He says hurriedly, taking my things from Christian's hand. Don't tell me Taylor is freaking out too! "Where to sir, the hospital?" He asks after placing my bags in the passenger seat. _

_"No, to Escala Taylor." The disdain for my decision about not going to the hospital is evident in Christian's tone of voice. He closes my door and moves around to the other side, opening his door and sliding in beside me. Taylor gives me a grim look of disagreement from the rearview mirror before flipping on his turn signal and pulling out into traffic. _

_**Christian helps me from**__ the vehicle and keeps me close as we ride the elevator up to our apartment. Despite the fact that I have not had another contraction he is still on pins and needles. Every facial expression I make warrants him asking me if I am okay or if I am having another pain. Gail is busy making lunch when we enter the apartment. It smells heavenly and I suddenly realize just how hungry I am. Christian sets my bags down in the foyer and leads me through great room and past the kitchen stopping only long enough to speak to Gail._

_"Please bring Mrs. Grey's lunch to our room." _

_"Very well, Mr. Grey." Gail agrees with him before I have a chance to object. She reaches under the counter and produces a wooden tray which she begins setting with a napkin and silverware._

_"I can eat here in the kitchen."_

_"No, you can eat lying down."_

_I purse my lips in frustration but choose to say nothing, Gail smiles and winks at me. All I can do is sigh and relinquish the thought of eating my lunch anywhere but in my bedroom. A nap doesn't sound like a bad idea though. _

_ After enjoying a delicious lunch I pull the covers over my pregnant belly and nestle a pillow between my legs, offering some support to blip as I lay on my side. Sleeping in a comfortable position has been nearly impossible but I have found having a pillow to brace my belly against helps somewhat. I yawn and feel my eyelids becoming heavier when I hear the sound of Christian's voice growing louder as he approaches the bedroom, he must be on the phone. He ends the call before walking through the door. I watch him stop and observe me warily. He cannot hide the worry etched across his lovely face. His brow is furrowed thoughtfully and I know he is waging internal turmoil against himself. He wants me to go to the hospital because he is worried. There is nothing to worry about though, I am fine and blip is fine. Choosing to say nothing he slips his shoes off and climbs in bed beside me. He turns on his side and wraps his arms around my belly from behind. Slowly I feel him lift my nightdress up, the same nightdress he gave me a week ago, and slide the sheet down until nothing is between my skin and his. His hands embrace my bare belly, sending shivers from their warmth up my spine. Blip answers his father's touch with a small kick._

_"He feels you Daddy, he says 'hi'." I grin; our baby has recognized his father's touch for so long now. I cannot help but wonder if it will be the same when he is finally held in his daddy's arms. _

_"I called my mom. She doesn't think it will be long now because you are having back pain. Do you want to call your mother?"_

_"I will when I wake up from my nap. She will be here this weekend anyway. I think blip will wait until then." I don't feel the conviction of my words, I want to meet my baby boy so badly but now I feel apprehensive. I wish I could shake this feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Deep down I know Grace is right, blip is coming sooner rather than later. And for the first time I realize I am scared, terrified. For so long I've put off thoughts of giving birth, it just seemed like a distant moment which would never get here but now it is here and I am petrified. I've taken all of the classes, read the books, gone to every doctor's appointment but am I ready for this? Can I do this? I feel my heart rate beginning to increase and my breaths become short. Calm down Ana, you have to calm down; panicking is not good for you or the baby. _

_Christian feels the tension in my body and begins rubbing my belly. "Ana, what is it? Is it the baby?"_

_"No, he's fine." I struggle to get the words out around the tears which are now threatening to fall. Pull it together! I shout to myself in my head. But I can't, my thoughts are swirling now like a cyclone in my mind and I have to get them out or I feel like I will explode from fear. "Christian, I'm scared." My voice is barely a whisper. _

_"Baby…" He pulls me tighter to him. _

_"I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can handle it, giving birth to our son. Oh God Christian, what if I can't do this?" My body is shaking from fright and I feel tears streaming down my cheeks. This sudden wash of emotion is more than I can handle. I've been so sure of myself until now, what a time to get stage fright. Feeling absolutely ridiculous I cover my face with my hands, trying to hide my tears. _

_Christian moves so that he is lying in front of me and gently pries my hands away from where I am hiding myself. "Hey," he whispers before kissing each of my eyes, each of my cheeks and finally my lips. "Your lips are so soft when you cry," he says before kissing me again. Cupping my face in his hands he continues to kiss me, trying to convey something to me through his touch. His love, his adoration, his belief in my strength, are these the things he is trying to tell me? He always tells me how strong I am but right now I can't seem to find that strength within myself. "I'm right here Ana, I'm not going anywhere. Please baby, don't be frightened."_

_His words only make me sob harder. I want so much to be brave for him but I don't feel the courage of my convictions right now. I only want to wrap my body around Christian and lose myself. Forget the unknown I am facing and feel my husband's love for me. _

_"I need to feel you Christian." I murmur against his lips, between kisses. He pulls back and stares deep into my eyes. Silently I plead with him, I want him so much. This is the way we communicate with each other and I need to find my strength in our love. Closing his eyes he kisses me again, deeper this time and I know he is saying yes. With his lips on mine I quickly unbutton his white dress shirt and slide it off his shoulders, feeling his muscles ripple against my palms. He groans and my hands find his hair, tangling in his locks. Slowly he moves his body so that he is lying down. I watch him undo his belt and his pants, sliding them, along with his boxers down his legs and finally kicking them off to the foot of the bed. _

_"Come here sweet girl." He says holding his hands out for me. Carefully I move myself so that I am kneeling beside him. "Take my hands to support yourself." I comply and he helps to hold me up until I am straddling his hips. "Easy baby, take it slow." With one hand covering my belly and the other grasping my hip he guides me until I am sliding down and over him. I gasp at the full feeling of him inside of me. My body is receptive and sensitive to his touch. Closing my eyes I bite my bottom lip, absorbing all of the sensations at once. "Is it too much Ana?"_

_"No," I whimper. "I want you. Please."_

_"Move how you want Ana, only do what feels comfortable to you."_

_He cradles my belly in both of his hands now, running his hands freely over my expectant swell. "So beautiful…take my hands to support yourself." He takes my hands in his and I begin to move. Up and down, gliding back and forth, feeling every amazing inch of him as he fills me completely. This is healing and I need it so much. His body, his words, his belief in me, they all heal me. Being with him like this, I feel so alive and somehow I begin to find myself and the courage I need to bring our first child into the world. _

_ Sated by our lovemaking we both fall into a restful sleep, enveloped in each other's arms. For now blip is quiet and I am relaxed. My earlier anxiety is forgotten, replaced by bravery. Soon I will give birth to our son and Christian will be by my side through it all. He will always be with me and we can do anything as long as we are together. _


	24. Chapter 24

***I'm sorry it's taken so long, I'm not really done with this and want to write more but life has gotten in the way all weekend. I promise more is coming soon. My brain is exploding but life won't let me write fast enough. Enjoy! BTW, I love all of your reviews. Thank you all for reading. I know I say that all the time but I really mean it!***

_**I choose to have**__ my dinner at the dining room table, feeling a good bit better than I did earlier this morning. The nagging dull ache in my lower back is still prevalent but I decide not to worry Christian with such a trivial complaint. We enjoy Gail's finest pasta with Bolognese sauce. This is absolutely one of my favorite dishes she makes and I find myself scooping up the remaining sauce from my plate with a slice of baguette. I am licking my fingers when Christian chuckles at me, remarking about how hungry I must have been. I give him a smirk and take my last bite of bread before tasting the last bit of sauce from my pointer finger. _

_"I'm still eating for two Mr. Grey." I remind him._

_He drinks down the remainder of his red wine before scooting his chair back and placing his napkin on his empty plate. "Yes you are, and it is time for the two of you to get back to bed."_

_I raise my eyebrows at him suggestively but he shakes his head 'no', "to rest." He corrects me as he pulls my chair out and helps me to stand. When I stand a sharp pain shoots through my groin causing me to gasp and nearly double over. "What is it Ana?"_

_"Mmmmmm…" I make a sound somewhere between a moan and a grunt. "Nothing, I think it was a kick or something, I'm not sure."_

_"Was it a contraction?"_

_"No, I don't think so." There is a lingering throb where the pain was located. "I think I'd like to have a shower."_

_"Come on baby, I'll start one for you." Supporting me with one arm around my waist and the other holding my hands he walks me to our bedroom and into our palatial bathroom. "Sit down and I will run your shower." He says indicating towards the vanity chair. _

_"Christian I can stand and take off my clothes." He gives me a disapproving glare but says nothing. _

_ The warm water feels good against my skin, soothing away the cramps forming in my lower abdomen. I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight. While these are not full blown contractions I can't help but know that something is different this time. What I'm feeling is odd, more intense and painful. Before the Braxton Hicks were merely uncomfortable, never painful, these twinges I am feeling now are painful. Between washing my body and lathering my hair I notice Christian moving around the bathroom as if he is gathering items. What is he doing? He's packing your hospital bag, my subconscious tells me blatantly, because you are having the baby. I choose to ignore her, ignorance is bliss. It won't keep the inevitable from happening though, she reminds me. Letting the water wash over my head, rinsing the soap bubbles to my feet I tell her where she can take her harpy attitude. Once I am finished rinsing I turn the knobs, ceasing the flow of water from our gigantic shower head. I open the glass door and reach for a towel when something happens which stops me in my tracks. I feel the slightest trickle of fluid running down my leg and I know instantly that it is not water from my shower._

_Christian is standing at the sink placing my toothbrush in a duffle bag when he sees me. He looks to my face then down to the floor where a small puddle of liquid is forming. "Is it time Ana? Is he coming now?" His voice is surprisingly calm, laced with a mixture of wonder and confusion. _

_"I think…I think my water just broke. I think it's time Christian." I am still standing in the same spot, a larger puddle at my feet than before, partly from my body and partly from the fact that I am dripping from my shower. Oh God, it's time, blip is coming. Excitement courses through my veins, leaving no room for the fear which was there earlier. My baby is coming, we will finally be able to hold our son in our arms and kiss him for the first time._

_He shakes his head as if to break a spell and bring him back to the here and now. "Let's get you dried off and dressed." He grabs my nightdress from where I discarded it on the counter shoving it in my direction. I do not want to show up at the hospital in my night clothes. _

_"Please Christian, let me dress in at least one of my wrap dresses." I beg, trying to dry myself off quickly when another contraction starts. I drop the towel to the floor and hold my tightening belly, smiling through the soreness, just hold on blip, let mommy get to the hospital first. _

_"Anastasia, we don't have time!"_

_"He is not coming right now Christian, this could take hours." The twinge of pain passes and I stand full upright, determined to dress._

_ Christian helps me dress as if I were a small child then instructs me to sit on the bed while he finishes packing up mine and blips bags. Earlier I thought he was silly for starting to pack; now I'm grateful he did. He sets the bags on the floor beside my feet and reaches in his pocket for his cellphone. He presses a few buttons before placing he phone to his ear and barking out orders to Taylor, telling him to bring the SUV to the front of the building because we are going to the hospital. The phone call takes mere seconds. I imagine Taylor acting as cool and collected as ever but internally freaking out as much as Christian is on the inside and outside. He hits end before dialing the phone again._

_"Mom!" He calls out in panic when Grace answers the phone. "We are going to the hospital, Ana's water just broke. Yes, yes, no, we need to get going….Okay fine, make it quick."_

_He impatiently hands the phone to me and I put it to my ear. "Hello?"_

_"Ana, Christian says your water broke?" Despite Christian's maniac conversation Grace is calm, it takes a lot to ruffle her. _

_"It did, just a few minutes ago."_

_"Are you having contractions?"_

_"I've had a few, but I'm fine."_

_"And Christian, is he okay?" I stifle my laugh and choose not to tell her that he's freaking out although I'm sure she already knows._

_"Yes."_

_"He's just worried Ana, but all three of you will be fine." I smile, Grace has a comforting manner, she can soothe any storm to a simple rain shower. "We'll meet you at the hospital."_

_We say our goodbyes and I hand Christian back his phone. He places it back in his pocket and hurries me out the door. Taylor is waiting at the curb as ordered with the SUV running. _

_ On the way to the hospital we call my mom, Ray and Dr. Greene. Fortunately she is already at the hospital with another delivering patient and will be waiting for us at the reception desk. Mom starts crying when I tell her we are going to the hospital to have Ted, Ray hangs up immediately and says he is on his way. I beg him to be careful on his trip and he promises to be, I swear I can hear him choking back tears when he tells me goodbye. Oh Daddy, I love you so much. Christian squeezes my hand and, I move my eyes to gaze into his._

_"Ray's on his way?"_

_I nod my head, "Mom says she is coming but Bob has to stay for work." Mom wanted to book a flight but Christian of course insisted that he would send his plane. Thankfully Mom conceded without any argument, making it easier on me. The last thing I want to deal with right now is strife between anyone. I hope Ray and Mom make it in time for Ted's birth. I know Christian's family will be here but I hadn't realized until this very moment how important it is to me to have my parents here too. Please wait for your Grammy and Gramps to be here little blip, they are so anxious to meet you too. I silently plead with my baby while rubbing my expectant belly. By this time tomorrow he will be in my arms, it seems so surreal._

_"What are you thinking Ana?" Christian asks, squeezing my hand in his again._

_"I'm hoping that Mom and Ray make it here before blip does."_

_He unbuckles his seatbelt and slides over to the middle, covering my belly with his other hand. "They will baby, they will." _

_Looking up into his anxious gray eyes I see his love for me. I lean my head to rest on his shoulder, if I could just hold onto this moment for a little longer, I think. Everything is about to change, the minute that we pull into the hospital parking lot things will move faster than they are right now. I savor this tranquil moment, wishing it could last. _

_**True to my prediction**__ the next hour is a blur of activities. Dr. Greene checks us in and the hospital staff usher us back. Thankfully we have filled out most of the paper work ahead of time so I am taken to an examining room where I am poked, prodded, dressed in a stylish green hospital gown and hooked up to an iv before moved to my own room in labor and delivery. We saw Grace and Carrick upon entering the lobby but I haven't seen them since. Christian has not left my side once though, his voice has been a lulling calm for me to cling to while I listen to the nurses spouting off medical jargon and filling out charts. Finally Dr. Greene tells me that my water has indeed broken and my contractions appear to be steady and strong. I am progressing at a good rate and blip is doing fine. Before leaving she allows us to hear blips heart beat and see him on the ultrasound machine she has wheeled in just to ensure that he everything looks as it should. We are both watch and listen silently, processing the fact that he will be here with us soon. Lastly she asks if I would like an epidural when I am able to have one. This has been a point of contingency between Christian and me. Not wanting to see me in pain he has insisted I take one, I on the other hand do not want one, I tell her I will let her know and she reminds me that there is a point where I can no longer have one, she also ensures me that my birth plan is on file and that she will be back to check in on me. _

_ Once Dr. Greene is gone we hear a soft knock on the door. "Come in," I call and the door opens revealing Grace, Mia and Kate._

_"I hope you don't mind I brought these ladies with me." Grace grins._

_I beam, happy to see Mia and my best friend. "I don't mind at all." _

_"How are you feeling Ana?" Mia asks as they all come to stand beside my bed. Christian is sitting in the chair on the other side which he has pulled right up to my bedside. He is holding my hand in his and while he may not admit it I can feel it shaking ever so slightly. I rub my thumb over his, reassuring him that I am fine. He presses his lips to my temple and I briefly close my eyes before reopening them to focus on my visitors._

_"Okay, Dr. Greene says everything looks good and now we just wait."_

_"If you feel up to walking dear, it might hurry things along. First babies can be stubborn though; he's all snug and warm inside of his mommy and may not be eager to come out." I smile at Grace, I love her. "Are your Mom and Ray on their way?"_

_I tell her about calling them on the way here and how excited they both were and how I hope blip waits for them to arrive before he does. "I'm sure they'll make it in time." She assures me. "Well, we'll go sit in the waiting area and allow you two to get settled. Remember walk, and get some rest if you can. My little Grandson will be keeping you awake soon enough." She pats my other hand and I tell her I will walk and promise to rest. Kate and Mia each bid me goodbye. I encourage them both to go home and sleep for the night, promising them each a phone call when things begin to progress. Reluctantly they both agree to leave on those terms._

_ I love each and every member of our family but I am grateful for time alone, just the two of us before Teddy is born. The clock on the wall reads ten o'clock and I know we are in for a long night. Any signs of the contractions I was having before arriving at the hospital have slowly subsided. Leaving me with dull cramps which are not intolerable my any measure, I keep thinking this should be happening faster, but if Dr. Greene is not worried then I should not be either. _

_"Do you want to walk Ana?" Christian asks from beside me. _

_I decide moving is a good thing so with his help I stand from my bed and holding the iv stand with one hand and his with the other we begin wearing a path up and down the maternity wards long hallways. He walks patiently with me, there is a meditative silence between us, both engrossed in our own thoughts. It is comforting though, and I find myself leaning on him the longer we walk, my day finally catching up with me. _

_ After an hour of walking I am beginning to feel tired, my belly is heavy to carry and my contractions have not strengthened by much. Begrudgingly I give in to Christian's requests that I go lie down. I want so badly to hurry this along but my body feels worn. I am not back in bed long before a nurse who tells us her name is Karen comes in to check my vitals and monitor how blip is doing. Apparently everything is still moving along fine, she writes down something on the clipboard at the foot of my bed and leaves us. _

_ Worry lines giving away Christian's unease mar his face, creasing at the corners of his eyes. _

_"Hey," I whisper to him, pulling him from his contemplative state. "I'm fine, the baby's fine." _

_He nods and kisses my lips. "I know."_

_"But you're worried." I watch him look away I can see him struggling with himself internally. "Tell me…"_

_He sighs deeply before speaking. "I can't control this Ana, what is happening to you is beyond my control and I feel so helpless, unable to do anything for you."_

_My Fifty, he needs control and this situation is out of his hands, I get it and I know he is scared. I lift my free hand and run my fingers along his strong jawline. The hospital room is quiet with the exception of the monitor the nurse hooked back up to watch my contractions, allowing me to hear the fear in his voice. "You are doing everything for me Christian, being here with me, holding my hand. It's all I need right now."_

_He gazes upon me with tired eyes, drained of all color, faded shades of gray left behind. _

_"Come and lie with me. Hold me please." I whisper to him. He does not hesitate to kick off his shoes and climb in my hospital bed, pulling me close and laying one hand over my belly and resting the other around the top of my head. And just like the last time we shared a hospital bed we both drift off into a tranquil sleep. "I love you Christian." I tell him as my eyes begin to close. I can tell by his breathing that he is already dreaming deeply but I know his heart is hearing my words. _


	25. Chapter 25

I had one reader ask why this and when am I going back to Detroit. I'm just hung up on this from my Mother's Day post and want to finish it. I've always wanted to write Ted's birth and I've finally got my mojo going, I don't want to lose it. ;) I promise we'll be back in Detroit very soon. I'm posting this chapter now b/c my next one will be from Christian's POV, it will be Ted's birth.

_**Three quick knocks on**__ my hospital room door rouse me from my sleep, reminding me where I am and what is happening. Blip, I'm getting ready to meet my little blip. The light above my bed is the only one illuminating the room and Christian is still asleep beside me, I shake his arm gently causing him to stir._

_"Christian, wake up." _

_He blinks rapidly taking in his surroundings. "What is it Ana? Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine, there's someone at the door though." _

_He moves from where he is laying, standing beside my bed, and I call for whoever is at the door to come in. Nurse Karen enters, flipping on the lights, and greets us both with her smiling face. She is middle aged with short blonde hair, dark eyes, a kind face, a soft voice and a gentle demeanor. "How are you feeling Mrs. Grey?" She asks as she sets about to complete whatever tasks are necessary. _

_"Good, I've been sleeping. I walked for an hour before."_

_She smiles at me and nods before placing the blood pressure cuff around my arm. After taking my temperature and checking the monitor she reaches for the clipboard at the end of my bed again. "How are your contractions?"_

_"They're just mild cramps, nothing too uncomfortable." I was able to sleep through them without any medication so they can't be bad at all. I look over at the clock and notice that it is just after midnight, meaning I've been here for a little over two hours. Somehow I feel like this is going to take forever. _

_"That's good." She finishes jotting a few things down and tells me to call her if I need her otherwise she will be back to check on me in a few hours. I thank her and turn my attention back to Christian. _

_"Do you want to sleep more baby?" He asks rubbing small circles on my hand. I yawn and nod my head. He climbs back in bed with me and before long I am wrapped in his arms, sleeping again._

_ A sharp pain shooting through my abdomen wakes me and I grip Christian's arm tightly. My eyes are now wide open, all thoughts of sleep forgotten. Abruptly he sits up, shaken by the way I awoke him. _

_"Ana?"_

_"Christian…again…" I breathe out and in, trying to handle the tension across my belly. _

_"Breathe Ana, I'm here, I'm here." His voice is calm even though I know he is anything but. I ride out the pain until it is gone before looking up into his face. _

_"What time is it?"_

_He looks over to the clock on the wall, "Just before two baby, do you want me to call the nurse?"_

_"No, it's passed." I lean my head against his chest, allowing him to hold me upright. I cup my belly and he places his hand over mine. _

_"Do you think he's finally coming?"_

_"I hope so; he seems to be taking his own time doesn't he?" I laugh trying to add levity to the situation. Christian kisses my temple and holds me head to his shoulder with his free hand. My fingers trace a line up and down the front of his black t-shirt, both of us depending on touch to soothe, appeasing our anxiety and fears. We sit like this until I feel another contraction start. He holds me, encouraging me to squeeze his hand and breathe with him. These weren't that far apart, it couldn't have been more than two minutes at the most. "I want to move Christian, I need to walk." My body is becoming restless, staying in this position and continuing to endure the painful discomfort is no longer an option. I want to move. _

_ We begin our regimen of walking slowly up and down the hall again. Stopping when I feel a contraction coming on to hold each other and breathe together before moving again. We are making our tenth lap around the nurses' station when I hear my name begin called. I recognize the voice immediately, Daddy. I turn to see Ray moving at a hurried pace in my direction. When he reaches me I throw my arms around him, stepping away from Christian momentarily, he holds my iv stand while Ray holds me._

_"Hey there Annie, how are you holding up?"_

_"Fine Daddy, better now that you're here." I try to hold back my tears, I'm so happy to have Ray here with me. It's almost as if I've been holding my breath waiting for him to arrive, not wanting him to miss the birth of his grandson. He releases me and I hold my iv stand while he reaches out to shake Christian's hand. They greet one another, exchanging short pleasantries. Christian is not full of chatter and small talk; he's too distracted to be much beyond cordial. Ray tells us he is going to visit with Grace and Carrick in the waiting area and will be back to check on me. Now I'm just waiting for my mother to come. Only a little bit longer my blip, Grammy will be here soon. _

_**The morning sun is**__ beginning to dawn, casting an orange hue through my hospital room. We have not slept since the contractions began to strengthen around two, I doze in between pains, they are consistent coming every five minutes or so and exhaustion is setting in. Dr. Greene checks me and I have dilated to five centimeters. In eight hours I have only made three centimeters of progress. This entire process is becoming discouraging. My body is working so hard only to go nowhere. Christian begs me to allow the doctor to order an epidural, finally I concede._

_ I grip his hand and lean forward into his body, sitting on the edge of my bed while the anesthesiologist makes quick work of administering the needle along with the pain medication. A whimper escapes my lips and sweat beads on my forehead. _

_"I'm right here Ana, look at me baby." Worry washes through Christian's voice showing his powerlessness and how feeble it causes him to feel. Keeping my eyes locked on his I grind my teeth, working through the needle as well as the pain from the contractions. _

_ Finally after what feels like an eternity numbness begins to spread down the lower half of my body. "This will take the edge off of the contractions Mrs. Grey." I faintly hear the voice of the male doctor behind me mixed in with the beeps, and two familiar voices sounding just beyond the door to my room. "You can lie back now ma'am." He tells me and Christian along with Nurse Karen guides me back to lie down on my bed. _

_"Mrs. Grey, my shift is about to end. Nurse Lauren will be taking over my patients. I will bring her in to meet you."_

_Christian thanks Nurse Karen for everything she has done to help us before she leaves the room. When she leaves I hear her speak to someone at the doorway and look over to see my mom entering the room with Grace. _

_"Baby girl!" She exclaims rushing over to me and carefully wrapping me in a hug. Oh, Mommy! It's so good to have her here with me. Everyone is here now blip, you can come now, I tell my baby silently. _

_"Mom, I'm so glad you're here."_

_"I got here as soon as I could baby girl. I couldn't miss seeing my first grandchild enter this world. How are you feeling?"_

_I know she cares, they all do but I am getting tired of being asked how I feel. Geeze, what brought on that snappy mood? Oh yes, over eight hours of labor and very little sleep. I plaster on a smile and tell her that I'm doing fine. _

_"Did you let them give you anything for the pain Ana?" Grace asks with concern on her face. _

_"She just had an epidural." Christian interjects, bringing the hand he is holding to his lips he presses a warm kisses to each of my knuckles. _

_"Good, you should try to rest then." She turns her gaze to Christian and I know she wants to say something to him but is unsure of how to approach him. "Son, I know this is wearing. Would you like to take a break? Carla and I could sit with Ana." _

_My body tenses my eyes flicker to Christian in panic. No, please don't leave me. I can't do this without you Christian. I need you. _

_"I'm not leaving her side Mom." He says with determination. _

_"It is okay if you need a break Christian." My mom tries. _

_"No. Don't worry baby, I'm staying right here with you." He presses a hand to my belly, rubbing it, soothing me as I feel my muscles begin to tighten. The monitor shows that I am indeed having a contraction. The sharp pain is not there anymore but I still feel it, my grip on Christian's hand tightens. "Breathe Ana," he encourages me softly. Grace and my mom exchange worried glances but wisely choose to say nothing more. _

_**I have been in**__ labor for twelve hours. Dr. Greene checks me again and I have made no progress. Christian reaches over to my cheek and wipes a lone tear away with his thumb as it rolls down my face. This is so frustrating, why am I not moving forward? Why is blip not coming? Mom, Grace, Kate and Mia have been in and out of the room, all visiting for a few minutes each as the morning has worn on. I am tired, exhausted and I just want to sleep. The contractions are wearing on me because I know they are not helping me to progress. _

_"Mrs. Grey I would like to start a Pitocin drip, hopefully that will help you to dilate and move your labor along." Dr. Greene tells me. I agree, praying that this will be what I need to bring blip into the world quicker. _

_Nurse Lauren starts my Pitocin drip and offers me more ice chips which I gladly take. My mouth is so dry and I am hungry but not allowed to eat. Kate comes in offering to give Christian a break. He abruptly cuts her off, refusing to leave my side. I give Kate an apologetic look, she nods in understanding and tells me she will be back to check on me. I love my family and friend but this feels so personal, I only want to share this time with my husband. I work through contraction after contraction, they become stronger and more frequent due to the Pitocin and I am hopeful for progress._

_My hopes are dashed though when Dr. Greene checks me after two hours of Pitocin. "Mrs. Grey, I'd like for you consider a cesarean delivery." She says with a matter of fact tone._

_"No, please, I want to push my baby out." I beg her, looking between her and Christian. _

_"Ana,"_

_"Christian, no! Please I don't want that."_

_"Mrs. Grey, I'm willing to let you labor for a while longer but if I don't see any progress a cesarean may be the only option." Christian shoots Dr. Greene an icy glare and I wait for him to unleash on her. He does not approve of her letting me wait; he wants her to perform the cesarean now. My heart is in my throat though; this is not what I want. Unable to talk I sit dumbfounded while Dr. Greene checks my blood pressure, heart rate and temperature. She tells me I am running a slight fever, just over one hundred and blips heart right is marginally elevated. Attempting to process this information I feel my head swimming just as another contraction hits. _

_"Please Ana," Christian begs._

_"Let me try Christian, give me more time." I grit my teeth and a few tears fall. He holds my hand with his other arm behind me, rubbing the small of my back. _

_"Okay baby, okay…" He coos. Thankfully Dr. Greene leaves the room, allowing us to be alone again. Once the contraction passes Christian cups my face in his hands and kisses my lips adoringly. "Just think about it Ana." He whispers. Thank you for not arguing further with me Christian. _

_"I will," I nod and murmur back to him. I am tired, so tired. _

_ When Dr. Greene comes back to check my contractions have slowed to the point of almost being nonexistent. My cheeks are tear stained and I feel disheartened despite the reassuring words from my mom and Grace. Christian wears a look of exhaustion which matches my own. _

_-_Mr. Grey, you've been in labor for fifteen hours now. Your contractions have slowed in spite of the Pitocin. We need to do a C-section-the baby is in distress." Dr. Greene is adamant.

"About fucking time!" Christian growls at her. Dr. Greene ignores him.

"Christian, quite." I squeeze his hand. My voice is low and weak and everything is fuzzy-the walls, the machines, the green-gowned people…I just want to go to sleep. But I have something important to do first…Oh yes. "I wanted to push him out myself."

"Mrs. Grey, please, C-section."

"Please, Ana," Christian pleads.

"Can I sleep then?"

"Yes, baby, yes." It's almost a sob, and Christian kisses my forehead."

"I want to see the Lil' Blip."

"You will."

"Okay," I whisper.

"Finally," Dr. Greene mutters, "Nurse page the anesthesiologist, Dr. Miller, prep for a C-section. Mrs. Grey we are going to move you to the OR."

"Move?" Christian and I speak at once.

"Yes. Now."

And suddenly we're moving-quickly, the lights on the ceiling blurring into one long bright strip as I'm whisked across the corridor.


	26. Chapter 26

****This is it everyone, after this chapter we are back to Detroit. Thank you for riding along this little detour with me. Sorry for the late update, I've been reading a great book and unable to put it down. Tangled by Emma Chase. Loved it! Seriously funny smut ;)

On with the chapter...

_"Mr. Grey, you'll need to change into scrubs." I hear Dr. Greene's voice but her words fail to register. Ana, I need to be with my Ana. She is scared. What in the hell is that doctor droning on and on about._

_"What?" I growl back at her in agitation._

_"Now, Mr. Grey." Now what? Then it hits me and I squeeze Ana's hand tightly in mine before letting go. I hear her calling my name in panic as they wheel her further and further away from me. I stand momentarily frozen like a statue, my feet refusing to move me as I watch the team of nurses and doctors wheeling her down the hall. Mom, I need to see her. Finding my sense I dart back down the hall, slamming past anyone who gets in my way until I am in the waiting room. Mom and Dad both stand at once when they see me. I can see Ray and Carla jumping to their feet but Mom, she's all I see. _

_"They've taken her for a cesarean." My voice sounds distant and dull. I'm not even sure of the words which are coming from my mouth. _

_"Christian is she okay? Is the baby okay?" She grabs both of my arms in her hands, her eyes searching mine in fear._

_"I…I…I don't know. They said the baby is in distress and something about me putting on scrubs. I'm so scared Mom, I don't know."_

_I hear Carla cry out in shock but cannot turn my attention away from the woman standing in front of me. Guide me Mom; tell me what to do because without Ana I am lost. She takes my hand and begins pulling me. "Now Christian!" She shouts and I follow her without another word. _

_ I slip the blue shirt over my own and rush out from the small room to the OR where Ana is waiting for me. "Be strong for her Christian, she needs for you to be strong." My mother's words echo over and over again in my mind as I dash down the hall. This isn't about you Grey, this is about your wife and your baby. Be strong for Ana. _

_ When I open the doors the sounds and sights of what is happening hit me all at once. The room is crowded and moving with hurried activity. When my sights settle on Ana though it all dissipates and I focus on her. She is lying on the table with a screen across her chest, her face frozen with fright. She is alone and I have to get to her. I move past the nurses and doctors until I am beside her head. Her distressed blue eyes flick in my direction and she reaches to grab my hand. _

_"I'm frightened," she whispers hoarsely and I feel my chest crushing in on itself. I want to scream, curse, cry, take her and leave this place, never look back, but I can't. My only option is to get her through this. _

_"No, baby, no. I'm here. Don't be frightened. Not my strong Ana." I press my lips to her forehead. She begins questioning me about what's wrong. I'm scared out of my mind. If I lose her it will kill me. I will fucking die because a life without her isn't worth living. I can't let her know that though. I won't burden her with my fears. _

_"Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. Baby, you're just exhausted." Please God, let me convince her not to worry about me. I never pray but in this moment I am praying so hard. Please God, don't take my wife away from me. Dr. Greene is saying something about adjusting her epidural and her having another contraction but that is all superfluous to me. Ana is squeezing my hand with the strength of ten fucking men, all the while her gaze is firmly locked onto mine. _

_Slowly her grip loosens and the doctor asks her if she can feel something. Ana answers back telling her 'no' and Dr. Greene gives Dr. Miller the go ahead to move forward with the procedure. _

_"I love you," she whispers to me. _

_"Oh Ana, I love you too, so much." My voice begins to quiver, a sob threatening to break through. Raising my head I risk a glance over the curtain. I am unable to move my eyes from the sight before me. Ana asks me what is happening but I can't speak as I watch the doctors remove a tiny, perfect, human being from my wife's body. Two small arms and two small legs, perfectly made begin to move around stiffly. His tiny eyes are wide open before his mouth is._

_"Suction! Good…" someone says, but it's a distant sound to the one which meets my ears next._

_That tiny baby boy, our blip, lets out a piercing cry, angry to have been removed from his mother's body, Ana's body. _

_"You have a boy, Mrs. Grey. Check his Apgar."_

_"Apgar is nine."_

_This medical jargon makes no sense to me and right now it doesn't matter._

_"Can I see him?" Ana gasps from beside me as the doctor holds the baby out to me, wrapped in a blue hospital blanket. For a brief moment I stand stark still._

_"Your son Mr. Grey." Dr. Greene says handing him to me. Awkwardly I take the bundle that is our blip into my arms. Supporting his head with my hand I observe his pink skin covered in white pulp and blood. For the third time in less than twenty four hours my chest feels like it will burst only this time it feels much heavier, this is so much more than anything I have ever felt. I move so I am back beside Ana and hold him down so that she can see him. My eyes are filled with tears, stinging as I hold them back, my stare has not wavered from the baby in my arms. _

_"Here's your son, Mrs. Grey." I whisper to her, my throat clenching around my words. _

_"Our son, he's beautiful." And for the first time since our blip arrived I look into her bright blue eyes, filled with love and wonder, all of the previous pain and fear forgotten._

_"He is." I agree and kiss his forehead. His eyes are tightly closed. Little Theodore Raymond Grey has fallen fast asleep in my arms. "Thank you, Ana." I say before leaning down to kiss her forehead this time._

_**Over an hour passes, **__dragging on like an eternity, as our baby is taken to the nursery and Ana is taken to recovery. _

_"Christian, please go tell our parents we are okay." Ana pleads with me as she lays in the recovery room. I don't want to leave her though, I already feel like a part of me is missing, not having our son with us. I can't be without Ana too, her body is trembling and it scares me. Dr. Greene insists she is recovering, that everything is quite normal and that she will be in her own room soon. _

_I squeeze her hand and bring it to my lips to kiss. "I don't want to leave you Ana."_

_"Just for a minute to tell them, please," she says again. I know both of our parents must be worried. _

_Finally I nod and agree to go, promising to be right back. _

_ Upon walking into the waiting room I see my mother with her head down, resting in her hands, Dad is rubbing her back. When she hears my footsteps against the hospital floor she looks up, her weary eyes widening. _

_"Christian!" She calls out my name and I hold out my arms just in time to catch her. _

_I brush her hair with my hand, "She's okay Mom, she and blip are both fine." I tell her smoothing her hair. Carla begins weeping silently and I see Ray pat her arm, both of them smiling broadly._

_I feel my Dad clap me on the back firmly, "Congratulations son."_

_I tell them that Ana is in recovery and that I will come get them once she is in her own room. After letting me go Mom wipes her eyes with her white linen handkerchief. "Good, I'm going to go call everyone and let them know. Christian, I'm so proud of you both."_

_For the fourth time today my chest tightens, it's so full it feels like it might explode. I shake the feeling and speak with Carla and Ray briefly before going back to Ana. _

_**Ana is resting quietly, **__a permanent smile painted across her beautiful lips, as she leans against the crisp white pillows which I have placed behind her head. I sit beside her, just watching her. She amazes me, this beautiful woman, my wife who created our beautiful baby with me. Whenever I don't think I could possibly love her anymore, I do. _

_"Happy?"_

_"So Happy." She gives me a tired smile, lifting the corners of her mouth just a slight bit more._

_A soft knock sounds at the door before opening. One of the nurses wheels in our son. He is lying in a clear plastic hospital bassinet, wrapped in a blue blanket with a tiny pink and blue stripped cap on his head. She pushes him over to me and I watch in wonder as he opens his deep blue eyes to look at me. _

_"Would you like to feed him Mrs. Grey?" The nurse asks and I see Ana's face light up even more. _

_"Yes, please."_

_I stand and move back to the head of Ana's bed. First the nurse adjusts a nursing pillow around Ana's waist. Ana listens intently while she explains how it may be more comfortable to use the pillow while feeding due to her incision. Then the nurse lifts Ted carefully and places him in his mother's arms, for the first time. Tears begin to fall from her eyes and I watch her attempt to dash them away quickly with one hand. With a calm patience the nurse instructs Ana on how to feed him and in no time he has latched and is nursing contentedly at Ana's breast. She watches him incredulously, almost unable to believe that he is here. _

_"Look Daddy, look how well he eats." _

_The nurse moves away quietly, leaving us, after telling Ana she will be back to check on them soon. It's as if Ana was meant to be a mother, my son's mother; from this very beginning she knows what he needs and how to care for him. I take my seat back at Ana's side and tentatively reach my hand to touch our son as he nurses. Instinctively he grabs my index finger, wrapping his tiny hand around it tightly. I want to say something to her but I can't, the words are lost. _

_Another knock sounds at the door and I look up to see our parents. They all stop, standing still. Ana looks up from our son and smiles at them. "Come and meet our son, Theodore Raymond Grey, Teddy for short."_

_They all move in unison until they are surrounding the bed. "He's beautiful baby girl." Carla says. Right behind her sentiment is Rays, "I'm so proud of you Annie." He tells her trying to choke back his tears. _

_Carla and Ray echo my emotions. He is beautiful and I am so proud of my wife. For as long as I live I will protect these two people. I bring my other arm up touch Ana's cheek. She turns her face towards mine._

_"I'm so proud of you Mommy." Leaning in I kiss her lips chastely._

_"I'm proud of you too Daddy." She whispers against my lips before letting her head fall against my shoulder, and we both sit like this. Gazing at our son, watching him as our family watches us. _


	27. Chapter 27

***Back to Detroit. I included a little bit from the last chapter in Detroit to help jog your memories as to where we were. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. Thank you all for your reviews!***

In a brazen move I turn to my back and take one of his hands in mine. With no hesitation I direct it to my sex and urge him to move his hand inside of my panties. He gives me free reign to do with him what I like.

"Show me what you want Anastasia," He growls and whispers at the same time. With his hand pressed against my moist flesh I remove mine and hook both of my thumbs at the side of my panties. Quickly I slide them down to my knees before using my legs to help me remove them completely. Christian has his head propped on his other hand, keeping his right hand where I left it. Gently I feel his fingers pet me, just on the outside, petting me softly. "Is this what you want?"

"No." I whimper with need and place my hand on top of his again, directing him until he slides two of his fingers inside of me.

"So soft…so wet…so warm…" He breathes leaning down and placing moist kisses against my shoulder blade. I know he is trying to control himself and slow down his urge to climb inside of me. "Squeeze my fingers baby."

"What?" I moan in confusion.

"Let me feel you Ana, squeeze my fingers." He tells me again, attempting to clarify the meaning of his words.

I concentrate on the movement of my pelvic muscles and attempt to compress them. Am I doing what he is asking? I feel like I am but how can I be sure? He has never asked me to do this before.

"Tighter baby, make it tighter."

I almost furrow my brow in concentration, trying to constrict the muscles of my walls around his two fingers.

"That's it baby." He croons encouraging me. His kisses trail along my shoulder blade once more then up my neck before finding my mouth. I feel his teeth nibble my bottom lip before releasing it. Suddenly his fingers are gone and he is moving over me. It is when I feel his erection pressing into my thigh that I realize his boxers are gone although I am unsure as to when he divested himself of them. He frames my face with his hands; resting his elbow at either side of my head he supports his weight. "When I push myself inside of you Ana I want you to squeeze me just like you did my fingers." He tells me. Even though it is dark I can feel his eyes burning into mine.

Slowly, deliciously I feel him pushing himself into me. It is painfully slow almost as if he will never fully be inside of me, it will take eons for him to fill me I think. But finally he is there, filling me to the hilt and I cannot help but throw my head back and groan a garbled version of his name.

"Now Ana, tighten yourself around my body."

Using every ounce of concentration I did before squeeze, narrowing my walls until he is snugly inside of me and all I feel his him. I feel every part of him. "I'm going to move baby, keep your muscles constricted, I want you to feel the sensation of all of me."

So I do, I keep my muscles tight around him has he pulls out and pushes back in, setting a divine, slow, steady rhythm. I don't move my legs around his waist, I keep my knees slightly bent and my legs spread open for him. He makes no move to kiss me and for that I am glad. I know if I break my concentration my muscles will go slack and I want to do this for him. I feel myself beginning to build and I know it won't be long before I come.

"Let go with me Ana." He growls suddenly and I do. I feel him exploding inside of me as I detonate around him. We moan and whimper in unison just as our bodies find release in complete and utter harmony. Tremors shoot through my body and find myself shaking with each after shock. Gently he pulls his body out of mine, breaking our physical unity. Instead of waiting for him to draw me against himself I move into his arms and lay my head on his chest. Wordlessly our breathing returns to normal and we both drift back to sleep. Both comforted by one another and sated from our lovemaking.

**Bright morning sun breaks **into our hotel room, lighting streaks of hope across the walls, bed and carpet. Reaching out I find the other side of the bed is empty, only cool linen sheets meet my grasp, not the warm body of my husband. I hear the shower turning off and turn the covers down before swinging my legs out of bed and placing my feet on the floor. I reach for my discarded robe, lying carelessly across the chair and put it on. When I open the bathroom door a billowing cloud of steam greets me, I wave it aside with my hand to see Christian stepping out from the shower and reaching for a towel.

"Is Ted awake?" He asks, wrapping the towel around his waist and securing it near his navel.

"No, not yet," I answer. "Do you have another meeting this morning?"

"I did but I was able to cancel. The plane is being readied as we speak for our return trip home. We are to arrive at the airport in three hours."

I thought we weren't leaving until later this evening; this is a sudden change of plans. "Oh…we are going home early?"

Christian steps past me to stand in front of the sink he picks up his shaving cream and begins rubbing a thick lather over his face. "Yes, Ros was able to handle the conference scheduled for this morning over the phone so there is no need to stay here any longer. She emailed early this morning to iron out the arrangements."

"Oh," is all I can say. After what happened between us last night I thought he had found a peaceable calm but I am now sensing an urgency to get away from Detroit and what it has revealed to him all together. I hear Teddy beginning to stir through the open door. His gurgles and jabbers meeting my ears.

"Ted's awake, Ana, would you please feed him? Then I will bathe him while you dress." He asks as he runs his razor under the hot tap water before running it down his cheek in a long, smooth, stroke. His eyes remain trained on the mirror in front of him.

Baffled by this change of mood I nod and answer 'yes,' before disappearing to tend to Ted. He is unyielding and determined in his decision to return back to Seattle promptly. Please don't shut out everything you have learned here Christian and please don't shut out Leslie. She doesn't deserve it. I open my robe as I sit in the chair and allow Teddy to have his breakfast. The streaks of light coming through the window are now dimmer as the sun shifts its position in the sky, reducing the feeling of hope previously felt in the room.

**The plane touches down** at SeaTac just before noon. Christian's bleak mood appeared to lift the further we flew away from Detroit, becoming carefree the closer we got to the west coast. The beginning of the flight was dismal with only a few necessary words spoken between us, his tone was clipped ill-mannered with the staff, very much like how he once was. I didn't like it at all, not one bit and I planned to tell him that once we were alone. Now he is smiling, cordial, and jabbering at Ted as we taxi down the runway to where I assume Taylor is waiting with the car. Talk about a total transformation.

"Taylor, please stop by Grey Enterprises before going home." Christian says to Taylor from the backseat of the SUV as we pull out from the airport.

"Yes, sir," Taylor confirms and continues on with his driving. Perhaps Christian is more at ease because he has Taylor back with him again, I muse. Taylor has a calming effect on him, I believe due to the fact that Christian trusts Taylor more than any other person he employs.

"Why are we stopping there?" I ask fiddling with one of Ted's hands. He is between us both in his car seat.

"I need to check in with Ros about the teleconference she held this morning. It should only take a few moments, you and Ted can remain in the car with Taylor if you'd like."

"Okay," I waver for a second, conscientious of his wavering mood. "Christian, is everything alright?"

"Perfectly fine, why do you ask?" Avoidance, oh boy, here we go.

"You just seemed so upset this morning and now…well you suddenly seem fine."

He regards me with a judicious air before answering. "I'm just happy to be home."

The SUV pulls to stop outside of Christian's building and he kisses Ted and I both in turn before exiting the vehicle, promising to only be a moment. A chilly rain is falling from the gray sky, such a contrast from the white snow which blanketed Detroit the entire time we were there.

"Did you and Gail have an enjoyable vacation?" I ask Taylor, turning my attention away from my wayward thoughts.

He looks at me through the rearview mirror and smiles genuinely. "We did Mrs. Grey, thank you for asking."

"It's going to take some getting used to calling her Mrs. Taylor." I smile back at him. "I'm so happy for both of you though."

"Thank you ma'am and if I may say, I'm very happy myself."

Taylor's good mood and love for Gail serves to lift my spirits. Seeing him this happy is truly a joy to observe. I'm excited to get back home and see Gail so that I can congratulate her myself.

Half an hour later the large glass doors swing open and Christian darts out into the rain. When he opens the back door to slide in a cold whoosh of air sweeps in behind him, "Home, Taylor," he says.

"Yes, Mr. Grey," Taylor looks over his shoulder and signals before pulling out into the busy lunchtime traffic.

Christian is rubbing his hands together in attempt to warm them. "Everything went well with the conference?" I ask him.

"It did. Are you hungry? Would you like to stop for lunch?"

"Yes and no, I'd like to go home. We can eat there and Ted will want to eat soon as well." Teddy gurgles at me before smiling. I swear it's like he understands my words sometimes. "We'll be home soon sweet boy and then Mommy will feed you." I tell him stroking his soft cheek with my index finger.

I look up to see Christian watching us. "Ana, I…" he starts to say something but fails to finish.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm just glad to be going home."

I know he is, I am happy to be going home too but that is not the crux of what he wants to say to me. As we merge onto I-5 heading north I look out the window and watch the water blurred scene of uncovered trees zoom past my window. Should I pressure him to get to the bottom of why he rushed home so quickly? There's really not much a point to that because deep down, I already know.

**Gail scoops Ted up** into her arms when we enter the foyer, planting kisses all over his baby face. He giggles at her in response. "Oh, how I've missed you my darling sweet boy!" She exclaims before peppering him with kisses again. "Welcome home Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, lunch is ready for you in the kitchen." She turns her attention from Teddy for a brief moment before doting over him again.

"Thank you Gail, I'm sure he's missed you too." I look on, my baby boy, surrounded by love. "Would you like to change him for me before I feed him?"

"Of course Mrs. Grey, I'd love to. Come my sweet Ted, Mrs. Taylor will change your diaper before you have your lunch."

Her good mood is infectious and I can't help but be swept up in it. It is a welcome change from the solemn and thoughtful manner we all dealt with in Detroit.

"Mr. Grey, I'll take your bags up stairs for you." Taylor moves past us with our suitcases in tow.

"Thank you Taylor," I call after him. Christian and I are left standing in the foyer, everyone else having departed in their own directions.

"Lunch?" He asks.

"Yes, I'm starving." Taking my damp cloak from around my shoulders he hangs it on one of the coat hooks before placing his hand on the small of my back and leading me to the kitchen.

Halfway through my sandwich Gail brings Ted in the kitchen. "Would you like to nurse him Mrs. Grey? Or I have some carrots ready for him if you would rather he eat that first?"

"Carrots will be fine Gail." She places him in his highchair beside my seat and brings me the bowl of pureed steamed carrots as I tie his bib around his neck. The moment Teddy sees his blue bowl filled with carrots accompanied by his baby spoon he squeals with delight.

"Do you need anything else right now Ana?"

"No, we're good," I smile at her and scoop a tad of carrots on Ted's spoon before offering it to his eager mouth, open and waiting like a baby bird in a nest. Gail exits the room, leaving the three of us to our lunch.

"Will you call your parents and let them know we are home?" I ask Christian, trying to make conversation.

"Once we are finished with lunch. I was hoping we could have them over tomorrow for dinner, if that would be alright with you?"

"I would love to." I tell him. Perhaps having Grace and Carrick here will help Christian to sort through everything he recently learned about his past. Even though he may not say it in so many words I feel that he wants to tell his mother about Leslie and what she shared with him. With that I watch Christian become more at ease. He begins talking with Ted and takes over feeding him to allow me to finish my lunch. Teddy happily eats every bite of carrots his father offers him until the bowl is scraped clean.

"Time to clean you up young man so you don't get carrots all over Mommy," Christian says wiping Ted down with a warm damp cloth. He removes his bib and sets it on the tray before lifting Ted and placing him in my arms. "Would you like more to drink?"

"Please," I answer and Christian refills my glass of water, adding another slice of lemon to it. Teddy begins to nurse, his bright eyes tracking his daddy's every movement until Christian comes back to sit at the table with us. "He watches you all the time." I observe out loud.

"And when he's in my arms, he's watching you." He says, reaching for one of Ted's hands.

"He knows both of his parents love him." Christian leans down to kiss his son's cheek. "I'm going to go call Mom now."

"Tell her Ted and I send our love and will see her tomorrow."

"I will." He stands and kisses the top of my head before leaving the room. I listen to his footsteps clacking down the hall until he reaches the carpeted floor of his study which silences their echoes. Tomorrow we will all be together again, Christian will be surrounded by his entire family and I am glad, because he desperately needs it right now.


	28. Chapter 28

**I forgot to tell you ladies that I posted Chapter 4 of Fifty Shades Complete Part 1 (a few small things were added) to my site. So check it out if you would like to. Thank you all for your reviews, I may not get back to everyone every time but I try respond to as many as possible. Okay...on with the new chapter.***

**"Teddy bear, Teddy bear,** turn around," Ted laughs and giggles as I hold him in my arms and turn a full circle. "Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground." I bend down and reach my hand to the floor, eliciting even more shrill giggles from my baby. "Teddy bear, teddy bear, reach up high. Teddy bear, Teddy bear, touch the sky." I lift him high above my head and bring him back down to my face, pecking his tiny lips with a kiss. "Teddy bear, Teddy bear time for bed. Teddy bear, Teddy bear rest your head." He smiles as I lift him over the railing and place him in his crib. "Teddy bear, Teddy bear, turn out the light. Teddy bear, Teddy bear, say goodnight." I whisper the last part of the poem and flip off the lamp near his bed. "Sleep tight my sweet boy." He yawns, the most adorable yawn before finding his mouth with his thumb and sucking it. His eyes become drowsy and finally close. My sweet, perfect baby boy, I love you more than you could ever imagine.

I tip toe quietly to his door and leave a wide crack in it, so I can get to him quickly if he wakes. After our busy day I doubt he does though. Christian and I weren't the only ones glad to be home. Teddy has played and eaten more this afternoon and evening than he did the entire time we were in Detroit. Something about being at home just makes you feel more comfortable I guess. When I walk out of the door I am startled to see Christian standing just outside of it waiting for me. I yelp out of surprise and he chuckles.

"You startled me," I tell him playfully slapping his shoulder.

"I'm sorry baby, I just couldn't resist watching the two of you play together." He says wrapping me in his embrace. His gray eyes are shining, much more luminescent then they have been all day. He inclines his head towards mine and grazes my lips with his own. I feel his hands cupping my bottom; he hitches me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist so that he is holding me.

"I take it you're feeling much more yourself than you were earlier today?"

Our eyes lock, "Ana, I know my behavior has been foul today."

My fingers stroke his sideburns and I kiss the tip of his nose. "You're right, you have been boorish at times, somber at others and then you perk up only to fall back down again. I'm worried about you Christian."

"There's nothing to worry about. Now that we're home everything is fine."

"You can't pretend as if Detroit never happened."

"Do we have to talk about this tonight?" His tone is shifting from remorse to exaggeration.

Ugh, God this man is so frustrating. Every single time I attempt to discuss what is bothering him I get the same damn response, which is him telling me nothing or him becoming ill with me because he doesn't want to talk about it.

"Nothing has changed Anastasia; I don't know what I want to do."

"Do you plan to speak with Grace and Carrick about what you learned in Detroit when they come tomorrow?" I remain persistent, refusing to let up on him. I know if I do he will only cast everything aside until it festers over time and erupts in a volcanic explosion of anger and resentment. Without warning he drops his hands from where they are holding me up, forcing me to straighten my legs to catch myself, my feet slap the wood floor with a harsh blow.

"Why do you think I asked them to come over Ana?" Turning his back on me he storms toward the bedroom. Mr. Mercurial Fifty is back and in full swing.

"Christian Grey!" I shout after him, fully aware of the fact that I sound like a mother scolding a child but that is what he is acting like right now, a damn child, and I refuse accept his surly attitude. He stops dead in his tracks at the tone of my voice. Stomping my feet, much like the child I have compared him to, I move quickly until I am in front of his face. "Do not shut me out and do not give me your sarcasm. I have been here with you through this entire thing, I have supported you and I will continue to support you because I love you and I am here for you. But I will not take your verbal backlash. I do not deserve it." There, that told him, "and goodnight." I turn on my heel and walk in to our bedroom, leaving the door open behind me. I have told him not to shut me out and I will extend the courtesy to him which he is denying me of.

The hot water runs over my body and my face which is upturned to the vast shower head. For all I know Christian is still standing in the hallway dumbfounded by my display, let him stew, I'm not ready to speak with him yet. I reach for the sponge and squirt my lavender honey body wash on it. Massaging the sponge in my hands I work up a lather and begin to run it over my skin, first my arms, then my breasts and across my belly before continuing down each leg. A white trail of sudsy foam is left in his path. I inhale the sweet floral aromatic scent, so relaxing. I can almost feel the stress seeping from my pores and washing away with the froth down the drain.

I rinse out the sponge, wringing out the last bit of soap before picking up my shampoo and washing my hair. I close my eyes and loose myself, allowing my senses to take over. Long, agile fingers join in with mine, stroking over my scalp. You're angry with him, remember, my subconscious goads me. The sensation his touch elicits is heavenly though, my reaction is weak because his pull on me is strong.

"Baby, I'm sorry." He whispers against my ear, the heat of his breath washing over me like the water.

He directs my head under the rainfall and carefully rinses the shampoo out before turning me to face him. I open my eyes and watch him closely. His eyes are swollen and rimmed in red as if he has been crying. The water running down his face masks any remaining tears, it leaves little trails of small rivers, running over his nose and down to his sculpted lips.

"I should never have spoken to you like I did, please Ana, forgive me."

Leaning my head forward I press my lips against his skin, where his heart is. He is vital and warm beneath my lips, I kiss the same spot again and again before drawing back to look in his eyes once me. "I know you're hurting Christian, please let me help you. I'm sorry I shouted at you but please don't shut me out."

"I needed to hear what you said Ana. I needed to snap out my self pity. All I've done is wallow in my own misery these past few days, giving little to no regard to you and how you must be feeling. Baby, I know this hasn't been easy for you either."

"Watching you hurt and struggle is never easy for me. Just promise me that you'll talk with Grace about all of this tomorrow and then listen to what she has to say. She loves you and she's known you much longer than I have."

"You know more though, Ana. I could never tell my mother everything you know."

"You don't have to Christian just listen to what she has to say. She may know exactly what to do."

"I promise," He brushes his lips with mine before covering my mouth with his. I feel his hands cup my bare bottom and lift me. I place my legs around his waist, hooking my heels against his behind, as we assume the position which was so abruptly broken in the hall. I know what he needs and I need it to. He backs me up against the tile wall and pulls back just a fraction before pushing himself into me. I let my head fall against his shoulder and groan at the feeling. With one arm wrapped around my body he braces his other hand against the wall, pressing his palm flat on the tile behind me. My body stretches around his, forming a complete union.

"Christ, you feel good, Ana." He pulls back out of me almost completely before plunging forward again, this time deeper. We both groan in unison and he sets a steady pace. Propelling me higher and higher until we are both screaming each other's name is sweet uninhibited release.


	29. Chapter 29

***Enjoy ladies!***

**My feet pad softly** down the stairs. I am in search of my missing husband and baby. I awoke to an empty bed and walked down the hall to find an empty crib. An eruption of fits of giggles resounds against the high walls and ceiling of the great room, halting me in my tracks. With careful ease I tiptoe down a few more steps so that I am able to peek at them around the corner of the wall.

Christian, wearing on his pajama pants, is positioned on his hands and knees, hovering over Teddy who is lying on the floor, his play mat beneath him. I watch Christian lower himself to Ted's belly and blows a raspberry against his soft baby skin causing Ted to laugh uncontrollably, the most sweet and innocent reverberations moving through his tiny body. Teddy's tummy is bare, his footed pajamas unbuttoned, giving his daddy better access to his chubby belly. Even from here I can see how our son's eyes dance with delight at the game he is so thoroughly enjoying. Christian has never been as attractive to me as he is right now, in this moment, playing with our son on the floor of our home, in the simple dim light of morning. There have been so many moments in our life together when I have thought, this is the best moment, but this one surpasses each and every one of them.

Christian pulls back slightly and speaks to our son, "would you like for Daddy to blow on your tummy again?"

Teddy chuckles in response, smiling his sparsely toothed grin, a bit of baby drool escaping down his chin.

"Here I come, Ted, here I come…" He places his mouth on Ted's tummy again and our baby goes wild, laughing with abandon.

Their game is so pure and joyous; I cannot help but smile and watch them interact with each other for a few more minutes. Christian's heart is so full of love and acceptance, I see it every day and I know he will make the right decision where his aunt is concerned. My only hope is that he comes to his decision with an inner peace to alleviate the years of pain and struggle he has felt.

Moving quietly I am able to enter the kitchen remaining unnoticed by my boys who are still playing in the great room floor. Removing the eggs from the refrigerator I begin the task of cooking breakfast. I scramble eggs, toast a few slices of whole wheat bread and place a jar of Gail's blueberry preserves on the table along with our filled plates. Finally I prepare Ted's cereal and am pouring Christian's coffee when the humor filled duo enters the room.

"What smells so wonderful Mommy?"

"Breakfast Daddy," I answer him as he approaches me. Holding Ted in one arm, propped against his hip, he wraps his other arm around me and kisses my lips gently.

"It smells delicious," he says then buckles Ted in his highchair.

We sit together, eating and laughing at our little comedian while he eats the spoons filled with cereal as Christian offers them to him. His expressions are always animated and he has no objections to vocalizing when he wants another bite of his breakfast. Regardless of the cold rain falling from the gray sky our kitchen is warm and sunny, filled with deep euphoria caused by the togetherness of our little family.

"Why were you two up so early this morning?" I ask spreading preserves on my toast. My mouth is spread into a permanent smile.

Christian finishes chewing and takes a sip of his coffee before answering me. "I heard Ted jabbering to himself over the monitor and didn't want to wake you. I changed him; fed him a bottle and then we decided to have some Teddy and Daddy playtime while Mommy slept." He looks to Ted when he says the last part. Teddy gives him a huge grin around the remaining cereal in his mouth, it is adorable. Christian mirrors Ted's smile with his own before planting a kiss on top of his head. His mood suddenly shifts to pensiveness, "Ana, I want to apologize again for how I spoke to you last night. It was unforgivable baby." He is speaking to me but keeps his eyes locked on our son, running his fingers through his fine dark copper baby hair the entire time.

I put my toast back on my plate and reach for his other arm, resting on the table between us in a crooked position. "Christian, nothing between us will ever be unforgivable, I love you."

Initially he continues to stare at Ted before finally shifting his gaze to mine. I'm trying so hard to read the thoughts occurring behind steely depths of his eyes. They shift subtly, the movements are barely a flicker, "When we stopped by GEH yesterday," he begins, calculating my reaction before speaking further. "I did not only speak with Ros in regard to the conference she held that morning. I also took the opportunity to step into my office and call Welch."

"Why did you do that?"

"I gave him Leslie's name and asked him to verify her identity."

"You didn't believe her? You didn't believe she was who she said she was? Did you think she made it all up and that she lied to you the entire time? For God's sake Christian, she had pictures as proof." I find myself flabbergasted beyond belief.

"Not at all, I believed every word she told us about her past. I wanted to ensure that she is a good person now. If I'm going to have any contact with her and allow her around my family I want to know everything there is to know about who she is."

My eyes continue searching his. I know in Christian's world this makes sense and what he did was necessary. His intentions are good but I can't help to feel like this is messed up, he invaded her privacy instead of just purely trusting her and getting to know her. He turns back to face Ted, my hand is still resting on his arm. "I don't expect you to understand my choice Anastasia, I don't expect for you to agree with it either, but it is what it is and I don't regret doing it."

"You knew how I'd react, that's why you did it at work instead of from home. You were afraid I would overhear you and know what you were doing," and there's the tension again. I can feel it radiating from his core and down his arm. He moves his arm from my grasp and stands, unbuckling Ted and lifting him from his highchair.

He turns to face me with our son in his arms, "Yes, I wanted to avoid this confrontation but even if you had known I was doing it or was going to do it you couldn't have stopped me. Leslie Hayes Stound is not a member of my family. You, Ted, my parents, my brother, my sister, you are all my family and it is my job to protect you all. How am I to know that Leslie has not in the past taken to the ways of her sister? I don't know that any more than you do and I intend to find out before moving any further with her. Not telling you was eating me up inside though, I couldn't keep it from you any longer. I hope you understand Ana but if you don't, like I said, it wouldn't have and won't change anything."

With that he effectively ends our conversation by leaving the room. I hear his footsteps ascending the staircase while I am left reeling from Christian's revelations. The points he makes are all valid, but his decisions always appear rash to me, although I know they are not rash to him. To him they are logical and he is keeping his family safe to the best of his abilities. I cannot fault him for that. With my appetite suddenly nonexistent I push my chair back and begin the task of clearing the table. Throwing away our left overs and washing the few dirty dishes. I don't rush to his side, he is with Ted, and therefore I know he is fine. I just continue about my task and give him time with his son to cool off after sharing his information with me. Grace and Carrick will be here in a few hours.


	30. Chapter 30

***Love your reviews! Enjoy!***

**The atmosphere surrounding us** is strained at best and I'm certain Grace and Carrick can feel it as we welcome them into our home. After a few hugs, handshakes and a lot of awing over Teddy, Christian and Carrick move to sit in the great room, taking Ted with them. Grace offers to help me in the kitchen as I put the finishing touches on lunch. Graciously I accept her offer and ask Christian to listen for the other's to arrive. He nods and turns his attention back to our son who is sitting on his lap.

Grace is busy stirring the large Beef Bourguignon as I chop the fresh parsley for garnish. Concentrating on the task at hand I cannot help but be caught up in my inner musings. Ever since breakfast the air between us has been thick. We've spoken to each other, taken care of Ted and interacted with him, but those communications have only occurred as needed. I leave my herbs on the cutting board and turn to take the corn muffins from the oven which is beeping. I flip the muffin tins over, popping out perfectly shaped muffins.

"Those look wonderful, Ana." Grace says looking over her shoulder at me.

"Thank you," I pick up a steaming hot muffin and tear off a piece to taste one. They are perfect, fluffy, sweet and delicious. "Is the Bourguignon ready?"

She picks the fork up from my spoon rest and pierces it through a potato first, then a carrot. "The vegetables are tender, I believe it's ready." I lift my cutting board and walk over to the stove where Grace is standing and scrape the parsley in the pot. She stirs again and keeps her eyes trained on the stew as she begins to speak. "Ana dear, is everything alright?"

Oh no, my stomach falls to the floor, the ever perceptive Grace Trevelyan-Grey. "Of course," I answer trying to sound certain but failing miserably. My voice is barely a squeak with a hint of quivering.

Propping the wooden spoon against the stainless steel pot she takes the bamboo cutting board from my hand and sets it on the counter beside her before grasping my hands in hers. I feel tears threatening at the backs of my eyes, don't cry…don't cry, I preach to myself. I lift my downcast eyes to look at her face. "Sweetheart," upon seeing the glistening moisture in my eyes she grabs me and pulls me into her arms. I bury my face against her shoulder, her sandy blonde hair surrounding me. "What is it?" Her tone is loving and kind; her hands are rubbing my back. That's all it takes, the words spew from my mouth like steaming water for a geyser.

"Christian and I have been teetering on a finely balanced seesaw ever since Detroit and I don't see things improving. One minute he's fine, we're fine, we're happy and loving each other and the next minute he's an enigma. He closes himself off to me and won't speak no matter what I say, and then he gets angry and walks away." I feel so guilty, like I'm tattling on my husband to his mother but I haven't had anyone to talk to about this and I feel like Grace is a safe place, for both of us, my word vomit continues on, with no sign of stopping. "I know I have been hard on him and I need to give him space but I can't help how I worry about him. It all makes me feel so helpless." I pull back from her and reach for a paper towel to wipe my dripping nose and tear streaked cheeks.

Grace turns the knob so that the stove is off, "let's sit." She leads me to the kitchen table and we both pull out chairs to sit in. I blow my nose and wait for her to speak. "First, you have to give Christian time dear. He's only known about this entirely new part of who he is for only a few days. You and I both know he does not handle change well at all. For him this part of his life was a closed book, he knew what he knew and never cared to learn anything more."

"He had Welch do a background check on Leslie…" I sniffle again.

"Do you not think that was appropriate? I admit it is more than likely not what my first course of action would have been but it does not appear to be a far-fetched reaction for Christian." Grace is right. Christian craves control and what happened in Detroit sent his world spiraling, threatening the delicate balance of his past. "He is only taking every precaution he can to keep you and Ted safe." Her words mirror Christian's. Perhaps they are more alike than I ever thought.

"That's what he told me. I just…oh I don't know." I twist the paper towel in my fingers, shredding it into tiny strips out of frustration. "He didn't tell me until afterwards, he said he knew what my reaction would be."

"Ana, as long as he is not acting rashly without any logic, give him a chance. He's come so far, you both have. If you do see him stepping out of line though, don't hesitate to push him back in." She grins on the last part and I can't help but let the corners of my mouth tug up into a slight smile.

"Yes, ma'am," I tell her.

She pats my hand, "good girl. Don't let this one squabble discourage you my dear. Carrick and I have had our fair share of arguments over the years. When you argue, make up afterwards, say I'm sorry to each other and mean it. In the end let the disagreement make you stronger and drive you closer together, not the opposite." I know she's my mother-in-law but she's more of a maternal figure to me sometimes than my own mother is. Grace's words of wisdom and her calming manner serve to compose my thoughts, validate my feelings when needed and provide me with rebuke when I am wrong. She never takes sides, she is a neutral party.

"Shall we begin taking the food to the table?" She asks standing. I nod and follow behind her and begin taking the dishes from the cabinets to set the table.

Christian enters the room, "Everyone is here, Elliot, Kate, Mia and Ethan just arrived." He says, his gaze locking on me. I know from his expression that he can tell I have been crying. I turn quickly back to what I was doing and open the utensil drawer.

"Thank you son, I'm going to carry the pot of Bourguignon to the table. Would you please help Ana set the table?"

"Sure, Mom," he says distractedly, still standing in the open doorway. With two potholders Grace lifts the large stainless steel pot and walks out of the room. My eyes fall back down the task at hand, knives, forks, spoons and napkins. My hands fumble clumsily as I count out six burgundy colored napkins. I feel Christian cross the kitchen and stand behind me. "Baby…" he whispers, and places his hands on my upper arms, gently forcing me to turn and face him.

My earlier dried tears threaten to fall again as his eyes search mine. "Christian, I'm so sorry." I blurt out. I hate fighting with him. He pulls me to his body and I press my face against his chest, inhaling his scent. My tears seep through his navy polo as his fingers run through my hair.

He coos to me softly, consoling me, "I'm sorry too baby. I'm so sorry we fought." He's rocking me back and forth, standing in our kitchen. I feel his lips press into my hair at the crown of my head. Slowly my tears subside and I lift my face up to his. He brings his mouth to mine and pecks my lips tenderly. "You're lips are so soft when you cry."

I smile shyly at his words, he always tells me that and it always warms me from the inside out. "I promise to give you space Christian, I should never have pressured you like I did. And I know why you called Welch. I'm sorry for second guessing you."

"I only want you safe Ana. If anything ever happened to your or Ted because of me I couldn't live with myself. Please, let me handle this my way."

"I know and I will." Our faces our merely inches apart, he breaks the distance by cupping my cheeks and kissing me again. I part my lips and allow his tongue to graze mine. Our warm mouths collide and dance together, passionately and delicately at the same time.

The faint sound of voices outside the door, joined with the jabbers of our son meets my ears. "Is everything alright between them dear?" It's Carrick who is speaking. The voices and sounds of footsteps stop right outside of the still open kitchen door.

"It is now," I hear Grace whisper, "come, let's give them a moment." My heart smiles and I knot my fingers in my husband's soft curls at the nape of his neck, relishing him in my arms and the taste of him kissing my mouth.


	31. Chapter 31

Here's a fun one ladies!

"It is now," I hear Grace whisper, "come, let's give them a moment." My heart smiles and I knot my fingers in my husband's soft curls at the nape of his neck, relishing him in my arms and the taste of him kissing my mouth.

We break our kiss but remain nose to nose, staring intently into each other's eyes. Christian's fingers trace the outline of my face, my cheeks, my lips and my jawline. Feather light touches; they entice my senses, causing goose pimples to dot my skin and a shiver to run down my spine. I swallow hard, choosing to speak even though I am hesitant to break the spell we appear to have fallen under.

"We should join everyone in the dining room."

Without answering my statement he excites my lips again with another warm kiss before taking my hand and leading me to where everyone is waiting on us.

Christian pulls my chair out and I take a seat beside Ted who is jabbering away in his highchair as he bangs his spoon against his tray. "Ba ba ba ba," my little man chants.

"Is that so son?" Christian asks him and Ted grins in response, his eyes locked on his daddy who is now sitting on the other side of him.

"Well if everyone's ready, I'm starving." You can always count on Elliot to get the meal started, he pats his stomach with both hands.

Grace fills the bowls with Bourguignon as the basket of corn muffins makes its way around the table. Christian takes a carrot and potato from his bowl and mashes it for the eager baby boy between us. "Mmmmmmmm," Teddy sounds from his mouth as it closes around his fingers which he has dipped into his mash. He smacks his lips before grabbing up more of his vegetables on his hand. I attempt to wipe a large gathering of carrot from under his nose but I know it's all in vain, in a matter of minutes he will replace what I just removed with my napkin.

"That could be you soon baby." I hear Elliot whisper to Kate, she puts her finger over her mouth immediately shushing him, but it's too late. Every person at the table heard and saw their little exchange.

I think my mouth must be wide open from shock. Kate gives me a stern look and shakes her head 'no.'

"Kate are you?" Mia pipes up excitedly.

"Not yet, but we're thinking about it." Oh my God, I think Kate is going to kill Elliot if he does not shut his mouth right now. He is grinning and taking all of the attention in stride while Kate has a murderous glare in her eyes.

"Well, you know what Grandma Trevelyan says, 'all you have to do is think about it and 'poof' it happens'."

I almost spit out my water with a giant guffaw at Mia's animated way of speaking. I hate that this is all at my best friend's expense but it has served to lighten the mood from where it was when everyone began to arrive earlier. Thankfully I am able to recover myself and dab my mouth with my napkin, all the while I feel Kate's gaze locked on me.

"Elliot, perhaps Kate would like to keep your family planning choices private?" Grace interjects, passing his now full bowl back to him.

"Thank you Grace," Kate smiles at our mother-in-law who seems to be the supreme diffuser of disagreements among her son's and their spouses today.

Elliot appears briefly chastened turning to his wife and stroking her arm reassuringly. "Sweetheart, I didn't mean to upset you." She offers her cheek to him and he pecks it lovingly. "I just can't help my excitement over having a family with you."

He may be a bit of a prick at times but what Elliot just said to Kate has to be one of the most endearing things I have ever heard come out of his mouth. Imagine that, Elliot Man Whore Grey, swooning his wife and enthusiastic over the thought of becoming a father.

"Me too," she whispers back to him before returning his kiss.

Unexpectedly Christian raises his glass of red wine and clears his throat before speaking. "To our family, and to Elliot and Kate, when you do have your baby I hope he or she brings you as much joy as our Ted has brought to Ana and I."

"Cheers!" Everyone at the table erupts in a mood of levity, clinking glasses and smiling. I catch Grace's eye, her beaming smile tells me everything I need to know. She is overwhelmingly proud of her youngest son. Not so long ago Christian would have never expressed such emotion around his family, he has come leaps and bounds from where he once was. After taking a sip of wine Christian pulls my hand across Ted's table and lifts it to his mouth and brushes feather kisses across my knuckles.

"Soon we'll add to our family too, baby." My stomach drops and the sensation of promise fills me, combining with pure desire. Ted squeals with happiness, pulling our attention to him. What an amazing moment, my heart pitter patters from hearing Christian's words and from watching him with our son.

**Once the meal is** finished and everything has been cleaned up I take Ted upstairs to nurse him and put him down for a nap. Kate and Mia follow, eager to spend some time with their nephew. Elliot and Ethan are watching some football game on TV but Grace, Carrick and Christian are nowhere to be seen. I hope they are talking about Detroit and what occurred there with Leslie; maybe they will impart some words of wisdom or encouragement which will help him find his way. If anyone can help him, it is Grace.

"May I rock him, Ana?" Mia asks. We are all seated in the nursery on the soft blue area rug near the window. The raindrops falling from the cold sky are pattering against the glass, playing a rhythmic, soothing, lullaby for my drowsy baby.

"Sure." Mia stands and moves to sit in the rocking chair, my rocking chair, Christian gave me for Valentine's Day. She leans down and takes a sleepy Ted from my arms. He was almost too tired to burp after nursing. She cuddles him against her and he yawns contentedly.

"Auntie Mia loves you so much sweet boy," she coos to him before kissing his nose. "You're such a good Momma Ana."

I finish pulling my smoke gray sweater down after snapping my nursing bra back up. "It's easy to be a good Momma when you have such a perfect little boy." I smile, touching Ted's arm while his auntie slowly rocks him back and forth. He sighs at my contact, smiling slightly before closing his eyes completely and drifting off.

"Are you and Elliot trying yet?" I ask Kate, Mia continues to rock my sleeping boy.

Kate fiddles with her fingers, pushing back her cuticles in a nervous manner. "We're just talking about it. Elliot wants to start a family right away. I think little Ted here has given him baby fever and it's usually the woman has the baby fever. In our case it is the other way around."

"You don't want a baby yet?" Mia asks with surprise in her voice.

Kate looks up, "no, no, that's not it at all. I want to have a baby. I'm just not sure if I want one now. I love my job and our life as a newly married couple, I don't know if I'm ready to share it right now." She shakes her head incredulously, "that probably sounds incredibly shallow," she half chuckles.

"That doesn't sound shallow or selfish at all Kate. There are two halves to your marital equation, make sure you're ready too. It's not just Elliot's choice to make, it's yours too. Besides, you've only been married for three months, give yourself time." I pat her hands which are resting in her lap.

My little Ted is the light of my life but I would be lying if I didn't have a twinge of jealousy towards Kate. I sometimes wish Christian and I could have had more 'us' time as a newly married couple instead of jumping right into starting a family. I think we are stronger for having Ted though, it showed Christian what kind of parent he could be. That he could be a good parent in spite of the kind of parent his birthmother was or wasn't. Teddy showed his daddy how to give and receive unconditional love.

"Thank you, Ana."

"Ana's right Kate, enjoying being married, there's plenty of time for babies. Besides, you and Elliot need to enjoy each other." She waggles her eye brows at us.

We break into a fit of giggles, Mia is hilarious. Kate blushes crimson, "yes, well there's been plenty of enjoying each other."

"Babies can make that more fun though," I blurt out and then slap my hand over my mouth. I cannot believe I just blurted that out. I usually keep Christian and I's private life, well private.

Both girls stop giggling and give me, 'please do elaborate looks', oh God I have definitely put my foot in my mouth now.

"You cannot say something like that and leave us hanging Ana. How do babies make it more fun?"

Now it's my turn to blush and I go fifty shades of scarlet. "They just do, you know." I squirm, me and my big mouth.

"No we don't know Ana, spill it girl." Mia encourages and I just want to die.

"Well, things are more…ummmmm…sensitive and…responsive. Things feel more intense." They both sit entranced, hanging on to my every word. I am the woman in the know right now I suppose, the experienced older married woman with a child, how did that happen?

Kate sits up straight and I know she's about to say something but what comes out of her mouth blows me away, shocking me beyond belief. "So, I've been reading and I've read that your breasts become much more sensitive. Elliot is rather intrigued by this and by the idea of me breast feeding…" If I had something in my mouth I would either choke on it or spit it out. Please do not ask me; please do not ask me, I repeat over and over again in my head. My subconscious is smirking, my inner goddess is eager to reveal everything we know from experience. "Have you and Christian ever….played with breastfeeding?"

I want to die. Take me now God, I just want to die. My bright red face gives it away. Kate's eyes go wide and she cups her hand over her mouth, stiffing a scream. "You have! Anastasia Grey! You have to spill girl! I always knew he was a kinky bastard."

Mia must be mortified; this is her brother we are talking about. To my surprise she is nearly balancing on the edge of her seat, intrigued by Kate and I's conversation. "I'm going to put Teddy down in his crib; I've got to hear this." She quickly rises and crosses to the crib to tuck Ted in. How in the world did our discussion go from Kate and Elliot having babies to talking about my sex life? You opened your mouth, my subconscious reminds me, a lot of help she is. In seconds she is back and takes a seat on the floor with Kate and me.

Kate nudges me in the ribs gently with her elbow, "spill it Grey."

I cover my face, hiding from the two of them and draw in a deep breath before taking my hands down. "Okay, you two can never ever tell Christian I said anything."

They both simultaneously mime the act of zipping their lips closed and throwing the key over their shoulders.

"Yes, okay. Yes, we have."

"Oh my God you little slut!" Kate exclaims with a huge grin on her face. "Did you like it? Did he like it?"

Like, I think that word in reference to this subject could be the understatement of the year. "Yes I did, yes he did and….yes we do."

"Do? Wow, this is hot. When Elliot finally gets the chance to knock me up and I have the baby I am definitely following in your steps. Ana, you are my hero."

"It will be awhile for Ethan and I, but I am so taking notes." Mia giggles causing us all to erupt in laughter once again.

Our laughter finally subsides and I make each of them promise again never to breathe a word of this to Christian. I could never imagine how he would react but I am sure it would not be good. Being with my friend and sister-in-law for girl time and girl talk has been enjoyable though.

"We have got to get together more often and have girl time," Mia says, wiping tears from her eyes.

"We most certainly do," Kate agrees, "there's no telling what else we could get our little closet freak over here to admit to."


	32. Chapter 32

Here's a fun one :) Enjoy!

My ears perk up at the sound of footsteps falling down the hall just outside of the nursery. The steady rhythm of the pace tells me right away who it is, Christian. I shush the girls, putting a finger over my mouth, signaling for them to quiet down as I point towards the door. We all put on poker faces and begin chatting about how much we love the color of Mia's pleated sheath dress.

"The burgundy color looks beautiful with your dark hair, very bold." Kate remarks touching the fabric. It's hard to keep the smile off of my face in light of what we were just discussing. Playing right along with our game Mia tells us where she bought if from and how much Ethan loves the color.

My heart all but stops' beating when Christian appears at the door, dressed in his jeans and black t-shirt, his smile is mocking, like he has a secret. His look very much resembles that of a cat that has eaten its master's canary but is playing innocent in the whole charade. He stops before reaching me to check on our son who is still peacefully sleeping in his crib. After adjusting Ted's bedclothes he walks to me and kneels down, his mouth just centimeters from my ear. I can feel his warm breath ticking my neck, sending chills down my spine. He kisses the tender patch of skin behind my ear, all of his concentration on me, not an ounce for anyone else in the room.

In a low voice, only meant for me and only audible by me he whispers, "I've just come from our room, where the baby monitor is." I gulp, holy cow, shit, he heard everything I know he did. "My only dilemma now is what to do to you later." He kisses my cheek innocently before smiling at Kate and his sister. "Mom is serving dessert, you lovely ladies should come downstairs, and Ana, I've got the baby monitor with me." With that he leaves us. Kate and Mia are oblivious to what just occurred, but I am not.

My subconscious shakes her head in dismay, serves you right for opening your trap. My inner goddess is thrilled at his delicious threat. My insides clench deep down, what will he do?

When the girls and I arrive back downstairs we join the others, the conversation is casual and amicable. I want desperately to ask Christian if he spoke with Grace and Carrick about Detroit or ask them if he did and what they talked about. The right moment never seems to present itself though, leaving me wondering. The mood is light, not plagued by any hint of melancholy or distress. I am sure he did speak with them, perhaps his parents helped to put things into perspective for him. Part of me desperately wants to ask him, inquire on the topic, when his parents are gone but I vowed to myself to give him time and let him come to me. I am determined to stick to that decision, knowing it is the best route to take. Then there is the matter of him having overheard the girls and I's little tête-à-tête in the nursery after putting Ted down for his afternoon nap. He did not seem angry with me earlier, hopefully he can see some humor in the situation. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that.

We are all sitting around a roaring fire, lounging comfortably in its warmth as well as the warmth of family when the sound of Ted stirring comes over the baby monitor. The entire family has been saying they should get ready to leave for an hour now but inevitably we all strike up another topic of conversation and begin chatting again.

"That'll be our Ted, Daddy." I say beginning to stand from my place where I have been sitting beside Christian on the loveseat.

"I'll get him Ana," Mia volunteers rising from her place on the floor where she has been reclining between Ethan's legs. They are the cutest couple in the world, so obviously in love with each other. Their innocent way of touching and showing their affection for one another is a delight to witness.

"Okay Auntie Mia." She grins and turns to leave when Ethan stands up and offers to go with her. I watch them both leave the room, linking hands before walking up the stairs. Once I hear them enter the nursery I reach over to the end table and flip off the baby monitor before snuggling back into Christian's side. He drapes his arm across my shoulders before kissing my temple lightly.

"Christian told us your mother and her husband have moved to Las Vegas," Grace begins, before picking up her cup of coffee and taking a sip.

"They have, they arrived in Las Vegas on Wednesday. She called to tell me they had arrived safely. They are meeting with a realtor Monday to begin searching for a house."

"How wonderful for her to be closer," she smiles.

"Christian and I were hoping to have everyone here for Thanksgiving dinner," I suggest to Grace, being sure to make eye contact with everyone in the room as well, "with Mom and Bob being closer I am positive they will be here for the holiday."

"That sounds perfect; Mia and I will help you with anything you need."

"You can count on me too Ana," Kate offers, "I'm not much of a cook but I can definitely bring drinks."

"My baby the bartender," Elliot squeezes Kate's knee. They are sitting across from Christian and I on the floor, in the same position as Mia and Ethan were sitting before they left the room.

"Hey, you like my cocktails," she pinches him his arm playfully.

"Elliot loves cocktails, he drinks like a girl," Christian says ribs his brother.

"I can drink you under the table any time little Bro, bring it on."

I know Elliot is older than Christian numerically but in my mind that fact has never really added up. I guess because Elliot has a carefree and playful spirit, a stark contrast to Christian's serious and responsible personality. No two brothers were ever less alike than these two. Elliot is protective of Christian though, whether he likes to show it or not I can see it. He would take care of him, stand up for him, and defend him against anyone or anything he deemed necessary to shield him from. His playboy disposition hides that to extent, but it is still visible to me.

Baby jabbers and footsteps draw near, Mia is giggling at Ted as she holds him in her arms, bouncing him up and down gently. Ethan is walking at her side, holding one of Ted's hands in his, blowing raspberries on Ted's fist.

"Fresh and changed," Mia tells me handing my sunshiny baby boy.

"Are you being sweet to Auntie Mia and Uncle Ethan?" I ask him, placing him on my lap. He holds his hands out to his daddy and grunts, wanting Christian to take him; he of course obliges our son's request.

"I should give him to Elliot, let my brother practice a bit."

"Psht, babies love me," Elliot brags, a charmingly arrogant smile spreading across his face, "boys are a piece of cake."

"Who says you and Kate will have a boy when you do have a baby?" I ask him, raising one eyebrow in speculation. The look on his face at my suggestion causes an outburst of laughter to flood the room.

"Ana's right bro, you've got a fifty/fifty chance of your baby being a girl."

"Hey," he says defensively, "Ted could have just as easily been a girl."

"You're right and the thought of that scared me to death at the time."

"What about now?" I turn to Christian, looking deep into his eyes as he bounces our little boy up and down on his knee, supporting his torso with his big hands wrapped securely around Ted's waist. The once loud room quiets, all eyes on Christian.

"Now?" He asks, clearing his throat. He looks at me earnestly when he answers. "Now, I would love a baby daughter who looks just like her beautiful mother."

I think I hear Mia and even Kate swoon, I swear Elliot coughs 'pussy' under his breath and am ensured of that fact when Kate smacks his arm and Grace gives him a stern look which could light fire on water. I want so desperately to kiss my husband but he clears his throat and turns his attention back to Ted, trying to take the attention off of him.

"If you're so sure of your baby abilities bro, here have a crack at it." He stands and walks over to where Kate and Elliot are sitting on the floor leaned against the couch and hands our baby to Elliot, who briefly scrambles nervously while taking his nephew in his arms. Teddy's gray eyes shine and he flashes his aunt and uncle his charming two-toothed grin.

"See? He loves me little bro." Elliot gloats and begins bouncing Ted on his knee like Christian had.

The conversation turns to Ethan and Mia's wedding plans. They are having a small wedding on December 15th at the Lake Union Café. It is very eclectic and intimate, completely Mia Grey. Kate and I will be her bridesmaids with Elliot and Christian standing with Ethan as his groomsmen. The entire affair will only have about fifty close family and friends in attendance. It will be so charming and I am thrilled for them. Mia is going on about our beautiful emerald green bridesmaid's gowns and how perfect they are for both Kate and I when we all suddenly witness Elliot's face screw into a very unattractive grimace.

"Whoa, I think it's time for my adorable nephew to go back to his mommy or daddy." He announces, holding Teddy up and away from him. Ted jerks and kicks his legs in midair, still giggling and cooing, seemingly rather proud of himself and his most recent accomplishment.

"Oh no, you claim you are so good with babies, this part of having one, son." Grace admonishes Elliot for trying to escape the fact that Ted needs his diaper changed. "You take that baby upstairs and put a fresh diaper on him right now," she continues.

"Do you see what you did now Ted? You got me in trouble with Grandma."

"He did nothing of the sort," Kate smiles shaking her head at her husband. "I'll help you husband of mine, but you're doing the work."

"This should hold off Elliot's baby dreams for a bit longer," Christian grins. "Have the fresh diaper ready," He calls after Elliot and Kate as they retreat with Ted in tow towards the nursery.

"You'd know!" Elliot retorts laughing.


	33. Chapter 33

*a hot one for you all*

**"He was completely tuckered** out and fell right to sleep," Christian closes our door behind him and stalks across the bedroom to where I am standing in front of the dresser, running a brush through my hair. The mood in the room is tender and warm due to the flames flickering against the logs in our gas fireplace. Having one in our bedroom was a number one request of mine when we began remodeling the house. It adds a certain romantic feeling to the one room in our home where we share our love openly, privately, without inhibitions.

"He had a big day playing with his family," I answer him. "Our baby is so very loved by everyone around him." I smile watching our reflections in the mirror.

"Here, let me." He offers, taking the brush from my hand and directs me to sit on our bed.

I close my eyes and allow myself to appreciate the feeling of my husband's strong hands following the brush through my long chestnut tresses. His technique is slow and methodical, giving special attention to each lock of hair on my head. If I wasn't sitting upright I could easily fall asleep from the lulling movements.

"I spoke with Mom and Dad about Leslie," still running the brush from the crown of my head to the tip of each strand he begins to speak, filling in the blanks which have plagued my mind all day. I listen silently and intently, urging him to finish his story. "I showed them the pictures she gave me and shared the same information with them as she shared with me."

I feel my throat tighten. I can only imagine how seeing those pictures affected Grace and Carrick. "What did they say?" I ask quietly.

"They told me they will love me and support me no matter what my choice where Leslie is concerned is. I admitted having a background check done on Leslie, they both supported that decision." Sweeping my hair to lay across one shoulder he presses his mouth to my skin, I feel a slight smile against my neck. "Mom said she had spoken with you about the background check."

Trying to control a shuddering shiver I nod my head, "we talked, she helped me to understand why you did what you did. I understand it a lot better now than I did before." I feel his fingers grazing my shoulder, sliding the thin satin strap of my pale blue nightdress down my shoulder to rest on my upper arm. His lips follow the path of the strap, trailing warm and soft, eliciting another shiver from my body.

"Thank you Ana, for understanding." He whispers against my skin, his voice breaking the near silence in the room. "I haven't come to any further conclusions on the matter. The results of the background check will influence my further judgments." He lifts his head and moves my hair to the other shoulder, repeating the entire process again, moist, tender kisses, peppering my skin, heating me, flaming my insides. "Now…" He begins, moving his mouth back to my ear and nibbling it sharply. "There's the matter of your little disclosure to our family."

I feel my belly and muscles below it clenching tightly. What will he do? What will he say?

"Are…you…angry?" I manage to stutter out.

"Mmmmmmmm…" I feel his mouth vibrating against my skin, "not as much now but this is still something we need to deal with. What we do in our bedroom is private, Mrs. Grey and should be kept private."

"I know Christian, I'm sorry. I was just caught up in the moment with the girls." The words rush out of my mouth quickly.

"Hush, I know you are and I know you were." He splays one hand across the front of my neck the other caresses my face, his index finger tracing my lips. I breathe a sigh of relief at his words. That relief is short lived though, his next words carry a delicious promise. "That does not mean that I am not going to punish you though, Mrs. Grey." I gulp and feel myself becoming wet with anticipation. "Take your clothes off and lie on the bed." He orders before standing and walking to the dresser.

I do as he demanded quickly; shedding my night dress and pulling my hair back I efficiently braid it so that it is out of the way. Part of me is filled with anxiety but the other part is screaming with anticipation. I know Christian will never give me more than I can handle. From the bottom drawer, under his clothing, he removes a looped bit of rope. It is bright red and appears to be quite long.

"Sit on the bed," I comply, climbing to the center of the bed, naked. "I'm going to tie you up with this, your arms and your legs will be bound. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"What are your safe words?" He only asks me this when things are going to be intense.

"Yellow and red."

"And when you can't speak?"

Can't speak? I almost scream out but keep my nervousness inside. "One squeeze on the hand is yellow, two squeezes is red." Is he going to gag me? My mind is racing with a thousand possibilities, never landing on just one. There is never just one possibility with Christian Grey.

"Good." He begins running the rope around my torso repeatedly so that it is tight against my chest and my back. My breasts are squeezed between the rope and my arms are pinned to my sides. "Hands behind your back." I move my hands and he finishes tying around my torso by binding my wrists together. "Now, lie down, I am going to bind your legs."

Bringing the still long ends of the rope from beneath me, one end coming up from my left side, the other coming up from my right side, he leaves them to rest while positioning my legs and feet. Like putty I allow him to mold my body into the position he desires. He draws my legs up so that I am splayed open like a butterfly's wings. The bottom of my left foot touching the bottom of my right foot, they are flat together, bottom against bottom. "Stay like that, don't move." His voice has taken on gruffness; I can see the evidence of his arousal merely bursting from his jeans. He begins looping each end of rope around their respective leg. Cutting tightly into my ankles and upper thigh, right at the joins where my leg meets my foot and where my leg meets my body. Both sides are equally tight. I feel open and vulnerable. He finishes by knotting the two ends together around the tops of my feet before standing from the bed and admiring his handiwork.

"My God Mrs. Grey, you are exquisite." He breathes. I feel myself dripping from his gaze and words.

"What…are you going to do?"

I watch his fingers pop open his jeans and slide them down with his boxer briefs, revealing his full erection before he lifts his black t-shirt over his head. He raises one eyebrow at me with mischievous promise.

"Why Mrs. Grey, I'm going to help you keep your mouth busy so that you can't share anymore secrets."

He climbs on the bed, his eyes remaining fixed on mine, never breaking our entranced gaze, he dips his head and begins to suckle on my breasts. He draws milk into his mouth from one before swallowing and moving to the next one. "Delicious," he murmurs and moves up to kiss my lips. He breaks the kiss and moves so quickly that I have no time to process what he is doing until it is done. Placing one leg on either side of my head he straddles me so that his erection is pressing against my lips. He is almost standing on his knees, peering down at my face from above me. "Open your mouth Anastasia," he demands, "I'm going to fuck your mouth." Timidly I open my mouth and he thrusts himself inside, filling me to the back of my throat. He groans, "oh, fuck," but never stops watching me.

It seems like our faces our miles apart but I know his face is only a few feet from mine. Lying here on my back, splayed open, with him filling my mouth, commanding me, dominating me, it is so deliciously submissive and I revel in it. He sets a pattern of quick controlling strokes, fucking my mouth, forcing me to take every delectable inch of him. In no time I feel him growing ridged. He reaches behind him, behind my back and takes one of my hands in his. I don't squeeze though, I want this badly. With a deep moan he thrusts into my mouth one last time, spilling himself in me.

He moves so that he is no longer over my body and kisses my lips chastely before moving back to my breasts and repeating the same motions as before, suckling each one, drawing milk and swallowing it. His hands massage them, encouraging them to grow fuller. "You will never share our private secrets again Mrs. Grey."

"No," I scream out, the intense feeling in my breasts and nipples is almost too much to handle. Just his hands kneading them, his fingers pinching and playing with my sensitive nipples, oh God, I don't know how much more I can take. "Is it too much?" He asks huskily.

"No! Yes! I don't know!"

Ah, I want to cry out and never stop, I can feel a strong building deep inside; it's almost too painful to bear. Finally he takes pity on my and stops his ministrations, moving his body so that he is positioned between my legs.

"Are you ready Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes!" I shout because I need him so much. My body is aching with need for him. Without warning he thrusts inside of me and I nearly climax from the sweet, deep sensation. "Arg! It's so much Christian, oh!"

He draws back and surges forward again, watching me the entire time. "Open and submissive for me," he says, more to himself than to me and I know that he loves this.

"Fuck me Christian, now!"

He begins moving fiercely with carnal intent, driving me onward and upward, my body trembling and tightening in all the right places. When I feel like I cannot withstand another moment my body explodes around his. He covers my mouth with one of his hands, stopping me from speaking or uttering a sound. "I want to hear your body coming around mine. No screaming, just your body coming." At that moment the room is silent with the exception of the sounds our bodies make as they are united as one. Wordlessly he pounds the last drop of orgasm from my body before surging deeply and letting go himself. It is one of the most erotic things I have ever experienced with him.


	34. Chapter 34

I am working on the next chapter but have hit a bit of a writer's block, I'm about half way done with it though. So here's a little something to perhaps tide you over, a snippet of Christian's first father's day with Ted at 3wks of age. It is written from Christian's POV.

_Father's Day 2012_

**Muted light befalls our **bedroom when I open my eyes, rubbing them I bring the sight before me into focus. The bed dips from Ana's weight as she stands to answer the fussy cries of our son. It's not quite dawn yet and she has been up and down with him all night. The exhaustion must be wearing on her and I yearn to shift some of those feelings from her shoulders to mine. Carla left three days ago and since then Mom has been scarcer as well. 'It's time for you two to be parents on your own,' I believe those were my mother's exact words. Ana is doing an outstanding job caring for our young son but I feel helpless and inadequate.

"Baby, let me get him." I offer and move the blankets in a swift motion to stand, planting my bare feet on the wood floor. She is already lifting our crying infant from his basinet though, cradling him to her body. I stand and quickly move to where she is.

"I just don't understand, Christian he can't be hungry again, can he?" She asks, half to me and half to herself. I hear the strain in her voice caused by fatigue. "Please my sweet boy, close your eyes for Mommy and sleep." She pleads with our young son, needing rest of her own. Having none of it he continues to wail and stretch his limbs out rigidly.

Holding him when he cries like this scares me, I fear that I will drop him or harm him in some manner and no amount of coaxing from my mother or Ana has convinced me otherwise. Get ahold of yourself Grey, your wife needs you. I tell myself this over and over, disappointed in my lack of parenting but the trepidation is overwhelming and maintains a firm grip on my psyche. I watch her begin to pace with him, bouncing him in her arms, trying to soothe him to no avail. The first dim light of morning begins to creep through the window, casting just enough light to allow me to see the tears beginning to slowly stream down her face.

"Ana," I whisper her name and walk to block the path she is wearing across our floor.

"He ate just an hour ago Christian, why won't he sleep?" Her big blue eyes look up at me, beseeching for me to answer but I can't, I have no answer. Christ, why do I feel so damn helpless? I have to help her, she is worn and weary.

"Let me take him Ana. You go back to bed baby." She searches my eyes and I hold my arms out to accept our crying son. With great care she passes him from her arms to mine. His little head fits perfectly in my palm. Quickly I pull him against my chest so that he is secure, feeling his soft cotton sleeper against my skin I smile. I can do this; I can calm my upset baby. Ted stops screaming long enough to notice that he has changed hands, his blue-gray eyes stare up at me, never wavering from my face.

"He stopped…" Ana murmurs.

"Go rest my sweet girl." I lean to kiss her forehead and without another word she climbs back in the bed.

She looks over to me, "wake me up if he needs to be fed."

"I will baby, you sleep." She nods and pulls the covers up over her body, wincing slightly from the sensitivity which still exists in her abdomen due to her cesarean.

Quietly I pad over to the rocking chair I bought for her and sit in it. I begin rocking back and forth, the tiny bundle in my arms still fussing now and then but no longer wailing as he was only a few moments ago. I lift my gaze from Ted and watch the first colors of morning as they wash over the sound, creating hues of violet, amber and blush.

"Do you see the sky Teddy?" I question to my baby, "and the birds which fly high in it?" He whimpers and I reach for his pacifier which is sitting on the table near me.

"Shhhhh…son…" I soothe him and offer the pacifier to his lips. Gratefully he takes it and begins to suckle. I move my hand gingerly and he grasps my index finger. He holds it tightly, fisting his tiny hand with all of his might. "Daddy can do this can't he Teddy? Daddy can take care of you. We need to give Mommy some rest." He blinks his eyes a few times, they are becoming drowsy.

Still rocking I lean my head back and allow myself to absorb the moment I am in. Without warning a thought occurs to me, today is the seventeenth, Father's Day. I've been so busy caring for Ana that it had never crossed my mind. I'm not even sure if she has thought about it, I hope she hasn't. I don't want her doting on me at all. She is everything to me and has given everything she has to our son and me. This moment, in the quiet stillness of the dawn, this is all I desire. The soft, rhythmic breathing of my Ted and my Ana meets my ears, they are both fast asleep. I could put him down and get up. Attempt to tap out a few emails before he awakes for his next feeding, or before Ana needs me to help her but I choose not to. My choice is this, my son and my wife and from now until forever I will always make them my first priority.


	35. Chapter 35

Where I am...in the U.S. it is June 18th, Mr. Grey's 30th Birthday. I hope you all enjoy this little bonus. The new chapter to the actual story is almost ready to post but I could not resist writing this little extra tid bit. Enjoy!

**_June 18, 2013_**

**_Christian's 30_****_th_****_ Birthday_**

**_ "Dada!" Ted squeals with _**_delight at the sound of the front door opening. He hears Christian's voice and uses his giant activity block to secure himself as he stands up from his blanket which is sprawled across the kitchen floor, covered in his toys. Having lost all interest in the wooden beads he had been driving along on their spiraled track he wants none of them now. His only goal is to find his Daddy._

_"Yes, baby boy, Daddy is home." I smile and hurriedly place the thirtieth candle atop the homemade chocolate cake. It sinks easily into the soft frosting, the same frosting I made for Christian two years ago and last year as well. 'You, Teddy and my chocolate cake, that's all I want for my birthday,' he whispered to me this morning in the early light of day before leaving for work. Ted was still sound asleep in his nursery which makes him all the more excited now to see his father. _

_"Give Mommy your hand sweetie, let's go find Daddy." He places his chubby hand in mine and jabbers enthusiastically. Tottering on increasingly steady feet he hurries me from the kitchen to the foyer all the while pointing ahead of us with his left index finger, indicating which direction he wants to go. _

_ Christian is walking through the great room, on his way to find us no doubt, when we see him. "Dada!" Ted releases my hand and Christian drops to his knees, holding his arms out for the incoming toddler who is quickly making his way to him._

_"Come here son," He calls, encouraging Ted along his way. When he reaches his daddy he lunges forward, and Christian catches him. I stand where our son left me and watch my two boys hug each other. Christian lifts Ted's shirt and tickles his tummy while kissing his cheek. "I missed you today my Teddy bear." He tells him before standing and tossing him in the air. My heart stops beating momentarily but regains its rhythm when Ted is caught and safe in Christian's arms. Oblivious to any worry I might have the two laugh and grin at one another, enjoying their game. _

_"I missed you too, Mommy." He says, glancing my way and walks over to kiss my lips chastely. _

_"Teddy and I have been busy working on your birthday cake today."_

_"Did you help Mommy, Ted?" _

_"Mama…mmmmmm…" He presses his little lips together and smacks them loudly._

_"That's right Teddy, mmmmmm, the cake was yummy wasn't it?" I laugh at his animated ways. _

_"Did you take some of my cake young man?" Christian asks him, pretending to admonish him lightheartedly. _

_"Mmmmmmm…" Teddy answers in return._

_**We sit relaxed and**__ at ease on our giant tartan blanket. The meadow sprawling before us dotted with an abundant array of wildflowers and the sound to our left with its clear waters reflecting the last strokes of daylight. Christian looks delicious in his jeans and white linen shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The remaining rays of sunlight catch the copper highlights in he and his son's hair, burnishing them to a deep tone of amber. Comfortable in his father's lap our son is munching on spoonful's of fresh pea salad. Gail and I spent all day preparing a perfect birthday meal consisting of parmesan chicken, toasted pine nut couscous and crunchy pea salad and I could not think of a better way to enjoy it than here with my little family. _

_"Do you want more couscous Ted?" I ask my baby, offering some to him._

_He excitedly knocks his two hands together in front of him, signaling 'more,' and I oblige his request. He opens his mouth wide and accepts the food all the while humming 'mmmmm', his new favorite sound. Everything tasty is 'mmmmm' to him recently. So much has changed since the first birthday of Christian's we spent together. So many unexpected changes, none of which I could imagine having not taken place as I sit here now in this moment, basking in the love surrounding me. _

_"Penny for your thoughts Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks, pulling me from my reverie. _

_"I was just thinking about the past." I murmur, half here and half in the past still. _

_"You've been doing that a lot lately, reminiscing."_

_"I suppose it's due to the fact that this little one is growing up so fast." Reaching across our plates set out in front of us I tickle the bottom of Ted's bare foot. He flashes me a grin that meets his eyes._

_"Too fast…" He says before looking deep into my eyes. "Perhaps it's time we begin talking about another." My stomach does that funny somersaulting thing and I feel a smile spread across my lips. My throat goes dry though, permitting me from speaking right away. "Is that a 'yes' then Mrs. Grey?"_

_I nod, "Yes," finding my voice again I speak. "I would love to have another baby."_

_With Ted still seated in his lap Christian leans forward and cups my cheek with his right hand. Mystical gray eyes filled with adoration search my blue ones, filled with equal reverence. It's almost as if we've fallen under some sort of spell neither of us is willing to break. We are momentarily suspended in time, digesting the decision we have just made to add to our family. _

_"Happy birthday Christian," I whisper just before he takes my lips with his. Kissing me tenderly, pouring all of his love into the kiss. His hand drops slowly, coursing down my neck, over my breasts and finally coming to rest on my stomach. Taking his lips from mine he kisses my nose, then my eyes and cheeks. _

_"It feels different," He almost chokes out; I hear the sound of unshed tears in his voice. "Making the choice to have another baby, God, Ana I didn't know I could love you more."_

_"Mama…Dada…Mama…Dada…" Teddy's little voice chants quietly to himself, he contentedly sucks on his fingers, tasting the remnants of his dinner. _

_"There's always more Christian, we will always have more." I tell him before taking his lips with my own this time. I want to kiss him the way he kissed me. My fingers tangle in his hair, feeling its softness as I taste his warm mouth, our kiss insistent and gentle. I cannot find the words to express what I am feeling right now, I can only hope this act will convey the feelings of intimacy I have for him at this moment. The decision to carry another child of ours inside of my body is a wondrous occurrence and I want to cherish it. _

_"Mama…mmmmm…Mama…mmmmm…" I feel Ted's fingers tugging at the fabric of my steel blue wrap dress. He is leaning away from Christian's torso, telling me he wants my milk. An additional feeling of euphoria rushes through me, streaming through my body and hesitantly I break our kiss. We separate allowing me to open the top of my dress and my bra. When I look up Christian is watching me with the same raw look of passion in his eyes. _

_"What?" I ask him. _

_He smirks and shakes his head, "nothing." I know it is something though; it is his appreciation of my caring for our son. He releases his one arm from around Ted's waist and our little boy scrambles between us, coming to kneel in my lap. Knowing exactly what he wants Ted puckers his baby lips, putting them to my nipple and latches on with ease. With one hand he kneads my breast softly while nursing while his other hand fiddles with the fabric of my dress. _

_ Christian strokes his long fingers through our son's locks which are beginning to curl in fine wisps at the nape of his neck. Ted sighs peacefully, melting against my body. The scent of orange honeysuckle growing nearby catches on the early summer breeze and I inhale deeply to take in its perfume. _

_"I love the smell of honeysuckle. It reminds me of when I was a little girl and Ray taught me how to eat the nectar from the flowers. When this little guy is old enough maybe Gramps can teach him too." I say rubbing my little boy's back in a circular motion, feeling the softness of his khaki romper against my palm._

_"Mia loved eating the honeysuckle when she was little too. She would pull me towards it anytime she saw the flowers."_

_"Would you like a little girl Christian?" I ask him, remembering him saying once that he would love a baby girl who looked like me._

_"Just as it was with Ted, healthy will do Anastasia, but yes, a little girl would be wonderful." _

_"What did I ever do to deserve you?"_

_"I should be the one asking that question." He places a kiss atop our baby's head before kissing my lips again. "Would you like some cake?"_

_"Not yet, I'm still full." Teddy stirs and turns away from me, steadying himself with his hands on my chest. "Are you all done baby boy?" I can't help but giggle as I wipe off the droplet of milk trickling down his chin. _

_"Mama…b…b…" He exclaims, still in my lap but insistently pointing at the points of yellow emerging from the grasses. The meadow is radiant with erratic luminous flecks of light._

_"That's right baby boy, bugs. Look at them, millions of bugs lighting up." That's when a thought occurs to me. On our first anniversary during our carriage ride through Central Park Christian and I saw the fireflies and talked about chasing them with Ted when he was old enough to walk. I snap my bra and readjust my wrap dress. "Daddy, let's chase the fireflies." I say as Ted crawls out of my lap and uses my shoulder to help him stand. Christian rises and extends his hand down to me, helping me up. "Take Mommy's hand Teddy. Let's go catch one."_

_He claps his hands together and squeals with boyish delight. Christian is standing on the other side of Ted and I watch Ted bring his hand up to grasp one of Christian's. "Dada…b…b…" He says encouraging Daddy to catch the fireflies with us._

_ With Ted toddling between us we sink our bare feet into the cool, lush, green grass. It feels heavenly. Ted leans forward, leading the way as he darts through the yard, constantly changing directions as he attempts to catch one of the elusive points of light. One comes to hover in front of his face and Christian kneels down, placing his hand out in front of our son's face for the firefly to land on his finger. The little bug does and glows a soft yellow before flashing to darkness and then shimmering again. _

_"Hold your hand out son," He urges Ted and ever so carefully Teddy complies. Putting his hand beside Ted's he allows the firefly to crawl from his long fingered hand to Ted's small one. His lips are pursed into an O shape as he explores the wonder before him. _

_"B…b…b…" he chants with pure happiness. The tiny bug lights once more before taking flight on a breeze and delicately floating away. My baby's gray eyes reflect the abundant lights before him and before I know it he is tugging both of our hands, demanding we go in search of another bug to hold. With summer night surrounding us we walk through our yard, holding our son's hands as he holds onto our hearts, enjoying the simple pleasure of hunting for fireflies together. _


	36. Chapter 36

And...back to the original story. Remember Ana was just all tied up from her kinky fuckery after having told Kate and Mia about the breastfeeding ;)

Enjoy!

PS Thank you all for your sweet reviews, I am so glad you ALL enjoyed Christian's Birthday chapter. Happy Birthday to our one and only Mr. Grey!

**Gently Christian removes the** rope which is binding my body. With delicate touches and caresses he kneads my skin and muscles with each unwinding motion. I sigh and stretch my legs once they are free and do the same with my arms, all the while not fighting the satisfied smile which dances across my face. Casting the red rope aside to the floor he moves so that he is laying on his side next to me and props his head up on one arm. If I wasn't already drained I would take more notice of his sexy muscular body stretched out beside me.

"Was that okay baby?" He asks, I can see the concern on his face and hear it in his voice, he runs his fingertips along my jawline, waiting for my answer.

"I'm smiling so, yes. That was okay."

"Ana, I don't ever want to be too rough with you…"

I shush him by placing my finger over his perfectly sculpted lips, "I know my safe words and signs and I know how to use them. I would have told you if it was too much."

He swallows and nods, I watch his Adam's apple bob up and down as he accepts my words and admissions. Yes, it was rough but it was also delicious to share that kind of abandon with my loving husband. Making love with Christian is amazing but what we did, that's amazing too. Well, actually it was mind blowing.

"I love the kinky-fuckery," I add smiling shyly at him. "It's been awhile since full-on kinky dominate Christian showed his face."

"You've missed him?" Amused surprise sweeps over his features.

I lift my hand and run it through his unruly locks, gazing up into his placated steel gray eyes. "I love him. I love all of your fifty shades."

He watches me for a nanosecond more before leaning down and taking my lips into the sweetest of kisses. "We should sleep now Mrs. Grey."

"Yes, sir," I grin and turn over on my side, away from him. I feel him put his arm around my waist and pull my body against his, spooning me from behind. He sits up for a moment to bring the covers over our naked bodies and then snuggles back against me, tangling our legs together.

"I love you, sleep well my beautiful wife."

I murmur my goodnights wistfully, as I am already drifting into a deep sleep.

**"Email it to me** Welch. Yes, that's fine, thank you. If I need anything else I'll be in touch." I listen to the one-sided phone conversation between Christian and Welch. He is standing in front of the window, looking over the sound, awash with the mood of dawn. Standing in nothing but his pajama pants that hang from his hips, he is still very much in control, dominating the conversation in which I assume they are referring to the background check on Leslie. The finely etched muscles in his back move in synchronization as he shifts his weight, listening intently to Welch before ending the phone call and striding quietly back over to our bed. I am lying on my side, Ted is gazing up at me with wide eyes as he nurses, enjoying his breakfast. He rejoins us and lays down, cradling our baby between our bodies.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I can wait until Ted finishes."

"Welch has the information I requested, he is sending it to me now."

"What do you want it to say?"

"Isn't that an odd question, what do you mean?"

"Well, it would be easy to turn away if Leslie's background check isn't clean but if it is…" I leave the rest of my thought hanging, suspended in the air between us. I know Christian understands where I was going with my train of thought though.

He watches me, absorbing my words before speaking. "I don't know if it would be easier either way Ana. I do not wish ill on this woman." This is a revelation to me, it shouldn't be though. I know my husband's heart and he is not a cruel man, he is only damaged by his past. "The decision I make will not be about her, instead it will be based on what I want for myself and my family."

"I didn't mean that you…" He holds his hand up to stop me.

"Meeting a member of my birth family was beyond my control Anastasia, it happened and I was not searching for it, never had any intention to either. I am treading on unfamiliar territory. Reading this background check is the first tool I will use to help make my next move."

**After breakfast Christian holds** up in his study, I know he is reading and more than likely rereading the documents on his aunt repeatedly, combing through every word of it until he is satisfied with the job Welch has done. I busy myself cleaning up from breakfast and begin preparing vegetables for a pot of minestrone soup. There are few things I find more comforting than a huge pot of soup simmering slowly on the stove on a cold day. Something about it warms me from the inside out. Teddy looks on from his swing, jabbering at me while I work.

"Are you going to eat some of Mommy's soup Teddy?"

"Dada..dada…bbbbb…" a puddle of drool forms under his chin and I takes his ring of baby ducks from his lap, bringing it to his mouth and chewing on one of the ducks heads.

"Is that a yes? Or does the ducky taste better to you?" I tickle under his chin and he giggles. My blackberry begins ringing and I quickly grab a kitchen towel to wipe my hands before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Annie?" I hear Ray's voice on the other end.

"Yes, Daddy it's me." I smile and tickle Ted again, multiple grins and laughs erupt from him again. "And Teddy's here with me too."

"I hear him; it's so good to hear him laughing. It reminds me so much of you when you were a little girl." Oh, Daddy, I love how much Ray loves me and how much he loves his grandson. "Listen Annie, I was calling about Thanksgiving…"

"You're not cancelling are you? Christian and I are looking forward to having both of our families here for the holiday."

"I wouldn't dream of cancelling. Gramps cannot wait to see his little partner."

"Good," I smile and feel relieved. I am counting down the days until we are all together again. The last time was Kate's wedding and that was all too brief not to mention hectic. I hear Ray hesitate and an uncomfortable feeling settles around me. There's something he's not telling me.

"Listen Annie…I don't want to put you and Christian out, but I was wondering if I could bring someone with me. If you both don't mind that is…"

Bring someone? Oh my…my daddy has a girlfriend. The idea makes me grin. It's been so long since he and my mother divorced and to my knowledge there has not been anyone since then. Ray has been a loner all these years. He dedicated himself to raising me and once I moved away to college he threw himself headfirst into his work.

"Of course we don't mind."

"Here name's Lynn and we've been seeing each other for a few months now. I understand if you're not comfortable with it sweetheart, especially with your mom coming and all."

"Daddy, I would love for you to bring Lynn. Don't worry about Mom. She's got Bob and you've been dealing with her new husbands for years. You deserve to be happy Daddy and I would love to meet Lynn." I hear him blow out a breath, no doubt thankful for how smooth our conversation went. "Will you two be arriving on Wednesday?"

"We hadn't thought that far ahead yet."

"Well, Mom and Bob won't be here until Thursday morning. Bob has to work Wednesday. You and Lynn are more than welcome to come and stay here."

"Thank you so much Annie. I will definitely mention it to Lynn and get back with you."

We say our goodbyes and Ray tells me to give Ted a kiss from Gramps before hanging up. I don't want to play go between where my parents are concerned but I know I need to tell my mother about Ray bringing his girlfriend before Thanksgiving Day arrives. Carla Adams does not do well with surprises and even though it was she who left Ray and moved on to husband number three I fully expect for her to be none too thrilled with the idea of Ray bringing Lynn to Thanksgiving dinner. I finish putting my chopped vegetables in the pot and turn the knob to low before placing the cover on my large stainless steel stock pot.

"Let's go find Daddy my sweet Ted and tell him about Gramps new lady friend." I lift Ted from his swing and prop him on my hip, deciding to go in search of Christian.

I lightly knock on the closed study door before opening it. Christian is sitting behind his desk pouring over what he is reading on the computer screen in front of him. He looks up to acknowledge our entrance, an intense amount of strain stretches over his face.

"Hey baby," he says and I give him a small smile, continuing to walk over to him. He pushes his chair away from the desk and swivels it, holding his arms out in an open invitation which I gladly accept. Sitting down on his lap Ted and I are immediately enveloped in loving strong arms. Christian nuzzles my neck, pressing light warm kisses against my skin.

"Ray called," I begin.

"He did? How is he doing?"

"Well. He asked if he could bring someone to Thanksgiving dinner with him." The kisses stop and Christian draws back to look at me, he raises an eyebrow in expectation, encouraging me to continue. "Her name's Lynn and apparently they've been seeing each other for a few months now."

"And you're okay with this?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be? Ray's a grown man and I want to see him happy."

"Hmmm…and what about your mother? How do you think she'll handle Ray having a girlfriend here for the holiday?"

I flatten my lips out and press them into a thin line. He hit the nail on the head with that observation, quick. "That's my only concern. I'm not sure how she's going to conduct herself with this new development. I don't want to be a tattle tale but I feel like I need to tell her before everyone arrives."

"I think that's a wise choice, you're only heading off a prospectively uncomfortable situation by doing so." I know he's right. Carla Adams has no problem with bringing new men into our lives but the chances of her appreciating Ray doing the same and finding his own relationship are slim to none.

"I've invited Ray and Lynn to stay with us that Wednesday night. I hope you don't mind?"

He caresses Ted's cheek. "I don't mind at all baby." He says. Ted is beginning to doze; his head snuggled against my breast. I guess all of the rocking in his swing has tuckered him out.

"I'm going to go nurse him and lay him down for his morning nap."

Christian kisses my lips and tells me that he'll be right up once he finishes a few things. I cradle my sleepy baby to my body and take him up to the nursery, hoping that Christian will share the background check information with me when he joins us.


	37. Chapter 37

**I am placing a** sleeping Ted in his crib just as Christian opens the door to enter the room. I signal for him to be quiet then grab the baby monitor from his changing table and tip toe across the room to where he is standing.

"He just fell asleep," I tell him. Softly I close the door behind us, leaving it open just a tad and turn to face Christian.

"I've lit a fire downstairs, care to join me in front of it?" He asks. Hmmm…this has possibilities. I can't help but smirk to myself. Taking my hand in his he leads me down the stairs where a roaring blaze is waiting to warm me. My eyes take in the rest of the scene, two glasses of red wine sit on the coffee table accompanied by a manila envelope.

"Sit with me?" He indicates with his hand for us to sit amongst the bunch of throw pillows he has arranged on the floor in front of the fireplace.

We sit and I pick up my glass of wine, taking a sip I watch Christian curiously, waiting for him to speak. He reaches for the envelope and begins to open it as he speaks. "This is the background check I requested from Welch." He explains, I nod my head and take another drink before returning my glass to the table. He places a stack of papers in my hands, "You can read it if you would like."

I look down at the perfect heap of computer paper in my hands, lines of words in black outlining every aspect of my husband's biological aunt's life. I feel like an intruder at the thought of even reading one word but I know Christian does not see it that way. I shake my head 'no' and hand them back to him. "It's okay; you can tell me what it says if you want to."

"What? You don't want to read it?"

"Not really, no."

"Why?"

I sigh, trying my best not to sound exasperated. "It's just not who I am Christian. I wouldn't feel right delving into her private life this way. All I need to know is that you are comfortable with who she is."

"She is who she says she is," shaking his head as if in a state of disbelief he pauses then continues, "Leslie Hayes Stound, born in 1970 to Lynne and Richard Hayes, sister to Ella Hayes, married in 1990 to Greg Stound. Her background check came back clear. She has no children and has maintained the same job for twenty years as a medical clerk. There is nothing outstanding about her life or corrupt either. She and her husband live a typical lower middle class lifestyle."

"How do you feel about that?"

He shrugs his shoulders dismissively, "I'm glad she did not go down the same road as her sister did."

I lift my wine glass and gulp down another sip before returning it to the table. His reaction is cool and collected, neutral as I expected. "So where do we go from here?"

Peering at me through unbiased eyes I can tell he is studying my reaction as well as my question as to where he plans to go now that he has the information he sought out. Our contemplative stares break long enough for him to file the papers back into the envelope he took them from and set it aside. I take the opportunity to stand on my knees, coming to kneel in front of him. I think he's shocked by my change in position when he looks back up. Not giving him a chance to speak first I place both of my hands on his face, feeling the stubble on his cheeks. He hasn't shaved since Friday, I love his longer scruff. It feels soft and scratchy all at the same time beneath my fingertips.

He watches me with circumspect, obviously waiting for me to try to convince him to call Leslie and solicit the idea of forming a relationship with her. I don't though. I promised myself not to interfere anymore and I intend to keep that promise.

"No matter how you choose to proceed from here I want you to know that you have my full support. This is not about me, it never has been. This is your past, not mine and I know that whatever your decision is you will consider all angles and make the best choice for you personally, and really, that is all I can ask for."

I think my admission takes him by surprise because suddenly I feel his arms wrapping around my waist, supporting me and guiding me to laydown amongst the abundance of soft pillows. He follows me until his body is hovering over mine. I want to yelp and laugh from surprise however; the expression on his face is anything but humorous. Instead I see nothing but passionate love in his solemn gray eyes. Just lying here, nose to nose, not speaking, only watching and breathing I feel our intense connection with each other sparking and igniting. Kindling a burning flame which has been between us since the first moment we touched.

"I'm going to make love to you now Mrs. Grey."

"Okay," I whisper hoarsely just before he takes my lips with his, melding them together as he presses his body into mine.

The sensation of his hardness pressing between my legs through the fabric of my yoga pants and panties urges on the increasing ache which is building. His kiss is powerful and consuming, his tongue twists and dances with mine, tasting every inch of my mouth before moving down my neck. Momentarily he breaks his mouth away from my skin to lift my t-shirt over my head and discard it on the floor next to us. I rise up to aide in this motion and then lie back down, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him back to me. I itch to touch his bare skin, wanting to remove his shirt too. He must sense my desire because he quickly pulls it off before returning to me.

My breasts swell in my bra, against his chiseled chest, his soft hair tickling and tantalizing my exposed skin. His lips find that soft swell and move across it, peppering each breast with warm moist licks and kisses. I feel his longer fingers move from my back to my front, effectively unsnapping my nursing bra, giving him access to my hardened nipples. He blows gently before flicking his tongue against each peak, as if in response a drop of milk forms on each point. Greedily he laps at them before settling on my right breast first, giving it his undivided attention he suckles. My head is spinning but I notice his hands have traveled down to my waist and he has hooked his fingers in my pants and panties. He slides them down to my knees. _Please don't let anyone walk in, we are in the middle of the great room, the baby is napping upstairs and I am basically naked under my husband. _It's the weekend, no one is coming, relax and enjoy. My inner goddess screams at me with her head thrown back in ecstasy.

The fire cracks and pops to my right, warming my exposed skin. Oh God, I moan out loud, failing all attempts to be mindful of my volume. Christian lifts his head to stare into my eyes, blazing gray coals, alight with fire.

"I'm going to take you now…you are so beautiful." With my arms now limp at my sides, my body feeling tightly coiled and tranquil all at the same time, I glance down to see his erection pressing against my entrance. _When did he take his pants off? _ He pauses for a beat, holding himself there.

"Please, Christian. I want you inside of me." My voice is a frantic plea, imploring him to satisfy me in a way that only he can.

Without a word he presses into me gentle, moving slowly until he reaches the hilt, filling and stretching me with every delicious inch of himself.

"I…love…you…Christian," I breathe out, my legs quiver on either side of his hips. He draws back and re-enters with the same delectable slow pace as before. I want so badly to close my eyes and absorb the pleasure radiating through my body but I don't. I keep my eyes trained on him, watching him close his eyes instead and tilt his head towards the heavens.

"My Ana…My sweet, sweet Ana," he groans. The muscles in his arms quiver, holding him upright, over my body. I try to move my legs, endeavoring to wrap them around his waist and cross my ankles at his lower back but it is a struggle. He refuses to allow me to complete the action though. He places his hands on my knees and effectively forces them apart, stilling me from moving at all. "Open for me baby, this is how I want you. Please, Ana." I bit my lip and nod. He draws out in a long stroke and we begin to move in unison, climbing and reaching for satisfaction together, both refusing to let go until we are both fulfilled and satisfied.

**Monday morning shows itself **all too soon. Interrupting our weekend and reminding us that a new week has arrived. It has only been a week since I was last at work but it feels as though it has been much longer. Stepping out of the SUV and onto the curb in front of Grey's Publishing I smooth my brown wool pants and wrap my sage knit sweater closer around me. The wind has a bite to it today.

"I'll be back around five Mrs. Grey?" Taylor asks, confirming the time I will be leaving work.

"Yes, Taylor that will be perfect, thank you." He walks with me to open the glass door, allowing me to enter the building, before walking back the SUV and pulling away. We dropped Christian at work first this morning due to an early morning meeting he had scheduled, but he should be with Taylor when he comes back to collect me this evening.

Ellen, our intern, greets me cheerily from behind her desk. "Good morning Mrs. Grey," she chirps happily. "Claire is not in today but Hannah is expecting you."

"Thank you Ellen," I say taking the handful of mail she is offering to me. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"I did ma'am, thank you for asking."

I finish thumbing through the envelopes quickly before looking back up at her. "I'm glad. Well, have a good day."

I stop by Hannah's office to let her know I am here before I go to my desk. She is engrossed in something on her computer screen and my knock on her door frame startles her.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you Mrs. Grey," she gasps and almost jumps back out of surprise.

"I just got in, no worries. Will you be ready to brief me on this week's schedule in about thirty minutes?"

"I'll be there with the calendar in tow," she grins at me. "Is there anything I can bring for you?"

"No thank you." I return her smile and go to my office, taking a seat at my desk I fire up my laptop to catch up on a week of emails. My stomach rumbles reminding me of my all too early breakfast this morning after Ted decided to start his day just before the sun came up, demanding to be nursed which of course made me hungry. I reach into my desk drawer and retrieve one of the many snacks I keep on hand, a dried cranberry and almond granola bar. Tearing open the package I take a bite and begin pouring over emails.

Hannah's update session with me is uneventful for the most part. Roach has two new independent authors who have gone the e-book route and published a number of books on their own. H would like for us to review their work and possibly offer them a contract with our publishing company. I ask Hannah to get the biographical details for me and I jot down the authors names. I plan to look research them and their work on my own as well.

I am also needed to sit in on the final interviews with our four perspective interns from UW. There are only two available positions but we have four students who have made it to the final round of interviews. The idea of telling two young hopeful students 'no' is not a savory one to me; I do not want to dash their hopes and dreams in any way. The memory of being a young, almost college graduate on the cusp of my future is still very fresh to me. I want nothing more than to help these students reach their goals. The first interview is scheduled for tomorrow morning at nine with the second following immediately after. The other two will take place on Wednesday morning.

I work straight through lunch, never stopping to look at the clock until my phone rings. At that point I glance at the little clock in the bottom right corner of my computer screen; it's after two in the afternoon. I pick up the phone, crooking my neck to the side to prop it up while my fingers continue to fly over my keyboard.

"Grey's Publishing, Anastasia Grey speaking."

"I love hearing you say that." He purrs through the phone, his silky smooth voice tickling my ear. "How has your day been baby?"

I feel myself grinning like a loon in response to his charismatic tone. "What do you love hearing me say? And my day has been good but busy."

"Anastasia, I love hearing you say your full name." Butterflies unleash in my stomach, he is pure, magnetic sex.

"You sound tired."

"I am, but I'm happy. I feel very accomplished today." And it's true, today has been busy and challenging all at the same time. I revel in days like this; they make me feel very proficient at my job. "How has your day been?"

"Average, it will be much better when I have you back in my arms and my lips on your body."

"Mr. Grey, behave yourself," I chide him with mock annoyance. "You are at work and so am I."

"I'm alone, are you?"

"Yes, but…"

"No buts then baby, no one can hear us."

In my mind's eye I can see him there in his office, dressed in his delicious navy blue suite with a crisp white shirt and matching navy tie. I know he's sitting in his chair at his desk, leaning back with his ankle propped on his opposite knee. His hair tousled across his forehead, I'd love to be there right now, running my fingers through those locks. An enchanting smile is teasing the corners of his mouth much like the one tugging at the corners of mine. Only my mouth is now dry from his flirtatious implications.

"Where would you like for me to kiss you first?" _Oh my, this is so naughty. _

"Hmmm?"

"Where Anastasia?" He demands softly.

"My neck,"

"Oh baby, I think you can do better than that."

"Christian,"

"Tell me,"

"My breasts, I want for you to do what you did yesterday afternoon." I say hurriedly, please do not let Hannah be outside of the door. I would simply die if she or anyone else heard me right now.

"What did I do yesterday afternoon?" He goads me.

"You know." My voice is a squealing whisper.

"I want to hear you say it."

I draw in a breath, gathering my wits. I can play at this game. _Yes you can_, my inner goddess cheers me on. "I want to feel your hot breath against my hard nipples."

"And?"

"I want to feel you wrap your lips around them, one at a time, sucking me and taking my milk into your mouth."

"Baby, I'm so hard right now just thinking about it."

"Then I want for you to move down and taste me, there."

"Are you wet for me Anastasia?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"Good, stay wet for me baby. I'll be there to collect you in a few hours."

"Okay."

"Laters baby," he says before hanging up.

I am left bereft and wanting from his erotic midday phone call. What brought that on? _Who cares!_ My inner goddess screams at me, _he keeps your marriage hot and interesting_. Yes he does, he most certainly does. Attempting to shake my arousal aside until later I try to shift my focus back to the task at hand. It is a fruitless endeavor though. The words of Christian Grey replay over and over again in my mind, leaving me wanting him. Five o'clock cannot come soon enough.


	38. Chapter 38

A knock sounds at my door, tugging my attention away from the short biography on Lenore Everson, one of the indie author's Roach is championing for.

"Come in," I call peaking up over the top of my computer.

"It's almost five Mrs. Grey, if it's alright with you I'm going to head out just a tad early? My parents are in town and we're meeting for dinner."

"Yes, that's fine Hannah. You enjoy your evening." I smile at her. "Just leave my door open, I'm about to run and make some copies, then I'll be going home myself." She tells me to have a good evening as well and leaves.

I stretch my neck, craning it from left to right, it feel so stiff, along with my shoulders and my back. I guess it should though. I've been sitting in this chair for almost eight hours straight. I've only gotten up once or twice for a bathroom break. I reach for another granola bar and realize that the lunch Mrs. Jones packed for me is still completely intact. I didn't even stop to eat lunch, or to pump. No wonder I'm so uncomfortable. It has been so long since I have been so completely absorbed in my work that I forgot to eat or pump for Ted. I glance at my clock, fifteen minutes before five. I do not have enough time to pump now. I take my sacked lunch from my fridge and quickly eat half of my turkey sandwich, alternating it with sips of bottled water and bites of granola bar. My stomach grumbles in thanks, I guess I was hungrier than I thought.

I'm rolling up my trash to toss it in the waste basket when I hear Ellen call my name before walking in to my office, carrying a large box in her arms. "These were just delievered," she explains, "Since Mr. Roach is not here I thought I should bring them to you?"

I stand and walk over to meet her halfway. "What are they?" I ask looking at the packing order on top of the box.

"First editions of several new books."

After examining the piece of paper I help her to set the box on the floor beside my desk. "I'll look at this tomorrow, thank you Ellen. I'm getting ready to call it a day. Are you ready to leave as well?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'll be done in a few minutes."

"If I leave before you don't forget that security will be in the building for a few hours and have a good evening."

She turns to leave, nearly colliding with Christian as he enters the room. I watch her become flustered, blushing red as she stutters to find her words. "Ex…Excuse me sir, Mr. Grey. I'm so sorry I didn't see you there."

He merely nods at her politely and then side steps to let her pass by him. She glances back at me and I smile at her before she dashes from the room. Well, that was awkward. _Awkward?_ My subconscious raises a speculative eyebrow at me. _ That girl may be sweet but there is definitely something about here that is more than awkward. _I put all of my current thoughts aside and focus on the fact that my beautiful husband has come to collect me from work. That is until I see his eyes fixated on my left over very late lunch trash which is still sitting on my desk, having never made it into the waste basket.

"Just eating lunch Mrs. Grey?" He asks. I don't know why he's asking, it's not as if he doesn't already know the answer.

"I was busy and time got away from me. Don't give me that look or that tone Grey. I'm fine, I ate. You know very well that I eat more than I ever did before now that Ted is here and have since I became pregnant with him."

He watches me for a second and I am relieved to see his expression change. Good it seems as though he is willing to let this go and move on. He comes to wrap his arms around me. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yes, I have two UW students coming to interview for internships tomorrow and then two more the day after." I answer him, placing my hands on his forearms and meeting his gaze with my own.

"Then we'll have lunch together tomorrow and Wednesday. That way I know you're eating."

"Honestly Christian."

"Are you saying that you don't want to have lunch with your handsome, debonair husband?"

I grin at his imitated emotion of dismay and hurt. "Not at all, I would love to have lunch with you."

"Good," he grins, "Taylor will be busy with his daughter for the next few days, something about her mother being out of town, so we'll bring the R8."

"You've got a date, Mr. Grey."

"Oh, I think I've got more than a date."

His soft lips find mine, melding together. He nips my bottom lip and pulls me in closer, one of his hands travelling down to squeeze my bottom. I whimper from the slight discomfort of the pressure against my chest. I cannot tell Christian that I forgot to pump, he will not let go of that as easily as he let go of the whole me forgetting to eat lunch thing. I attempt to pull away slightly to alleviate some of the pressure against my full breasts.

"Why are you pulling away from me?" Christian asks breaking away from my lips he looks toward the door to see if someone has walked in the room.

"I'm not," I try to brush off my discomfort. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Mmmmm…" He brings his other hand up to cup my left breast, flicking his thumb over my nipple through my soft sweater. "I'm not sure if we'll make it home." I bite my bottom lip to stifle any sound, suddenly feeling very engorged. I need to nurse Ted or pump. He looks up at me, examining my face. "Baby, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just need to get home and nurse Ted."

"You didn't pump today did you?"

"Christian…I…"

His tone is shifting from playfully passionate to snappy and terse. "Ana, if you are going to work away from Ted you have to pump."

"I know that. It was a mistake, I was busy and forgot. I'm very uncomfortable now and I need to feed Ted." There, take that Grey.

He stands back from me, dropping his arms to his sides. "I'm sorry for being brusque." I watch him for a few seconds before turning to throw my trash away and grabbing my things.

"I'm sorry too Christian. I know you're only concerned. Today was unusually busy for me. Claire was out and so was Roach. Everyone will be back tomorrow though, it won't happen again."

"Do you need to pump now baby?" He offers and I feel myself softening towards him further.

"I'll be fine." He takes my briefcase from my grasp and placing his hand on the small of my back he leads me out of my office.

In the lobby Ellen is gathering her personal items and shutting her computer down as we pass her. "Have a good evening Mr. and Mrs. Grey." She smiles, waving to us both.

I sense that most of her attention is pointed in the direction of Christian though. The thought unsettles me a bit but I try to take it all in stride. It is very typical for women to fall all over themselves in his presence. Ellen is merely a college student struck by his stunning good looks. She has not behaved inappropriately at all and I do not want to jump to conclusions. I will not be 'that wife', the one who puts her claws out every time a woman glances in the direction of her husband. Christian is married to me and goes home with me to our family every night. That is all I need to know, his love is firmly planted with me.

**Teddy's hungry cry meets** my ears the moment we enter the house. I hastily discard my coat, briefcase and purse to the floor and walk down the hall to find him, it sounds as if he is in the kitchen. I find him there with Gail; she is busy making a bottle for him while he waits impatiently in his swing.

"Mrs. Grey, dinner is ready for you and Mr. Grey," she begins, still actively working on her task. I reach for Ted who has now locked his gray eyes on me. Tiny tears glisten on his cheeks. "I can give him his bottle while you two eat if you would like."

"Thank you Gail, I appreciate it but I need to nurse him." She stops and watches me lift him from his swing, he is quiet now.

"He had some carrots and peas earlier but wants his milk now. He's been a very active boy all day."

"Have you been keeping Mrs. Taylor busy?" I ask my little boy.

"He's been a perfect little boy as always."

"I'll leave this bottle in the refrigerator then if you need it later?"

"Yes, thank you."

I sit down in one of the kitchen chairs and after placing Ted's bottle in the fridge Gail brings over two covered plates, setting one in front of me and the other at Christian's place. He hasn't come in yet, but I can hear him talking to Taylor in the hall. Dinner smells delicious and I know what it is instantly, Gail's chicken pot pie, my favorite. Next she places a glass of milk in front of me and pours a glass of wine for Christian. I thank her and she leaves me to enjoy the meal she prepared. First I must feed my Ted who is becoming fussy all over again. I lift my sweater and unsnap my bra, offering him my left breast first. I feel a rush of relief when my milk let's down for Ted. He is content as well, his earlier cries of hunger forgotten.

"There you are Mommy," Christian walks in the room and sits down beside me. "Better?" He asks and I know he is asking if I feel better now that Ted is nursing.

"Much, we both needed this I think." I say and grin down at my suckling baby. "Gail was making a bottle for him when I got here."

Leaning over he presses a kiss to my temple while caressing Ted's face with his fingers. "He wanted to be near his mommy though."

Teddy grunts and sighs with satisfaction, his fingers kneading my skin softly. Work was so demanding today that I did not have a moment to breathe. Now in this moment, feeding my baby at my breast, I realize how much I missed him. I need him and he needs me.

"Christian, I'm only going to work tomorrow and Wednesday. I want to stay with Ted on Thursday and Friday."

"Baby, you can do whatever you want to do. You know that."

I nod and feel tears welling up behind my eyes. What is wrong with me? I've been going back and forth between work and home for four months now. I haven't been as busy though as I was today. I'm tired and I'm hungry. I know my emotions are amplified by those facts. Christian takes our napkins from the table, placing mine on my lap and his on his own lap.

"Let me feed you sweet girl." He lifts the covers from our dishes. Picking up my fork he cuts into my potpie.

"I can wait; you go ahead and eat while I feed Ted."

Refusing to listen to me he offers me a forkful of chicken, peas and carrots. I give him my shy smile before taking the food. It tastes so good. "No, I will feed my beautiful wife as she nurses our son." His words melt my heart like they always do. I swallow and take the next bite.

We sit in the kitchen, eating our dinner. Christian alternating between feeding me and himself, all the while our sweet baby boy nurses at my breast. Breathing softly, making his adorable baby sounds.


	39. Chapter 39

***A few words of encouragement...THERE WILL NEVER BE ANY CHEATING IN MY STORY. I've said it before but I had a few frantic readers review their concerns after reading my last few chapters. Don't sweat it girls, trust me ;) There's got to be a little drama or where would the story go? In the books our main conflict was Christian as a person, then there was Elena, then there was Leila...see where I'm going with this? You have to have side stories to support your main idea. Ellen is a side story...just trust me. Sit back and enjoy the ride ;) I hope you all like this next chapter, some more sweet moments with Christian and Ted.*****

**I am standing in** the shower letting the hot water beat down on my face. It washes away the hectic day at work unwinding me and leaving me feeling at ease. Dinner with Christian and Ted was calming and now this moment completes the mood. Christian insisted I go enjoy a hot shower while he tended to our son. When I left them they were playing peek-a-boo on the couch with each other. Ted giggling at his daddy's antics, both of their faces illuminated with pure joy. Turning the knob the water ceases and I step out with the sudden urge to dry off and dress quickly. I love sneaking up on my boys, watching them when they don't know I'm there. I pull my hair back in a wet pony tail and slip on a pair of gray sweat pants and a white camisole before going in search of them.

The first notes of a familiar tune being played on the piano greet my ears as I descend the steps. I halt right away, peering down to the corner of the great room where the black grand piano sits near the window. The complete darkness of night frames the form of my husband who sits on the piano bench holding our son in his lap. The floor lamp beside them lights their location in the vast room. Christian's melodic voice floats like a gentle breeze, soothing his tiny spellbound audience of one.

"Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky," he sings so sweetly, playing only the simple notes of the treble cleft.

Even from this distance I am able to witness the look of enchantment on Ted's dear face as he absorbs his father's voice, touch and scent. He is cradled in absolute love. When Christian finishes through the lyrics of the simple song he begins again. Playing it several times before looking up to see me standing on the staircase.

"I think Mommy's watching us Ted," he whispers to our little boy. I finish walking down the steps and take a seat beside them on the bench.

"That was beautiful Daddy, play us something else." Teddy reaches his arms out for me and I take him, cradling him against my chest. He smells perfect, of fresh baby shampoo, lavender lotion and my baby boy. I cannot resist the urge to lean down and breathe him in, so delicate in his fleece pajamas, his skin tender and soft. He grunts and nuzzles at my breast. Easily I lift my camisole and he latches on. "There, there my sweet boy," I lilt the words to him and watch his eyes as they grow drowsy.

Christian's fingers move purposefully over the keys, producing a gentle tune, swirling around us like summer breeze. We are cocooned in this moment, safe and treasured.

"What was that?" I ask him as he plays the last few notes.

"It was called, Long Awaited Love." He answers, gazing upon Ted and I with glowing gray eyes. How apt and perfect for this moment, I muse to myself.

"Will you play it again? I think he's almost asleep."

Wordlessly he begins to play the piece again. The music moves me the same as it did before. I find myself leaning my head on his shoulder, my eyes downcast, watching my nursing baby. His eyes finally closing, his suckling beginning to slow until it ceases. He is lost in dreamland, sleeping in my arms. I feel myself drifting too, the melody and fluid motions of Christian's muscles acting on me like a sleeping tonic, lulling me to sleep.

"Let's get you both to bed my sweet girl." He whispers kissing the top of my head. I lift my head from his shoulder to look at him and try to stifle a yawn. I hadn't even heard the music stop. He laughs softly and before I know it he is standing and bends down, lifting Ted and I both into his arms. "My arms and my heart, they are both so full." He says and I smile, feeling his kiss once more in my hair.

**An unusual break in the** rainy November weather gives way to a morning full of bright sunshine. In turn Christian and I both smother Ted's face in kisses before handing him over to Gail's waiting arms. He jabbers and coos to Gail as she lifts his little hand urging him to wave 'bye bye' to his Daddy and Mommy. I kiss him once more before allow Christian to lead me out the front door to the waiting black Audi R8.

I take a sip of my tea which Gail so graciously prepared for me in my thermal to-go cup and lean my head back, allowing the sun to warm me through the windows. The world passes by me in a blur and I take this moment to mental go over my to-do list for the day. Roach will be back and Claire should be as well. That thought makes me think of our new intern Ellen; she's so sweet but something about her still tugs at my nerves the wrong way. I wish I could put my finger on it, the only thing I am certain of is the fact that she is affected my Christian's beauty, but then most women are.

My thoughts are interrupted when I feel the car beginning to slow down as Christian shifts it into a lower gear. Traffic is almost at a standstill in front of us, no doubt just the typical rush hour morning congestion from everyone heading into Seattle. We were out the door a bit later than usual because I wanted to nurse Ted myself this morning instead of having Gail give him his bottle.

"What time did you say your first interview is?"

"It's not until nine." I sip more of my tea; we should be there in plenty of time. If not I can always call Roach and have him begin without me.

"Claire and Roach will be back in today?"

"Yes."

He inches the car forward a few inches, moving at the creeping pace with the rest of the vehicles. "Do you know if Roach is running background checks on these new interns he is hiring from UW?

"No. Should he?"

"I would prefer it if he did." The unwelcome thought of Ellen Wise springs to my mind once more. "I will approach the matter with him when we arrive. I want to ensure that any new interns have a full background check done as well as the one he has already hired. It should be mandatory practice within the company. In fact I know I have broached this subject with him before. I will not tolerate him disregarding my requests."

Domineering business Christian is in full appearance this morning. I do not expect anything less though; he has always made my safety his top priority.

"Is this about Ellen, our new HR intern?" I ask, cutting to the chase. I wonder if he's had the same thoughts about her as I have.

With traffic at a stop again he turns to look at me, "Yes, as a matter of a fact it is. There's something about that woman I don't like. I cannot pinpoint it but…"

"She admires you." I finish for him.

"Baby, I don't care. She can admire all she wants," he flashes me his million dollar smile before continuing, his expression growing more serious. "I don't think a silly school girl crush is all she's about though and I intend to find out what her game is."

Traffic begins to flow again at a slow and steady pace as we move through the congestion. Christian's gut feeling about people is seldom off. "Will you share the background check on her with me once you have it?"

"Certainly, hopefully Welch can have it done before lunch. Incidentally, where would you like to go for lunch?" He asks, changing the subject and moving us into more lighthearted territory.

"Oh, I don't know. Surprise me."

He grins and moves his hand over to squeeze my knee. I relax back in my seat and smile to myself as the objects outside of my window begin to blur by me at a higher rate of speed.

Hurriedly I gather my iPad and necessary papers together before meeting Roach in the conference room. He is seated at the first chair to the right of the head of the table, the seat where I will sit. Christian spoke with him this morning in regard to the background checks. Considering Roach has yet to look me in the eye since I entered the room I assume he is still bristling from the onslaught of questioning and disapproval from the one and only Christian Grey. Before leaving Christian stopped back by my office to inform me of the lack of managerial skills used during the hiring process of Ellen Wise which resulted in the overlooking of running a background check. Apparently Roach also failed to remain in contact with Washington State University about the student who we were planning to hire as an intern to work in HR with Ellen and Claire. I like Roach well enough but he is treading on very thin ice with Christian and I for one would not like to be in his shoes. Thankfully Hannah is on the phone with WSU at this moment; hopefully she can do enough damage control with the university and get the other student in for an interview ASAP.

The young man, Ryan Stall, who comes in for the first interview is professional, well organized and eager to enter the world of editing. I like him immediately and make nothing but positive notes throughout the entire meeting. The second interview goes just as well and I am confident that both young men, Bryan Stall and Brent Lowe, will be positive additions to our staff. They are optimistic interns and are both enthusiastic as well as knowledgeable and they will graduate in May of 2013, a great combination. Once the necessary paperwork has been completed I plan for them to begin working right away.

Roach began the first interview with a tight lip but by the end of the second had loosened up considerably. I don't want to lose him as an employee. He knows his job well and is generally good at it if you overlook these few recent missteps. Briefly I wonder if there is something going on in his personal life which is affecting his professional one. I don't dwell on it though because really it is none of my business.

With the last interview wrapped up I thank Roach for his help and gather my things to make my way back to my office. Hannah stops me in the hall to give me the information on the perspective intern from WSU, thankfully another company has not snatched her up yet. I ask Hannah to set up an interview with her, hopefully for tomorrow or Thursday. I was planning to take Thursday and Friday off with Ted. Maybe Wednesday will work for the interview, I know it is short notice but I really would like to spend the last part of the week at home with my baby. Sure, I know Christian could handle the interview with Roach and would do so gladly, but this company is my baby too and I want to be as involved as I can. I wish there were a magical answer to solve all of my problems. If there is though, it has yet to present itself to me.

An email from Christian is waiting for me when I get back to my desk, I smile to myself as I open it.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Lunch

**Date: **November 13 2012 11:00

**To: **Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey,

I will be collecting you at noon for our lunch date.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Lunch…Mmmmmm

**Date: **November 13 2012 11:40

**To: **Christian Grey

Then I only have twenty minutes left before you arrive. You'd better hurry Mr. Grey, I'm ravenous.

Anastasia Grey

CEO, Grey Publishing

I file away my notes from this morning and shut down my computer before grabbing my purse and make a quick stop by the restroom before heading down to the lobby to wait for Christian. I run into Ryan, our head of security at Grey's Publishing now, and chat briefly with him before continuing on my way. Christian is waiting for me when I arrive. He turns from where he is talking with Claire and extends his hand out to me. His gray eyes twinkling at the sight of me, he looks delicious in his gray suit and tie, that tie.

"Ravenous?" He whispers in my ear, drawing me near to his side.

"Yes," I whisper back in the same tone.

"Do you think lunch at Cherry Street will quell your hunger?"

"Perhaps my hunger for food," I answer knowing full and well what I am doing to him.

Claire pretends not to watch us but I can't help to notice her few fleeting glances, accompanied by her knowing smile.

"I'll be back in about an hour Claire," I tell her as we walk out the door.

"Enjoy yourselves," she calls back to me and I see her wink just as the door closes.


	40. Chapter 40

Woot Woot! Here's another one for you girls. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all of your reviews. I hope you enjoy our little lunch break with Christian.

Christian merges the R8 into the lunch hour traffic with flawless ease. Who knew that watching a man drive could be so damn sexy? I find myself practically drooling as I watch him shift, his large hand commanding the car, his muscular thigh moving ever so subtly while his foot presses and releases the clutch. What has gotten into me? _Him!_ My subconscious and inner goddess both scream in unison. Oh, yes, the sexing last night and the night before, both delicious events I will not soon forget, but then every time with Christian is memorable. Maybe I should start a book or something, a naughty personal memoir noting our sexual escapades for me to read when I have grown old and gray.

A beautiful song begins playing over the sound system in the car; I recognize it immediately, _The Flower Duet. _With ease I recall the first time I heard it. The feminine operatic voices surround me, flowing like a silk ribbon.

"I love this." I tell him. Stopped at a red light he looks over at me.

"I recall the first time we listened to this together."

"Me too."

He lifts his finger to trace the outline of my jaw. "You are so beautiful today Anastasia, you are beautiful everyday but today I can see a bright flush in your cheeks, your blue eyes sparkling with happiness. What has brought on your good mood?"

I shrug, I don't know if there is any one explanation. "Everything just feels right in the world I suppose. I love my work; I have you and our beautiful son. It just feels like the world is at my feet. I can't explain it."

Before the light changes to green he leans over and kisses my lips tenderly. I am left breathless from the heat of his touch. It leaves me wanting more.

Cherry Street Coffee House is located very near the apartment Kate and I shared briefly when we first arrived in Seattle. It has become one of my favorite places to grab lunch. Christian and I take a seat in the corner at one of the avocado colored tables. We don't even need to look at a menu; we both know what we want Christian orders two Falafel sandwiches with side salads and waters to drink.

Hungrily I munch on my delicious sandwich; I love the combined flavors of the tomatoes, pickles, hummus and sauce. The room is humming with the busy hustle and bustle of lunchtime but we are very much in our own world. We are absorbed in each other though, not paying any mind to people who pass around us. My right leg is hooked around Christian's comfortably and I listen intently as he shares how his day has gone so far with me. He asks about the interns I interviewed and I eagerly tell him about the two young men. I believe they will be determined workers and I am happy to be giving them the experience of working at my publishing company.

"Have you submitted the paperwork for their background checks to Roach?"

I almost roll my eyes at his question but catch myself. "Yes, I have. He said he would take care of it." I take this chance to ask him if he has learned anything about Ellen's background check yet.

He clears his throat before answering. "Welch handed it to me just before I left to come to lunch."

"Have you had a chance to read it?"

"I have."

"And?" I prompt him, he is being very tight lipped on this matter and it is making me uneasy.

Finished with his sandwich and salad he removes his napkin from his lap and folds it neatly, setting it on his empty plate before speaking. "Do you remember Susannah?"

Susannah, Susannah, I run through my memory bank but nothing serves as relevant information to clue me in on who Susannah is.

"When Leila Williams came to see you shortly after we were married…"

And there it is, it hits me like a ton of bricks, the ex-sub, and the one who so chirpily told me about the 'sub club'. What the hell? How in the world does she play into this? My stomach churns and I place the small bit of uneaten sandwich back down on my tray, unable to take another bite.

"Susi?" I barely get out the name. "Yes, I remember her."

He takes in a deep breath before continuing, choosing his next words carefully. It is obviously painful for him to recall his past with me. "Ellen Wise is her stepsister apparently. Susannah's last name was Stevens, that's why the last name Wise did not ring any bells with me; it never gave cause for alarm."

Holy cow, I wonder if Ellen knows what Susi was to Christian. Is that why she applied for an internship with Grey's Publishing? The thought makes me want to hurl and I suddenly feel very close to becoming sick. She was his submissive. Does Ellen know what they did together? She must know about his prior lifestyle. That's why she can barely contain her hormones when he's around her. She's hoping to be the next in line.

"Ana, stop it." Christian demands, taking my hand and squeezing it firmly.

"What?"

"I know what you're doing. You're overthinking things, you always do. Let me take care of this."

How will he take care of it? The other side of this matter is that perhaps Ellen knows nothing about her stepsister having been with Christian. Ellen could just be an innocent bystander in all of this. _Do you really believe that? _My subconscious asks. I know she's right, the way Ellen has behaved gives me every reason to believe that she knows much more than she is letting on.

"Will you fire her?" I ask in a low whisper, not wanting others to hear our conversation. You never know who knows who in this world.

"I haven't decided yet what my course of action will be. The only thing I am certain of is that I am pulling Sawyer from security at Grey Enterprises and reestablishing him with you."

"Ryan is there with me Christian."

"I know, but I want Sawyer at work with you as well. I won't take no for an answer on this Anastasia so you may as well not try to talk me out of it." His expression is determined.

I tighten my hold around his leg and simultaneously squeeze his hand. "You're only taking care of me Christian, I know that."

He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it firmly. "Good. Don't let this bother you baby. I promise I will handle it and this will not cause you any degree of upset at work. Are you finished eating?" He asks indicating towards my plate.

"I am, I need the restroom though."

"You go ahead baby. I'll clear the table and be waiting for you."

I unhook my leg from his and taking my purse with me head straight for the restroom. While washing my hands I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Ellen's appearance should have tipped me off. The pale skin, mousy brown hair, hazel eyes, what more did I need? A fucking flashing neon sign? She must know of her stepsister and Christian's relationship. She has the perfect look to be one on the long list. Did she think she could entice Christian perhaps and lure him away from me? I square my shoulders. I don't know what this woman thinks she is up to but she is not going to be given the chance to interfere in my private or professional life, I can promise her that.

I am quiet on the drive back to work. Christian watches me warily, continually pleading with me not to worry about anything. Constantly assuring me that he will handle the situation and I believe him. I just wish we didn't have a situation to handle at all. We are sitting at yet another stop light when I feel his hand on my knee. I sigh and lean back in my seat, still watching the world go by outside of my window, expecting him to give me another reassuring squeeze, but he doesn't. While still holding his left hand on the steering wheel his right hand begins to travel up my thigh, under my black tweed skirt, gliding effortlessly over my charcoal knit stockings.

"Christian, we are in traffic! What are you doing?" I try to bat his hand away and straighten my skirt by pulling the hem back down.

"Giving you what you need, relaxing my wife." Paying no heed to my words or attempts to remove his hand he continues his northward travels until his fingers caress the bare flesh between my stockings and panties.

"People could be watching Christian."

"Only if you give anything away baby, sit still, just feel." He coaxes. I steel myself and lean back, keeping my eyes trained on the dash in front of me.

His longer fingers sweep my black lace panties aside, petting the delicate skin they were once covering. I bite my bottom lip in reaction, stifling a moan. Unwavering in his actions his soft yet rough fingertips continue to graze across my skin before finally dipping inside and circling my clit.

"Oh," I whimper.

"That's it baby."

I scoot further down my seat, spreading my legs slightly further apart to give him better access to the most intimate part of myself. Slowly the world outside becomes a hazy distortion of figures and shapes. I feel myself becoming lost in the moment and the man sitting next to me. I feel two fingers push inside of me and he groans.

"So ready, I cannot wait to lick my fingers after you come on them." I nearly orgasm on the spot from his words. "Are you ready baby? This is going to be fast and intense."

"Yes, please." I murmur, still keeping my eyes open and fighting desperately to maintain some semblance of self-control.

With a quick flick of his fingers I am sent spiraling out of control. I hear myself calling out his name as his fingers hit my spot repeatedly in an endless pattern of merciless movements, causing me to orgasm again and again. When Christian is satisfied and I am spent he removes his fingers. Feebly I turn my head to see him. He grins wickedly before placing his two fingers in his mouth and sucking my wetness off of them.

"Delicious." He whispers.

I feel the car beginning to slow and looking around I notice we are parking in front of Grey's Publishing. Shit, shit shit, I sit up and desperately attempt to readjust my skirt. My brain is blown but I am surprisingly calm and relaxed. Just as Christian said I would be.

"I'll walk you back to your desk baby." He says before kissing my lips tenderly. I reach down to gather my purse from the floor as he exits the car to come around to my side. That was one hell of a lunch break. If I ever start that naughty journal I will definitely put that on the front page.


	41. Chapter 41

***Again, thank you all for your sweet reviews. I love reading them. A few notes though...

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*AND finally, if you don't like my story, that's cool. Don't read it. I love writing for you all but I write this story for me, I'm just happy to have you all along for the ride.

Thank you for reading! :) On with the story...

Claire grins knowingly in my direction when Christian and I pass through the lobby on our way to my office. Is it obvious that I just had multiple mind-blowing orgasms on my way back from lunch? Feeling like the evidence is written all over my face I avoid eye contact with her, afraid of blushing like a fool. Christian nods politely in greeting to her and Ellen, keeping his hand on the small of my back the entire time. How is he planning to handle the newly developing circumstances? I am still blown away by Welch's findings.

Christian closes the door behind us, engaging the lock. He's staying? I thought he was only escorting me back to my office.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" He asks approaching my desk and taking a seat in one of the two chairs which sit in front of my desk.

I give him a questioning look, unsure of what he is talking about it. Then it dawns on me, I forgot to pump yesterday and Mr. In-Control intends to confirm that I will not forget today as well. "I think I can manage pumping by myself." I smirk at him, hoping he detects the hint of sarcasm in my voice.

He sits back, obviously getting comfortable. I suppose he plans to stay for a while longer. I shake my head at him and take my breast pump and bottles out, setting everything I up I sit in my desk and begin the task of saving milk for my Ted. Christian's lips spread into a satisfied smile and I cannot help but show him my snarky attitude.

"Do I appear to be doing this right Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, Mrs. Grey. Thank you for asking."

I roll my eyes at him; he is certainly feeling spirited and roguish today. I love playful Christian though so I am not complaining.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He raises an expectant eyebrow at me.

"As a matter of a fact I did and frankly, I hope you do something about it later at home." There, two can play at this flirtatious game husband of mine.

He runs his thumb over his bottom lip, assessing me, no doubt considering my words, gauging how serious I am about the matter at…errr…hand. _Silver balls, silver balls! _My inner goddess chants, already on her hands and knees, in the ready position. His eyes are ablaze with a combination of humor, lust and passion.

Finally he speaks, leaning forward, resting both of his arms against his knees. "Oh, my dear Mrs. Grey, you can definitely count on it." He stands and crosses the short distance to me, lifting my face by placing one hand under my chin. He kisses me softly, a kiss full of promise.

"I'll return to collect you at five."

After a moment I am able to break the entrancing stare between our eyes. I button my charcoal silk blouse and slip my black tweed jacket back over my shoulders as I stand, meeting him face to face. "See you then husband of mine." He kisses me again and then turns, unlocking the door and leaving my office. Concentrating on work for the rest of the day will once again prove to be a challenge.

**Without breaking my stride** I wave goodbye to Claire on my way out the door. Duly I note the absence of Ellen at the front desk. Perhaps she had to leave early? It still strikes me as odd though, to my knowledge she has not left before Claire once since beginning her internship. I wonder if Christian has anything to do with her early absence. I see the black R8 pulling to the curb through the glass and am anxious to get back home to my baby. A later afternoon phone call to Gail to check on Ted left me missing him even more than before. His sweet baby gurgles made my heart melt, I cannot wait to hold him in my arms again. I don't wait for Christian to get out and open my door for me, instead I open it myself and slide in the passenger seat.

"Eager to get home?"

"I am," I grin, "I've missed our son."

"Me too," he returns my enthusiasm with a shining smile.

I decide to ask him about my observation on the way out the door just now, he doesn't answer right away, and instead flipping on his blinker her merges into traffic and pushes the button to turn the music on. Quiet classical music floods the car, setting a soothing mood for our drive home. I decide to sit back and not press any further, I've asked the question, now I will wait for his answer. I kick my shoes off and wriggle my toes in my stockings, being free from my heels feels good.

Cruising on I-5 north Christian finally interrupts the meditative silence by speaking. "She was given permission to take off early for the remainder of the day. She will be back tomorrow."

"Why?"

"I did not want her in the building until I was able to speak at length with Sawyer and Ryan. Welch is investigating Susannah's whereabouts and my lawyer is looking into the possibility that Susannah violated the NDA by disclosing information to her stepsister."

"Oh," is all I can manage. He has just given me a wealth of information to digest. Mr. Meticulous that he is has all bases covered; I should not have expected anything less.

"I do not want to assume anything Anastasia. Victimizing Ms. Wise is not at the top of my priority list. She could be completely innocent and unknowing in this situation. I will not accuse her of anything unless I have the facts to back up my beliefs first." I turn to watch him as he speaks, he is avid about caring for my safety as well as being fair and ensuring he approaches all angles before making any rash decisions. He runs his hand through his hair before continuing, this time changing the subject.

"Before we get home I also want to share with you my choice on the matter of Leslie Hayes Stound." I swallow hard; this is most definitely not a topic I thought we would be discussing anytime soon. He glances in my direction before shifting his eyes back on the road before us. "I want to contact her, if not for myself, then for my son and any other children we may have in the future. I owe it to Ted to learn about my biological past."

"Are you sure?" I stutter out, shocked by his declaration.

He sucks in a sharp breath before blowing it out. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay," I put my hand over his, where it rests on the gearshift. "I love you." I whisper and he looks over to me briefly.

"I love you too."

Our day has been filled with discoveries and for Christian apparently with internal growth and admissions as well. I know this decision did not come easily for him. He continues to grow and show me what a truly selfless person he is. I could not love him more.

**I place the last** few dishes in the dishwasher and use a kitchen towel to dry my hands. With Taylor still gone I gave Gail the night off early. She tried to insist on staying to clean up after dinner but I insisted she go and enjoy some time to herself. I push the start button and grab a glass of sparkling water before leaving the room to join Ted and Christian. I can hear them playing spiritedly in the great room, Ted's giggles and Christian's patient voice speaking softly to him.

"Ana! Ana! Come quick and see!"

I rush faster, picking up my steps, following the excitedly tone of Christian's words. When they come into my sight I see Ted on the floor beside in front of Christian. He has risen up on his knees and using his hands is rocking back and forth, making his first efforts at a crawling motion. His little brow is furrowed in concentration, so much like his daddy, trying hard to master the skill at hand.

"Look at him Ana; he's going to be crawling before we know it." The awe and amazement in his voice stirs a deep feeling of adoration in my heart. Never was a father so proud of his son.

"And then we'll never be able to catch him." Putting my water on one of the tables I settle on the floor near them.

"We must ensure that the entire house is completely baby proofed. I do not want one corner left unturned. Everything will be secure so that our Ted can explore his home safely." He says, turning serious.

"Christian, we baby proofed the house the day we moved in and Ted was still in my belly at the time."

"Yes, but nevertheless we can never be too cautious. I'll speak with Gail tomorrow; I want the house run over with a fine toothed comb."

I shake my head but don't argue, nothing will ever be perfect where his son is concerned. Christian mimics Ted's position by getting on his hands and knees as well, demonstrating to Ted how to crawl. I cover my mouth with my hand trying to suppress my giggles. Christian Grey top notch CEO, on his hands and knees attempting to teach his son how to crawl, in dress slacks and a white button up shirt. He looks incredibly sexy with his sleeves rolled up and the top few buttons undone at his collar, a patch of chest hair peeking through. Seeing him lose all inhibitions and engage in child's play with Ted makes me fall deeper in love with him.

My cellphone begins to ring, pulling my attention away from the adorable spectacle in front of me. Reaching for it I see that its Ray, I'm smiling when I answer the phone.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, Annie. Can you talk?"

"Sure Dad, what's up?" Christian glances up at me and smiles before returning his attention to Ted.

"I just wanted to let you know that I spoke with Lynn about your invitation and she was fine with it. So, we'll see you all the Wednesday before Thanksgiving if that's still alright with you?"

I beam, "Daddy that's wonderful. I'm looking forward to meeting her." I mentally make a note to call my mother tomorrow. I then highlight the note in my head in bright yellow, must call Carla. The last thing I want is a fallout at our first Thanksgiving dinner with Ted. Teddy begins to whimper and Christian lifts him in his arms, rubbing his back to calm him. I know he's getting tired and will probably want to nurse again soon. Grace was right when she told me he would want to nurse more when I was away from him during the day for work.

"I'm going to go bathe him." Christian mouths to me quietly before rising and carrying Ted upstairs. I smile in acknowledgement and continue my conversation with Ray. He tells me all about how he is busy making a surprise for Ted which he will be bringing with him.

"Daddy, Christmas will be just around the corner…"

"So? He'll have something for Christmas too. Gramps can make a toy for his little buddy anytime he wants to."

I grin, I love my daddy and how much he loves his grandson. We talk for a little while longer before hanging up. Ray sounds happier to me than he has in a long time. I'm sure Lynn has something to do with that and I cannot wait to meet her. I pick up my water and my cellphone and flip off the lamps in the room. Padding slowly up the stairs I make my way to where Ted and Christian are in the hall bath.


	42. Chapter 42

*Thank you all for your reviews, I love them.*

*I had a guest ask...I review as a guest, why don't you ever post my comment? Answer: I do not post your reviews, FanFic does that as a site. I have noticed that guest reviews are posted publicly at a slower pace than member reviews, but I recieve notice of them as soon as you post them. Does that make sense? In short, I have no control over how quickly reviews are posted. I can only comment to reviews made by members, not guests, but I can remove any reviews I wish to. *Note, I have never done that.*

On with the chapter!

"Squeak, squeak, do you want to hold your ducky?" Christian says bouncing Ted's yellow rubber duck bath toy up and down on our son's chubby baby belly. He is kneeling beside the bathtub while Ted sits up in his blue baby bath, chuckling loudly and squealing with delight as he reaches out to grasp the toy in his own hand. He brings it to his mouth and gnaws on the ducks bill.

"Is he a tasty duck Ted? You hold onto him and let Daddy wash your tummy." Gently he washes Ted's delicate skin then cupping his hand he collects water to pour over him, rinsing the suds away. Relishing this moment I savor the enjoyment of witnessing my husband caring for our son. He shields Ted's eyes with one his large hands as he washes his hair and then rinses it in the same fashion as he rinsed his belly. Happily content our baby continues to chew on his ducky throughout the entire process. His eyes are locked on his father's though, marveling, much like me, at his daddy's capacity to care for and nurture him.

"All clean son, are you ready to get out?" Still chewing on his toy, no doubt working his gums to bring in additional teeth, Teddy grins and jerks his limbs in response. Christian drapes buttery yellow soft cotton towel over his shoulder and carefully lifts our slippery baby from his tub. He cradles him against his body and wraps the fluffy softness around him. Still holding Ted he stands and finally turns around to see me leaning against the door frame.

"Mommy's been watching us again." He tells Teddy, rubbing him dry.

"I can't help myself."

Teddy wriggles and Christian shifts him from looking over his shoulder so that he is facing forward. He reaches for me with both arms, the ducky still locked in his mouth by the few teeth he has.

"You are so funny Ted." I laugh at the sight of him and take my clean boy in my arms. Christian's white dress shirt is a wet mess, affixing to his finely sculpted chest. I pull my eyes away from him and shift them back to his face. I cannot help but blush. "Would you like to go change your shirt Daddy while I dress our son in his pajamas?"

"Yes Mommy, thank you." He kisses me then winks at me knowingly and my stomach does a flip flop in anticipation. I follow him out the room, carrying my bundle of naked-baby-happiness in my arms.

With Ted snug and warm in his footie pajamas I take a seat in my rocking chair near the window. He yawns and brings a tiny fist to his face, rubbing his eyes. I know he's tired and it won't be long before he falls asleep. As he nurses I begin the recurrent motion of rocking back and forth, the acts of suckling and rhythmic motion lull him to sleep. His eyes are already closed by the time Christian comes in the nursery. He has not fallen completely asleep yet though I know because his tiny fingers are still kneading my breast gently.

"That was fast." He comments upon entering and seeing Ted's eyes shut tight.

"He's not fully asleep yet." I tell him. "See his fingers?" Long but tiny fingers contract against my skin before releasing. Continuously grasping and ungrasping, but never causing me any pain. I think it is comforting to him and I remember reading somewhere that it helps him get more milk.

Christian's bare feet pad softly over the wood floor coming to stop where I am sitting. He stands over me, gazing down at us before bending to kiss our son's head. Taking his seat on the rug near my feet he watches us with pleased eyes. I fiddle with one of Ted's hands pensively, running over the day's events in my mind. I have two more interviews to conduct tomorrow morning, oh yes, and the one Thursday morning with the WSU student. Watching Ted now and feeling him in my arms I am certain that I do not want to go into work on Thursday. I am more than happy to work from home but he has required so much of me yesterday and today because I have been away from him. I don't want to be away from him for an additional day this week.

"Christian…"

"Yes baby?"

"Hannah scheduled an interview with a WSU student for Thursday morning. The interview is for a position in our HR department. I was hoping tomorrow would be my last day in the office this week…"

"Ana, would you like for me to do the interview?"

I smile at him, "please?"

He lifts one of my feet into his lap and begins massaging it through my knit stocking. Running his knuckle up the bottom of my foot, giving special attention to my arch, I lean my head back and sigh. It feels so good.

"You know I will baby. Is Roach sitting in on these interviews as well?"

"Yes."

"What time is the interview?"

"Nine o'clock."

"I'll be there." He says and brings my foot up to his mouth to kiss the top of it before releasing it only to take the other foot and give it the same treatment. I let my body go lax, reveling in the feeling of his strong supple hands working the pressure out of my tired feet. Teddy grunts and releases his hold on my nipple.

"I think he's all done."

"Here, let me burp him. You go get ready for bed."

Opening the top drawer I slip one of Christian's t-shirts over my head, I love how it smells of him. I run my brush through my hair a few times then go in the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. With those tasks complete I pull back the crisp white covers and crawl in bed, settling amongst my plush pillows and blankets. The gas fireplace is lit and casts a burnt amber glow over the bedroom. I feel my eyes growing heavy and no matter how much effort I put into trying to keep them open exhaustion wins out.

The touch of Christian's warm kiss grazing my forehead causes me to stir slightly. "Good night, sleep well my sweet girl." He whispers.

"Christian, I…you wanted…" I desperately try to formulate coherent words, twisting my body to face him.

"Shhhh…baby…no. You're tired, you just sleep now. We'll have the morning." His longer fingers brush over my lips shushing me. I smile sleepily and nod, turning so that my cheek rests on my pillow once more.

A few moments later the bed dips as he climbs in. He wraps his arms around me and draws me near, my cheek resting against his bare chest. I can feel the soft tickle of his chest hair. His warmth and the steady tattoo of his heart beat soothe me to sleep.

**Muted shades of mauve** and lilac smolder in the distance over the sound as I blink my eyes open to meet the new day. I note the fact that the fireplace is still on, adding a hue of ginger to the room. My senses wake further and I can hear the clock ticking accompanied by Christian's soft breathing which I can feel as well. His arms are wrapped tightly around me, my back pressed against his chest. Carefully I stretch my legs, trying not to wake him. He is already awake though, his hand travels over my swollen breasts.

"Did you sleep well baby?" His husky voice asks.

"Hmmm…mmmm…what time is it?"

"It's almost six."

"Ted should be waking soon." I try to get up, knowing I will have to tend to him.

"No. I fed him a bottle about an hour ago when he woke up. He's fallen back asleep which means I get you all to myself for a little while Mommy." I feel his sleepy smirk on my neck as he kisses the skin behind my ear.

"Is that so Daddy?"

"Very much so, I believe we have some unfinished business to take care of from last night."

I let my hands wander behind me until I feel his erection in my grasp. A groan rumbles deep in his chest as I work my nimble fingers over him through his gray pajama pants. He continues to grow with each stroke and pushes himself against my behind. I grind back against him. _Ah_, I whimper, loving the feel of him. A Christian Grey wake-up call, this is definitely my idea of the perfect way to start the day.

He grasps the bottom hem of his t-shirt I am wearing and lifts it so that my breasts are exposed to his touch. I writhe against him as his fingers work my nipples, elongating them into ridged peaks. They are so tender and my breasts are so full that it is almost painful but so pleasurable at the same time.

"Christian!" I call out suddenly, unable to bear the brunt of his ministrations much longer. I am in need of his services and he knows it.

"While I fuck you Mrs. Grey, I will take care of you while I fuck you."

He releases my nipples long enough to slip his pajama pants off, discarding them somewhere under the covers at the foot of the bed before moving his body over mine. I lift myself slightly, allowing him to finish removing my shirt, which he casts aside to the floor. His gray eyes are smoldering. Burning hot like the flames licking in the fireplace, my skin is on fire, flaming as hot as the heat emanating from the blaze as well.

"Turn over Anastasia." His voice is ominously dark and masterful. I swallow and my eyes widen when I remember they eye rolling yesterday and how I teased him about spanking me. He nods his head authoritatively, commanding me to obey as realization dawns across my face. I roll over onto my stomach.

"Lift your ass into the air baby."

Is he going to fuck me like this? I thought he was going to take care of my…Oh! I gulp down a scream as his hand makes contact with my backside. His other hand grabs my hair and twists it tightly at the nape of my neck, holding me in place. My previous thoughts are obliterated into thin air. His hand rubs my behind gently before moving away and coming back down against my skin with a stinging slap. I groan, feeling myself becoming wet for him.

"Yes, Christian! Oh, please." I hear him breathing heavily and his fingers travel down to my sex, dipping inside and spreading the moisture up my behind which puckers at his touch. This motion is followed by another blow and then I feel his thumb circling my core while he pushes a finger inside of me, _there! _The pressure and the feeling are so intense! I feel myself beginning to quicken under his skilled touch. Sensing my impending orgasm he removes his hand from my body and smacks me once more causing me to cry out again before releasing his hold on me.

With his arms and hands guiding me roll over to lie on my back. His chest is heaving as he watches me. "How was that baby?"

"Good, amazing…I need…I need…" I pant trying to catch my breath.

"I know baby, I know."

He parts my legs and nestles himself between them, his mouth seeking my breasts, he speckles them with gentle kisses before latching onto my left nipple while simultaneously pushing his body into mine. _Ah! _I whimper and knot my fingers in his hair as I feel my milk letting down for him and my body stretching around him. He sets a placid rhythm, suckling me tenderly and stroking me with deep temperate movements. I close my eyes and allow his passion to wash over me in the same multitude of colors as the daylight that is beginning to wash over the sound.


	43. Chapter 43

A bit shorter of a chapter but I wanted to get it out, I may not be able to write much tomorrow but when I post another chapter I promise a good long one :) Leaving you all on a bit of a cliffhanger here. ;)

**"Thank you," I tell** Gail as she sets my breakfast of scrambled eggs and whole wheat toast in front of me. Ted is sitting in his highchair between Christian and I munching on mashed up banana and rice cereal. I believe he is wearing more of it than he is actually eating but he is happy either way.

"Would you like me to pack you a lunch today Mrs. Grey?" Gail asks from behind the kitchen island.

"No thank you Gail, Christian and I will be going to lunch today."

She smiles and nods before continuing with her task.

"Where would you like to go for lunch today?" Christian takes a sip of his coffee before guiding another spoonful of food to our son's waiting mouth.

"I'm not sure yet. Right now I'm full from breakfast and can't even think about what I want for lunch."

"Maybe I'll surprise you at lunch today just like I did yesterday." I blush instantly catching the suggestive tone in his voice. I know exactly what he is referring to, our little lunch time rendezvous in the front seat of the R8. Momentarily I my mind flashes back to the memory of his long fingers touching me, caressing me, causing me to…I look up from my bite of eggs with my fork suspended in midair. His eyes catch mine and he grins wickedly, he knows exactly what I'm thinking about. Sometimes I swear he's inside of my head or a mind reader at least.

My eyes dart over to Gail but she is naively washing the dishes, unaware of the sexual tension radiating between Christian and I at the breakfast table. _Perhaps she is aware but is pretending not to notice._ My subconscious rebukes and she is probably right.

We finish up and each take turns kissing Ted and telling him we love him. For the first time ever his bottom lip protrudes in a pout when we leave and little tears fill his eyes when Gail takes him from my arms. Too many consecutive days at work, I reprimand myself. I'm going to break my days up from now on, just as I have been doing up until this point. Finding the perfect balance between being Ana the professional and Ana the mommy is becoming more challenging every day. I thought leaving him would become easier with time but that is only a fairytale which does not appear to be coming true.

**Moving along at a** smooth pace getting through morning traffic is seamless, in spite of the torrential rain, and we arrive at Grey's Publishing a few minutes ahead of schedule. Christian pulls the R8 into the parking lot instead of parking on the curb. He flips off the wipers before shutting off the ignition.

"I'll go in with you baby. I'd like to speak with Roach regarding the background checks on the interns." He reaches for his door handle and I reach to gather my things from the floor.

I look around and note that only two cars are in the parking lot, Roach's and Ellen's. We're about twenty minutes early so none of the others have arrived yet. Christian holds his black umbrella up to shield us both from the cold downpour and pulls me to his side, tucking me under his arm protectively as we dart through the parking lot, coming to stand in front of the glass doors. Christian pulls on the door but it does not budge.

"Hmmm…that's funny. It's locked." He says and reaches into his pocket to fiddle for a door key.

"Roach and Ellen are here. I don't know why the door isn't open." The key turns and Christian opens the door, ushering us both in from the rain.

The first thing I notice is that the lights in the lobby are still off. Only the vague light of day, blurred by the rain illuminates the room. Something feels strange, off and I'm not quite sure what it is. Where is Ellen? Chill bumps break out across my arms and I rub my skin through the sleeves of my burgundy jacket dress, not liking the uneasy feeling settling in my stomach. My ears perk as the muffled sound of voices floats down the hall. Christian has closed the umbrella and props it on the wall beside the door before looking at me, he holds his finger to his mouth, signaling for me to be quiet.

The unmistakable sound of a female voice moaning is subdued through the walls and is then followed by a few muffled words. Holy cow, they're…I can't bring myself to think the words. _They're having sex! _My subconscious screams. Count on her to point out the obvious. Mentally I rip the book she is reading from her hands and whack her on the arm with it, shushing her and her big mouth. Christian and I both look at each other at the same time. His jaw is set in a hard line and I know he is furious. What do we do? Do we just stand here and wait for them to finish? Do we barge in on them? No. No. I do not want to barge in on them. I do not want to witness firsthand what I know is going on. Where the hell are they, the break room, the copier room? I shake my head, trying to clear it of the images which are now flying through it as quickly as sheets of paper fly in a large gust of wind. _Well, at least we know she's not after Christian. _I nod in agreement with my subconscious as she interrupts, again. This time with a welcome thought.

"Stay here Anastasia."

"Christian!" I hiss in a hushed voice. "You're not going in there are you?"

He's already in midstride, leaving the reception area when he stops and turns around. Swiftly he moves so that he is standing in front of me. "Do you expect me to let them finish?"

I cringe, I do not want to think about that. Ugh. "Well you can't walk in on them!"

Peering down at me I know he's considering my words of warning and debating as to what he should do next. He doesn't get much time to ponder though because we both jump at the sound of a door clicking open. Our attentions are now starkly focused on the hall in front of us.

Ellen emerges straightening her jade pencil skirt and the now tousled bun on her head as she goes, completely unaware of the two spectators gaping at her. When she finally does look up a yelp escapes between her flushed red lips.

"Ellen?" Roach's voice calls out from down the hall. No doubt alarmed due to her scream. She is standing stalk still, fixed to the spot she is in, her previously reddened cheeks now ghostly pale. On cue Roach exits the copier room, putting is blazer back on, until he sees Christian and I. "Mr. Grey…Mrs. Grey…" He stutters, he knows he's been caught. My eyes swing to Ellen for a second, she looks faint. I know I should say something but I can't find my tongue, I think I've swallowed it.

"Ms. Wise, you are dismissed. Take your things and leave, Roach, your office, now!" Christian commands, his foreboding tone makes me jump. Ellen quickly gathers her purse and exits the building, dashing away tears of humiliation the entire time. Without a word Roach turns and Christian follows him, hot on his heels. A rush of cool air reaches my back as the door opens behind me again.

"Mrs. Grey?" I hear Claire's voice but I'm still too much in shock to process anything. "Ana?" She calls again, this time calling me by my first name. I blink my eyes, forcing myself to snap to.

"Yes, Claire?" I answer her back, and turn around slowly to face her.

"Is everything alright? I just saw Ellen leaving, she looked upset."

You bet she's upset. Christian and I just caught her fucking her boss, I think to myself. I can't tell Claire that though. I have to play cool and act as though nothing has happened. I roll my shoulders back, straightening my stance.

"Everything is fine," I lie, "she had to go home early. Mr. Grey is here, I have a meeting to attend to. If the nine o'clock appointment shows up early would you please have them wait?"

She nods, I know not believe my lie for a second. "Yes ma'am."

"Good, thank you Claire." Bending down I pick my briefcase and purse up from where I must have dropped them in my moment of shock.

I make my way back to my office, passing Roach's door on the way. I hear Christian's raised voice, but can't make out what he is saying. I'm sure this is the end of the line for Roach and the thought saddens me. Why would he give up his job for a quickie? It just doesn't make sense to me. And why would Ellen go after him? If she knows anything about Christian I would think she would be trying to knock his boots not Roach's. The thought of anyone but me knocking boots with Christian sickens me and then the thought of Ellen and Roach…Oh God, my stomach. Get it out of your mind Anastasia. Do your work. I fire up the computer and begin answer email correspondences. All the while my eyes keep drifting to my open door, wondering when Christian will be done with Roach and what will come of Roach's job here at Grey's Publishing.


	44. Chapter 44

Another lunchtime treat perhaps? ;)

BTW I've gotten a few requests to share my site link. I just wanted to let you all know the site is down right now but will be back up this weekend. We have had an interesting few weeks, first the roof leaked, had to fix that and replace the attic fan and then our air conditioning went out Sunday and was just fixed yesterday. So we have had our servers (which run my site) shut down to keep the house from getting too hot. My husband will turn them back on this weekend.

Time passes slowly, my gaze continues to flit nervously between my computer screen and the doorway, waiting for Christian to appear. Hannah arrives and asks if I'm ready to run through my schedule for the day with her. So we sit, I half listen to her while she speaks. I'm sure it must be obvious that my mind is anywhere but where I am right now. Thankfully, she doesn't linger long and doesn't ask any questions about what is going on in Roach's office. Nine o'clock comes and goes. Claire buzzes me to say they first interview has arrived; I politely ask her for a few more minutes and then hang up the phone. At that moment I hear Christian's footsteps approaching my office. He walks in and closes the door behind him. I get a glimpse of Roach leaving, briefcase in hand, before the door is completely shut. My heart springs to my throat, _did he fire him?_

"I've placed Roach on temporary leave with pay." Christian says, coming to sit in one of the chairs facing my desk. Inwardly and outwardly I breathe a sigh of relief. It's not that I don't believe what Roach did was wrong but this revelation shows me that Christian did not completely lose it with him and kept some semblance of restraint.

"What happens next?" My hands busy themselves, fidgeting with a black ballpoint pen.

I watch him wipe his hands up and down his pants legs in exasperation. "The man is married with a family Anastasia; I don't want to fire him. His transgressions are not his family's fault and they should not have to pay for them by losing their principal source of income." The fact that Roach is married is not news to me. I've met his wife and his children, but hearing it now and knowing he cheated on his wife causes bile to rise in my throat.

"What about Ellen?"

He looks at me as if I've grown two heads. "What do mean what about Ellen? She's gone. Roach apparently began fucking her soon after the interview. He wouldn't come right out and say it but I believe his affair with her plays into the fact that there was never a background check done on her. It's sad to say but I believe Roach could have been a victim of sorts." He stops there to pause; I can see his mind working behind his brooding gray eyes.

"Do you think she asked him not to perform the background check?"

He scoffs, "I'm not sure she asked him right out but I do believe that was part of her plan. If a background check had been performed I would have seen it and she never would have been hired due to her connections with Susannah."

"Ellen knows Christian." I blurt out; tears begin welling up in my eyes. Don't cry Ana, not here. Damn it, get yourself together! "Susannah, she had to have told Ellen about your relationship with her." Just when I think the past is behind us, it rears its ugly head, making its appearance known once again.

"Hey," he whispers and rises, quickly moving to kneel in front of me. I hide my face in my hands, wishing I could hide from this whole thing. I feel Christian's hands prying mine away. He is looking up at me with concern, sorrow, regret and guilt written across his face. "She's gone Ana."

"No she's not. She's ruined Roach because he couldn't keep it in his pants and she did it all to get to you."

"Welch and my lawyer, they will take care of this. I will take care of this." He wraps me in his arms and I let him. Resting my head on his shoulder I gather my wits.

"Would you like me to sit in on the interviews with you this morning?"

I sniffle and reach for a tissue to wipe my nose, blotting my tears away as well. "No, I've got it. Hannah can sit in on them with me."

"You're sure?" He pulls me back enough to gaze into my eyes. I try for a reassuring smile.

"I'm sure." I don't feel the courage of my convictions though. The knowledge that there is yet another person out there who knows about Christian's past is insalubrious. I hope she can be stopped in time, before she has the chance to do any more damage than she has already done.

**Miraculously I am able **regain my composure well enough to conduct the two interviews. The first goes very well, the second is positive but, I do not feel the same motivation from the second perspective intern as I felt from the first. Nevertheless, I choose to submit the paperwork to perform background checks on both of the young women. If they come back clean I think I will call the second student in for another interview. She may have just been nervous, first impressions aren't everything and I believe she deserves a second chance.

It is just before lunchtime when I take a break to pump. I munch on a breakfast bar while pumping. My phone pings, it's a text from Christian.

*On my way to pick you up for lunch Mrs. Grey*

I finish my bar with a smile on my face. After the shocking morning and the interviews a lunch break with my gorgeous husband sounds like the cure-all for what ails me. Even after my snack my stomach grumbles. What do I feel like having for lunch? _Christian,_ whispers my inner goddess. I nod cunningly; she may very well have a good idea. Perhaps some retribution for yesterday's lunch break is in order.

**Christian and I each **enjoy a bowl of Italian sausage minestrone soup accompanied by a slice of crusty bread at the Pear Deli located in Pike Place Market. The hustle and bustle of the market provides a cozy atmosphere for eating and talking. In spite of the stress we dealt with early this morning Christian seems relaxed like me. I think we are both happy to be together, enjoying each other's company.

He pops a piece of bread in his mouth; his gray eyes shining as he watches me devour my entire lunch.

"What?" I question him scraping the last bite of soup from my bowl. He just grins and shakes his head. "Let me guess, you love watching me eat?"

"Yes, but that's not what I was going to say."

"Oh?"

"There's a benefit dinner Friday night. I was wondering if you would like to go."

"What's the benefit for?" I tear off a bite of bread and run it through my bowl, soaking up broth before eating it.

"To help the local food bank during the upcoming holiday season."

"I'd love to go. Is it formal?"

"Semi-formal, it will be held at Lake Union Café. Mom and Dad said they could watch Ted for us."

"Won't they be coming to the function?" I'm surprised at the idea of them not attending. Grace always attends benefit functions.

"They planned too but Taylor and Gail will be gone for the weekend."

Eating my last piece of delicious garlic bread I sip my water, an idea strikes me. "What about Elliot and Kate?" Christian stops mid chew as if he cannot believe what I have just suggested. "What? Ted loves them and Elliot does want a baby." I put an emphasis on the part about Elliot wanting a baby. Keeping Ted for an evening would be good experience for the newlyweds. Giving Elliot a taste of what taking care of a baby is really like.

"I don't know if I want my brother and Kate watching our son without any supervision."

"Christian, they will be fine and so will Ted. Just think about it. Then your Mom and Dad can come to the function."

He purses his lips at me in the most adorable way. Standing I lean across the table and kiss his pout before gathering our trash. "I'll call Kate when I get back to work and at least see if they are available."

We climb back into the R8, Christian is still fretting about the possibility of his brother and Kate keeping Ted on Friday night. I don't see what the big deal is. Kate is great with Ted and he loves her. Christian only wants what is best for our son though, he will never stop worrying. He turns the ignition and begins backing out of the parking space. While he is focusing on the task at hand I begin focusing on mine as place my hand on his rock hard thigh and begin to slowly move it up his leg. The car stops and I look up to meet his gaze.

"What are you up to Mrs. Grey?" He has one eyebrow raised in speculation.

"Payback, Mr. Grey." I answer him, my fingers stroking him through his black slacks. I can feel him growing, hardening. My body responds by clenching delectably. I want him, now. I slide his zipper down and his hand flies to cover my own.

"Anastasia, not here." His voice is husky, determined to admonish my actions even though I know he is wanting.

"Just drive and act normal Christian, like I did yesterday. No one will know." And with those words I go down. Bring my mouth to touch him; he is soft and hard all at the same time. I run my tongue along his tip, tasting him. I hear him groan and feel the fingers of his right hand move from the gear shift to brush through my hair.

"Baby…Ana…No…." He breathes but makes no attempt to move me. His hand goes back to the shift and I feel his lap move as his works the clutch and the accelerator, shifting gears. We are in lunch break traffic in down town Seattle and I am tasting Christian Grey. My inner goddess is driving a red hot convertible with the top down, wearing diamond studded cat style sunglasses. The wind is whipping through her hair as she pushes the pedal to the floor. _Faster! _She screams.

I surge forward, taking him in my mouth all the way to the back of my throat. Music and the noises on the street outside surround me but the only sounds I hear are the ones made by my husband, groaning and calling my name in desperation. I begin working him with my hand and my mouth sets a steady pace, sucking, drawing him in and out. I run my tongue up and down his length once more before drawing him, his chest rumbles with a groan.

"Fuck, Anastasia. I'm coming." He fills my mouth and I quickly swallow, his hand grips my hair firmly. My mouth tingles and I relish each drop of him. His body relaxes and licking my lips I raise up, zipping his pants and buttoning them as I do. "Christ, Ana. Someone could have seen you."

"Did they?"

"No." Both of his hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are white.

"And was it good?" I smirk knowingly.

He parks the car in front of Grey's Publishing and reaches both of his hands over, pulling my lips to his. He kisses me with abandon, driving his tongue into my mouth. Now it's my turn to groan. When he breaks the kiss I am gasping for breath. "Thank you for a memorable lunch break Mrs. Grey."

"You are more than welcome Mr. Grey. I'll see you at five." Without batting an eyelash I gather my purse and exit the car, trying desperately not to show him how shaky my legs are from the kiss and the blowjob.


	45. Chapter 45

The afternoon pales in comparison to the morning as far as action goes. The office works like a well-oiled machine, each employee handling their tasks quickly and efficiently. After putting the finishing touches on a manuscript I have been editing I decide to give Kate a call, asking about she and Elliot watching Ted on Friday night. The question is not even completely out of my mouth before she is practically jumping through the phone with excitement.

"Yes! Auntie Kate would love to babysit her adorable nephew." She's beaming, I can tell.

"And Elliot, you're sure he won't mind?"

"Mind? Not at all!"

As newlyweds Kate and Elliot are still living in the small three bedroom apartment new Pike Place Market which she and I moved into when we came to Seattle. Elliot is having a new house built for them in Kent, between Seattle and Tacoma. I wish they were moving closer to Christian and I or at least closer to Bellevue where Grace and Carrick live but this is their choice and where they will raise their family. For now I am just enjoying having her close to me for a little while longer. Before hanging up I tell her what time we will be bringing Ted and run down a list of things of his needs which I will be providing as well. I must remember to write down a schedule for her, entailing his feeding times, ounces, naptime, bedtime and so forth. I've left him with Grace and Carrick before overnight and even with Ray and Carla but they've all raised children of their own. Leaving him with a young couple who have not had a baby ties my stomach in knots. I know they will take good care of him. _Stop being such a worrywart_, my subconscious scolds me, _Ted will be just fine_. I know she's right, I just can't help but have anxiety. Perhaps this is what Christian was feeling when I suggested it at lunch.

We finally end our conversation, Kate as thrilled as ever to be keeping her nephew on Friday night. I hope Elliot is as excited as his wife is with the arrangement. I hang up and stare at my phone. There is one other call I have been meaning to make. Well, avoiding is more like it. I let out a sigh and scroll through my contacts until I come to, 'Mom.' I hit the call button and hold the phone to my ear, waiting for her to answer. She picks up on the third ring.

"Hello,"

"Hi, Mom." It's good to hear her voice, regardless of the news I have to tell her, the sound of her voice makes me smile.

"Ana, baby girl! How are you doing? How's my beautiful grandson?"

"I'm fine and he's doing well Mom. Christian was trying to teach him to crawl last night. They were on the floor, rocking back and forth, it was the cutest thing. Are you and Bob getting settled in to your new house?"

"We are. A few things were lost in the move but they've since been recovered. Now I just have to make a dent into this mountain boxes staring me in the face."

"One room at a time Mom, remember? That's how we always unpacked. Start with the kitchen first, then at least you can cook a meal."

"Oh honey, you know I'm the take out queen." I nod remembering. I was raised on take out as a child; I knew how to order dinner as soon as I was able to read a menu on my own. "So, are we still on for Thanksgiving at your house?"

I drum my nails nervously on my desk. "Ummmmm…that's actually what I was calling about."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, ummmm…well see…" I stutter over my words, just spit it out Ana. "I talked to Ray the other day."

"That's great honey, how's he doing?" She asks with genuine interest. She and Ray were never good as husband and wife but over the years they have remained civil, mainly because of me I suppose.

"He's doing great Mom. He's seeing someone, her name is Lynne." I approach the subject with caution, feeling her out before I decide if I should go further.

"That's nice. It's about time he got out of his recliner and joined the real world." Leave it to mom to throw a snub in there any time she can. I love her but sometimes…

"I'm happy for him too. He asked if he could bring her with him to Thanksgiving dinner and I told him that it would be fine." I leave out the part where Ray and Lynne will be staying with Christian and I the Wednesday before the holiday. I only want to share the information on a need-to-know basis and that she does not need to know. If it comes up then I won't lie but why add fuel to what may already be a roaring flame. The other end of the line is silent; I can hear the muffled sound of a television in the background so I know she hasn't hung up. "Mom?" I ask, trying to bring her back to the here and now.

"I'm still here Anastasia." Oh no, my full name, this cannot be good. "How do you feel about Ray having a significant other?" Nope, definitely not good.

"It's his life Mom, you moved on and remarried. Why can't Ray do the same?" My question is only stating the obvious but I know I am treading on dangerous territory. Husband number three is the one person we do not talk about, and while I'm not speaking of him directly he is still implied.

She huffs, "I never brought a man into your life that I wasn't married to." Sure Mom, you never dated them before marrying them. Yeah, okay. I roll my eyes, not believing she just said that. I'm not taking the bait though; it's not worth the fight. Instead I take a different tact.

"I'm a grown woman now Mom, a married grown woman with a child of my own. I think I can handle my Dad having a girlfriend and not being married to her. In fact, I know I can. I'm thrilled for Ray and only want him to be happy. If I as his daughter can accept the situation then what's the problem?"

She's silent again but chooses to speak first before I do. "There's no problem at all Anastasia," she begins; I'm not buying it though, "Bob and I will be arriving Thanksgiving morning. Is there anything you would like for me to bring?"

"Just yourselves," I say adding a smile to my voice even though my expression is blank. "I can't wait to see you both."

"Me too." Her voice becomes wistful for a moment but she clears her throat and rights herself back to her previous unsmiling tone. "I've got to go dear, I'll see you at Thanksgiving."

"Okay, love you, bye."

"I love you too," and with that the line goes dead. Well, that went better than I thought it would although now snarky attitude at all would have been even better. That's what you get with Carla Adams though, predicting her moods is like playing a game of roulette. I put my blackberry back down and sigh to myself before diving back into work.

Two quick raps at my door cause me to lift my eyes and glance at the clock, its five already. I stretch my arms above my head, feeling the stiffness in my body from sitting for the past few hours and working nonstop. Christian is standing at the door, a breathtaking grin adorning his face. He looks edible in his black slacks and black one button blazer; his stark white dress shirt unbuttoned just enough to show a smattering of chest hair. The first hints of stubble beginning to show on his cheeks, gosh he's gorgeous and all mine. A slow blush creeps across my face at the thought of the word 'edible' he is edible indeed and I proved that during our drive back from lunch. Unconsciously I find myself licking my lips at the memory.

"Why didn't you call me?" I answer his grin with one of my own. He walks over and plants a firm kiss on my waiting lips.

"I called your cell, you didn't answer."

I reach for my phone where I put it in my desk and remember I had put it on vibrate after my conversation with my mom. "Sorry, I put it on vibrate after I spoke with Mom this afternoon."

"How did that go?" He takes a seat on the edge of my desk, as I fiddle with my phone, turning the volume back on. I have a text message from Kate telling me she's spoken with Elliot and they are both looking forward to keeping Ted on Friday night. I tap out a quick response back to her and slip the phone in my purse.

"As well as I expected. She played her usual immature card. I love my mom so much but I often wonder which one of us is the child and which one of us is the mother in our relationship."

"Baby, don't sweat it. I'm sure everything will turn out fine." He picks my hand up and strums his thumb across my knuckles, stopping to play with my wedding band and engagement ring.

"I hope so."

"It will. Are you ready to go home and see our son?"

"More than ready," I release Christian's hand long enough to gather my things and which he takes for me before taking my hand in his again and leading me out the door. I flick the light switch on my way out and pull the door shut behind me. Today has been a long day, I think to myself and even that is an understatement. I'm eager to put it behind me for now and focus on holding my baby in my arms.

**"He's been a little** fussy today Mrs. Grey," Gail explains passing a weepy Ted into my arms. I wrap him in my arms and cuddle him to my body as I walk from the kitchen to the family room. Gail is following behind me with Ted's bottle and burp cloth. I take a seat in the overstuffed chair near the fireplace and reach for the cloth she is handing to me. A fire crackles hot, warming my feet which are chilled from the damp air outside.

"Why didn't you call me?" I would have come home if I had known Ted was upset. Who would have done the interviews though? I had to interview the two perspective interns this morning. I bounce him up and down, trying to calm him.

"Oh Mrs. Grey, please understand I would have called you if he had been inconsolable. He played, has eaten well and took and healthy nap. He's just been a bit out of sorts." I can tell she is thinking that I believe she has not taken good care of Ted and I feel awful for giving her that impression.

Holding Ted against me with one arm I reach up to take her hand and give it a squeeze. "Gail, I know you took good care of him." She smiles at me and it is reassuring. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings. She cares for my baby is if he were her own child. "I'll nurse him. Do you mind taking the bottle back?"

"Not at all, shall I bring your dinner to you on a tray?"

"Yes, please do Mrs. Taylor, bring Ana and I's both." Christian interrupts walking from the direction of his study. He went in there to finish taking a phone call from Welch the moment we got home.

"Yes sir, Mr. Grey." Gail nods and exits the room quickly to fetch our meals.

"Here baby, let me help you." Coming to sit on the large cream ottoman at my feet Christian reaches for the wriggling baby in my arms. Teddy cries out in protest, wanting to be back with me and I know he wants to nurse. "Give Mommy a minute son." He says rubbing our son's back soothingly.

When I am ready he hands him back to me and Teddy calms right away, beginning to nurse without hesitation. Using the burp cloth which is lying across my lap Christian gently covers Ted and my exposed breast.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"You're welcome, Mommy." Next he stands slightly, knees bent, and reaches for the plush cocoa colored blanket draped over the back of the chair. He fixes it so that my legs are covered from my toes to my lap. "Better?"

"How did you know I was chilled?"

"I just know baby." He finishes tucking it around me and Gail comes in holding a silver tray containing our dinner.

The tray is placed on the ottoman beside Christian; he begins feeding me the braised winter vegetable pasta containing cauliflower, butternut squash and a delicious vegetable broth and white wine sauce. Teddy snivels, his body shuddering slightly as he lets go of his earlier crying.

Once our bowls are empty Christian places them back on the tray and moves it to the coffee table so that Gail may collect it. A log shifts in the fireplace and he reaches for the iron poker to rearrange the wood before adding another log. The new log hisses and pops as the flames engulf it and I find myself mesmerized watching the blue and orange flames flickering. Dancing to their own beat, some fast, some slow.

He comes back to sit at my feet, lifting one onto his lap he pulls the blanket away from it so that he can massage it. "Ana, I'd like to ask you something. There's something I want to do but only if it is alright with you as it will affect you too."

"Go ahead Christian." I shift Ted to my other breast, he is still nursing. Although I believe he is no longer hungry he has not offered to turn his head away yet, still seeking comfort and solace in my arms.

"I would like to see Leslie again. I don't want to ask her to Thanksgiving as that will already be a difficult affair what with Ray bringing his new girlfriend and your mother's lukewarm reaction to the news. I was thinking over the holiday weekend though…" He trails off and I have to work to keep my tears at bay, so much progress.

"What made you?" I start and he interrupts.

"You were right. She was only a child, what happened had nothing to do with her. I'm not willing to punish her." He says shaking his head and casting his eyes down, focusing on the task of running his palm up my instep.

I am so proud of him that my heart is swelling and it feels like it may very well burst. I look down at my nursing baby and feel Christian lean forward, releasing my foot he bring his hand to stroke Ted's check. His little body quivers with a sigh at the familiar feel of his father's touch.

"For Ted," Christian whispers. "Leslie was an innocent child like Ted."

"All you have to do is tell me when. Leslie and her husband are both welcome here."

"I want her to meet my mother and father. To know the people who gave me a good life, loved me and cared for me when she couldn't."

"I think she would like that very much. When will you call her?"

"Tomorrow." Ted turns his head from me slightly, releasing my nipple but still resting his cheek against my breast. His sea gray eyes finally flutter open and when I tickle his chin he grins at me. "Safe in his mother's arms, where he desires to be."

"Do you want to play with Daddy, Ted?" He gurgles at me and I hand him to Christian so that I can cover myself. In moments they are on the floor, learning to crawl just as they did last night after dinner.


	46. Chapter 46

Ted is wrapped in a bundle of sunshine yellow and his daddy's arms as Christian carries him from the hall bath and into our bedroom. I have Ted's pajama's folded on our bed waiting for him when they come in and am beginning to undress for a bath of my own. After bathing our son Christian insisted that Ted wanted to cuddle in bed with daddy while mommy had her shower and daddy finished up work on his laptop. I only smiled and shook my head, they are inseparable at times and I wouldn't have it any other way. When I leave them to go into the bathroom Christian is propped up against the headboard with Ted snuggled in his lap, his eyes opening and closing drowsily. The laptop is in front of Ted and Christian's long fingers are typing away, no doubt responding to some email correspondence.

The hot shower is luxurious and warms my chilled bones. I allow myself to the indulgence of any extra-long bath. Reveling in the sensation and washing each inch of my body thoroughly. I decide to shave as well, smooth as silk-everywhere. When I am satisfied with my work I step out and dry off before dressing in my rose pink silk lounge pants and matching tank. The feeling of my skin against the silken fabric is decadent. I comb my hair and flip my hair dryer on, brushing my locks out until they curl softly at the ends. My hair has grown quite long. Perhaps I should cut it, not much, just a bit and redefine my layers as well. It falls in soft waves below my breasts as I run the brush through it one last time. I reach for my moisturizer and dip my fingers in, spreading it evenly across my face before brushing my teeth. There, ready for bed.

When I open the bathroom door the bedroom is dark with the exception of the light from the fireplace. I can see the laptop lying on my side of the bed, closed. Christian is no longer sitting up. Instead his head is his pillow. He is on his side facing Ted who is sound asleep, cradled in his father's arms. They both breathe in an even rhythm. Their beautiful lips parted slightly to accommodate their breaths. Careful not to wake them I pad across the room and slip into bed, positioning my body much like Christian's I cradle our son protectively between us. I place my hand on top of Christian's which is resting on top of Ted's belly before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.

**Freshly shaven skin brushes** against my cheek, I inhale deeply taking in the fragrance that is Christian Grey. Body wash, fresh linen and soap, he is hovering over me and I blink my eyes open to see him dressed in his gray flannel pants and white shirt. His lips kiss my eyelids, the tip of my nose and then my lips.

"Good morning my beautiful wife," his voice is a hushed whisper, not waking the sleeping baby still curled up in my arms. "I'm leaving for work now. I will call you after the interview this morning, okay baby?" He brushes my hair away from my face and kisses my forehead.

"Okay. We'll miss you."

"I'll be home before you know it." He kisses me once more before leaning over to press his lips to the top of Teddy's head. "So beautiful," he whispers again and then he is gone. The sound of his shoes echo down the hall, becoming fainter with each step he takes. I curl my body back around my baby's and allow myself to steal a few more moments of slumber before he wakes me.

Finishing breakfast I notice Gail busily jotting down a shopping list. She is checking the cupboards and refridgerator as she does, writing down what she needs. Every now and then she references her menu planner, insuring she has all the right ingredients for the meals she has planned to cook.

"I can go to the store for you Gail," I offer giving Ted a bite of his pureed banana with rice cereal.

"Nonsense Ana, you stay at home with Ted. I'll go."

"I can take him with me. I'd really like to go. Just give me your list so I make sure to pick up everything you require." The weather is beautiful for an autumn day and I itch to get out and enjoy it. Perhaps I can call Mia to meet us for lunch when we are in town. I may be able to get that haircut I was thinking about last night as well.

"You're sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all, we'd love to go to the store, wouldn't we Ted?" Teddy jabbers and slams his hand down in his bowl before lifting it and sucking his breakfast off of his fingers where it is now spread.

Gail laughs at his antics. "Well, I certainly cannot argue with a little boy who most obviously wants to go grocery shopping."

"Good," I smile at her and stand taking Ted and I's dishes to the sink. "Bath first then we get dressed young man for our day out." I lift my sticky banana baby from his highchair and quickly take him upstairs.

Ryan is waiting in the foyer for Ted and I with the Saab idling outside.

"Are you ready to go ma'am?" He reaches for the bags I have in my hands and I pass them to him.

"Yes Ryan, thank you."

I wish I didn't have to travel with security again. This entire affair echoes with monotony. The repetitiousness between the past situation with Leila and what we are now dealing with is not something I wish to recite. Ryan is a good man and takes his job seriously making me feel that Ted and I are safe and secure when we are with him. Having him with us offers Christian a piece of mind and if I choose not to lie to myself it makes me feel better as well. When I only had me to worry about taking risks and being careless was a part of everyday life, since Ted's birth though…well, it just put things into perspective and like Christian I would do anything to ensure his safety.

I ask Ryan to wait in the car while Ted and I shop. He's hesitant at first and I know he wants to tail me in the supermarket, while he only has the best of intentions and wants to follow Christian's instructions to a 't' I persuade him to wait in the car for us.

With Gail's list in my hand and my baby securely attached against me in my wrap I set about the task of filling our cart with what we need. Teddy's eyes are as big as saucers, watching everything happen around him with a keen eye. As I select different types of produce he reaches out to grasp whatever is in my hand. The bright colors and diverse textures captivate his attention as much as he enchants the older ladies who cannot help to _'oooo'_ and _'awww' _over him. I watch him turn on his charming baby grin and sparkling gray eyes when spoken too, my little charmer, so much like his daddy.

We check out and return back to the car where Ryan loads the groceries for me. Buckling my seatbelt I hear my phone ping, indicating a new email, it's from Hannah. I scroll through the words, trying to piece together the meaning of what I am reading. It's not that the words are not put in layman's terms it's the fact that I simply cannot believe what I am reading.

"Is everything alright Mrs. Grey?" Ryan asks peering at me through the rearview mirror, the anxiety ridden expression I'm wearing must be overly obvious.

"I'm not sure," I tell him truthfully. My phone begins to ring, it's Hannah, I send her call to voice mail and I immediately dial Christian's number. He picks up on the first ring.

"Ana, baby…" He almost croons the words and if I wasn't so uneasy it would have my stomach doing somersaults. It already is though, just not the good kind. I feel guilty for not taking Hannah's call, but I need to talk to Christian.

"Christian, I just received an email from Hannah. Ellen is filing some sort of paperwork indicating that she was wrongfully terminated." I want to read the email again, attempt to make more sense of it, but I can't, not while I'm on the phone. I hear him grumble something under his breath before barking out Andrea's name, then the words become muffled as if he's covered the phone with his hand.

He comes back on a moment later, "Baby, where are you?"

"I'm in the car with Ryan. Teddy and I just finished grocery shopping for Gail." My fingers lace with Ted's tiny ones, he's watching me, smiling.

"You're in Seattle then?"

"Yes."

"Anastasia, tell Ryan to take you and Ted straight home."

"I was hoping to have lunch with Mia." I say, hoping to add some levity but even I feel nervous.

"Please do as I'm asking baby. Forward the email from Hannah to me. I'm handling this right now. Call me when you two are safe at home." His voice is not forceful instead it is laced with concern. So different from how he spoke to me before when it was just the two of us. I concede without any argument. Deep down I just want to get home too. We end our call and I forward the email before speaking to Ryan and asking him to take us home just as Christian asked.

"Yes, ma'am." He nods and starts the engine, turning the car down Wilson Avenue in the direction of home.

During the car ride I choose to give my son my undivided attention. There's no need to reread the email, Christian is aware of it and is taking care of it. I don't want to exhaust my concentrations with the matter. Ryan turns the music on and a floating full symphony piece pervades the vehicle. The day outside my window is so beautiful. Majestic reds and yellows blur past me as we speed back up I-5 North. I lean my head back and hold Ted's hand in mine, allowing the music to relax the stress from my body.

**The bassinet in my **study is filled with a baby, sleeping peacefully, allowing me to sit down and read through my emails. I have not heard from Christian since our brief phone call this morning and I can't help letting my curiosity get the better of me. The little white arrow darts across my screen and I double click on the icon linked to my work email. I scroll through the new messages, my eyes searching for anything that might give me new information, but there is nothing. Only a few unread emails about manuscripts can be found. I decide to click on them one at a time and read through them, hoping it will keep my mind off of Ellen Wise.

My eyes grow tired and just as I am about to close out the program a new email pops up. Teddy yawns at the same exact second causing me to jump. The email is from her. My mouth is dry and I try to swallow but there's no moisture in my mouth. I don't think for a moment before clicking the message open.

From: Ellen Wise

Subject:

To: Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey,

I'm sure you have learned about the paperwork I have filed. I would like my job back. However, if you choose not to oblige my request I intend to file for unemployment. By the way, I know about your husband's past lifestyle. I'm sure you don't need for me to spell out what I know for you.

No subject, that's it. She's threatening me and trying to blackmail Christian. I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling, pinching the bridge of my nose with two fingers, I could just scream. I want to scream so bad or throw something. I am beyond angry and feel the last small ounce of control seeping from my veins. Gathering my wits I choose not to respond; instead I forward the email to Christian. This woman knows everything. Was the she hopeful to engage in his past lifestyle with him when she began working at Grey's Publishing? Perhaps she thought it would put her in a favorable position. My stomach churns and I swallow back the urge to throw up. As much as I want to delete the email and never think about it again I don't. I quickly file it away, saving it. She's just made a huge mistake by writing this to me, crossing Christian Grey is not something I suggest doing.

As predicted the phone on my desk rings minutes after the send button on my email was clicked. The mood of the frantic man on the other end of the line is almost evident by the ring alone. I reach for it quickly to answer before the sound wakes Ted. Christian does not allow me the chance to say anything before he begins speaking.

He begins asking me repeatedly if I responding to her email. I shake my head 'no' while he continues to quiz me, spouting off words, never giving me a chance to get a word in. Finally between breathes I whisper, "No," in a hushed voice. I walk away from the bassinet, coming to stand by the window.

"You didn't?" He breathes.

"No, Christian. I forwarded the email straight to you."

"Baby, you're crying."

"I'm fine. I'm just shaken is all." His earlier tirade has ceased, his voice now laden with concern. "What are we going to do?" I ask the obvious question. Where do we go from here? This woman knows everything and she intends to use her knowledge to the best of her ability to get whatever she wants. Why can't she just find another company to work for? Why did she have to come in our lives and disrupt the beautiful haven we have built together?

"Anastasia, the fact that she knows about my past lifestyle means Susannah has violated her NDA and I fully intend to take action against her. Richardson, my lawyer, is handling this as we speak. As for Ms. Wise, she was found having sexual relations with one of her superiors on work premises."

"What if Roach denies it though?" I blurt out, interrupting him.

"He won't, he wants to keep his job, believe me." I breathe out a small sigh of relief, small but a sigh of relief nonetheless. I place my hand over my chest, feeling my breathing return to normal from his previously erratic, anxiety driven pace.

"Christian, will you come home soon?" My request sounds needy and whiny, two things I endeavor never to be. I am a strong young woman but I cannot deny the sudden urge to hold and be held by my husband.

His voice wraps around me like a warm blanket, "soon baby. I will be home as soon as I can."

I tell him I love him then pull the phone away from my ear and end the call. I wrap my arms around myself attempting to warm myself from the chill only to fail. The sun has warmed the air outside over the sound, the chill is inside of my body and only the sensation of being enveloped in Christian's arms will drive it away. Making me feel safe and secure.


	47. Chapter 47

_I know it's been a week since the last chapter, sorry girls. I was busy reading Losing Hope and Pulse and they both had me completely engaged. I could not put them down. I've been writing here and there and finally have enough done to post a chapter. I was also out of town last weekend celebrating my birthday with a few of my girlfriends. ;) _

_I've had several of you email me asking for my site link. I'm not ignoring you I promise. The site is down because I have not turned the server back on yet. Life has just been...well, hectic. I will email you all though, I promise. _

_Ok...on with the chapter and hopefully what you all will think is a hot lemon as I've had a few requests for some 'mommy/daddy' time lately._

**Night falls, the sky **outside darkening much like the light in my heart. Trying to keep my spirits up has been a hard task to maintain. Christian is late. Much later than I expected him to be and there has been no word from him. Gail tries to brighten my spirits by chatting lively with me about Teddy's antics. I know she can see the worry in my eyes but has no clue as to why it is there. I love her for trying. Until the sound of Christian's footsteps entering the front door meets my ears reprieve will not find me.

I pick at my dinner, not feeling hungry at all. Ted jabbers beside me, happily smooshing food between his fingers before bringing them to his mouth, while Gail busies herself behind the kitchen counter. I am anything but alone in this room but I feel desolate, abandoned by my self-assured feelings of security. What a fool I was to think Christian's past was through haunting us. When you've had relations with as many as women as Christian has, especially relationships of such a nature, they are bound to come back to haunt you. Stupid fool I was to believe they wouldn't show back up on our doorstep sooner or later. For the first time in a long time my stomach churns remembering the nature of those relationships. _Don't go there; do not let your mind drift in that hideous direction. It's a deep, dark hole of dismal abyss which you will not dig yourself out of if you choose to let your thoughts take that course._ I do my best to talk myself out of my inner deliberations, fully aware of the extent of damage they can and will do to me.

"Mrs. Grey? Mrs. Grey?" Gail's voice calls to me, it sounds distant. I know she's in the room with me; it is my mind which is distant.

"Yes?" I look up from the plate of pasta I am twirling my fork through mindlessly.

"Mrs. Grey, I believe Ted is finished. Would you like me to clean him up and give him his evening bottle?"

I turn my attention to the joyous baby boy sitting beside me, giving me his sweetest most messy grin. "I've got him Gail."

"You didn't eat a bite of dinner." She notes taking my still full plate from in front of me.

"I'm just not hungry tonight Gail, I'm sorry."

"Is everything alright?" She asks concerned. Tears threaten at her question.

"I'm just tired I guess." I lift Ted from his highchair and prop him on my hip. She's watching me closely. I know she doesn't believe a word I'm saying. I've got to get out of the room though or the tears will come. Without another word I take Ted and begin the climb up the stairs to bathe him. As I place my left food on the third step up the tears finally begin to fall freely down my face, streaming down my cheeks. Where is Christian? Why hasn't he called? On that thought the front door finally opens. I hear Gail's voice and then his. He's asking where I am. I turn and run. With my untidy, food covered baby clutched tightly against me I run as fast as my feet will carry us both. My eyes lock on Christian and he turns in time to catch us, enfolding us both in his arms. I'm sure Gail leaves us to our privacy but I don't notice when she does. My face is buried against Christian's chest, no doubt my tears and Ted's remnants of supper are soiling his suit, but I don't care at the moment. All I care about is that he is here, he is home and he is holding us.

"There, there, sweet girl." He croons against the top of my head, squeezing me tighter and kissing my hair. Teddy squeals his resentment at being squished between the two of us. Sniffling I pull away slightly to give him more room. My body shudders and I feel a chill run through me as I let go of the emotions which have been bottled up inside of me all day. Christian cups my cheeks in both of his hands and draws my face up; he searches my eyes with his before speaking. "I'm here baby." He kisses my lips tenderly.

"You were so late and you didn't call." I shudder the words out between sniffles as my crying slowly ceases.

"I forgot my cell at work. It was a hectic day. I'm so sorry I worried you. I tried all afternoon and evening to leave so I could be home with you and Ted, but things wouldn't let up. My day was riddled with one problem after another." I nod my head and press my cheek back against his chest, feeling his warmth and hearing the reassuring rhythm of his heartbeat against my ear. "I'm here now baby, hush…hush…my sweet Ana."

He holds me for a few more minutes until I finally feel my body and emotions beginning to calm. When he releases me he offers to have his dinner brought up to our room so he can sit with me while I feed Ted. My little dirty baby still needs a good bath before his evening nursing.

"Mrs. Taylor?" He calls to Gail and she appears at the kitchen doorway. "Will you please place my dinner on a tray? I'll be taking it upstairs."

She nods, "Would you like Mrs. Grey's dinner on the tray as well Mr. Grey?"

He shifts his eyes in my direction. "You didn't eat?"

"No," I admit in a whisper. "I was too upset, my stomach was in knots. I couldn't take a bite."

"Yes, Mrs. Taylor, thank you. Mrs. Grey will have her meal upstairs as well."

"Very good, sir." She answers before going back in the kitchen to prepare the tray.

"Ana, you must eat. You know this."

Feeling like an irresponsible, errant child I nod in agreement. I know very well I must eat, if not for myself, then for Ted. My thinking was far from clear earlier and I was being selfish by not taking care of myself.

Gail approaches us with the full tray in tow. "Thank you, Mrs. Taylor." Christian tells her taking the tray from her hands. "Time to ensure you are both fed." He remarks in my direction, with one eyebrow propped in annoyance. I follow him up the stairs, feeling my appetite make a return.

**Fed and bathed, Ted** and I are both curled up, snug under the covers and ready for bed. He is still suckling lazily at my breast, drifting off to sleep in his most favorite way. _Hmmmmmm…like father, like son._ I stifle a snicker at the irony of the situation. Closing the book he is reading I feel Christian's eyes watching us. I look up from where I have been gazing at Ted and lock eyes with him. He's propped up against the head of our bed, looking scrumptious in only his navy pajama pants.

"What are you thinking?" He purrs, placing his book on the bedside table. His mischievous eyes still fastened to mine.

"How alike the two of you are." I give him a sly Cheshire cat grin.

"Alike? How?"

My toes curl as delicious warmth laden with prickly tingles washes through my body. I love his playful mood and I welcome it. We still haven't talked about the day's occurrences or the cause of his tardiness this evening. The fact that my appetite returned upon Christian's arrival home ensured that I ate a hearty dinner, leaving little time for conversation. Enjoying the here and now I choose to push the unpleasant matters aside.

"You both enjoy falling asleep the same way." I blush casting my eyes downward.

I feel him scoot down, sinking to lie beside me. His minty breath caresses the side of my face. "You mean nursing your breasts?" He breathes against my ear as he speaks.

I shudder in response, "yes."

Using his tongue he traces the outline of my ear, coming to a stop when he reaches my earlobe. He draws it in his mouth, sucking on it and eliciting a whimper from between my lips. "Is he asleep yet?"

"Yes."

"Good." He kisses my ear then moves so that he can take our sleeping baby from my arms. Teddy complains by grunting softly when he is detached from my nipple and removed from my arms. He remains asleep though and instantly cuddles to his father's chest. Christian carries him out the door and down the hall to tuck him in for the night.

Hastily I strip off my camisole and sweat pants. Discarding them to the floor I slide between the sheets and wait. The cotton sheets feel soft against my bare skin, smooth from my earlier shower and shave. I wiggle my legs enjoying the sensation. I turn on my side to keep a watchful eye on the doorway, waiting for Christian to return, when he does he wastes no time slipping his own pajama pants from his body before striding over to join me in our bed. As always I take the opportunity to absorb the sight of him. I drink him in, running my eyes over his frame from head to toe. It's as if he is a tall glass of water and only he can quench my thirst on a hot summer day.

"Enjoying the view?" He asks knowingly.

"I always do." I smirk at him and raise an eyebrow. I'm getting quite good at mimicking his many signature expressions, always so animated in his countenances, my husband.

He pulls the sheet and down comforter back and slides in, his naked skin touching mine, warming me. "Well, now you can feel me Mrs. Grey, instead of just seeing me."

"Mmmmm…I love feeling you." I prop myself up on one elbow and run my hands from the top of his pectoral muscles, grazing his taunt beaded nipples with my fingers before moving down to his sculpted abdomen. He watches me with hooded eyes. They seem to flicker like two hot smoking coals, reflecting the tawny glow flooding the room from the fireplace. I allow my hands to repeat their journey, first south, then north several more times before moving down a little lower. Observing his reaction I wrap my hands around him, encasing his hard length with them.

He groans deep in his throat. "Fuck baby, that feels good." His body shudders.

"This?" I ask softly with a coy tone in my voice. "Why does it feel so good? I'm only touching you with my hands."

"Because it's you Ana, my wife touching me…so tenderly…Christ baby." He moans again and even though I know he wants to close his eyes to absorb the pure euphoria he is feeling he doesn't. He keeps them open and trained on me. With my hands I stroke him, up and down, working him just as he showed me the first time, in our bath at Escala. He rises up just enough so that his lips meet mine. Kissing me tenderly he melds my lips to his. He knots one hand in my hair at the back of my hand and pulls me closer.

Still stroking him with one hand I use the other to push him down on the bed so that he is lying flat again. It breaks our kiss, leaving us both panting and wanting more. Releasing my hold on him I reach for his hands to steady myself, preparing to push him inside of my body.

"Feel Ana," he says and shows me to keep my hands where they were. Placing his hands over mine he returns them to their prior ministrations. With him now guiding me we are stroking his erection in unison. Fuck, this is so hot. My mouth is hanging open, slack from sheer ecstasy. "Now baby, slide your wetness over me. Use your fingers to feel how you stretch, allowing me to fit perfectly inside of you. Supple and pliant…your body fits mine like a hand fits a glove…You were made for me Anastasia Rose Grey…Do you feel it Ana? Can you see in your mind's eye the vision of our two bodies converting in to one?"

His breathing is deep and steady, his voice never wavering, only growing deeper and sexier by the minute. I am descending over him, slipping slowly, and absorbing the feeling between my legs and the words meeting my ears. Each inch of him helps to diminish the burning ache in my core, an ache for him. Keeping a slow pace my deft fingers mingle with his in a lissome dance, a dance which is both graceful and erotic at the same time.

"I…I feel it Christian…I can see myself taking you." I answer stuttering. I'm sure my blue eyes burn like hot flames in answer to his sizzling gray coals.

Our hands are coated in the wetness being released from both of our bodies.

"Take all of me now, baby."

Finishing my journey I move down until there is no longer room for our hands between us, we are complete now. A circle of man and wife, no ending between us, I throw my head back and cry out a disjointed murmur. He releases my hands and brings his up, slowly skimming them up my sides until he is palming my breasts.

"Lean down Ana, but keep me deep inside of you." I do as told and watch as he cups one of my breasts in both of us his hands. Holding my seamless round sphere he brings his mouth up ever so slightly to meet my nipple. "Don't move. Just feel." He whispers against my nipple, his eyes watching mine. I nod indicating my compliance and watch as he lavishes the hard peak with his tongue before taking it wholly in to his mouth. Sucking gently he kneads my breast while moving his other hand to mirror his motions. Giving both breasts his attention.

Not moving is maddening. My body is craving to move, needing the carnal rhythmic motions. With my hands on resting on either side of his head I steady myself though and doing as he told me to, I just feel. I feel my milk letting down for him. He suckles and swallows in a pulsing pattern and I am beginning to feel that same recurrent cadence deep in my belly. The apex of our union is saturated with moisture, awash with our passion for each other.

"Christian…please…I…think I'm going to…Christian…I'm coming." I hear myself talking but feel as if I'm in another world entirely. Engulfed in some alternate universe, commanded by Christian Grey and I'm helpless, unable to return to earth, but I don't want to return. I want to take this journey with him, let him take my body where he wills it to go.

Briefly I feel him release my right nipple only to move on to my left. My body calms for a moment but begins the delicious build again, this time building at a much faster pace.

"Christian!" I scream out his name once and my stilled body tightens around his erection, convulsing…releasing…quivering. My eyes trained on his I come again and again while he drains my body. Suddenly he releases my nipple and my breasts; cupping my face in both of his hands he kisses me deeply. He breaks the kiss and in a swift movement he wraps his arms around me and before I know it my back is against the bed and he is hovering over me, still buried inside of me.

"Hard and fast Mrs. Grey." He grunts and begins moving at a determined speed. He is fucking me and I let him. I want to scream but I can't, my breaths are coming in gasps and gulps. Skin slapping against skin he drives into me hard before stilling.

"Ana!" He shouts my name and I feel his hotness spread through my body. I echo his scream, calling out his name as one last orgasm rips through me. I am shattered and whole all at once.


	48. Chapter 48

_I'm so glad you all enjoyed the last lemon! :) Thank you ALL for your reviews. _

Lazily my fingertips draw circles on Christian's chest. We are both lying replete in each other's arms, our mingled breaths returning to normal. Echoing my outlines his fingers strum lightly over my bare back. I let out a sigh, content and satiated by the man I love. The dark stillness of night envelopes us both, it lulls me into my inner thoughts, thoughts from earlier which make an uninvited reappearance.

"Where were you when you were late coming home?" I ask, watching my fingers intently. Do I want to know the answer? Yes, my mind is going wild with assumptions and I don't like it one bit.

"At Grey's Publishing," he answers without hesitation.

"Why?"

"Ms. Wise showed up there this evening just as Claire was locking up for the night. She made a scene."

My stomach drops to the floor. "How so?"

"She was demanding her personal belongings and waving around papers, claiming to be filing sexual harassment against Roach."

"Claire knows what happened then?"

"Yes, although she does not know the depth of the situation she is now aware of the relationship between Roach and Ms. Wise. There were several other employees in the building who heard the commotion." His chest moves up and down as he takes a deep breath. I look up to see him run his free hand through his hair. "What happened this evening makes it extremely difficult to keep Roach on board at GP, Anastasia. Too many people know now…I'm afraid we have to let him go."

"Christian I…." I begin and sit straight up to stare into his eyes. Roach has been good to me, despite a few differences over time; we have had a good working relationship. I can't help but think about his family too. This will devastate them.

Christian holds his hand up to stop me midsentence. "I don't want to do it Ana, believe me. I've given this a great deal of thought though and Roach made his choices. Whether he was coerced into making them he still was of his own mind and chose to have an affair with an intern. I will most definitely protect his professional reputation by not exposing the nature of the act which led to his dismissal but we can no longer sweep this under the rug and pretend that it did not happen. It did and the sooner we eliminate all guilty parties the soon we have a chance of squelching of wildfire we may not be able to handle."

I swallow hard and lay back down, nuzzling against his chest. He's right. Roach did make his own choices. He chose not to perform the background check, most likely at Ellen's request and most likely because he was attracted to her and wanted to please her. The thought leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but it appears that Roach put fleshly pleasures before his business career, his own careless mistake.

Christian places a hand under my chin, tilting it upwards, his eyes searching mine. "I do not relish doing this Ana, please believe me."

"I believe you. Does Roach know?"

"He was there this evening. I asked him to be in tomorrow at nine. Andrea has drawn up the necessary paperwork for dismissal. I think he knows it's coming. I need you to be there tomorrow baby, as CEO of GP."

"Okay…" I swallow hard a second time. I've never been fired from a job myself much less fired anyone else. Sleep will not come easy for me tonight, this I know. Disengaging my chin from his grasp I lay my head back down on his chest.

"Baby, it's not your fault."

"I know…" My words trail not sounding convincing. "What about Ellen? Did she leave?"

"Security stood by for her to gather her belongings before escorting her from the premises. I have given them strict orders never to allow her on GP or GEH grounds again. Sawyer and Roth are taking care of it and I have the utmost confidence in their abilities."

"What about Susannah?" He raises his head and I glance up at him, he is looking at me as if I've grown another head, or arm, or any other appendage. I am aware of the fact that he would rather not talk about his past submissive but this I need to know.

"What about her?"

"The violation of the NDA, Christian, has anything come of it?"

"My lawyer has obtained a signed affidavit from her stating that she in no way violated the NDA. She claims she never shared any information about me or the nature of our….relationship…with Ellen or anyone else."

"Do you believe her?"

"I'm not sure. The affidavit is legally binding however."

"So that's it?" It seems so simple, sign and affidavit claiming your innocence and boom! It's all over.

"For now, but not forever. I intend to find out how Ms. Wise came to possess the knowledge she has. I'm sure Ms. Susannah Stevens plays in a role in it, I'm just not sure how yet."

And that's all of it in one neat little nutshell. Ellen made a scene this evening which caused Christian to be late. Due to the nature of this scene and what other employees heard I have to be present at work tomorrow for Roach's dismissal for GP and for now Susannah is off the hook because she signed an affidavit. Where does this leave Ellen? Surely Christian does not believe she will keep his secret for her out of the kindness of her heart? If I'm not that naïve then I know he isn't either.

"What are we going to do when Ellen broadcasts your past to the world?" A hint of sarcasm drips from each word. I am becoming increasingly weary and frustrated from the entire situation.

Christian places a hand over mine, stilling the drawing of my fingertips over his skin. "Look at me," he demands softly.

I shake my head telling him 'no' and try to fight the infuriating tears which threaten to flow. I cannot look at him. I'm trying to make sense of it all, accept things and be strong but the weariness is wearing on me. We just made love, connected a beautiful, deep, elemental level. That glow is fading to a mixture of emotions burdened with anxiety. The first few tears fall, dripping down the tip of my nose and spilling onto his warm skin.

"Baby, Ana, please…don't cry. I'm taking care of things, please trust me."

"It's not you Christian. It's her. It's her I don't trust." I gasp between sobs. He pulls me up, sliding me against his body until we are face to face, his hands grasping my arms firmly, holding me in place.

"She was made to sign an NDA this evening before she was allowed to gather her things and process out, turning in her badge and such."

I scoff at him through my tears. "If an NDA didn't stop Susannah then what makes you think it will stop her stepsister?"

"I will not assume anything Anastasia. Susannah may be telling the truth, she's never given me a reason to doubt her before."

"All of those women…they all know so much…they knew you intimately and saw a dark side of you. It doesn't exist now but it did then and it could ruin you Christian!" I feel myself becoming hysterical, I need a minute to collect myself and gather my thoughts. I'm on a fast moving train and it is out of control. If I don't get off soon it's going to end in a massive collision and the casualty will be us.

"Listen to me!" He demands and I can't. I struggle to free myself from his hold, trying to scramble from the bed. Images of his past are flashing through my mind. He's panicking, but then so am I.

"You were with them all Christian…please just let me go…I…I need a moment."

Refusing my request he sits up in the bed pulling me in his lap. His arms encase me, never letting me go. I fight for a second before melting into his embrace, my body shuddering. I cling to him as if he were my life, he is my life. Without him I am nothing and I know it is the same for him.

"Ana, I thought…we are past all of this Ana. Please do not allow my past to afflict your mind now. It's just you and me now my beautiful wife. We share everything Ana, our lives, our home, our love and our son created from it. Please baby…don't run from me. Breathe sweet girl…just breathe."

I take several deep strangled breaths, finding my composure, seeking solace in his arms. When he senses my calmer demeanor he slackens his hold on me a bit and begins stroking my hair with his long fingers.

"Together Ana, we will get through this together."

"Just like we always do." I breathe out.

"Yes baby, just like we always do." Still holding me he begins to rock back and forth, hushing my crying with his soothing motions and caresses.

"Christian…I need you." I say look up into his eyes.

"I need you too baby, so much."

We lie back down on our sides, facing each other. Gazing into my eyes he lifts right leg, wrapping it around his waist before placing his hand against my cheek. He presses his lips tenderly to mine, drawing my bottom lip between his teeth, nipping it gently. He brings his left leg up and hooks it around my waist the way mine is hooked around his and slowly he pushes into me. I close my eyes to absorb the feeling of our intimate connection. His forehead is resting against mine and he begins to move. There are no words between us; they are no longer warranted or necessary. In this moment we only need touch and to allow our bodies to speak for themselves. My heart is still heavy but with each thrust and moan the depth of our commitment to one another is reaffirmed. Never will a man or a woman come between us. He was created solely for me and I for him.


	49. Chapter 49

_Thank you all for your beautiful reviews and words of encouragment over the past two chapters. Your reviews often leave me speechless. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story!_

** Surprisingly sleep came easily** last night. I blink my eyes to greet the new morning and stretch my well rested body. The restless night of sleeplessness I had anticipated never surfaced. My mind was able to rest, no doubt due to the discussions Christian and I had. They were anything but pleasant but they were necessary. I feel a relative calm until I realize what the morning holds, Roach's dismissal from Grey's Publishing. The thought causes my stomach to lurch. I swallow pushing down the bile rising in my throat and reach for Christian but find his side of the bed is empty.

Orienting myself with the new day and things to come I slip out of bed and decide on a quick shower before going in search of him. The baby monitor on my bedside table is quiet and turned off, telling me he has Ted and is taking care of our son's needs. Thankful for that I pad to the bathroom and turn on the shower. Stepping in to the warm torrent I wash myself and shave quickly. I'm not even sure of the time, but it must not be too late because Christian did not wake me.

I dress in a full length, long sleeved, navy sweater dress and secure a matching navy belt around my waist. The belt is accented with small, simple white flowers and leaves. After pulling my long hair back into a sleek ponytail and securing it with a tie I step into and zip up my black boots. With a long, simple, silver chain I look at myself in the mirror. Do I look like the CEO of a company who is about to fire her right hand man? The thought is unsavory and dampens my already precarious mood. The sooner I leave the sooner I can return home to my baby and put this awful event behind me. Grabbing my purse off the dresser I go in search of Christian, hoping he is ready to leave as well.

**Our car ride is **quietly meditative. Christian keeps his hand on my knee for most of the trip, giving me a reassuring squeeze ever so often. He's acting so cool and collected but I know him. He's as torn up about firing Roach as I am. He can't fool me, he may be able to fool everyone else but I am not one of those people. I've seen his heart and inside I know this is tearing him apart.

I place my hand on top of his and return his squeeze, letting him know that I am here for him just as he is here for me. We zip through traffic with Taylor at the wheel, cars, trees and interstate signs blur in a rapid motion. Reminding me of how everything has unfolded, in a blur. One moment Ellen Wise was a promising new intern in our HR department and the next moment she was a calculating woman having an affair with her boss to gain favors and access to Christian. I am still not convinced there is an ounce of finality where she is concerned. I can hope but even that I don't dare to do.

**Roach arrives on time **to the conference room. Christian and I are seated beside each other. Following his lead I stand when Roach enters the room. Surprisingly he offers his hand to Christian and I both. I shake it and offer a brief, tight smile which he returns. Christian has all of the necessary papers lain out on the desk before us and Roach takes a seat across from us. After that I hear Christian's voice but the act of distinguishing words escapes me. Even if I did make an attempt to listen intently there wouldn't be much of a point, his words are few and Roach only nods before signing the papers and handing over his badge.

When a paper is slid in front of me I sign my name as well, acting much like a robot or puppet being told what to do. If this was not someone whom I considered a superior of mine I am sure my reaction would be much different, but it's not. Roach has been a mentor in many ways and I have learned a great deal from him. He was one of the few good things at GP, then SIP, when I began working here as an intern over a year ago. There are no words of disagreement and when the process is over we part amicably.

"Please contact me if you need a letter of reference for any future jobs," Christian says standing. He offers his business card to Roach, which he accepts.

"I will, Mr. Grey, thank you. Mrs. Grey," he begins turning to me, "it has been an honor working with you and for you."

"Thank Mr. Roach, I feel the same." He nods tightly and picking up his briefcase he exits the room and GP for the final time.

I watch the doorway for a long moment while Christian gathers the papers and stacks them into a neat pile.

"Well, that went well." He remarks, I look at him.

"As well as it could have considering the man just lost his job."

"Anastasia, you don't agree with me firing Roach do you?"

"I understand it and I agree with why," I sigh, "I just wish things could have gone differently."

"We'll begin searching for a replacement after the holiday break." He says, choosing not to explore the path of my prior statement. I can't blame him though, we hashed through all of that last night and there is no reason to revisit it. It is what it is and I can't change any of it.

I stand and take the folder comprised of Roach's employment records to Hannah. "Will you file these for me Hannah?"

"Yes ma'am Mrs. Grey." She stands from her desk and takes the manila folder from my hand. "Will you be working today?"

"No, I'm leaving now to go home to Teddy." For the first time all day an honest smile creeps across my face. Teddy, my sweet baby, the purest form of innocence, I cannot wait to hold him in my arms.

"You must bring him by soon for Claire and I to see him."

"Next week, I promise." Holding the file in her hands she bids me goodbye and I leave to find Christian.

Taylor and I drop Christian off at GEH. He kisses me softly and strokes my cheek as the SUV idles at the curb.

"I will be home at three so we can dress for this evening and drop Ted at Kate and Elliot's."

Oh the benefit dinner, I'd almost forgotten about it. I smile again, for the second time today. This gives me something else to look forward too, a night out with my gorgeous husband for a good cause.

"And I will be waiting for you." I kiss him in return before he opens his door, exiting out into the chilly November day.

"Home Mrs. Grey?" Taylor asks before pulling into traffic.

I lean my head against my window. "Yes, Taylor, home. It sounds wonderful." He smiles at me and nods in the review mirror and I hug my arms around myself, yearning to be there now.

**"Wake up my sleepy** girl," melodious words float around me with the scent of fresh linens, body wash and Christian. Before I even open my eyes I know it's him. My senses are acutely attuned to him. He nuzzles me again, "Ana, baby, wake up." This time I blink my eyes open, his strikingly handsome face comes into focus. I reach up and run my fingers along his chiseled jawline, feeling his evening stubble tickle my skin. He turns his face and kisses my palm. "Did you have good nap?"

"I did," my sleepy voice answers. "Is Ted awake?"

"Not yet."

"What time is it?"

"A little after three," he says glancing at the clock over my shoulder. "I thought perhaps we could have a bath before he wakes up?"

"We?" I smirk at him.

"Oh yes, most definitely 'we', and after that I have a surprise for you."

"What might my surprise be?"

"My dear Mrs. Grey, you will have to be patient. Come, bathe with me." Planting a peck of a kiss on the tip of my nose he pulls the covers back, allowing me to climb out of the bed.

The bathroom is full of steam, the fragrant scent of jasmine floating in the air amongst the swirls of mist. Our giant tub is filled near to the brim with water and bubbles. I slip the sweat pants and t-shirt I put on after returning from work this morning off of my body and step in, grateful for Christian's thoughtful gesture. My toes and feet sting initially from the heat but it soon melts away and I sink into the bubbles, letting them engulf me and carry away my tension.

"This is delectable Christian, perfect after an afternoon nap and before an evening out with you, my gorgeous husband."

Stepping one foot at a time out of his black boxer briefs he casts them to the tile floor and joins me amidst the pure white froth. "We aim to please beautiful wife." He reaches for me and I giggle wildly as he spins me around so that I am sitting between his legs, my back to his front.

"And please me you do," I answer, echoing the same phrase he has spoken to me so many times before. "How was the remainder of your day?"

"Relatively dull and mundane compared to this moment…with you." He adds, nipping my ear seductively. His voice is low, sweltering with fervor and passion. Wrapping his legs around mine he brings his hands down to my breasts and begins kneading them with smooth, moderate strokes. "How was your day?"

"Good," I half moan, tilting my head to the side I give his lips access to my neck, which he takes advantage of, licking and sucking from just below my lobe to my collar bone. "Ted and I played, had lunch, played more and then took naps."

"The ideal day for mother and son," he nudges the crook of my neck, urging me to tilt it to the other side before giving that side equal attention. I feel him hardening behind me against the small of my back and I want him. Breaking away I turn abruptly so that I am facing him.

"It was, but now I would like some mommy and daddy playtime." My fingers begin a trail from his neck and continue south, grazing his oh so happy trail, coming to rest at the tip of his erection.

"I'm all yours Mommy."

"Oh, I should hope so Daddy," I grin. I grip the sides of the tub to steady myself and keeping my eyes trained on his I slide over his length, moaning as I do at the familiar but delicious feeling of my body stretching, conforming to his.


	50. Chapter 50

******Love you all! Here's a new chapter for you!******

I point my toes to slide my silk stockings over my feet and up my leg before hooking the straps of my garter the lace band which rests at the top of my thigh. Christian is watching my reflection in the dresser mirror as he buttons his cufflinks. He looks edible in his black suit and silk tie. Finishing with my stockings I stand and place my hands on my hips.

"I'm finished Mr. Grey, now all I need is my dress."

He reaches for the black bag hanging over the back of the closet door. "I think I have just the thing for you." Unzipping the bag he reveals a short cocktail dress. It is black with a square neckline and capped sleeves. The satin underlining is form fitting and covered in lace, patterned with intermittent silver stripes and swirls.

"I knew it was a dress," I chide him, smiling flirtatiously.

"And I knew it would be stunning on you the moment I saw it."

"Christian, you really must stop spoiling me."

"Never," he gives me a heart stopping, panty dropping grin and I swear my knees nearly buckle on the spot.

Christian helps me step into the dress and zips the zipper, speckling my back with kisses as he pulls the zipper up. I smooth the fabric, loving the sheer lace hem which hits me right above the knee.

"I was right, exquisite." He admires and I feel a natural flush creep across my cheeks. Admiring myself in the mirror I play with the tiny curled tendrils of hair framing my face.

"Should I wear my diamond droplets?" He knows I'm asking about my second chance earrings. Reaching from behind me he takes the delicate earrings from my jewelry box and kisses each of my earlobes before securing the earrings in place. I dab on a small amount of light pink lip gloss and am ready to go.

"Shall we escort our son to his Aunt and Uncle, Mommy?"

"We shall, Daddy." Tucking my arm in his we make our way downstairs to collect Ted from Mrs. Taylor. She has his bags packed and he is all set for a night with Kate and Elliot.

"His bottles are here Kate and here's his milk. Remember to warm it up before giving it to him, but not in the microwave…"

"And test it on my rest to make sure it's not too hot." Kate finishes my sentence for me. I blow out a sigh, ruffling the curls framing my face and let out a laugh.

"You know all of this already don't you?"

"Kinda, Ana this isn't the first time I've taken care of Ted you know?"

"I know. Just promise to call us if he gets fussy or if you think something isn't right." Looking over my shoulder I see Christian in the living room slipping Ted from his carrier and cradling him in his arms. Ted feel asleep in the car and his little gray eyes blink once or twice as he tries to wake up. I shake my head at myself, I admonished Christian for being nervous and now I'm the one who can't shake my nerves.

"Ana, Elliot and I will take very good care of Teddy. We will call you if anything happens but I promise it won't. We will be fine and so will he. You and Christian enjoy your night out, don't worry about us. By the way, you look hot tonight Grey." She adds assessing me from head to toe.

I wring my hands trying to smile in thanks, but fail miserably. "Thank you, Christian gave me the dress this evening." I undo my wrap to show her the black lace cocktail dress then turn my attention back to my boys. "I'm just going to miss him so much." Walking over to Christian I place a kiss atop my baby boys forehead. He opens his eyes and jabbers, giving me a happy squeal with a gummy, tooth dotted smile. "Are you going to be a very good boy for your Auntie Kate and Uncle Elliot?"

"Piece of cake Ana, Kate and I have this in the bag." Elliot gloats stealing Ted from Christian's arms. Teddy grins at him and Elliot lifts him above his head, bringing him down to blow a raspberry on his tummy. Just as he begins to lower him a long stream of drool escapes from Teddy's smiling mouth, landing straight in Elliot's eye. We all break out in a fit of laughter and Kate grabs a paper towel from the kitchen. "Thanks for that shower nephew of mine." Elliot says dabbing his eye dry with the offered paper towel, still holding Ted with his free arm.

"Don't shake him up, sometimes when you do that things have a way of reappearing on you in a most unpleasant manner." Christian offers a bit of sage advice, from experience.

"Experienced that first hand, have you bro?"

"Yes, he has." I laugh. "Give Mommy and Daddy bye bye kisses Teddy." Christian and I each take turns leaning in, kissing Ted's cheeks. After saying a few more goodbyes walk to the door, Christian guides me with his hand at the small of my back.

"You two have a wonderful time," Kate says, opening the door for us. Elliot is still holding Ted, they are sitting on the couch together, getting ready to watch a football game. Ted's propped in his uncle's lap his back resting against Elliot's stomach while he chews on his circular orange colored teething ring. His eyes are locked on the television screen in front of him, enthralled by a commercial showing singing farm animals.

"Kate, don't forget his sweet potatoes…"

"Are in his bag, Ana, we've got it under control."

"Baby, he'll be just fine." Christian kisses my lips chastely. I give him a small smile.

Elliot's voice erupts from behind us, causing us all to turn in his direction. "Uh…Kate…I think we've got a situation here honey. Baby Teddy needs his Auntie Kate to change him."

"And that would be our cue to exit." Christian laughs, "Laters bro, have a good time with your nephew!" He calls to Elliot who we can hear coughing as we exit the apartment.

A valet opens my door as we arrive at The Lake Union Café. Christian exits from his side quickly to take my hand and help me from his black R8. I hide a giggle at the excitement of the young valet, very eager to get his hands on the keys. Christian hands him the keys and a generous tip before offering me his arm which I take without hesitation, wanting to be out of the nippy evening wind. I am elated to be out without security this evening and a little shocked by that particular fact as well. Inside I am fully aware Ryan or Sawyer may be lurking in the shadows watching us or Kate and Elliot's apartment because Ted is there. It doesn't madden me like it used to though. I know it is Christian's way of taking care of us and I have grown to accept it for what it is. Brushing all unpleasant thoughts aside I chose to have a magical evening out with my husband. The music drifting from inside already has me starting to sway. I cannot wait to float through the room like a wisp of a cloud on a soft spring breeze.

The large room is already bustling with activity when we step through the doors. A young man dressed in black slack and a white shirt with a black vest takes our coats and bags, handing us a slip of paper which Christian slips in his pants pocket.

"Would you like some champagne?" He takes two flutes from a waiter passing by with a tray full and offers one to me. Tapping my glass with his we both take a sip. The bubbles tickle my nose. It tastes cool, fruity and crisp.

"Are Grace and Carrick here yet?" I search the room with my eyes, trying to spot them.

"They should be. Come, let's mingle and I'm sure we'll find them."

Champagne flutes in hand we link arms and begin walking through the room. The center of the room is dominated by a high vaulted ceiling; rectangular columns line each side of the center designating the dance floor from the dining tables. The center of the room holds the dance floor, large ornate brass and frosted glass chandeliers are suspend from the high ceiling over the dancing couples who are moving in unison to the sounds of a brass band. Square tables wearing crisp white linen table cloths dot the sides of the room. The centerpieces are comprised of candles twinkling in glass holders amongst floral arrangements, rich in deep hues of amber, gold and scarlet.

I spend the next half hour shaking hands with many men and women who are eager to speak with Christian. He gives most his undivided attention but in true Christian style there are a select few he chooses to pass over quickly. I answer the usual questions about how Grey's Publishing is doing, a few ladies are happy to share with me their love for our eBooks. I'm happy to meet some of the public who read the authors we publish. The crowd begins to slowly disperse to sit at their selected tables for dinner to be served. It is then when we spot Grace and Carrick speaking with two men who I guess are some of Carrick's colleagues.

"Christian, Ana, we've been looking for you." Grace extends her arms, taking us both in turn to kiss our cheeks.

Christian shakes Carrick's hand and Carrick leans in to kiss my cheek. "You look beautiful tonight, Ana." He remarks.

"Thank you." I take a sip of my champagne, noting I need another glass soon. It really is delicious.

"Christian, you remember Rod and James, my two colleagues." Carrick says nodding in the direction of the two men he and Grace were conversing with.

"Yes, hello gentlemen," Christian shakes their offered hands. "I don't believe you've met my wife, Anastasia." I feel his thumb running up and down the exposed skin on my lower back, sending a shiver up my spine.

"Anastasia," they both nod. They are polite but a bit stuffy for my taste. We make polite small talk for a few minutes. Mostly I just stand and listen while continuing to nurse my flute of champagne.

As if a light bulb flickered on in his mind one of the men, James I believe, I can't remember who is who…mmmmm…the champagne…looks to me and snaps his fingers. "Anastasia Steele," He says, his tone indicating he's remembered something.

"Yes, Grey now." I correct him. The chatter amongst us has ceased, all eyes are focused on James, wondering where he is going with his thought. He looks around our group no doubt perplexed by the quiet. "I just remember your name, it never clicked until now. I knew Carrick's son had married an Ana but hearing your full name, Anastasia. A lawyer friend of mine had a friend, her name was…Susannah, yes, that's it," he says recalling the information. I feel all of the blood draining from my face. Christian's finger has stopped moving. "She spoke of an Anastasia Steele dating a man whom she and one of her friends used to date."

I risk a glance at Grace and Carrick, both are watching with wide eyes. This is news to them, they never knew Christian…ummm…dated before me. To their knowledge I was his first girlfriend, well they now know about Mrs. Pedo, but she was never a girlfriend. Oblivious to the entire exchange going on James continues on. I haven't even looked in the other man's direction.

"I assume you are that Anastasia?"

"Yes, yes I am." I answer him, trying desperately to keep my voice from shaking.

All credit to Christian he lifts my hand and kisses the back of it, locking his eyes with mine. He's trying to convey a message of calm to me. "She is James. This is Anastasia Steele, now Grey, the woman who stole my heart." He's speaking to James but watching me intently. "Does your friend still speak with Susannah? How is she doing?" Holy cow, he's so casual. My knees are trying to buckle like they're made of jello.

"He hasn't spoken of in her quite a while. It seems as though they've lost contact over the past few years."

Christian nods thoughtfully before leaning down to kiss my check. "Would you like to be seated for dinner Mrs. Grey?" He asks, effectively dismissing they conversation and topic all together.

"Yes, please." I murmur.

"Mom, Dad, would you like to join us?"

"Yes, son." Carrick offers his arm to Grace, which she takes. "James, Rod, it was nice speaking with you both." He says and bids them good evening.

Christian and I are already halfway across the room to our table when I hear them saying their goodbyes. "Don't sweat it baby." He whispers to me pulling out my chair.

"Christian, your mother and father looked as if someone had just told them the world was indeed flat. They were shocked beyond belief. And Susannah obviously spoke of her relationship with you."

"Mom and Dad will be fine Anastasia. As for what Susannah spoke of, I couldn't be more thrilled we ran into James and he revealed what she spoke of to us. She's violated her NDA and given a false affidavit. There is no longer a doubt in my mind that she is how Ms. Wise came to possess her knowledge of me and I intend to make Susannah pay dearly."


	51. Chapter 51

*****I want to take a poll. I strive to post every few days with chapters about 2,000-2,500 words long. Would you rather I continue on with that or post less often with chapters around 5,000 words long? **

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Carrick pulls Grace's chair out for her before taking his own seat. Although they are doing their best to hide their surprise it is still visible in their facial expressions as well as their mannerisms toward Christian and I. All credit to Grace she is making a better attempt to hide her shock than Carrick, picking up the menu in front of her she begins pouring over it, talking endlessly about the different dinner selections. Our waitress brings the appetizer Christian ordered when we first sat down, crab dip in phyllo tartlets; my mouth is watering just from the smell. Practicing restraint I wait until our champagne glasses have been topped off before reaching for a tartlet and placing it on my small plate.

"I hope the crab tartlets are okay with everyone." Christian says offering one to his mother.

"Their perfect dear," Grace takes one and places it on her plate as well. Carrick holds his hand up declining Christian's offering. My stomach drops, he's wearing a serious_ we need to talk about this _expression. Please God, not here, not now. I pick up my fork and knife and cut into the tartlet, taking a small bite into my mouth. I chew slowly savoring the taste. It is creamy, buttery, flaky and delicious.

"That was certainly an interesting conversation with Mr. Brook wasn't it," Carrick states. I assume Mr. Brook is James. Carrick eyes Christian and I as he drinks a bit of champagne.

"How so?" Christian returns, raising an eyebrow, challenging his father.

"Your mother and I certainly were unaware of you being involved with anyone."

"Carrick, Christian is a grown man now and he was then as well." Grace interjects. I feel my scalp prickling, this is not good. Desperately wishing I could disappear under the table I pick up the remaining tartlet on my plate and pop the entire thing in my mouth. Not a good idea. It's still hot and I'm trying to chew slowly and cool it off at the same time. I lift my glass of champagne and swill down a huge gulp, swallowing the food at once. Grace looks to me and her expression softens before her eyes swing back to her husband. "This subject is closed Carrick and if you choose to revisit it I suggest you do so at a later time." He looks affronted but nods, conceding to his wife. Thank heavens.

I am grateful for the fact that Christian appears willing to put the matter behind him as well. Grace asks about Ted and how Kate and Elliot are doing, moving the conversation into a safer direction. The conversation flows comfortably throughout dinner and by the time our dessert, slices of pumpkin-chai cake with cream cheese frosting, arrives I am quite stuffed as well as a wee bit tipsy. Having consumed too much champagne I find myself feeling hot and overly giggly. With the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk I sense Christian's entertainment at my state of being. Grace has had a bit too much as well and is just as jubilant as I am.

"Would you like to dance Mrs. Grey?" The waitress clears our dishes away, leaving us with more champagne and a glass of water for me.

"I'd love to." I grin at him.

"Good, then drink your water first." I gulp down the water, actually feeling quite thirsty. He stands and offers his hand to me.

Rising I feel the room tilt and swirl. "Christian, I'd like to go to the ladies room first and I want to call Kate to check on Teddy."

"Don't be long," he kisses my lips softly and I exit, in search of the restrooms.

I finish washing my hands and fish for my cell phone in my clutch. Kate picks up on the second ring.

"Hello,"

"Hi Kate, it's me. I was just calling to check on my sweet boy."

"He's doing just fine. I'm holding him right now, we're getting ready for a bottle."

"He's being good for you?"

"Good as gold Mommy. Aren't you Teddy? Tell Mommy to have a good time and not to worry about you."

I hear him jabbering in the background, starting to fuss for his milk. Instantly my body begins to respond to the sounds of my baby. I need to end this phone call or I'm going to have a problem on my hands. "Kiss him for me Kate. Christian and I will be there to pick him up first thing in the morning."

"I will. Tell Mommy night night." She holds the phone to Ted's mouth and he gurgles once more. My body is tingling and I feel myself beginning to swell. I run my hand across my chest, trying to dull the discomfort.

"Night night my sweet boy, sleep tight," I tell him then I hear the phone shifting as Kate gets back on, "bye Kate."

"Bye Ana." I hit end and slip my phone back in my clutch before rejoining the table.

Upon my return Christian stands and offers me his hand, mine smoothly glides into his grasp. I hide my tenderness, smiling up at my knight in shining armor, hoping the ache will subside.

"If you all will excuse us," he nods in the direction of his mother and father who are now speaking with a couple. I immediately recognize the woman they are speaking with as Andrea from GEH, the man she is with must be her husband. I give her a quick wave and smile as Christian whisks me off to the dance floor.

He holds me in his arms and the band begins to play the Moonlight Serenade. The elegant music fills the room, compelling my feet to move in time with his. Dancing with Christian is effortless and natural. We waltz with grace, and I am completely unaware of the multitude of gazes fixated on us. The room is busy, the dance floor full, but to us we are the alone, immersed in one another. Each captivated by the magic in the other's eyes. The song ends only to allow another one to begin.

Flowing into an unending rhythm Christian draws me closer to his body, pressing my chest to his. I flinch ever so slightly, he catches my discomposure immediately.

"Baby, are you uncomfortable?" He asks, leaning down to whisper in my ear, so that only I can hear his words.

"I'll be fine." The ache is beginning to dull, not tingling nearly as much as before.

"Did you speak with Kate and Elliot?"

"Teddy is doing perfect. I heard him; Kate held the phone down for me to talk to him." I watch understanding come across his face, followed by a passionate gleam in his gray eyes. We twirl and swirl around other couples. His hand flexes around the small of my back, pulling me so close that I swear I can hear his heart beating next to mine. He tastes my skin with his lips and tongue, outlining my jaw with warm, moist kisses, finally meeting my mouth. I close my eyes and drink in the smell and feel of him.

"Where would you like to spend the night Mrs. Grey?" He asks, his mouth lingering just above mine.

"In your arms Mr. Grey." I blink my eyes open, my vision somewhat fuzzy due to the effects of the four glasses of champagne.

"Oh, that's a given Mrs. Grey," he chuckles. He kisses me again and begins working his way back along my jawline as he speaks, each word is staccato. "Home. Or. Escala?"

My panties dampen, my sex tightening in anticipation. "Escala…" I whisper back, my eyes nearly roll back in my head as I look up at the ornate chandeliers. I declare I could orgasm right here on the spot merely from his kisses and words alone. _Playroom_…murmurs my inner goddess as she slips out of her panties, her voice breathless from Christian's sensual attentions.

Christian releases my hand from his hold and I bring it to rest against his black silk tie. Tender, long fingers dance lightly over my exposed skin, delineating on the edge of my lacey square neckline. Our eyes remain locked, my breathing is accelerating and I can feel my chest moving up and down, my arousal growing.

"Would you like to leave now?"

"Christian, we haven't been here long. Shouldn't we stay and mingle for a bit longer?"

"You're uncomfortable Mrs. Grey and I know why. I am yearning to relieve the pressure you are feeling and I intend to care for your needs in a timely fashion."

Unthinking, pure impulse running through my veins, I take his hand in mine and lead him off the dance floor. Passing by tables full of people, enjoying after dinner drinks, coffee and desserts I make my way to the dressing room near the restrooms. I tap on the door twice, no answer. I turn the handle and lead Christian in behind me before locking the door. Briefly I hope no one saw us come in here, but then I decide I don't care. My body is screaming for relief and he will take care of me.

When I turn to face him he is smirking, a devilish grin spread from ear to ear. I reach behind me and unzip my dress, allowing the capped sleeves to fall midway down my upper arms. Christian steps forward, moving my hand from where I am now attempting to unlatch my black lace bra he finishes the task.

"Sit." He says moving a black wooden chair from the wall. I do as I'm told and he kneels before me. "Just enough to alleviate your discomfort, I want the rest of you later."

Cupping one breast with his large hands he brings his mouth to my peaked nipple and begins to suckle me. My body feels relief instantly. I knot my fingers in his hair, combing them through his soft, tousled, copper locks as he nurses my breast. "Thank you," I breathe, wanting him to know how good this feels. My belly flutters, subtle quivers moving south in my body. I bring my lips down to press a kiss against his hair while he switches to my other breast, giving it the same care as he gave the other.

When he finishes he kisses each nipple reverently and re-covers me. Refastening my bra and zipping back up my dress.

"Better?"

"Much." I smile shyly at him. I swipe my thumb over his bottom lip, gathering a drop of my milk. I push my thumb to his lips. His tongue darts out licking the bead from my skin.

"So. Sweet. I. Love. The. Way. You. Taste." He says, stroking his finger down my cheek before kissing my lips, his tongue finds mine, stroking it. I give myself freely to him in this kiss, feeling his love wash over me. "Come, let's rejoin the party. I'm sure everyone must be wondering where we slipped off too."

Blush creeps across my cheeks, please oh please, don't let anyone ask why we were missing. I'm not sure I can keep from turning beet red if they do.

"There you two are," Grace looks up from where she and Carrick are still speaking with Andrea and her husband, Flynn and his wife Rhian have joined them. Everyone smiles politely, greeting Christian and I upon our return to the party. "I was wondering where you two had gone off too." Grace continues and I feel my face growing hot. My eyes dart around the assemblage and I catch speculative grins from Andrea and Mrs. Flynn. I can only imagine what they must be thinking we were doing. _I bet what they are thinking is not exactly accurate;_ my subconscious chooses to chime in with her two cents. _Not every husband nurses from his wife's breasts_, she continues. Mentally I tell her to shush because not every woman's husband is has hot as mine.

As always Christian plays it cool though. "We went to call Kate and Elliot to check on Ted." A waiter passes by, carrying a tray of something pink and bubbly. I resist the urge to take another beverage under the watchful eye of my husband and instead ask for a sparkling water with lemon. He nods and disappears to fetch my request. Four glasses of champagne is really enough for me.

"How is your beautiful baby?" Rhian asks. I am all too happy to share with her how much Ted has grown and all of the new things he is learning every day. She listens, commenting ever so often on how she remembers her children doing those exact same things. I like Rhian, she is a genuine person and I have always felt at ease with her.

The night comes to a close. Couples begin migrating towards the door, checking out their coats and bags, bidding each other good night before climbing back in their cars which the valets are driving around to the front. Christian and I are standing in the cold night air waiting for the R8 to appear amongst the line of other vehicles. Still warm from the champagne the chill barely nips my skin, nonetheless I move closer to Christian's body attempting to keep it at bay.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" He asks, I look up at him. His face is illuminated by the headlights passing by and the red lighted sign hanging above our heads.

"I did." I smile at him. "I could have done without a few parts of it but overall it was a very enjoyable evening."

His expression grows serious. "I've told you Ana, not another thought about what Mr. Brooks said. I will take care of it."

A brief fleeting thought crosses my still somewhat wooly mind. _'She spoke of an Anastasia Steele dating man she and one of her friends used to date.' _James Brooks's words echo in my head. Who was this friend? Before I'm able to finish my thought our car comes to a stop in front of us and Christian opens my door for me. I scoot in out of the cold and snuggle down in the warm seat; thankful home is not far away tonight. In only a few minutes we'll be arriving at Escala.


	52. Chapter 52

**Thank you all for your reviews and answers. The more frequents at 2k to 2,500 words a chapter have it :) I am blessed to have such enthusiastic readers and am so glad you all love my story. I am close to having 500 followers on this story alone and have gone over 1,000 reviews on this story as well. Thank you all so much!**

**I am vaguely aware **of where I am when we arrive at Escala. Smoothly Christian pulls the R8 through the gate of the garage and parks in one of his many bays. I lift my head from where it has been resting against the window and smile sleepily at him.

"We were only in the car a short time. Are you that tired Mrs. Grey?" Leaning over he unbuckles my seatbelt for me.

I cover my mouth, shielding a yawn. "I guess. I didn't realize how tired though until I sat down. I think it's the champagne too." Mental exhaustion has found its way to me along with physical tiredness.

I lean into Christian's arms as we ride the elevator up to our apartment. I let my shoes hang loosely in my hand, discarded due to my aching feet. Which now feel much better that they are flat on the ground. Christian flips on the light switches, bringing the apartment back to life as we enter. The pendants dangling above the breakfast bar gleam a soothing burnt orange.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Water, please." I call over my shoulder. I continue walking past the kitchen to the sumptuous white sofa. I sink down into its softness and lazily watch the lights of Seattle twinkling like colorful stars on the other side of the expansive glass wall.

"Here baby."

He offers me a glass of water which I gratefully take and drink half of before setting it on the coffee table in front of me. He flips a switch on the gas fireplace bringing it to life in before my eyes before coming to join me. My head falls back against one of the throw pillows and my eyelids close immediately.

I hear Christian's soft melodic laughter and feel him lift my silk stocking covered feet, resting them on his lap. Music fills the room, deep notes played on a piano repeat in a familiar melody. "Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata," I smile, my sleepy eyes still closed.

"Yes, it was one of my first recital pieces I ever played." His long fingers which play the piano so flawlessly work the arch of my foot. Massaging the ache out of them, I moan faintly at the sensation. I bask in this moment of tranquility in our first home we shared together.

"Will you play it for me sometime?" I mumble.

"Anytime you wish to hear it." He brings my foot to his mouth and kisses each of my toes in turn, sending shivers up my spine and tingles straight to the apex of my thighs.

The sound of my phone ringing causes my eyes to pop open; Ted is the first thing that comes to my mind. Christian is up and across the room to where my purse is resting on the breakfast bar before I can stand up from the sofa.

"Hello," I hear him answer the phone. I come to stand beside him, imploring him with my eyes to tell me who it is.

"Is it Ted?" I mouth the words and he holds a hand up to me, nodding his head, listening to the person on the end of the phone intently.

"His infant drops are in his bag Kate." It is my Ted. I wring my hands, hoping he is okay. "I'm going to put Ana on the phone Kate." He places the phone in my hands and explains Teddy's having discomfort from teething. I breathe out a sigh of relief. He's been fussy over a tooth he's working to break through. Christian stands by my side while I speak with Kate, talking her through the dosage amount and how to give it to him. From what I can tell Elliot is holding him as Kate tends to him. He quiets down and Kate sighs with relief, as do I.

"Do I need to come and get him?"

"He's calming down now, Ana. Uncle Elliot is rocking him in his arms and he's chewing on his favorite ring."

"I hate for him to keep you both up all night, it's so late." I glance at the kitchen clock, it's nearly eleven.

"Nonsense, now you two get back to whatever you were doing and forget we interrupted you. Make another baby for Auntie Kate and Uncle Elliot to spoil rotten." I blush and look over at Christian who is eyeing me curiously.

"Kate!"

"What? I know you two and you go at it like bunny rabbits." Elliot is bursting with laughter in the background.

"I'm hanging up now, Kate."

"Go get him Ana! Turn my little brother's world upside down!" Elliot shouts, causing my blush to deepen further.

"Goodbye, Kate."

"Bye, Ana." She's still chuckling at herself when I hang up the phone, rather pleased with her teasing words. I put my phone back in my purse and turn to face Christian.

"What was that about?"

"Kate just being Kate, hassling me about you and I getting busy on the task of giving her another niece or nephew." He raises an eyebrow at me while I attempt to stifle another yawn.

"As enticing as that sounds Mrs. Grey I believe you are past ready for bed." I nod in agreement, yawning yet again. Dragging my feet I begin to walk in the direction of our bedroom when Christian scoops me up in his arms. My head rests against his chest. "We can practice our baby making skills in the morning after you've had a good night's sleep." Sleep, it sounds heavenly right now. No waking up to nurse Ted, no busy mind running through troubles at work, just pure, uninterrupted sleep in the arms of my husband.

Dressed for bed in one of Christian's t-shirts I slip between the sheets with Christian at my side.

"Turn on your side to face me." He coaxes me and lifts his shirt up to expose my breasts. "Fall asleep sweet girl. I've got you." He tells me and I relax my body, entangling my bare legs with his as he slides down to suckle me. He's given so much to me today, even in the past few days; he's given so freely of himself. His only aim has been to please me.

"Christian…I…"

Pausing he looks back up, his tender expression searching my face. "What is it baby?"

"You've given me so much attention; surely I should return your responsiveness to me in your favor."

"You're tired Ana. Please, allow me to nurture your body."

"You have needs as well Christian. I never want to be a wife who only receives, never giving in return."

He moves back up so that we are nose to nose. Leaning on one elbow he strokes the contours of my face with his fingers. "You give me so much when you allow me to drink from your body in such an intimate way. Never doubt the magnitude of passion this simple act holds for me Anastasia. I am fulfilled by you, more than you will ever know."

Not holding back I kiss him, pressing my lips to his. I draw his bottom lip between my teeth, sucking it softly. "I love you."

Gently he guides me down and positions himself against my breasts once more. Laying back I close my eyes and feel him. His heat, his devotion and affection pour over me. Taking me to a place meant only for us, where only we can travel together. Christian makes me feel loved and my body cherished. Brushing my hands across his taunt shoulder blades I hold him to me as I fall asleep.

**A gray Seattle morning** greets me. The sky blanketed in a lethargic fog adds only a pale muted light to our bedroom, high amongst the clouds. Wrapped around me tightly Christian is still deep in sleep. His mouth parted ever so slightly to accommodate his even breaths to pass between his perfect lips begs to be kissed. I leave him though, taking the opportunity to slip from bed and tend to my own needs in the bathroom.

When I emerge he is still asleep, having not moved from the position I left him in. Careful not to wake him, I quietly riffle through the bureau drawers in search of a pair of sweat pants. Upon finding them I slip them on and pad out of the room, my bare feet not making a sound. The lights in the kitchen offer a warm glow, differing from the gloom outside. I decide on some tea and while the water is warming in the teapot I check my phone for any missed calls, texts or emails. There is nothing. I breathe out a sigh of relief knowing the remainder of Ted's night was good.

With my cup of breakfast tea in hand I gaze out the window, watching the city slowly emerge from its slumber to greet the new day. Cars move about on the streets and people, who appear to be tiny ants, scurry along the sidewalks going about their daily business. My mind cannot help but drift to Roach. It's only been one day since he lost his job, but I hope he is able to find peace. I can only imagine the numbness he must be feeling, having lost his career due to a fate caused by his own actions. Then there is Susannah and the revelation made last night by Mr. James Brooks that she has indeed violated the NDA. My memory grasps the fleeting thought I had before getting in the car last night as we stood on the curb outside of Lake Union Café… _She spoke of an Anastasia Steele dating a man she and one of her friends used to date_…she and one of her friends…she and one of her friends…It hits me like a bullet speeding out of a gun barrel slamming into a brick wall. The she is Susannah, the friend must be Leila. My hand begins to shake causing the white tea cup to clatter against the saucer beneath it.

I turn and place them both on top of the piano beside me. Of course the friend is Leila. They traveled together, the pair of them, when they came to my work the summer we were married. What was it they called themselves along with the other women who had subbed for Christian? The sub…the sub…the subclub…yes, that's it. My stomach feels sick at the memory of that day. The piece of the puzzle come crashing from above, all falling into one neat picture at once. This friend of Mr. James Brooks could have been involved with both Susannah and Leila. I'm not sure of it but the likeliness of that being the case is very high, and if that is indeed the case then it is also likely that this friend is a dominant and they subbed for him just as they subbed for Christian.

I cover my mouth with my hand, holding back a sob. It is all crystal clear now. Will this life ever leave us alone? Sadly my subconscious shakes her head, _he had so many relationships here in Seattle, the likely hood of them never coming back to haunt him was never a great one._ I agree with her sagacious words, knowing I would be foolish to believe anything opposite of her declaration. _Please let this fall behind us soon, he is good man; he is a good husband and a perfect father. Please don't hold his past transgressions against him for the rest of his life. _Silently I look towards the heavens and offer this prayer from my soul.

Needing to be near him I take off on a near run in the direction of our bedroom. The bedroom he has never shared with anyone but me. I see that he is still asleep when I renter so I strip off my clothes, climbing in beside him. I press my naked body against his, wanting to feel his skin against mine. Christian grumbles in protest but then moans with pleasure when his hand grazes over my bare breasts.

"Hold me, Christian, please." I whisper.

"Ana?" He calls out my name sleepily.

"I'm cold, please hold me." Still lost in sleep he draws me near, wrapping his body and his warmth around me. I bury my face against his chest and close my eyes, attempting to keep my previous thoughts at bay.


	53. Chapter 53

****Just wanted to say WELCOME to all of my new story followers! I've been getting email notifications like crazy telling me every time I get a new follower. I hope you all enjoy the story!****

**Eggs and bacon, my** inarticulate mind clouded by sleep pieces together the scents floating from the kitchen and into our bedroom, breakfast. Reaching for Christian's empty pillow I hug it to my body, and allow myself a few more minutes to doze. In my garbled state I remember waking early in the hours of the morning, having tea and conjuring unpleasant thoughts before returning back to Christian in bed. I need to tell him what brought me back to bed with the urge to be held by him. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and reach for the ashen blue blanket folded neatly at the foot of the bed. I wrap it around my naked body and leave the room to find Christian.

"Good morning sleepyhead," standing at the stove he is running a spatula slowly through a skillet of eggs. His hair is tousled from sleep and from where I stand he appears to be wearing nothing, though I know he more than likely has his pajama pants on. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds good. It smells delicious."

"Not as delicious as you look wrapped in that blanket Mrs. Grey."

He turns off the burner and carries the skillet to where our two plates rest at the bar. He plates up the eggs, adding bacon, toast and fresh fruit as well. I'm always amazed at how everything is perfect when we arrive at Escala even when we have been absent for a while. He must keep Taylor jumping through hoops at times. My mouth is watering at the sight and smell of the food. My stomach grumbles in concurrence, urging my feet forward to cross the room and have a seat.

Christian joins me and pours the tea he has had steeping for me in my cup before pouring his coffee. "You slept late this morning."

"I was up earlier."

"You were?"

"Only for a short time, then I came back to bed." I pick up my fork and begin eating my eggs.

He takes a sip of his coffee. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to disturb you." I try for a shift of gears in our conversation, not wanting to visit my earlier musings just yet. "This is delicious Christian, thank you for cooking breakfast for me."

"You are very welcome, baby."

We eat comfortably and after we are finished he stands to load the dishes.

"I can do that Christian."

"Not a chance Mrs. Grey. I've got it." He opens the dishwasher and begins placing the utensils in their basket. I sit on my chair, watching him, enjoying the sight of his muscles moving beneath his skin. "There is something you could do for me though…" The sentence is an open ended one, but I know what he is going to say next. A muddled concoction of emotions fill my stomach, anticipation, upset, passion…all rolled into one amalgam I can't decipher. "Be in the playroom and ready for me when I am finished cleaning up." He adds with a wickedly delicious gleam in his eyes.

Normally I would jump off my chair and run in the direction of the playroom but now I find myself firmly planted, unmoving. "Ana?" He looks to me in confusion.

"I can't." I barely whisper the words, biting my lip in perplexity.

"Baby, why is something wrong?" Dropping the dishes to the counter he is by my side immediately. Running his hands over my face, down my body over the blanket, as if checking me for any sight of injury.

"I'm fine, Christian. It's just…I don't want to go in there right now." I tell him, shaking my head and trying to shoo his hands away from me.

"Does this have something to do with what happened at the benefit last night? I told you Ana, don't worry about it."

"How can I not? Remember what Mr. Brooks said about Susannah and her friend? What if that friend was Leila Christian? They came together when Leila came to my work after we were married, remember? Before you arrived they said something about being in something they called a 'subclub' with the other girls who had subbed for you. What if that friend of Mr. Brooks was a dom too and they subbed for him? What if this is all some kind of sick twisted circle and you're caught up in the middle of it because of your lifestyle before me?" As my words go on I find myself becoming increasingly hysterical, the volume of my voice rising with each passing second.

A myriad of emotions sweeps across his beautifully defined face. Worry, fear, anger…they are all there and all evident to my eyes. "This is why you were up early isn't it?" He whispers, his response to the deluge of words which just spilled from my mouth shocks me.

I nod and a lone tear trickles down my cheek. Our locked stares are broken by the sound of his cellphone ringing. Without hesitation he swings his eyes from my to the where the ringing phone rests on the bar beside my purse.

"Grey," he almost snaps upon answering it. I watch as he listens intently to whatever the other person is saying; only nodding his head in response every now and then. "And you've filed the injunction?" This must be concerning Susannah. "Did you file one against Miss Wise as well? No? Are you absolutely positive? Very well, please contact Welch to bring him up to date as to how he should proceed with the investigation. I want the name of this man, the acquaintance of Mr. James Brooks who knew Susannah…ask Welch to do his homework on Miss Leila Williams as well, I have reason to believe she was acquainted with this same man…yes, email me the information."

I am wide-eyed with disbelief when Christian ends the phone call. When did he do all of this? "You've filed an injunction against Susannah? I thought she signed an affidavit?"

"Yes, well it's obvious now she violated it and I intend to squelch any further information she wished to share with anyone else. After you fell asleep last night I emailed my lawyer and Welch to bring them up to speed on the situation." His business-like tone changes subtly to one of concern as he strokes my face, "I told you Anastasia, I'm taking care of this. Please baby, don't let it consume you."

"Okay," I sniffle in a very unladylike manner, attempting to draw back my tears.

"Okay," he echoes my word and smiles a sad smile at me, brushing the few fallen tears with the pads of his thumbs.

As our lips draw closer to each other in anticipation of a kiss his phone sounds again, this time signaling a new email. He kisses me chastely before reaching for it and opening the email. A broad smile stretches across his face, causing a look of confusion to wash over mine.

"What is it?"

"Leslie."

"What?"

"Leslie, she's emailed me with an answer to my invitation. She and her husband will be coming for the holiday weekend." His voice is wistful, almost unbelieving.

"When will they be arriving?" I ask, my smile spreading as wide as his.

"Saturday afternoon, she says they can only stay through Sunday because she has to return for work on Monday, but they will be here." He answers me, reading through the email again, as if he's trying to convince himself that it's really happening.

"That's so wonderful, Christian." He sets the phone down on the counter top once again and wraps his arms around me.

"I love you." This time he presses his lips to mine and kisses me wholly. "Ana, I want you to know…the others never would have existed if I had known you were out there. You are my soul mate."

I nod my head, hearing his words and knowing they come from the depths of his soul. "I know."

"Do you Ana? Because I mean it, every single word, nothing before you matters. This apartment, our home, everything in them is ours. Nothing has been left scathed by the presence of the others. You and me Ana, that's all that matters. This is ours, it was never theirs." Lifting my left hand he places it against the warm skin of his chest, his dark dusting of hair tickling my palm. I can feel his heart beating beneath my palm and fingers. "This is yours, it was never theirs." He says, putting emphasis on the word, this.

Leaning forward I move my hand to the side and press a tender kiss against his skin directly over his heart. "Mine," I whisper.

"Yours," he whispers back.

"Make love to me, Christian." I pull back, looking deep into the unwavering depths of his smoldering gray eyes.

"Always, Mrs. Grey." He lifts me in his arms, letting the blanket drape from my body loosely until it falls to the floor. I release it willingly, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible.

Clasping me against his chest he walks into our bedroom.

"No playroom?" I thought after what we said that was where we were going.

"Not now. I want you in my bed, our bed…the bed where we first became one." My heart flutters and stammers at his words, threatening to burst from my chest at an expeditious pace. He lays me down amongst the pillows and sheets tossed haphazardly around the center of the large four poster bed before discarding his pajama pants and joining me. "What do you want Mrs. Grey?" Tracing a single index finger up from the tip of my big toe his touch travels up my left leg, making a perfect semicircle around my lower abdomen, avoiding my sex, before moving down my right leg and back up it.

"You," I whimper watching his finger with an intent gaze. Back at my lower abdomen he continues to sketch an imaginary line on my skin, tracing the scar from my cesarean, eliciting chills to break out all over my body. "Christian…"

"So beautiful…" He bends down and trails kisses on the pale pink band left behind from where our Teddy entered the world. Lifting his head he entrances my eyes with his again, his finger continuing its journey up my sternum, drifting across each breasts and nipple in turn. Finally he moves it up my neck and over my lips. "Touching you…feeling you…my Ana…" Our lips meld together, his coaxing mine apart to give his tongue free access of my mouth. Exploring, tasting, testing and teasing, driving me out of my mind. He swallows my moans and whimpers when his finger finds one of my nipples, this time joining with his thumb to tweak and squeeze it softly. My breasts swell as my nipples harden and peak under his touch. I feel myself building, deep inside of my core and I know I cannot hold on for long.

Between mingled breathes I mutter, "Christian…I'm going to come." He groans and shifts suddenly so that he is pressing ever so slightly to my wet entrance.

"When you come I'm going to push inside of you."

His words cause me to fall over the edge and I scream. "Ah! Christian!" My body is beginning to convulse and explode. Abruptly he thrusts his body inside of me, filling me to the hilt.

"Fuck, Ana. You're so tight." He growls burying his head at the crook of my neck. He pulls out and thrusts in again, deep. My arms and legs are quivering; I'm a mess, not knowing what to do with my laden limbs. "Hold on to me and let go baby." Wrapping my arms around his back and my legs around his waist I do just that, giving him full admittance and ownership of my body. With profound methodical thrusts he drives me higher and higher, pulling another orgasm from the depths of my body before plunging deep and filling me with himself. A low, sonorous groan escapes from between his lips, resonating in his chest. "Ana…oh…my Ana."


	54. Chapter 54

*This one's an extra for you all, today is Mr. and Mrs. Grey's 2nd Wedding Anniversary. It's especially for the two ladies who emailed and requested it though, Kelliruth70 and Bostonstrong.

I love you all! I hope you enjoy!**

**_Tuesday, July 30, 2013_**

**_Mr. and Mrs. Grey's 2_****_nd_****_ Wedding Anniversary_**

**_ Pristine clear water displaying _**_an astounding hue of aquamarine blue stretches as far as my eyes can see. Closing the book in my hands I set it rest on my lap, having lost interest in the story at hand. I cannot rival the vision before me. Splashing ankle deep in the gentle waves lapping at the ocean shore are my husband and baby boy. As far as my eyes can see we are the only ones on our private piece of heaven. _

_"Wa wa Dada!" Ted squeals with delight kicking his little foot with all of his might through the water. He bends down and retrieves a handful of sugar white sand, letting it run through his chubby fingers before clapping the excess off with his other hand. Looking at his hands curiously he sees that they are now both soiled with sand. He holds them up in dismay to show Christian the wet sand clinging to his skin. His little brow is furrowed in vexation._

_"Bend down and wash them in the ocean, son." Christian, dressed in navy swim trunks, bends over to show Teddy how to wash the sand from his hands. Mimicking his father's actions Ted bends over and begins moving his hands to and fro in the water. Christian is the first one to lift his hands from the water. "See Teddy? All clean." He shows his sand-free hands to Ted, urging him to now look at his own hands. _

_Immediately Teddy does so and exclaims, "yay," clapping his clean hands together in celebration. _

_The late afternoon sun dancing through the palm trees glistens over Christian's hair, illuminating the copper highlights of his tousled waves. The same copper color shines in Ted's curls which are peeking out from under the edges of his white sun hat. I smile at the beauty of them together and giggle at their innocent game of discovery. Swishing their feet through the water they continue to walk hand in hand, journeying a short distance down the beach before stopping. I observe Christian reaching down to pick something up, then handing it to Ted and whispering something in his ear. Ted looks in my direction, a huge grin breaking out across his face._

_"Mama!" He calls my name and breaks out in a full on run in my direction. His little legs carry him as fast as they can, his arms pumping at his sides as if they might help propel him to run faster. _

_I swing my legs to the side of the wooden lounge chair I am sitting on, letting my bare feet rest in the warm sand. "Come here baby boy!" I call with my arms spread wide for him. He throws himself into my arms, eager to show me the large conch shell he is holding in his hands. "What do you have there Teddy? Is that a seashell? It's so pretty, look at the pink and white and brown, it's rough on the outside and smooth on the inside. Listen to it Ted, you can hear the ocean." I hold the shell gently to his ear. His little lips pursed in a perfect 'o' he listens intently, his gray eyes wide with curiosity. _

_"Mama," he says, taking the shell and holding it to my ear, giving me a turn to hear the ocean as well._

_"I hear it too baby boy." _

_"Dada," he takes the shell from my ear and gives Christian, who is now kneeling down beside him, a turn._

_"That's the ocean isn't it son? You can always hear the ocean when you listen to a seashell." Flashing me his breathtaking mega-watt smile Christian lifts my hand from where it is resting on my knee, kissing my wedding rings, "happy second anniversary Mrs. Grey." He looks up at me through his incredibly dark and long lashes._

_"Oh, Christian, you've said that about twenty times today and its only noon." _

_"And I'll say it twenty more times before the sun sets." I lean down, placing my hand on the side of his face and kiss him tenderly. The past few days in Bora Bora have left his skin sun kissed, deepening the gray in his eyes and brightening the copper in his hair. I know I'm a bit darker than I was when we arrived but the sun looks splendid on Christian. _

_ Ted has plopped down on the sand beside my lounge and is keenly exploring every aspect of his new treasure. I watch him yawn and know it is his naptime. _

_"Are you tired baby boy?" I scoop him up in my arms, planting a kiss on each of his blushed cheeks. _

_"Mama, mmmmmm." He yawns again, patting his little hand against my chests. His nibble, chubby fingers tug at the sunshine yellow ruffles of my strapless maxi. _

_"Come, Mama will nurse you in the house." He scoots down from my lap and grabs Christian's hand before giving me his free hand. Together the three of us walk back to the house._

_**Ted's baby gray eyes **__finally close, the warm breeze ruffling his hair as it floats through the expansive open doors and windows. His body relaxes against mine signaling that he has fallen asleep. With precise delicate movements I lay him down in the center of our bed, securing pillows around his body to keep him from turning. _

_"Sleep tight," I whisper and kiss his cheek, "my little sun kissed brown Teddy bear." _

_Padding my feet quietly over the shiny natural wood floor I step out onto the sunbathed deck to find Christian. He is swimming laps in the large rectangular shaped pool, unaware of my presence. Feeling brazen and knowing there is no one but us for miles I slip out of my maxi bandeau dress, letting it fall to the floor of the deck before untying my white bikini top and stepping out of the matching bottoms. _

_ I hold my breath and jump into the pool, the warm water welcoming me, surrounding my body. When I resurface Christian has stopped swimming and is watching me. Casually I swim over to him and lock my legs around his waist._

_"Skinny dipping Mrs. Grey?" He raises an incredulous eyebrow at me in mock admonishment. _

_"Hmmm…yes, and you're going to join me."_

_"I am?"_

_"Oh yes," without warning I unwrap my legs and shimmy down his body, underwater. With his help I remove his trunks quickly and place a soft kiss against his tip before resurfacing. His gray eyes are shining like silver molten rock when I do. _

_"What got into you?"_

_"Nothing yet," I stroke him with my hands, urging his body towards mine. "We've only got as long as Ted naps."_

_"Well then, we'd better get started." _

_Pulling my hair aside with one hand he begins to kiss my shoulder blade, moving up to suck and nip at my neck. I tilt my head to the side, allowing him better access. His hands move up my back, kneading my skin, urging me closer to him. I wrap my legs around his waist once more and grasp his biceps in my hands. The water droplets glisten on his tanned skin, begging me to lick them off one by one. So I do, I want to taste him while he tastes me. I'm so caught up in the passion erupting from within me that I don't notice Christian floating us across the pool until my back is resting against the wall of the pool. To my left I can see our bedroom, the doorway, quadruple the size of a typical doorway, is framed by billowing white sheer curtains. To my right is the Pacific Ocean, shimmering like a blue beryl gemstone. _

_"Happy anniversary Mrs. Grey," he whispers against my lips, before running his tongue along them. I take his mouth with mine; he tastes like saltwater, sun, sand and Christian, a delicious combination._

_I tangle my hand in his wet locks and squeeze his body with my legs, urging him closer to me. I want him inside of me. Taking my cue he moves subtly, sinking deep inside of my body. We both swallow one another's moans of pure ecstasy. He holds me like this for what seems like an eternity. Not moving, only being inside of me,relishing in our connection of being one. _

_"Happy anniversary Mr. Grey," I whisper back in answer. He groans and begins to move, long, methodic strokes, driving me into a euphoric bliss. There is only him and me in this beautiful paradise, surrounded by love. _


	55. Chapter 55

**_Ladies, I am so sorry this one took so long and it is not nearly as long of a chapter as I would like for it to be but I wanted to give you something. Please bear with me over the next few weeks as I may be slower posting than usual. I am writing every day but do not have as much time to do so because I am a teacher and am getting ready for back to school. I have inservice every day this week and then school starts next week. I'm sure you all know how hectic that can all be. Please know that I am writing every day and reading all of your wonderful reviews, you all mean so much to me. Thank you for reading!_**

**Treasured and cherished are **the first two words which spring to my mind as I begin to find my way out of the fog caused by my post-orgasmic-bliss. After making love twice this morning we are lying in a mess of tangled sheets and blankets. Our bodies entwined and coated in a thin sheen of sweat. Brushing my fingers through the smidgen of dark hair coating his chest I allow myself to smile. Yes, treasured and cherished, those are two things I most definitely am. Treasured and cherished by the man I love...my man.

"Happy Mrs. Grey?" Interrupting my silent reverie Christian's voice reverberates against my ear.

I shift my head to kiss each of his firm nipples. "So happy." He runs a hand through my hair, causing me to smile against his skin.

I feel his muscles budge slightly as he turns his head. "It's nearly lunchtime. We should shower and dress."

I groan and prop myself up on one elbow. "I wish we could stay like this all day."

Christian reaches up to push aside my veil of chestnut hair. "I'm sure our son misses us."

"And I miss him." I smile again thinking about picking our Ted up from Kate and Elliot.

"Come, shower time." He sits up and I move aside, swinging my feet to the floor and heading toward the bathroom. I feel a playful stinging smack on my behind which causes me to yelp with surprise.

"Move quicker Mrs. Grey and I may prevail on that delectable derrière one more time before we leave."

**Plastered against the cool **tiles of the shower my hands are shaking from the intensity of my impending orgasm. Streams of water shower down while steam billows around us. Christian's fingers dig into the skin at my hips as he pounds his body into mine, setting a merciless pace.

"Fuck me harder Christian, please!" I want more, I crave more. When it comes to him I am insatiable. I will never have enough of his body being inside of mine. With an answering groan he pounds harder. Pulling my body back farther, delving deeper.

"You. Are. So. Soft. And. Sweet." He chants at my ear, before nipping across my shoulder blade and coming back again. His tongue laves the drops of water from my skin. I can feel his wet, heated skin pressing against my back. "So tight Mrs. Grey, come around my body."

"Ah! Christian!" I scream and let go again, for the third time this morning.

"Fuck baby," he growls, signaling his own release. Arching my body back I take all he has to give, reveling in our moment of passion.

My breathing begins to resume a normal pace as I come back down to planet earth. I am aware of the feeling of Christian's strong hands massaging jasmine scented soap over my back, my behind and down my legs. Removing my hands from where they are flat against the tile I shake feeling back into my arms, stiff from being stretched out to hold my body up.

"Put your arms over my head," he commands. His hands are now moving up the front of my body. Stopping to wash the delicate skin between my legs, I shudder from sensitivity. "Are you sore Mrs. Grey?"

Lifting my arms over his head I let my fingers rest among his wet locks. "No, just sensitive." My voice quivers the words out.

Rubbing large circles he washes my stomach then cups my breasts, cleansing them as well. My body reacts to his supple ministrations coupled with the warm water causing milk to spill in thin thread like streams down my front. "Would you like me to nurse your breasts?" He asks softly.

"Please," I whimper. Turning me around to face him he leans his head down, bringing his mouth where I need it to be, he complies with my wishes.

**We are finally dressed **and ready to leave Escala to pick Ted up from Kate and Elliot. Lunchtime has passed, leaving me hungry.

"Shall we have lunch on the way home?" The lights on the R8 blink and the car beeps as Christian unlocks the doors. My Saab is waiting for us at Kate and Elliot's where we left it last night. Ryan will be along to recollect Christian's R8 and return it home.

"Sounds great," I grin at him climbing in the R8. The smile of a satisfied woman has been gracing my face for hours now, much more preferable to the ominous feelings of dread which have been plaguing me. I've decided to put my trust in Christian; I know he will deal with the situation at hand in an efficient and timely manner. Pulling out of the garage we head to pick Ted up. I am eager to see him and spend the remainder of my day with my little family unit.

Kate opens the door holding my grinning baby boy in her arms. He immediately squeals, reaching out for me. Laughing at his elation I bounce him up and down, repeatedly kissing his cheeks. He looks beyond my shoulder and lunges his body back with every ounce of strength he can muster, squealing and jabbering when he notices Christian.

"Go get Daddy, Ted." I tell him, relinquishing my hold on him. There is no use in fighting his desire to be held by his father. Christian holds him securely while bring him up above his head and lowering him back down to blow raspberries on his tummy. Teddy shrieks in delight.

"How did the rest of the night go?" I ask Kate, taking a seat on the couch beside Christian and Ted. They are both caught up in their own world at the moment, a world where only the two of them exist.

"Very well," she beams at the spectacle of father and son playing. "Uncle Elliot changed all of the dirty diapers."

"And they were not pleasant." Elliot emerges from the back of the apartment, looking rather tired.

"Did you exhaust your Uncle Elliot?" Christian asks our son, bouncing him up and down on his knee. Ted appears to almost grin knowingly in response.

"Exhaust as in tired or exhaust as in what came out the back end?" We all chuckle.

"You're exaggerating honey, it wasn't that bad." Kate chides him.

"Pffft…speak for yourself Auntie Kate; you weren't the one at the helm of the diaper changing experience." Elliot comes to sit on the floor near Kate's feet, placing a hand on top of her knee. "Really though, we loved having him here. Thank you for allowing us to keep him." A warm smile spreads across his face. His heartfelt words surprise me, but then I've always been able to see the love he has for his nephew.

"And you were a wonderful help with him." My best friend smiles down at her husband, adoration in her eyes. I can see the wheels turning in her mind. Kate is getting baby fever, bad.

Elliot clears his throat, obviously catching on to the not so subtle hints his wife is throwing his way. I empathize with her though. Seeing your husband with a baby can definitely make your maternal instincts kick in high gear, especially when it is your baby. We all sit reflectively for a few moments. Watching Ted interact with Christian and laughing at his antics while he tries to grab his daddy's nose, eyes and mouth. When he reaches for Christian's mouth he erupts in giggles when Christian pretends to eat his chubby little fingers. Making munching and 'yum yum' sounds the entire time he provokes streams of never ending laughs from deep within Teddy's belly.

Kate and I leave the boys playing on the living room floor and go to the kitchen where we begin collecting Ted's things and packing his bag. She opens the fridge and hands me his extra bottles of milk along with his leftover baby food.

"How did you two's evening go?" She asks, packing the bottles away in the diaper bag setting on the kitchen counter.

"Nicely, the benefit was gorgeous. Mia's wedding is going to be beautiful there. The food was delicious and I must admit the champagne was as well." I'm busy folding bibs and burp cloths as I speak.

"Champagne, huh? I guess you didn't save that milk for Ted?" She smirks knowingly at me and I blush scarlet.

"Kate!"

"I'm not going any further with it, don't worry. Details I do not need." She puts emphasis on the word, 'not'. I can't help but giggling though, Kate is very aware of what conspired between Christian and I. "You're a lucky girl, Ana. I think the whole 'breastfeeding' thing kind of weirds Elliot out."

"It does?"

She rolls her eyes and laughs, "he wouldn't even heat up the bottles because he knew it wasn't formula."

"That's ridiculous." I laugh at Elliot's odd behavior. "He'd better get used to it if he wants to be a father someday."

"Oh, I think he will. He just doesn't want to share right now, if you know what I mean." She winks and zips up the compartment of the bag holding the bottles.

"I do."

"Are you ready to go Mommy?" Christian enters the room with Ted in his arms. He is beginning to rub his little eyes and yawn.

"When was the last time he had a bottle Kate?"

"Just before you two came, so not long ago." She says, looking over at the clock above the stove.

"He should be good until we get home then." I reach in his bag and retrieve one of his pacy's. He takes it in his tiny fist and shoves it in his mouth.

"Here baby, its cold out. Let's cover him." I take the blanket from Christian and with his help cover Ted against me. "He'll be out in no time now, we should get going." Christian slings the diaper bag over his shoulder and guides me out the door with his hand at the small of my back.

"Thank you again for keeping him." I smile at Kate and Elliot who have followed us to the front door.

"We will see you in a few days for Thanksgiving Ted." Kate leans down and kisses his little cheek.

"See you in a few days champ." Elliot pretends to knuckle with Ted's fist. Teddy gives him a lazy smile in response.

We bid a few more goodbyes and then leave, walking down the sidewalk to our waiting car. I hold Ted close to my chest, with his blanket shielding him from the wind until Christian takes him and buckles him in his carrier. Quickly I open my door and climb inside.

"Home Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks once he is in the car.

"Home." I smile back at him.


	56. Chapter 56

**Today was the first day of school so I hope to be back to writing at a regular pace. I'm including a snippet of last chapter incase you all need a little memory jog of where we were since its been about a week since my last chapter was posted. Remember Christian and Ana just picked Ted up from Kate and Elliot where he had spent the night due to them being at the charity dinner and Escala. I hope you all enjoy this sweet chapter.**

Kate and I leave the boys playing on the living room floor and go to the kitchen where we begin collecting Ted's things and packing his bag. She opens the fridge and hands me his extra bottles of milk along with his leftover baby food.

"How did you two's evening go?" She asks, packing the bottles away in the diaper bag setting on the kitchen counter.

"Nicely, the benefit was gorgeous. Mia's wedding is going to be beautiful there. The food was delicious and I must admit the champagne was as well." I'm busy folding bibs and burp cloths as I speak.

"Champagne, huh? I guess you didn't save that milk for Ted?" She smirks knowingly at me and I blush scarlet.

"Kate!"

"I'm not going any further with it, don't worry. Details I do not need." She puts emphasis on the word, 'not'. I can't help but giggling though, Kate is very aware of what conspired between Christian and I. "You're a lucky girl, Ana. I think the whole 'breastfeeding' thing kind of weirds Elliot out."

"It does?"

She rolls her eyes and laughs, "he wouldn't even heat up the bottles because he knew it wasn't formula."

"That's ridiculous." I laugh at Elliot's odd behavior. "He'd better get used to it if he wants to be a father someday."

"Oh, I think he will. He just doesn't want to share right now, if you know what I mean." She winks and zips up the compartment of the bag holding the bottles.

"I do."

"Are you ready to go Mommy?" Christian enters the room with Ted in his arms. He is beginning to rub his little eyes and yawn.

"When was the last time he had a bottle Kate?"

"Just before you two came, so not long ago." She says, looking over at the clock above the stove.

"He should be good until we get home then." I reach in his bag and retrieve one of his pacy's. He takes it in his tiny fist and shoves it in his mouth.

"Here baby, its cold out. Let's cover him." I take the blanket from Christian and with his help cover Ted against me. "He'll be out in no time now, we should get going." Christian slings the diaper bag over his shoulder and guides me out the door with his hand at the small of my back.

"Thank you again for keeping him." I smile at Kate and Elliot who have followed us to the front door.

"We will see you in a few days for Thanksgiving Ted." Kate leans down and kisses his little cheek.

"See you in a few days champ." Elliot pretends to knuckle with Ted's fist. Teddy gives him a lazy smile in response.

We bid a few more goodbyes and then leave, walking down the sidewalk to our waiting car. I hold Ted close to my chest, with his blanket shielding him from the wind until Christian takes him and buckles him in his carrier. Quickly I open my door and climb inside.

"Home Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks once he is in the car.

"Home." I smile back at him.

**Thank heavens for teething **tablets. Teddy's fussy cries of discomfort due to the tooth which refuses to break through the surface of his gums sound down the hall. The wood floors cause them to echo to even louder decibels. I search through the medicine cabinet in his bathroom and hastily dash to his room where he has awakened from his nap, again. I hope he wasn't this distraught for Kate and Elliot last night. He has been less than content since shortly after we arrived home and his discontent has continued on into the late evening hours.

"Come on sweet boy," I lift him from his crib. His little face resembles a plump tomato, red from his crying. Laying him down on his changing table I slide one of my index fingers into his mouth, massaging the tablet against his swollen gums. Graciously he allows me to rub the dissolving tablet into his mouth. "Is that better Ted?" Brushing my other hand over his forehead I startle, he feels warm. Ted has never run a fever before. With the white tablet gone I lift him and kiss his forehead, he is most definitely warmer than usual.

Christian comes through the doorway of the nursery. "Baby, I heard him crying from my study." He crosses the room quickly and is by our side in seconds. Reflexively he brushes his hand across Ted's forehead as well. "Ana, he's burning up."

"I know, I just felt him. Should I give him something?"

Christian already has his blackberry out of his pocket and is dialing it. Grace, he's calling Grace. Meanwhile I reach for the thermometer in the basket above his changing table. Speaking softly to him I insert it in his ear with him propped in my arms. The thermometer beeps almost instantly, reading 100.5, most definitely a fever.

"Tylenol, Mom? How much should the dosage be?" Christian leaves the room, the phone still at his ear and returns with a bottle of medicine. "Did you give him one of the tablets?" He asks, directing his attention to me.

"I did."

"She did Mom. What was his temperature Ana?" I tell him what the thermometer read and he relays the information to Grace, hanging up shortly after.

"What did she say?"

"It's more than likely just a fever due to his teething, but this will help make him more comfortable." Still holding Ted in my arms I watch as Christian fills the small dropper until it holds precisely the right amount of medication. When offered the dropper at his lips Ted takes the medicine right down. "A bath may help him too. I'll go run one."

"We'll be right in." Locking eyes with me before leaving to start Ted's bath Christian smiles, but I can see the anxious expression behind it. He cups my cheek, pecking my lips softly with his. "We make a good team Daddy; he's going to be just fine." Our baby struggles against me, still weepy.

"I feel helpless when he doesn't feel well."

"You did everything right. Go on, start his bath. I'll undress him and follow you." I encourage him, but know exactly how he feels. Ted depends on us to take care of his every need and I never want to be less than perfect for him.

**Wrapped in a soft **blanket Ted nurses his pacifier, snug in Christian's arms. His little belly is full of milk and the pain relief from the tablets and Tylenol has finally found him. Every once in a while his body shudders from his earlier crying when he sighs in his sleep. Glancing up from my iPad where I am reading I see Ted's fingers tightly grasping his father's index finger. The dancing flames from the fireplace paint their faces in a rich auburn glow. Bouncing Ted up and down gently Christian hums a tune I do not know to our son, continuing on even though the baby in his arms is already dreaming.

"I think he's finally asleep." Christian yawns, breaking his euphonious repetition.

Turning off the device in my hands I let it rest in my lap. "He was so tired." I yawn as I finish the sentence.

Christian laughs softly, "Apparently he wasn't the only one." Leaning down he places Ted in his swing sitting on the floor near his feet. Never opening his eyes Ted continues to dream peacefully. With watchful eyes I absorb the tender moment between father and son. Even though he doubts himself too often Christian always knows exactly what Ted needs. In the moment he acts as though he has always had a child, it's as if taking care of his son is the most natural thing in the world to him.

Moving with graceful ease he comes to sit on the sofa with me and encourages me to lie back with him. I snuggle my cheek against his chest and watch the flickering flames in front of me dance. Pops cause sparks to float into the air above the fire every now and then. The crackling sounds and warmth emanating around us like a cozy blanket. Christian brings his leg up from the edge of the couch to wrap it among both of mine, cradling me in his lengthy frame.

"Comfortable Mrs. Grey?" I feel his smile against the top of my head.

"More than you will ever know Mr. Grey." Aimlessly I let my fingers graze over his arms which are holding me securely against his body. "I was worried about Ted today." I admit my inner thoughts out loud. "He's always such a happy baby. I don't think he's been this distraught since we had thrush when he was about six weeks old." I always find myself trying to be brave and put together for Christian, reminding myself that I cannot panic.

"Ana, there will be many more fevers to come. It's only natural to worry I think." I know he's speaking to himself as much as he is to me. "I'm sure our parents worried about us the same as we do about our son."

"I suppose you're right." I press my lips against the soft cotton of his white t-shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric. "His gums were quite swollen today. Maybe that stubborn tooth will finally break through sooner rather than later."

**Dawn greets us with **the promise of a new day, a day closer to the arrival of Ray and Lynn. _Daddy! _I could almost squeal with excitement at the prospect of seeing him. It's only been a few months but I can't help myself. Gurgles and coos sound from the baby monitor beside my bed. Quickly I slip from bed, careful not to wake Christian. He is still asleep. We stayed up late into the night wrapped in each other's arms talking in front of the fireplace while our son slept in his swing nearby.

Standing on his knees peering through the wooden slats of his crib Teddy gives me his most breathtaking grin upon seeing me enter his room.

"What are you doing big boy?" I reflect his joyous expression. This is the first time he has ever been waiting for me in this position. Picking him up I note that his fever is gone and a new tiny white tooth has emerged on the bottom, directly under his two top teeth. "There's that tooth Ted." I touch the sharp pearly white bud with my finger. "Come, let's go show Daddy your new tooth." I am thrilled beyond belief that the new tooth has finally made its appearance. Another milestone passed.

My cell phone chimes several times from where I left it in my study, indicating an incoming call. Let my voicemail get it. If it is important they will call back. Now I only want to show my husband our son's new baby tooth.

Climbing in bed with Christian I position Ted between us. Before I am able to coax Christian into wakefulness Ted reaches his hand out and pinches his daddy's nose. I cannot help but giggle. Christian scrunches up his face; apparently this encourages Ted to repeat his little antic again. His baby belly bobbles due to his laughter, he is very proud of the wakeup call he has provided his father with.

"Careful with Daddy, Ted, touch his face nicely." I encourage our son, still trying to contain my snickers. Reaching out I caress Christian's sleeping face gently, mimicking my actions Ted does the same. "See? Gentle Teddy." Christian's beautiful lips spread into a sleepy smile. I know he's awake. "Good morning Daddy." I lean forward and kiss his cheek. Ted leans forward with his mouth open to 'kiss' Christian good morning as well, leaving a large spot of drool in his wake.

Gray eyes shining with merriment open to gaze upon the scene before them. "Good morning Mommy. Good morning Teddy." Ted grins his greeting and 'kisses' his daddy's cheek once more. "I love Teddy and Mommy kisses." He says lifting Ted's chubby hand and pressing it to his lips.

"Teddy has something to show you, Daddy." I point to the new white tooth in the bottom of Ted's mouth. "His new tooth broke through last night."

Christian sits up and takes our baby boy into his arms, drawing him closer for further inspection. "Look at that beautiful new tooth Ted, show me your smile." Wiggling his long fingers around Teddy's torso and under his arms he elicits a never ending string of chortles and beaming smiles from his son. "How long have you two been awake?" He asks when their tickle time is over.

"Not long."

"How does Sunday morning breakfast in bed sound Mrs. Grey?" How can I resist his million dollar smile and tousled bed head.


	57. Chapter 57

_Love reading all of your reviews. I do my best to respond to as many as possible. Thank you all for reading! :)_

Having forgotten about the missed call on my blackberry earlier this morning I jump with a startle when I hear it ringing again. I leave Christian and Ted on the floor in our bedroom where we are spending our day still dressed in our pajamas, reading and playing multiple games of peekaboo, and go to my study to retrieve my phone. I catch the call on the last ring and answer, it's my mom.

"Hi Mom," I greet her, catching my breath from my near sprint down the hall.

"Hi baby girl!" She says enthusiastically, almost too enthusiastically. "I called earlier and left a message."

"I know Mom. I heard the phone ringing but was busy with Ted. He cut a new tooth last night, one that he'd been working on for a few days."

"That's wonderful; I hope he didn't give him too much trouble. Anyhow, I was actually calling about the upcoming holiday. It looks like Bob and I are going to be able to escape from here a few days earlier than originally planned, so we'll be arriving on Tuesday."

My attempts to get a word in edge wise are in vain. She's talking so fast, not allowing me to say anything. A twinge in my gut tells me she has decided to come early to head off Ray's arrival with his girlfriend. I don't dare say anything about my suspicions as I know it will only start an argument followed by many explanations of denial. It's just not worth my time. When my mother sets her mind to something she carries through with it, no matter what her intentions are and this time I know they are of a pure heart.

"I hope that doesn't present any problems for you. If our arriving two days early is a problem your stepfather and I can stay at a hotel."

And here comes the guilt. She knows that I know what her game is, even though she will never admit to it.

"No Mom, it's not a problem at all. You know Christian and I have plenty of room here for you and Bob to stay with us." An idea strikes me. "If you two would feel more comfortable staying at Escala you could do that as well, but it is completely up to you." _Please say you'll stay at Escala, please say you'll stay at Escala_…I pray inwardly. My subconscious sneers at me, _putting your mother out, tut…tut..tut. Oh, shut it_, I tell her. She knows exactly what Carla Adams is up to and if she were in my shoes she would do the same thing.

"We could…" she begins. "But I'd much rather stay with you and Christian. It's been so long since I've seen you baby girl and my darling grandson. I would really like to be with you both."

Even though we are on the phone I plaster a smile across my face. "Of course Mom and we would love to have you." Darn it! How in the world is this going to go and what exactly is her game? "What time will you and Bob be arriving on Tuesday?"

"Late afternoon, early evening…Oh darling, this is going to be such fun! Well, I must get going. I cannot wait to see you all Tuesday, bye now." She's all smiles and happiness. Of course she is. She just got her way and plans to throw a few wrenches into my time with Ray and Lynn.

I hold the blackberry away from my ear and mutter to myself, "bye Mom," before hitting the 'end' button, shaking my head the whole time. If being railroaded by Christian Grey is like getting run over by a locomotive then my mother is a steam engine.

Christian and Teddy are in the kitchen making quite the mess of lunch when I find them after my abruptly ended phone call with my mother. I stop with a short step when I enter the doorway. Ted is in his hair chair with green peas up to his elbows and covering his cutely grinning little face, he very much resembles what I imagine swamp thing would look like. I'm not sure which one of them is wearing more peas though, Christian or Ted.

"Hi Mommy," Christian looks up from the green pea slaughter to flash me a smile that meets his eyes.

"What are you boys doing?"

"Having lunch."

"Looks to me like you both are wearing lunch instead of eating it."

"Let's say it's a little bit of both." He offers the grinning boy in front of him another spoonful of pea mush. Teddy dips his finger in the peas before bringing it to his mouth for a taste. "He likes to sample the bite first Mommy."

"Yes, I see." I nod with a mock serious tone in my voice. "You both are complete messes in every way." I sit down beside Christian while he continues to feed our messy son.

"That was my Mom on the phone," I begin, none too eager to relieve the recent phone conversation. "She and Bob will be coming in Tuesday instead of Thursday. She said Bob was able to get away from work a few days early and she is looking forward to spending extra time with Ted and I."

"And?" He prompts me to continue with my thought.

"And, what?"

"Ana, you can't fool me. I know you're mulling something over in that pretty little head of yours. Out with it, what are you thinking?"

"Oh, Christian…you know what I'm thinking and I'm sure you're thinking it too. Isn't it obvious? She's coming early to head off Ray because he's bringing his girlfriend." I sigh, nearly exasperated. Not with him, but at the entire situation my mother is conjuring up.

"It's not obvious to me that those are her intentions but it is obvious to me that is what you are thinking they are."

I raise an eyebrow at him, shooting him a dubious glare. "Really? The thought never crossed your mind that her motive might be less than…friendly shall we say?"

He sets down the light blue baby spoon and turns to face me completely, taking my hands in his; he gives me his full attention. "Give your mom the benefit of a doubt baby. While I admit there is a decent chance you may be correct in your speculations there is also a chance you may be jumping to conclusions. Try not to go into this holiday with assumptions. Just enjoy the moment and take whatever comes as it comes."

Such wise words from the one and only Christian Grey, I nod my head letting out a huge breath. "Okay, I'll try." I release the tension in my shoulders, feeling my whole body relax at his words of reason.

"That's my girl." He leans forward to kiss my lips softly. "It will be a wonderful holiday with our families, just wait and see."

I wish I could be as optimistic as Christian. Maybe if I meet the situation with optimism I will be rewarded with such. One can only hope when it comes to Carla Adams. After giving me one more light peck on the lips Christian turns back around to face Ted only to be smacked in the eye with a spoonful of green peas. I burst out with a belly shaking guffaw of laughter, unable to control myself. Ted sits grinning wildly, obviously very proud of his perfect aim.

"You should never have given him the spoon with the bowl on his tray." I say in between chuckles.

Picking up the kitchen towel resting near him on the kitchen table Christian wipes the green mush from his face. "He assaulted me with peas Ana. I cannot believe you are laughing."

His comment causes me to burst out laughing even harder. "I'm sorry Christian." I say, finally trying to stifle my giggles. "Teddy, do not throw peas at Daddy's face. It's not nice." I take the spoon from Ted's hand and place it on the table. "You go clean up Daddy. I'll take care of our little pea slugger and nurse him before his nap."

"Thank you." He says still wiping his face.

We both stand, me to unstrap Ted and him to go upstairs and clean up. I can't resist kissing his lips and licking off the tiny bit of peas splattered on them. "Mmmmmm…you taste good. Just like sweet peas."

He swats my behind playfully with the towel still in his hands. "I'll get you later Mommy."

"Sounds delicious Daddy, but not as delicious as you currently are." I'm still laughing to myself as he leaves the room and I begin to wipe down my little assailant.

Freshly showered and dressed Christian emerges from the bathroom, dressed in only a t shirt and jeans, no socks, to find Ted and I snuggled on the bed together. Although he is nearly asleep Ted stops nursing long enough to grin at his daddy, almost as if he is teasing him and remembers his earlier green pea attack. Tucking one leg underneath him Christian comes to sit beside us on the bed.

"You smell good," I remark as he nuzzles my neck. He smells of my favorite body wash and of course, Christian. "I don't want you to ever stop using that body wash."

"You like Mrs. Grey?"

"I love Mr. Grey. It's one of the first things I noticed about you."

"The way I smelled?" He pulls back to look into my eyes, one eyebrow raised in skepticism.

"Yes, fresh linen, body wash, and Christian…they quickly became my favorite scent combination. I always drink in your unique scent whenever you are close to me."

"Sounds like an aphrodisiac of sorts, Mrs. Grey." He murmurs his voice deep and enticing. With one hand he sweeps my hair away from my neck and begins trailing his lips down my skin to my shoulder.

"Quite." I whisper, tilting my head to the side, giving him easier access to the tender skin behind my ear. His warm lips cause a shiver to breakout all over my body. I feel Ted's suckling motion slacken. "He's asleep."

Christian places one more kiss on my shoulder before gathering Ted from my arms. Our active little boy, now tuckered out from his morning of play, snuggles against the white cotton of his father's shirt to sleep. Christian brings him up in his arms so that he can kiss his forehead. Soft copper locks meet his lips and a contented sigh escapes our son's lips in the form of a yawn.

"Are you going to put him in his crib?" I ask breaking the gaze of adoration Christian is bestowing upon the bundle in his arms.

"Yes, I'll be right back." He stands and leaves the room, still placing intermittent kisses on Ted's cheeks and head.

After cleaning myself up and pulling my hair back into a tie I take my book from the bedside table and prop a few pillows behind my back, ready to spend some time in bed reading. The cold dreary November day encourages laziness. I smile to myself thinking about our morning spent together. Lounging in our pajamas until long after breakfast, our only task at hand was being together and playing with our baby. I cannot imagine a more perfect Sunday. With my book resting on my chest open, but still unread past the point where I last closed it I watch the rain droplets coursing down the window. They remind me of tiny streams, each going its own way, forging its own path. One never follows the other. The peaceful scene before me is hypnotic and my eyes begin to grow heavy.

I hear Christian's phone ringing somewhere in the house, waking me from my all too brief doze and unwillingly lay my book down so that I can go find it. Before I am out of the bed I hear his voice answering it. It must have been in his pocket as it sounds as though he is in the hall. Listening intently I strain my ears to hear what he is saying, only able to make out a few words. I deduce the call must be from Welch. It ends soon though before I hear anything else key. Christian walks in the room a few seconds later and comes to sit beside me, propping pillows behind his back he leans against them like I am doing.

"That was Welch," he answers my unanswered question. "Richardson has served Susannah with the injunction. A restraining order has been filed against Ms. Wise, she should no longer contact my family in any form, be it in person, by phone or by email. Welch also did his homework learn about Susannah's past relationships as well as Leila's. They have both been connected to a Mr. Joel Wright."

"Do we know the nature of their relationship with him?" I ask, already knowing what the answer most likely is.

"Not yet, I suggested to him what the nature may have been and he is looking into it."

"They may have signed and NDA for this Mr. Wright"

"More than likely, but if Susannah did not honor the one she signed for me…"

"Then she probably did not honor the one she signed for him." I finish his sentence.

"Precisely."

"What about Leila? Do you think she violated the NDA?"

He shakes his head at me, looking into my eyes earnestly. "No," he answers without a trace of doubt in his voice. "There is too much at stake for her, she wouldn't risk it. She wasn't a stupid girl. She knows if she violates the NDA I had her sign that she has too much to lose."

"What about one she may have signed if she was involved with this Wright guy?"

"Perhaps, I don't think it's probable though."

I want to say more but what else is there to say? I have to trust Christian's gut instincts on this. He knew her better than I did. The thought makes me shudder. I don't want to think about it. I look over from where I am now staring at my hands, my fingers knotted on top of my book as it rests in my lap. He's watching me intently. He reaches over and lifts the book from my lap.

"What are you reading?" He asks, lifting it into his hands.

"Frenchman's Creek."

"Do you mind if I read it aloud to you?" His long fingers turn the pages until he comes to my book mark.

"I'd love it." I snuggle down against his chest and let my ear rest against the soft material covering his warm, vibrant skin.

I feel his chest rumble as he clears his throat and begins to read, "... and through it all and afterwards they would be together, making their own world where nothing mattered but the things they could give to one another, the loveliness, the silence, and the peace."

Closing my eyes I allow my ears to absorb his words and the deep methodical flow of his voice as he reads to me the story of a young English woman who finds love in the heart of a French pirate.


	58. Chapter 58

** Blinking my eyes open** I realize I've fallen asleep. My cheek is pressed against Christian's chest and I feel his hand rubbing circles on my back, telling me he is still awake, no doubt watching me sleep. I lift my head and rub my cheek which I am sure is red.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," I murmur around a yawn, feeling bad for falling asleep while Christian was reading to me. I notice my book is lying on his chest, open and face down marking the place where he was when I drifted off.

"Why? You were tired, I didn't mind. I love watching you sleep." Noticing the goose bumps that have broken out along my arms he reaches down near our feet and pulls the entanglement of sheets and blankets up over our bodies. "Better?"

"Much," I snuggle back up against him, unable to wipe the smile from my face. "How long was I sleeping?"

"Only about an hour," he answers running one hand along my arm in an effort to warm my chill.

"I didn't realize I was tired." I cover a yawn.

"You obviously needed the sleep." He kisses my head and wraps his legs with mine.

The quiet monitor tells me our little man is still somewhere off in dreamland, giving his mommy and daddy time to their selves. Wrapped in the arms of my husband I cannot help but feel the familiar feeling of warmth pooling deep in my belly and spreading out through my body. In a bold move I let my hand slide down Christian's torso from where it had been resting on his chest. I feel each sculpted muscle of his abdomen, soaking in the hard chiseled form.

"Mrs. Grey, what are you up to?" He teases when my fingers unsnap his jeans before rubbing his erection through the soft denim. He's already hard, for me. I lick my lips in anticipation.

"Making the most of our alone time." My other hand joins in and I glide down the bed, aligning myself with his waist. He's watching me with hooded eyes, smoldering meres of gray heat.

Dexterously my experienced fingers unzip his pants. He lifts his waist off the bed aiding in my efforts to remove his pants and black boxer briefs from his body. I slide them down his legs and finally over his bare feet. _Christian's bare feet….mmmmmm…_I kiss the top of each foot, unable to resist them. Every inch of him is pure sexiness. With one hand on each leg I skate them back up his body, coming to wrap around his generous erection. On my knees, I work him with rhythmic strokes, all the while he watches me.

Without warning he moves, sitting up and placing his hands around my waist. He pulls my sweat pants down, taking my panties with them. I gasp in surprise and move quickly to help him remove my pants. He lies back among the pillows, a come hither grin playing across his lips. I know what he wants. I swallow hard, a surge of arousal coursing through my body. Those lips…that tongue…soon they will taste my body. As I continue to move my hands over him he caresses the sensitive skin between my legs, dipping his fingers inside of me. I inhale, feeling full, deliciously full.

"Christian…"

"Is it too much?"

"No…how…" I try to formulate a coherent question or thought.

"Three fingers, baby." He answers my unspoken question. My legs begin to shake. Making me unsure of how much longer I can hold my body up. As if sensing my dilemma he slows his ministrations. "I'm not going to make you come yet baby; I want that on my tongue. Bring your body here."

I nearly convulse in the moment but he removes his fingers, leaving me craving him, needing him. With not a hint of reluctance in my movements I spread my legs, placing one knee on either side of his head. With his hands he guides me down to where he wants me and licks me, running his tongue up and down the length of me, coating it with my wetness. He groans his appreciation and I dip my head to take him in my mouth…all of him. I feel vulnerable and his. His taste is divine and I swirl my tongue around the peak before sucking hard.

"Fuck, Ana." His tongue dives inside of me, swirling, moving, and relentlessly driving my body and mind in a state of pure euphoria.

My legs and arms begin shuddering uncontrollably as my orgasm rips through me. Like some sort of tributary I feel my body let go, releasing everything I have within me. Fervently Christian laps up every ounce of my arousal, drinking me in. I want to cry out but my mouth is full with him. A ferocious growl erupts from him and I feel him stiffen harder before he explodes in my mouth. Relishing the taste of him I swallow what he gives me, licking the now exceedingly sensitive tip as he comes down from his own release. Still quivering slightly almost flinch from the subtle pleasure I feel as he places soft warm kisses on my sex. Using his tongue he laps up any remaining moisture before kissing me…_there_…once more.

"So beautiful," he whispers.

I want so badly to collapse against him, my body spent. Somehow I find the strength to move though, coming to lie beside him.

"That was..." I fail to find the words to express the pleasure still flowing through me.

"I know baby, I know."

Lying satisfied in each other's arms it occurs to me that we are both still wearing our shirts. Talk about being swept up in the moment. I grin lazily, and cuddle against him, replete and sated in my husband's arms.

**"Dadadadada…" the repetitive jabber** sounds through the speaker.

"Good timing son," Christian laughs. Thank heaven those cute baby jibbers did not sound a few moments ago. He kisses my forehead, "I'll go fetch him."

I watch Christian stand from the bed and slides his clothes back on. All the while I enjoy the view of his gorgeous behind. He is like a perfect Greek statue carved from the finest marble, sculpted, strong, smooth, and hard and completely mine.

"Come here," I beckon to him playfully.

"Yes?" He comes to the side of the bed where I am leaning over slightly.

I give him a quick spank, "that's all."

"You little vixen, I'll get you for that later." He shakes his head and laughs at me and leaves to fetch our still jabbering baby boy.

**"Like this Ted…move** one arm and one leg." I can hear Christian coaching Ted from the kitchen. They are in the great room, no doubt having another 'how to crawl' lesson. Without even being in the room I can see them in my mind's eye. Both on the floor near the hearth where a roaring fire burns. They are on their hands and knees. Ted is rocking back and forth while Christian attempts to teach him to crawl. I finish pouring the powdered detergent into the dishwasher, close it and press start. The kitchen is cleaned from supper and I flip the light off on my way out of the room, leaving only the dim pendants lit above the sink.

Walking out the doorway and down the short hall they come into view, in the exact same position as I predicted they would be in. I halt suddenly though, keeping quiet as a mouse. With his little brow creased in concentration Ted lifts his left hand and reaches forward. Simultaneously his right knee scotches forward, he's doing it. He's actually trying to crawl. Up until this very moment he has only rocked back and forth on his knees. Quickly I count the date in my head, nearly a week shy of being six months old and look at my little man, doing his best to crawl with his daddy. Grace's voice rings back in my mind, 'once he starts moving you'll never be able to catch him.' A broad grin stretches across my face.

"That's it son!" Christian exclaims excitedly, encouraging our baby on his new venture. "Follow Daddy, do it just like me. Lift your hand and move your knee."

I feel tears threaten the prick the backs of my eyes, happy tears, tears of pride and joy. Placing his left hand on the soft rug beneath him he lifts his right hand and moves it while scooting his left knee.

"Ana! Ana! Come look!" I break out into a giggle between my tears.

"I can see him Daddy, I'm watching him." I don't move far from my spot. I don't want to break Ted's focus.

Ted takes two more scoots moving his knees and hands simultaneously before he maneuvers his body to sit. At that moment I dash toward them both and scoop my baby up into my arms. Peppering his face with kisses and telling him what a good job he did. Christian sits at my feet with a glowing smile of happiness painted over his face, a proud father.

"He's going to be crawling everywhere before we know it, Mommy." He says as I lower myself to sit beside him on the floor with Ted still in my arms.

"I can't believe he did it, and he's not even six months old yet."

"He's so smart, just like his beautiful mother."

"And his handsome father," I insist.

Teddy reaches out for Christian's arms and Christian scoops him up. Bringing him up to his mouth he blows raspberries against Ted's tummy through his yellow duck footed pajamas. Teddy squeals with the delight.

"Daddy is so proud of you Ted, I love you so much." I watch them, my eyes shining with love and a few remaining tears. I love them both, so much.


	59. Chapter 59

_*THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!*_

_I need to let you all know I have recieved your many requests and PMs for the address to my site. Please know I have not forgotten you! My hubby finally got the server back up this week, it has been a drawn out process not because anything has been wrong with it but just because life has been busy. I will post when it is up and message all of you with the site address. Meanwhile, enjoy the story. :)_

**The warmth of my** baby's tiny body snuggling against me rouses me. I open my eyes to the bright light of morning and see Christian leaning over me. How did I not hear him when he got up and took a shower? Why did he not wake me? Surely I should have already been up, gotten dressed and be ready to head to work as well. Before I am able to move my body from the bed he begins tucking the blankets of our bed around Ted and I's bodies, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"Why didn't you wake me? I need to get dressed."

"There's no reason for you to bother with going in today, baby. If anything should arise I will take care of it. You spend the day at home with our son." I settle back against my pillows and cradle one arm around Ted. Christian brushes his lips across mine faintly.

He's dressed for work in black slacks, a white linen shirt and black jacket, no tie. My mouth waters at the sight of him. But my heart aches at the thought of him being gone for the day. After the perfect day we spent together as a family him being gone leaves me feeling like there is a hole in my chest.

"Ted woke early before I had my shower," he continues. "I gave him a bottle and he promptly fell back asleep."

"I wish you didn't have to go." My voice whispers my inner musings. I reach up to tuck the lock of hair which has fallen over his forehead back into place.

"I'll only be gone for a few hours my sweet girl." He strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. I lean into the sensation of his skin against mine.

"Promise?"

"I promise. I've given Ted explicit instructions not to do anything cute and adorable while his daddy is at work. See to it that he minds me, okay Mommy?"

"Okay, Daddy." I give him a drowsy smile.

"Now, you go back to sleep and I will be home soon."

My phone beeps somewhere near me, a text message or a missed call. Trying to move slowly around the baby still sleeping against me I find it on the bedside table, Christian must have placed it there. Waking up the screen I find that I have a voicemail, I never even heard it ringing. I put it to my ear and listen, it's Kate.

"Hi Ana, it's me. Just calling to chat and wondering if you and your mom want to join Mia and I for black Friday shopping. I know, I know you hate shopping but you know how I love it. Anyway, call me back when you get the chance."

Shopping, blech, the word always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Kate loves it, she lives for it and even though she needn't worry about black Friday slashed prices it's like a religious experience for her. Getting up in the early morning hours to fight the crowds, she does it every year and every year she drags me along with her. As much as I loathe admitting it, of course I'll go. My mother looks forward to it every year as well. I wonder if Ray and Lynn will still be here on Friday morning. If they are perhaps Lynn would like to join us. That is if Mom hasn't been a royal pain in the ass by that point.

After deleting the message I see that it's nearly ten, wow, I've slept late and so has my little lazy baby. Peeling myself out of bed I secure a few pillows around him and rush the bathroom while he is still sleeping to freshen myself up and at least comb my hair. Mrs. Taylor must be wondering what has been keeping me upstairs this long. The time for breakfast has passed and lunchtime is approaching.

Teddy is beginning to stir when I emerge from the bathroom. I kiss his cute button nose lightly and he blinks his gray eyes open. A toothy smile spreads across his face. "Good morning my sweet boy," I sing song the words to him. Causing him to coo and gurgle at me. I scoop him up and decide he is in need of a fresh diaper before we go downstairs. My stomach grumbles reminding me that I need to eat. "Mommy is hungry Teddy. First we change you then Mommy can eat while you eat." He jabbers as if in agreement and I kiss his soft chubby cheek as we make our way down the hallway.

A note from Gail left on the kitchen counter tells me she has gone to fetch the last few groceries needed to prepare our Thanksgiving feast. With very little help from me she has gone all out planning Ted's first Thanksgiving. Every minute detail has been seen to by her. She has even had a monogrammed 'baby's first turkey day' bib made for my sweet boy to wear during dinner.

I fasten Ted in his highchair and open his banana puree' while taking a bite of the frittata Gail left for me in the warmer. I sit and thumb through the morning paper left on the table by Christian, no doubt. Intermittently I feed Ted and myself until we have finished our breakfasts and it is time to clean up. We definitely ate more of a brunch than a breakfast, but we are both well rested and ready for a day of play.

"Remember Teddy, Daddy said not to do anything too cute while he is gone to work."

"Dadadada…" I laugh at his jibbers. Christian is still not one hundred percent convinced that Ted knows who is speaking of when he says, 'dadadada.' Deep down in my heart I know though, he is talking about his daddy.

"Mrs. Grey," Gail's voice calls me from the foyer as rush of cold air enters the house.

"I'm in the great room Gail." I call back to her in answer. "You stay right here young man while Mommy goes to help Mrs. Taylor with the groceries." I hand Ted his zebra rattle I had been shaking for him and get up on my feet to hurry to the foyer.

Gail is loaded down like a pack mule with canvas bags, filled to the brim with food. "Here Gail, let me help you with those."

Gratefully she hands me several bags and turns to close the door behind her. "The temperature is dropping out there." She follows me into the kitchen and begins rubbing her hands together to warm them after setting her bags on the counter. "I swear it's colder out now than it was when I left."

I look out the window over the sink and see tiny drops of rain falling from the sky. "And it's raining." I comment to her.

"That's actually sleet which is beginning to fall. It just began as I turned on the drive."

Sleet, a sense of worry streaks through me, I hope Christian will be home soon.

Gail begins to unpack the bags and put away her purchases. Vegetables, apples and flour are among the vast assortment of delicious foods. "I've got this now Mrs. Grey, thank you for your help."

"Anytime, Gail. I'll just go back to Ted now."

"Very well, would you care for lunch soon?"

"I will just make a sandwich."

"Nonsense, what kind would you like? I will take care of it."

"Tuna?"

"Tuna it is then." She beams at me.

I turn and go back to where I left Ted on the floor in the great room. When I return he is no longer in the same exact spot where I left him. He has move off of his blanket and has managed to come halfway across the room, moving in the direction of the kitchen. How could I have forgotten? My little Teddy bear is on the move and must have been coming to find his momma.

"You little stinker!" I exclaim and scoop him up in my arms. "You are a fast moving object young man. Just what is Mommy going to do with you?" I tickle his tummy and he giggles at me before yawning and rubbing his eyes. I have no idea just how he managed to move across the room, it was either by crawling, rolling or scooting. No matter what his mode of transportation was, it would serve me well not to forget the fact that he is mobile now.

**The day progresses into** evening and the evening into nightfall. I do my best not to worry about Christian. Taylor is with him and while he said this morning he would be back in a few hours I know work must have gotten the better of him. Finally my phone chimes with a text message.

*Baby, I'm on my way home now. I miss you both. Christian*

I smile upon reading the text and set the phone back down. Looking out the window beside me I draw the tartan blanket further up my lap. Teddy snuggles in closer to my bare skin, resting his hand against me while he eats.

"Daddy's on his way Ted, he will be home soon." His little fingers flex and knead my breast as he drinks.

Even with the onset of dusk I can still see the miniscule slivers of ice falling from the sky. Sporadically they patter the glass sounding in an unsteady beat. A shiver runs through me just from the thought of how cold it must be outside. Ted and I are warm and snug nestled together, a roaring fire burning in the hearth to our left, a stark contrast to the chilled scene taking place outside the window to our right.

"Mrs. Grey, dinner is ready." Gail enters the room from the kitchen, drying her hands on her apron. The aroma of something wonderful seems to float in behind her. "It's chicken stew," she announces, confirming my suspicions.

"It smells wonderful Gail."

"Would you like to eat now ma'am?"

"Christian is on his way, I'll wait for him."

"Very well, I will keep it warm then. Would you like anything while you are nursing Ted?"

"A glass of water?"

"Coming right up." She disappears into the kitchen only to return a minute later with a tall glass of water. I thank her and turn my attention back to the little boy he needs to burp before continuing with his supper.

Less than ten minutes later I hear the front door opening, Christian. My heart leaps and I almost laugh at myself. What silliness, it's only been less than twelve hours since I saw him last. Sometimes it feels like an eternity though.

"She and Ted are in the family room." I hear Gail's voice telling Christian. His footsteps sound through the kitchen, growing louder until he walks into the room.

"Baby," he says. Wasting no time he is by my side, kneeling next to my chair, in an instant. At the sound of his father's voice Ted jerks his legs and arms, breaking away from where he is nursing, eager to see his daddy. Christian places of a kiss on his forehead and offers one of his hands to our son. Teddy places his tiny grip around Christian's long fingers and jabbers briefly before returning to his previous task of nursing. He loves his daddy but he loves to eat as well.

With his free hand Christian cups my chin and kisses my lips. "I missed you Mommy."

"I missed you Daddy." Our eyes smile at each other but I can see a hint of something else behind Christian's shining gray orbs. I can't make out the emotion, it's neither fear, or sadness, or even anger. It's a mixed combination, a jumbled mess.

"What is it?" I ask, catching him off guard.

"How did you know?"

"Christian, I see it in your eyes. What do you need to tell me?"

Rising from his knees he comes to sit on the brown leather ottoman where my feet are resting. "Have you listened to the radio or watched the television this evening?" He begins. I'm thrown off by his odd line of questioning.

"No…" I answer cautiously, curious as to where he is going with this.

"There was an accident late this afternoon."

My heart does a weird move where it jumps into my throat and sinks into the bottom of my stomach at the same time.

"Two women were in a car accident on the Aurora Bridge. The bridge was spotted with sheets of ice and the department of transportation was in the beginning stages of shutting it down. The car hit the side of the bridge and spun out of control. One of the women was thrown from the vehicle and died on impact; the other is in the hospital with injuries."

Who were these women? My mind is racing at a thousand miles an hour. Was it Mia? Oh, God, was it Kate? Every heart breaking scenario possible is plaguing my thoughts. No, no…I tell myself as I listen. If it were our family I would have known sooner and Christian would not be as collected as he is now. Breathe Ana.

"Ana, the woman who died was Ellen Wise. Susannah is the woman who is in the hospital." He finishes his train of thought and I breathe huge sigh of relief but it doesn't last for long. It is instantly followed by tears.

"How did you find this out?" I manage to stutter out the words.

"I just heard it on the way home, baby."

What do I do with this information? The selfish part of me wants to be relieved and I know it makes me a horrible, horrible person. I wrestle with my emotions, trying to banish those thoughts. I am not that kind of woman. I must not think that way. These two women, despite what they may or may not have done did not deserve to be dealt this hand.

"Baby," he whispers and takes my hand in his, squeezing.

"I…I don't know…I don't know what to feel."

"I know, Ana."

I look at him with glasses eyes, brimming with tears. "I feel…I feel…" I try to sort out my feelings but I can't. I can't find them or distinguish the good feelings from the bad feelings.

"Shhh…baby, I know."

Wrapping his arm around me he pulls me too him and I lean my head against his shoulder. I let my tears flow, all the while chastising myself because I can't distinguish the motive of my anguish. Inside I am reprimanding myself for my initial thoughts and wishing they had been different.


	60. Chapter 60

_My site is back up, message me if you are interested in it. Otherwise, enjoy the new chapter! :)_

_**Oh and a side note...I had someone review and insist that I stop Christian and Ana from calling each other Mommy and Daddy. The answer to that review request would be...no. If you read the epilogue in Freed you would know that they did in fact call each other Mommy and Daddy in Ted's presence. I am keeping with the story as written by Ms. James and intend to stay as original as possible.***_

_Enjoy!_

I hear Gail's footfalls and raise my head up to see her standing in the doorway between the family room and the kitchen. I dash away my tears quickly and pull back from my embrace with Christian just as she turns to leave. He turns to see who or what I am looking at.

"Gail," I call her back and she turns around.

"I didn't mean to interrupt Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey."

"It's okay Gail." I reassure her. "We'll be in to eat in a few minutes." She nods and goes back into the kitchen. "Dinner is ready, we should go eat." I cast the blanket aside and make a motion to stand, still holding him close to my body. He grumbles his disinterest in moving. "Keep eating Teddy, Mommy just wants to go have her dinner as well."

Taking my hand in his Christian helps me to stand, we are careful not to jostle my little diner too much. With his arm around my middle we walk to the kitchen where Gail has set the table with two steaming hot bowls of chicken stew. This and her chicken potpie are quickly becoming my favorite dishes. My mouth waters in anticipation. She serves me with a glass water and asks Christian what he would like to drink.

"I'll have a glass of wine."

"White or red sir?"

"White, please." After setting his glass on the table she leaves the room. I wonder how much of our conversation Gail heard. I wonder if Taylor will fill her in on the accident, if she even knows the extent of what Christian's life was before me. Surely she must know if Taylor does. The direction my thoughts are taking is not a course I wish to visit.

"Will you contact Susannah?" I surprise myself with my sudden outburst, unsure of where the question came from.

"What?" He looks at me as if I've lost my mind, shocked just as much as I am by my lose tongue. What in the hell made me ask him that? "Why would I contact her?" He breaks off a piece of bread, popping into his mouth and chewing it. I can feel his gray gaze observing me intently. I trace my spoon through my stew around the vegetables and chunks of chicken. "Do you think I'd care about her now that she's been in this accident? We never had a relationship. I do feel awful that this happened to her and I am saddened for her and Ms. Wise's family but other than that it is of no consequence to me."

I shrug my shoulders feeling befuddled. My own emotions are a murky, muddy mess. How am I to even begin to decipher what Christian is feeling? "Are you relieved?" I finally ask the question which has been burning a hole in my brain.

He sets his spoon in his bowl and takes a large gulp of wine before answering. "Yes, I suppose I am."

I could be stunned or even appalled by his answer but I'm not. This is who he is, who he has always been. Christian has never had goodwill towards anyone who has offered to bring me harm, or anyone who has offered to bring us harm for that matter. My mind flicks back to the Hyde incident and although I was unconscious at the time from what everyone told me he would have killed him if Taylor hadn't stopped him. Other than the fact that they never inflicted any physical pain on me I imagine this situation is not much different in Christian's eyes. He wants only to protect me, us, our family.

I want to feel sorry for Ellen and Susannah, but relief was the first emotion to course through me when he told me about the accident and I loathe myself for it. Am I bad person for feeling this way? I can't be. Christian is not a bad person. We are only human.

Teddy stirs away from me, obviously finished with his dinner. "Here, let me take him." Christian scoots his chair back and half stands to take Ted from my arms. Teddy happily coos at his father while Christian pats his back firmly to encourage a burp from him. I fix my clothing to recover myself and resume with eating my own meal.

"Are you not?" He asks.

"Are I not what?" My spoon stops in midair.

"Are you not relieved?"

"I would be lying if I said relief was not my immediate reaction, Christian. But a woman died this evening and her stepsister is in the hospital. It's not a happy situation." My spoon rests in my bowl of stew; I stare at it for what seems like forever, as if the answer to my thoughts is somewhere in my bowl of stew. "I feel awful Christian, like a monster for allowing myself to be relieved. I hate myself for it." Tears begin to threaten again. "It's not who I am. I don't want to be that kind of person." I shake my head, becoming increasingly frustrated with myself.

"Stop it." He demands and lifts my chin up almost forcibly with his hand. "You are not a bad person Anastasia Rose Grey. They were. They were the ones trying to ruin what we have. You are only human Ana, you can't help but feel relief at the loss of a sinister person who had nefarious intentions." His words reflect my inner thoughts and turmoil. How does he always know what I am thinking?

I swallow hard, choking back my tears and look at him, deep into his eyes, the purest windows to his soul. "I know." I whisper, placing my hand on his cheek. I graze my fingers over his skin, feeling the prickly stubble of his five o'clock shadow. In the most innocent of gestures Ted reaches up to put his hand beside mine against his daddy's cheek. We both smile at the feel of his touch then look down to him. Sitting on Christian's lap between us he is watching us both, his serene cherub face breaks into a smile.

"This is all that matters, Anastasia Grey, Theodore Grey and Christian Grey. Us as a family, baby. This is all that matters." Softly he swipes both Ted and I's hands over his mouth to kiss our fingers. Teddy giggles and leans his head against Christian's chest. He yawns and rubs his eyes. "Come let's finish our dinner so we can tuck this little one into bed."

**"The man in the **moon looked out of the moon, looked out of the moon and said, 'Tis time for all the children on earth to think about getting to bed.' " Acting as a voyeur I peek around the corner, still standing in the hall, to watch Christian tucking our son into bed. They are sitting together in my rocking chair finishing up the last poem in one of Ted's many nursery rhyme books. "The end," I hear Christian's deep voice declare. He closes the book and kisses the top of our already sleeping boy's head before carrying him to his crib. In the dim light cast by the small lap near the crib I see Christian rubbing Ted's back, soothing him into a restful sleep. Teddy sighs and goes lax, lost in his sweet baby dreams.

Once he is certain Ted is asleep he turns on his music and flips the lamp to a dimmer night light. I turn to leave before I am noticed but am too late.

"Are you watching us again Mommy?"

I blush as he pads quietly out of the room to join me in the hall. "I can't help it." I say looking up at him. The earlier stress has gone from his face leaving behind a serene countenance. The next six days are ours. They are solely for us and our families.

He lifts his hands and cups my face, one resting on each of my cheeks, and he kisses me. The kiss begins with the soft brush of our lips meeting but quickly turns into a passionate expression of need. Letting his hands wander he skims the curves of my breasts, down my sides, coming to rest at the band of my pants. Tentatively his fingertips caress my bare skin, lifting my t shirt at a slow crawl until his large grasp nearly encompasses my waist.

"I need to be inside of you Anastasia." He murmurs against my mouth. I hear his words and attempt to concentrate on them, but my mind is drawn elsewhere. He slides one of his hands in my pants, stretching my panties he strokes my delicate skin. "After everything that has happened today I want to cover your body with mine and bury myself deep inside of you. Please, baby…you're so ready." Dipping a finger into my wetness I feel him spreading it on me like a balm.

I whimper and answer him with my kiss, tasting him, stroking his tongue with mine. He groans and I feel it rumbled in his chest where my hands are resting. In one swift movement I am in his arms being carried down the hall to our bedroom. Tomorrow everyone will begin arriving for the holiday but tonight is ours.

** A cold morning sun** shines through the kitchen windows glistening over the few remaining icicles left behind by yesterday's sleet. If it weren't for the bare trees and the splinters of ice it would almost look warm outside. Christian and Taylor left early this morning to meet Mom and Bob's flight at SeaTac. Yet again they refused to use the jet, causing some grumbles of irritation to sound from Christian. I think the expanse of Christian's wealth overwhelms Bob. Mom on the other hand has always been besotted by it and makes no qualms about enjoying the sample of luxury she is able to taste when she comes to visit us. 'Christian is a good man and a fine catch,' her oft spoken words come back to me. Setting my empty tea cup in the sink I take the last bite of my muffin and discard the paper liner in the trash.

"I've just put away Ted's clothes Mrs. Grey. The little dear is still sound asleep in his crib." Gail comes in the room, busily going about her daily tasks. She stops at the stove to stir a pot of roasted tomato sauce she is preparing for dinner tonight. "What time do you expect Mr. Grey to return with your parents?"

I glance up at the clock, "They should be here anytime now."

"Would you like lunch to be served in the dining room?"

"Yes," I only get as far as that one word when I hear the front door opening. "They're here," I grin and with hurried footsteps I leave the room.

"Baby girl!" My mother exclaims the moment she sees me. I let her wrap me in her arms and enfold my arms around her too. "It's so good to see you." She says.

"It's good to see you too, Mom." I hug her back tightly before she releases me. "Hi, Bob." I smile and Bob gives me a loose one armed hug. He's never been the hugging teddy bear type.

"Good to see you, Ana."

"Mr. and Mrs. Adams, welcome," I hear Gail speak from behind me. Both Mom and Bob greet Gail. She offers to take their things to the guest room they will be staying in. Bob offers to help her with the luggage and she graciously accepts his assistance. During the commotion I cannot help but notice the hushed conversation taking place off to the side of the foyer between Christian and Taylor. Mom is telling me all about their flight and the crazy couple they sat next too, but I'm only halfway listening to her rambling. Even though I am straining to hear what the men are saying my attempts are futile, I can't make out one word. I give Mom a smile and comment here and there until she is finished with her story. I see Taylor nod firmly before turning on his heel to leave. I wonder where he is going and what just transpired.

Turning to face us Christian claps his hands together, "So, what would you ladies like to do first?" He gives us his megawatt smile and I almost forget about the scenario which just occurred, almost. I will be asking him about it, sooner rather than later.

"Look who's up," Gail's voice singsongs as she comes down the staircase with Teddy in tow.

"Why visit with my gorgeous grandson of course," Mom answers Christian and heads over to meet Gail in the great room.

I feel Christian come to stand by me as I watch Mom talking to Ted. He gives her a shy smile and buries his face in Gail's shoulder.

"Did you see that smile Mommy?" Christian whispers in my ear so that only I can hear him. "That was an Ana smile if I ever saw one. He looked exactly like you when he smiled at your mom." He places a warm kiss beneath my ear and I lean in to him subtly. "Come, let's go play with our son."


	61. Chapter 61

Turning to face us Christian claps his hands together, "So, what would you ladies like to do first?" He gives us his megawatt smile and I almost forget about the scenario which just occurred, almost. I will be asking him about it, sooner rather than later.

"Look who's up," Gail's voice singsongs as she comes down the staircase with Teddy in tow.

"Why visit with my gorgeous grandson of course," Mom answers Christian and heads over to meet Gail in the great room.

I feel Christian come to stand by me as I watch Mom talking to Ted. He gives her a shy smile and buries his face in Gail's shoulder.

"Did you see that smile Mommy?" Christian whispers in my ear so that only I can hear him. "That was an Ana smile if I ever saw one. He looked exactly like you when he smiled at your mom." He places a warm kiss beneath my ear and I lean in to him subtly. "Come, let's go play with our son."

Upon approaching where Gail stands with Ted he reaches his arms out, silently asking his daddy to hold him. Christian takes him in his arms where Ted again buries his face, this time against Christian's gray sweater.

"Are you playing shy?" My mom inquires to Ted. Rubbing his back she tickles his side lightly, hoping to bring another smile forth from him. He gives her a slight one but holds fast to his father. Fisting his hands he grabs hold of the soft charcoal sweater.

"Would anyone care for some refreshments?" Gail asks.

"Yes, that would be lovely Mrs. Jones. I'm quite parched after our trip." Mom answers immediately, speaking in her most charming voice.

"It's Mrs. Taylor now, Mom. Don't you remember? I told you Gail and Jason were married."

"Oh yes, good heavens! I'm so sorry Mrs. Taylor, please do forgive me."

"No need to apologize Mrs. Adams." Gail smiles kindly at my sometimes birdbrained mother. "I'll serve drinks in the great room then."

"That will be lovely Gail, thank you." I tell her and usher everyone into the great room.

**"Will your family be** coming today?" Mom directs her question at Christian, looking at him while sipping her tea.

"No, they will come tomorrow." He answers shortly, absorbed in the playful task of bouncing Ted up and down on his knee in the fashion of a cowboy riding a horse. Leaning down to speak to Ted I can just catch him saying, "giddy up…giddy up."

Tearing my eyes away from my husband playing horsey to my son the little buckaroo I embellish on Christian's short answer to my mother's question. "Mia will be cooking all of the desserts for Thanksgiving. She is quite the chef and is eager to try out a recipe she has for pumpkin cheesecake."

"She studied culinary arts in France, am I correct?"

I tell Mom more about Mia's time in France in greater detail than before. She listens with interest and is happy to hear about Mia's latest venture in the culinary world when I share with her the news of Mia instructing a few classes at the Seattle Culinary Academy. Every now and then I notice Christian looking up from his game with Ted as I talk. His eyes shine with pride at the mention of his baby sister's many accomplishments, a proud big brother. Next she inquires about Kate and how her life as a newlywed is coming along which causes me to launch into another conversation. This time telling about the new home Elliot's business is constructing for them in Kent. Before I know it all of the tea Mrs. Taylor served has been drank and lunchtime has arrived.

"I don't know about everyone else but I could do with some lunch." Bob says, rubbing his stomach to indicate his hunger.

I smile at the man that is my stepfather. He's a good person and I enjoy his company. He's not my daddy but I'm happy to have him in my life. "I will ask Gail to serve lunch in the dining room if everyone is ready?"

"I'll go baby." Christian volunteers and stands with Ted.

"Oh, let me take my darling grandson from you Christian. Grammy hasn't gotten the chance to really visit with him yet."

Christian makes the motion to place Ted in my mother's arms, but is met by a loud and definitive refusal on Ted's part. "Dadadadada…" Teddy jabbers and begins to cry. Big crocodile tears make his gray eyes glassy and begin to run down his cheeks. Almost in my mother's arms Teddy grips Christian's sweater, stringently refusing to leave his arms.

"Teddy," Christian coos his name and draws Ted back to his chest. He cups his hand over our baby's head and presses a kiss to his crown.

I feel awful at the sight of my baby refusing to be held by his grandmother. "He's never done this before." I state in disbelief.

"It's been a few months since he's seen me darling. It will just take some time." Mom assures me and stands, setting her empty cup on the tray in front of us. Sweetly she rubs Ted's back as he clings tightly to his father. "It's okay baby boy, Grammy understands."

I smile happy to see Mom is not taking Ted's clinginess to his daddy personally. "I will go tell Gail we are ready for lunch."

"Ask her to bring Ted's chair in the dining room."

"I will, Daddy. What would you like for lunch little man? Sweet potatoes?"

Teddy grins and Christian answers for him. "Yes, he thinks sweet potatoes sound yummy."

_Yummy,_ I nearly giggle to myself, and glancing at my mom I know she's thinking the same thing. Who would have thought the suave, devastatingly handsome, megalomaniac CEO Christian Grey would ever refer to sweet potatoes as 'yummy.'

Mom follows me upstairs after lunch to help put Teddy down for a nap. Hesitantly he released his clutch on his daddy to go into my arms. This bashful side of Ted is a new one. He has always been an outgoing baby, smiling at people he meets and happily cooing to anyone who speaks to him. He's never met a stranger. Now my outgoing social butterfly is timid with his own grandmother. I hope he is not the same with Ray when he arrives tomorrow. My daddy will be nearly heartbroken if his little buddy does not come to him willingly.

I sit in my rocking chair, nursing Ted until his eyes finally close with sleepiness. Mom is busy chatting about the new clothes she purchased for him at some chic boutique in Savannah before they left for Las Vegas. I comment on each little outfit as she shows them to me, the smocked snowman jumper being the cutest of them all. I cannot wait to have Ted's first Christmas pictures taken in it. I know he will be adorable.

She looks over and notices Ted is sound asleep. "May I put him in his crib Ana?"

"Sure," careful not to wake him I move slowly to stand. He stirs and sighs but his eyes stay shut. Mom takes him from my arms in a smooth transition.

"Such a sweet angel," she kisses his forehead. "You and Christian made a beautiful baby together." She takes Ted to his crib where she lays him down and tucks him in while I button my burnt orange V-necked sweater dress.

"I'm partial," I come to stand by her and press the button to start Ted's lullaby music.

"Do you want any more children?"

"Mom, I've told you before, yes."

"I know dear, I was just wondering if your answer had changed." She waves me off nonchalantly and I shake my head. Don't hurry me along Mom, or anyone else for that matter, let me enjoy the baby I have first. "So," she begins, changing the tone in her voice to move on to the next subject. "Have you spoken with Ray? What time will he be arriving tomorrow?"

I motion for her to follow me out of the room so as not to wake Ted. "He and Lynn should be arriving after lunch. Around two or three I believe."

"Oh, yes, Lynn. That is her name. I'd flat out forgotten. It had just slipped my mind."

I squint my eyes, regarding her. Sure it had Mom; you're just fishing for information. My subconscious agrees with me, not only is she fishing for information but she's doing a poor job of concealing her motive as well, she remarks. Now it's my turn to agree with her, and I do, whole-heartedly. "I'm sure it did." I mumble in articulately.

"What was that dear?"

"Nothing, I just said, yes her name is Lynn."

Mom nods as if agreeing with me, but I know she's no fool. She's aware of what I really said.

"Shall we join Bob and Christian in the family room?"

"Yes, let's." She takes my arm in hers and leads me down the stairs. My mother, my eternal girlfriend. More of a friend than a mother.

The afternoon passes pleasantly and before I know it night is upon us. Teddy has warmed up to my mother considerably better than he was this morning when she first arrived. He's still not interested in being carried by her but is happily crawling across the family room floor in her direction as she dangles one of his toys for him to grab.

"He reminds me so much of you when you were a baby, Ana." She tells me again. I've heard this same line from her all day. I don't see it though; to me he looks like a mirrored image of Christian.

"Was she a curious little girl, Carla?" Christian asks from his seat on the sofa. I'm sitting on the floor by his feet, leaning on his leg.

"She was. I always told her curiosity killed the cat, when she'd go snooping around in odd places. It never deterred her though; she was a nosey little thing. When she wanted something she would get it, climbing any piece of furniture that was in her way. I would find her in the most peculiar places too. She loved to hide under tables and chairs just so she could listen in on adult conversations. Ana was always older than her chronological age having preferred the company of adults and a grown up conversation over playmates her own age."

He listens attentively with keen ears to my mother's description of me as a child. "Doesn't sound like much changed as she grew up." His eyes gleam at me wickedly as he strokes his chin thoughtfully. I feel a blush creep up my neck and into my cheeks remembering how Christian knows this attributes about me. I never let up on him with my line of questioning until I got down to the heart of who he truly was and learned all that I could about his past, often times annoying him or just flat out making him angry with me.

"Ray used to call her his little detective," she continues. "When Ray and I were married we thought for sure she would be a reporter when she grew up. That's why I was surprised she didn't study journalism when she went into college. Especially after she met Kate I was sure she would choose the same career path but alas, books, editing and the English language caught her interest instead."

"I love my job and what I do." I say, feeling the need to interject some of my own opinions about myself in the conversation. Although I will be using some of those 'detective' skills tonight to find out just what Christian and Taylor were talking about in the foyer earlier.

"And you are perfect at it." Christian covers my hand with his where it is resting on his knee.

My Teddy climbs up in to my lap and begins rubbing his eyes. "I think its bedtime." I say and scoop him up.

Bob yawns and stretches, "I think he has the right idea. I'm beat."

"It is late," Mom agrees and stands with Bob. "We'll see you both in the morning."

Christian and I retreat up the stairs after them to bathe Ted and tuck him in for the night.


	62. Chapter 62

***Using a few more of my reader's suggestions via their reviews in this chapter. :) I hope you all enjoy it and I've had a few of you ask me if I plan to write a special chapter for Ana's birthday which is on September 10th and the answer is YES! :) **

**Enjoy the chapter!**

With the rest of the house quiet and dozing in slumber I pad downstairs to the kitchen in the quest of a bedtime cup of chai tea. The kettle whistles shrilly breaking the silence in the dimly lit kitchen and I pour the steaming water in my cup before dunking my tea bag in several times. I add a teaspoon of sugar and a splash of cream before going to snuggle up on the sofa with my book and a warm blanket. The flames dancing in the fireplace have decreased in size greatly compared to the roaring blaze we sat in front of just a few hours before. Now mostly embers glow a burnished auburn color among darkening specks of black as the fire cools. Still a warm glow can be felt spreading from the hearth. It warms my feet and my hands as I sit sipping my spiced tea and reflecting on the day. My mom is here and tomorrow Ray will arrive. _Daddy,_ _I've missed him so._

Lost in my own meditative thoughts I fail to hear Christian's footsteps when he comes in the room. I know he's here though by the scent of his body wash meeting my nostrils. .

"I thought you would be in bed." Lifting my feet he sits where they were and places them in his lap. He is wearing a white undershirt and black pajama bottoms. His hair, still damp from his shower, falls deliciously over his forehead. _Time for another haircut, my inner goddess winks at me, haircuts are always fun._ "I got out of the shower and you weren't there, I checked the nursery and you weren't there either."

"I wanted a cup of tea." I say motioning to the steaming teacup in my hands before I turn my attention back to the dying embers. I take a sip of the comforting liquid and it slides down my throat smoothly. Mmmmmm…cinnamon, cardamom and vanilla…heavenly.

"You're staring at those embers intently. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing in particular, I'm just enjoying being. You know, enjoying the moment." I answer him, contemplating whether I should bring up the conversation between him and Taylor.

He nods and begins massaging my feet, running his long able fingers up and down my instep. I almost moan at the sensation, it feels so good. _Keep your senses about you Anastasia Grey, I chide myself. Don't let Mr. Sexpertise distract you from the matter at hand. _Mentally I give myself a pat on the back for not allowing him to scatter my thoughts, wits or senses.

"What were you and Taylor talking about this morning when you came home?"

With a furrowed brow he looks at me skeptically. "What do you mean?" He continues massaging my feet, his hands traveling up a bit farther to caress around my ankles where my chocolate leggings meet my bare skin.

_Don't play dumb with me, Grey. You are anything but that. _I try my question again, this time attempting to be a bit more specific. "When you entered the house and came into the foyer. I was greeting my mother and you were speaking with Taylor in hushed tones. He nodded then left. What was that about?" There. I can't be any more on point than that. Steeling my eyes at him I demand that he answer me.

He finally caves, "I was only asking him to contact Welch for me. I wanted to know if Susannah's condition had changed and I wasn't keen on saying anything in your mother's or Bob's earshot. That's why we were speaking in hushed tones." I hear a slight drip of sarcasm in his voice.

"Why didn't you just tell me that then instead of dancing around my question?"

"It wasn't important." He dismisses.

"I didn't know that though." Gently I argue back with him. Not showing any anger because truly there is none for me to show. I'm only disconcerted by his lack of interest in sharing this information with me voluntarily.

"Did you think I was hiding something from you?"

"No. I just wanted to know." My tone of voice edges on assertive. _Don't treat me like a bad guy Grey for inquiring as to what kind of conversation my husband was having with his right hand man._ "And now I do. Thank you." I toss a hint of sarcasm right back at him.

He sighs heavily before speaking again. "Baby, I just didn't want to worry your mind about it. These next few days are for us and I don't want them tainted with anything concerning my past."

I believe him. His eyes and his words are sincere. I need to know though; I need and want to know everything that affects him because it affects me. We are one unit, man and wife. One cannot function without the other. I love him that deeply. Does he not know that?

"This is not only your past Christian. It is our future too."

He stops rubbing my feet and gazes into my eyes. Determined blue meet equally determined gray. "Fair enough Mrs. Grey, as ever you make a good point." I nod firmly, satisfied with myself and his reaction, then return back to drinking my tea. "You would have made an excellent journalist you know?" A hint of a smirk graces his lovely lips.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere Mr. Grey." I smirk back at him.

"Oh on the contrary Mrs. Grey, I happen to think it will get me everywhere."

"Not so fast…" I tut him and reach down to remove his hand from where it has crept up my knee. "We are not finished with our conversation." I emphasize the word _we_. "Have you or Taylor heard back from Welch?" He rolls his eyes and I narrow mine at him. "Don't roll your eyes at me Mr. Grey, or I may put your over my knee." My warning elicits a raised brow from him, but I don't give him time to response. Continuing head on I say, "Now, answer my question."

"Yes. Taylor has heard back from Welch."

"And…" I prompt.

"And nothing has changed with Susannah. She's still in a medically induced coma and on a ventilator. Welch will let me know if anything new develops."

"How does he find out all of this information? Surely some of it must be classified information per the hospital and not free to be public knowledge."

"He has his ways…"

"Hmmmm…surely they are not all legal or ethically sound."

Christian lets out a soft laugh. I know it's not from humor though, it's from exasperation. "Baby, I'm not even going there. Welch does his job and he does it well. That's all you or I need to know."

I purse my lips. Not thrilled with his response but unable to go any further with my interrogations. "Well, I want to know when any new developments arise, understand?"

"Understood," he replies much like a petulant teenager sulking because he was caught sneaking around after curfew.

Sitting up straighter I take another sip of my tea. "See, was that so hard?" I gloat at him and give him a gleaming grin.

"It was like pulling teeth…" he mumbles to himself.

"Only because you insisted on making it that way Mr. Grey," I chastise him gently.

"Are we finished with your interrogation for the night?"

"Quite finished, thank you."

"Good, because I have other things in mind for you." He place his hand back to its previous location on my knee. With light touches he begins crawling it back up my leg until he is rubbing circles on my inner thigh.

"I'm tired tonight." I yawn and set my tea cup on the coffee table in front of me. "I rather think I'd like to go to bed."

"Oh, we will Mrs. Grey, just not yet."

In a swift movement he pulls my legs so that I am tipped back and lying on the couch, my head resting on the arm. He hovers over me, his large body caging me in on all sides so that I am unable to move.

"I love these brown leggings, Anastasia." He growls low in his throat. "They hug your tight little ass perfectly." His hand moves around from my thigh and he squeezes my behind firmly to showcase his case in point. "And this sweater dress…it hugs the contours of your round, swollen breasts, making me want to suckle them until your nipples are taut and you scream for me to stop because you can't come anymore." His other hand, the one not on my bottom, skims my dress until it is cupping my right breast. Moving his thumb to and fro I feel my nipple hardening beneath my bra and dress.

He lowers his body so that it is resting on top of mine. I can feel his weight pushing me down into the sofa. His hard erection presses against my groin and I want to move against it. Instinctively my body searches for pleasurable friction. I crave him no matter how much I try to fight it. My body always betrays me and the only way to satisfy my hunger for him is to give him to my desires.

"Such a charmer with words Mr. Grey," I give him my shy smile and slide my hands around his neck, tangling them in the hair at his nape.

"My words appear to be working." He flicks my strained nipple to accentuate his point. Then he lowers his head down and bites my nipple through the orange sweater material.

_Ah! _It almost stings. I feel it connect deep down, in the lowest part of my belly.

"Here or in bed Mrs. Grey?"

I am about to answer him and tell him here, now, I cannot wait a moment longer when the unexpected happens. The kitchen illuminates with light behind us. _Oh fuck! It's my mother…or Bob…or both. Which would be more mortifying? _

"Shhhh…" Christian holds a finger up to my mouth and leans further down so that he is unnoticeable to anyone looking in the family room. My eyes flick to the lamp glowing softly on the sofa table behind us. Whoever is in the kitchen can easily tell that someone is in this room merely by the fact that there is still a light on in here.

As if he is trying to torture me Christian keeps his one finger on my mouth while moving his other hand from my bottom to the apex of my thighs. He caresses behind my thigh and touches my sex from behind. I stifle a groan as he applies pressure and rubs my sensitive spot. It feels so good. My body is singing for him, begging for him to touch me without the boundaries of clothing. Just as I am closing my eyes, giving myself over to the sensations I hear my mother's voice.

"Ana dear, are you in there? I'm looking for the…" Her words falter as she enters the room. "Oh…Oh dear…Please excuse…I'll just be going to bed." She rushes out of the room after a quick glance in the direction over the couch and I swear I hear here taking the stairs two at a time.

Christian begins chuckling and I slap at his shoulder. "That was not funny! My mother caught us in…in…an indecent position." I am mortified.

"Baby, that was not only hilarious but it was priceless too. Carla Adams speechless is a rare thing to behold."

_Okay, true he has a point there but still! _"Christian she saw you on top of her daughter biting her nipple!" And now I am even more horrified. The nipple part just makes it ten times worse. Have I ever been so embarrassed in my entire life? _Remember when she heard you two going at it when she was here for Kate's wedding? My subconscious graciously reminds me of that not so flattering moment._

"Baby, she heard us having sex, remember?" And Christian echo's what my subconscious has already pointed out.

My face heats fifty shades of red and I want to crawl in a hold and hide. "Yes Christian, I didn't need a reminder."

"At least she knows her daughter is satisfied in her marriage." He's enjoying this. His laugh and grin are infectious though and finally my stubborn lips part from their purse into a smile.

"It was kind of funny wasn't it? My mom is never speechless." I try to enjoy the moment of levity. Avoiding the thought of her confronting me about it in the morning, God I pray she doesn't say something to me about it.

"So, would you like for me to make you speechless here or in our bedroom?" He raises an expectant eyebrow at me.

"Bedroom!" I exclaim. He is off of me in a snap and I am dashing up the stairs behind him. Taking them two at a time much like my mother did only moments ago.


	63. Chapter 63

**I hope you all enjoy this one :) Using an idea a reviewer gave me a while back. **

**Dawn brings a new** day which will soon be filled with family togetherness. By noon all of the Grey's have arrived and my house is bustling with activity and chatter. Much like Grace and Carrick's home was only a year ago during Christian and I's first Thanksgiving together. It's hard to believe a year has already gone by since then. We were so close to being in to our house, hoping Elliot and his crew would have it ready by Christmas. My belly was expanding at a steady pace and although we had yet to find out whether our little blip was a girl or a boy Christian was absolutely certain his child I was carrying was a boy. I felt my first baby flutters sitting at the Grey's Thanksgiving dinner table. Christian eagerly placed his hand gently to my swollen stomach, searching for any movement he could feel. Still at that time all of the sweet movements were mine, only mine. Moments shared solely between me and our child growing inside of me. Watching my active baby boy as he crawls across the family room floor intently seeking the lap of his Uncle Elliot I smile to myself. Still so active my little blip, I muse in my own thoughts.

"They're so cute together." I turn from where I'm leaning against the doorframe between the kitchen and family to see Kate wiping her flour covered hands with a kitchen towel. Her eyes are observing the same heart melting scene as mine, Teddy crawling happily between his uncle and daddy.

"They are." I agree. "Teddy loves his Uncle Elliot and his daddy. When he has their attention he turns into quite the little performer."

"Where have Ethan, Carrick and Bob gone off too?"

"I think they're still down in the game room, probably deeply engrossed in a game of pool."

"And the snacks Mrs. Taylor took to them a few minutes ago."

"More than likely," I laugh. The men in this family eat like horses, all of them. My little baby Ted included. "Is Mia ready for the apple pie to be assembled?" I turn my attention back to the kitchen where Mia and Grace are busy preparing a plethora of sweet treats for tomorrow's dinner, although I think the word dinner is a poor description of what we will be eating tomorrow. The word feast seems to be a more apt depiction considering the large amount of food which is already being prepped and cooked. "Where is my Mom?" I ask Kate, noticing her absence in the large kitchen.

"She went to join the men a few minutes ago. She had a fresh tub filled with beers and ice in tow."

"Ana, would you mind slicing the apples for me?" Mia pipes up. She is wearing an orange apron covered in rustic looking pumpkins. Her dark hair, which has grown longer, is swept up in a mess bun on top of her head and she has a smattering of flour on her left cheek. She pops her finger in her mouth to taste the pumpkin cheesecake filling she has been mixing in a large bowl. "This is to die for!" She exclaims causing Grace and Kate to stick their fingers in for a small sample of their own. Immediately they agree with her, causing an uproar of chatter to break out about how delicious the cheesecake will be.

"Come taste this Ana," Kate encourages me. I pick up my knife to slice the shiny green apples piled in a bowl in front of me before taking my own sample of the filling. "That is divine Mia." The filling is creamy and tastes of pumpkin, nutmeg, vanilla and cinnamon…delicious.

Mia begins filling her pan which is already layered with her crust with the filling. Kate returns to her task of making pie crusts with Grace and I set about slicing the apples. With my bowl nearly full of apple slices I cut a lemon in half and squeeze the juice over the top of them to ensure they do not turn brown before slicing the remaining few. I am only last apple with my knife slips and I scream out in pain. I'm sure a few curse words fly out of my mouth due to the piercing pain emanating from my left index finger which covers in bright red blood immediately.

"Get her a wet towel!" Grace shouts and rushes to my side. Even though she is in the same room as me and Christian is in the family room he is somehow beside me before Grace. I think I may pass out from either the pain, or the nausea or the sight of the blood. It may be all three.

"Put pressure on her finger. Squeeze the towel tightly around it to stop the bleeding." Grace urges Christian who has already wrapped the damp towel supplied by Kate around my injured finger.

"I've got you, baby." He kisses the top of my head and pulls me close to his body. I'm surprised no tears have escaped my eyes. My finger is throbbing, it hurts so badly. I look up to see Elliot standing in the doorway with a teary eyed Ted in his arms. His bottom lip trembles and he lets out a cry.

"Come here baby boy. Mommy's okay, she just cut her finger." Elliot brings Ted over to me at my words and with my other arm I hold him close, hugging him and reassuring him. "Did I scare you when I screamed sweet boy? I'm so sorry." For a few more minutes Christian holds my finger tightly in his grasp while I comfort my upset baby.

Once Ted has calmed I hand him to Kate so that Christian can unwrap my finger and look at it. "We need to see how deep the cut is Ana, dear." Grace coaxes. I wince at the sharp pain. "To make sure you don't need any stitches." She reassures me. The bleeding has slowed and she holds my hand gently with her own, over the towel Christian is still holding, so that she can examine it.

"It doesn't look too deep. We need to get it bandaged and dressed properly though. You can take a small dosage of Tylenol for the pain if you need too." She turns my finger over several times more. She is running her fingers over my cut, ensuring herself of her diagnoses, before relinquishing my hand back to me.

"No, I'll be alright." I try to smile, feeling silly for all of this fuss over a little old cut. Clumsy Ana strikes again.

"Keep the pressure on it until the bleeding has completely stopped." Grace rewraps the damp cerulean towel around my wounded finger.

"Mmmm…" Ted exclaims reaching his arms out to me he makes a grabbing motion with both his hands.

"I'll dress it for her Mom. You ladies go back to your baking. Elliot, why don't you help the ladies in the kitchen?" Christian suggests, gently ribbing his big brother, as he takes Ted from his arms. His comment adds a healthy dose of lightheartedness to this situation.

"Sure Bro, because I know just what to do in the kitchen," He uncrosses his arms from in front of his chest as Mia places a pumpkin apron, matching her own, around his neck and ties it around behind him.

"You can finish cutting the apples for Ana, big brother." She smirks and plants a loud kiss on his cheek and hands him the knife I had been holding before my accident occurred. Glancing at my workstation I breathe a sigh of relief, the apples are all still good for use. Thank heavens I didn't bleed all over our potential apple pie.

"Only for you baby sister, but don't blame me if they look less than visually appealing." Kate and I exchange glances, trying to stifle giggles at how ridiculous Elliot looks in his pumpkin apron.

Teddy reaches for me, grasping his hands open and close, "Mmmmm!" he demands.

"This is rather new son. What does 'mmmm' mean?" Christian props Ted in his hip and looks earnestly in our son's eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He always speaks to meaningfully to him, trying to understand everything our little boy attempts to convey to us.

"I think it means 'mommy'." Grace says, grinning at the three of us.

"Is that it Ted? Do you want Mommy?"

With my finger bound tightly in the towel I take Ted from his daddy's arms where he is leaning forward, reaching out for me.

"Mmmmm…" He says again and his chubby baby hand pats at my breast.

I giggle and a blush creeps across my cheeks. "I think 'mmmm' could either be mommy or milk." Glancing at the clock I see what time it is and it is time to nurse. "Come, my sweet baby. Mommy will feed you while Daddy cares for her finger."

Everyone else in the kitchen is busy with their tasks when we exit the room with the exception of Grace. She is watching our little trio retreat with affection painted clearly across her face.

** Ray and Lynn arrive** at precisely three o'clock in the afternoon. I hear the doorbell ring as I step off of the last stair with Ted in my arms. He is fresh and wide-eyed after a three hour nap.

"Gramps is here Teddy," I tell him excitedly. Christian opens the door and a cold whoosh of air sweeps in the great room.

Thankfully everyone has retreated down to the basement to enjoy either a movie in the cinema or play another friendly game of pool, leaving the upstairs empty with the exception of Gail who is still energetically bustling through the kitchen. All of the desserts have been prepared for tomorrow and the last minute prepping has been completed. She is now working on dinner for tonight; breakfast for dinner, a Grey family tradition. When Christian and I celebrated our first Thanksgiving together last year I was surprised and thrilled to learn about their day before Thanksgiving dinner ritual. Last year Grace and Gretchen spent the afternoon preparing a breakfast feast of such magnitude which I had never seen before. This year I took on the tradition what with Christian and I hosting the holiday meal and such. Gail has been so helpful though, I know I could not manage without her, especially now with my injured finger.

"Daddy!" I squeal and dash across the room with Teddy in my arms.

"Annie," he says my name as he enfolds me in his arms. Teddy begins jabbering as if to remind Ray of his presence. "Hey there my little buckaroo, do you remember Gramps?" Holding his little arms out Ted reaches for Ray.

"Obviously he does," Grinning I watch my dad with my son.

Remembering that he's not alone Ray turns his attention briefly from Ted. "Annie, Christian, this is Lynn. Lynn, this is my daughter Ana and her husband Christian." Wordlessly he beckons to the short sandy blonde haired woman standing in the doorway. She smiles shyly and walks in to stand by my father's side.

"Ana," she says and shakes my hand. "Christian," she shakes his hand as well. "Thank you so much for having me in your home."

"It's our pleasure Lynn." I smile warmly at her. Christian closes the door and directs Taylor, who is standing with Ray and Lynn's luggage in hand, to take their suitcases upstairs to their room. My first impression of Lynn is a good one. She's soft spoken and seems sweet.

"And this little fella her is my grandson, Teddy."

"It's very nice to meet you Teddy." Lynn smiles at him and Ted smiles back.

"Can I take your coats?" I offer and they both shed their winter wear, Christian takes Ted.

"Everyone's down in the basement, would you like to join them?" I offer as we walk into the great room. Ted reaches out for Ray and my heart melts. Christian obliges our son's request and passes him to his gramps.

"Sure thing, Annie. Do you mind if we sit here for a while first though? I'm a bit bushed from the drive."

"That's fine Dad."

"I'll ask Mrs. Taylor to bring refreshments." Christian volunteers and disappears to the kitchen.

"Tell me all about how things are Montesano?" I take a seat next to Ray on the sofa and Lynn sits nearby in one of the chairs. A fire dances cozily in the hearth, warming us from the cold winter's afternoon.

Holding his grandson in his arms Ray updates me on how everyone in Montesano is doing. Lynn interjects here and there. They appear to finish each other's thoughts and sentences so seamlessly. One anticipating what the other will say before it is even said, reminding me very much of Christian and I. My heart swells again. Could my Daddy have found his soul mate? He's spent so much of his adult life alone, focusing on raising me, especially after my Mom left him. The thought of him finally have the right person to share his life with fills me with a wealth of joy.


	64. Chapter 64

*****This chapter is a jump ahead BUT I will go back to where the actual story is with Thanksgiving. As many of you know September 10th is Ana's birthday and several of you have requested a birthday chapter. That is what this is. The chapter is growing much longer than I had anticipated though so I am posting this chapter as Part 1 of her birthday and will post the rest of her birthday chapter tomorrow as Part 2. ;) I will pick back up with the orgininal story though after I am done writing her birthday in these next two chapters. **

**I hope you enjoy this! At this point Ted would be about 16 months old. It is written in present day.********

**September 10, 2013**

**Ana's 24****th**** Birthday**

**_"Mommy!" my baby boy's_**_ voice shrieks my name with enthusiasm. I open my eyes in time to see him scampering through my bedroom door, his father close behind him. Ted's tiny baby feet pitter patter on the dark hardwood, producing a rhythm that is music to my ears. Upon reaching the bed where I am now sitting up with the covers pooling at my lap he attempts to hoist himself up to join me. Christian places a hand on his bottom to give him a helpful boost. _

_The morning sun stretches rays of bright light across our bedroom through the doors leading out to our balcony. The radiance illuminates the prevalent copper highlights in both my son's and husband's hair. Their matching gray eyes dance with merriment and at this moment I simply cannot imagine a more perfect way to celebrate my twenty-fourth birthday, my third birthday celebration with Christian, and my second as a mother to my beautiful Ted. _

_"Remember what we need to tell Mommy Ted?" Christian asks him once Teddy has climbed up. _

_Ted covers his head up with the crisp white sheet then suddenly pulls it down in an animated fashion and shouts, "Happy birfday Mommy!"_

_"Thank you baby boy," I grin at his enthusiasm and run my hand down his soft chubby cheek. _

_He turns his head and kisses the palm of my hand with soft slobbery lips. "Birfday tiss." He tells me and my heart smiles. "Bekfast!" He exclaims, my birthday now forgotten, and scurries down from the bed, causing my heart to then leap into my throat as he lands on his feet. Fearless. He is the most agile child I have ever seen and has only one speed…go._

_"We'd better go feed him breakfast Mommy." Christian grins at me and we both quickly get out of our bed to follow our little man on wheels. The minute he wakes up feeding his tummy is the only thing on his mind. "After he has had his breakfast Grandma is coming to get him, then you and I will have birthday celebration time…alone."_

_"Just what do you have planned for me Mr. Grey?" I ask as we catch up with our little boy at the top of the stairs where he is patiently waiting for me to open the newly installed baby gate. Christian and each take one of his hands to help him climb down the stairs. He is never content to be carried down them anymore unless he is sleeping. Always insisting, 'Ted,' meaning he will do it all by himself. I giggle every time he expresses his desire for independence by saying his name and pointing at his chest with his right index finger. _

_"We will be going away for the night Mrs. Grey." Christian nods in the direction of the two packed suitcases sitting by the front door. _

_When did he? How did he? "How did I not notice my bag being packed?" I raise a pensive eyebrow at him. _

_"I have my ways my dear Mrs. Grey." He gently teases me. _

_I shake my head grinning like a loon. "That you do Mr. Grey. That you most definitely do."_

_**Teddy is fed, cleaned **__and dressed in record time thanks to the eagerness of his daddy. I wonder what he's up to and what he has planned for my special day. Grace is right on time, arriving nine o'clock sharp to pick up our little bundle of boy energy. He goes with her without giving Christian and I a second glance. I suspect that's because she tells him they will be spending some time with Uncle Elliot today, one of Teddy's all-time favorite people. _

_With his hand presses to his mouth he 'blows' Christian and I kisses from the other side of the car window until Grace turns to exit down the driveway and he can no longer see us. I'm still waving to him, even though I know he cannot see me, until her car is out of sight. _

_"He should keep them busy for the next two days." Christian says planting a kiss atop my head. He's standing behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. A sweet hint of autumn blows in the breeze, carrying the fragrant scent of later summer flowers blooming in our meadow with it. _

_"Two days?"_

_"Yes, two." He squeezes his arms tightly around me. "Ready?"_

_"More than ready." I answer. With you Christian I am ready for anything, I think to myself. _

_With Taylor at the wheel we maneuver through the Tuesday morning traffic in Seattle until we arrive at Escala. I give Christian a sardonic smirk. He's brought me here, as if I don't know exactly what he has in mind. Playroom…whispers my inner goddess. Pesky thing she is, she's right in my ear when she says it, clapping her hands in glee, well clapping them after she's dropped her lace boy short panties. She is definitely ready for action._

_"It's not what you think." Christian shakes his head, humor twinkling in his eyes._

_My inner goddess folds her arms across her now bare chest and 'humphs' while stomping her foot petulantly. What? No playroom? She is not happy._

_Taylor parks the Audi SUV and retrieves our two suitcases from the trunk. I have yet to see what my suitcase actually holds. I expect not much. We ride up the elevator and to my surprise we pass the top floor and continue on until the elevator opens on the rooftop. Charlie Tango sits with its blades rotating slowly. We're flying! My stomach lurches into my throat with excitement, it's been so long since we've flown together in Christian's helicopter. The wind whips around me and Christian draws me closer to his side to help shield me from the chill as we make our way over to the helipad. I wrap my denim jacket tighter around me. I am glad I wore my jeans and brought the jacket as well. _

_The older gentleman who I remember as Joe opens the door for us and takes our bags from Taylor, packing them away behind the seats._

_"She's all set for your flight sir." He says to Christian._

_"All pre-flight checks have been performed?" _

_"Yes sir. Safe flight." They are nearly shouting as to hear each other over the reverberating noise of the engine and the whooshing wind. _

_Giving me his hand Christian helps me in first then takes his own seat before closing the doors and doing all of the checks again, checks I presume Joe has already done himself. Mr. Control Freak has to do it all again on his own. He wouldn't be Christian if he didn't. Once he's satisfied with the job as being well done he sets his sight on the next task at hand, strapping me in. Pulling the harness to confirm its tightness he smiles and kisses my lips firmly._

_"Like it was yesterday…" he murmurs to himself, his words trailing off before he finishes his thought. He then places the cans over my ears. I can imagine what he's thinking though. It does seem like only yesterday when we first flew in Charlie Tango together, but then in other aspects it feels as if it were eons ago. Lost in my own thoughts I fail to notice that he is strapped in already and speaking to the air traffic controller telling him that Charlie Tango is cleared for take-off._

_Like always my stomach drops and I'm sure it's still somewhere on the roof of Escala as we rise above the Seattle skyline, leaving home behind us. We fly north in to the clear blue sky, the water to our left and the city bustling to our right. _

_"Where are we going Mr. Grey?" I ask, trying again to get any kind of clue as to what he has in store for me. _

_"That's for me to know Mrs. Grey and for you to find out." He grins and his good humor is infectious. I laugh giddily, caught up in the wondrous moment. _

_I feel like I am floating over the azure colored water below us. It is dotted with a multitude of islands and I feel like I am worlds away from the world existing below us, caught up in my own world, flying in the heavens with my gorgeous husband. What did I ever do to deserve this magical world? Soon I realize that Washington State is to our right and Canada is to our left._

_"Vancouver Island," Christian says, answering my unspoken question. I nod and like a mute or mime I sit speechless, absorbing the view around me. The large island and the smaller ones appear to be made of only trees which are a deep emerald green, such a contrast to the cerulean blues of the sky and water. _

_In what feels like no time we are flying over the city of Vancouver and I am surprised when we keep going. We fly northwest until the city is no longer at our feet. We are now above a vast wilderness, sprinkled with sporadically placed rooftops, no doubt belonging to shore side shops and homes. _

_"That's the Strait of Georgia," Christian points to our left as we approach what looks like a large clearing. Upon closer inspection I see we are about to land at a small airport. There are only half a dozen or so single engine planes sitting in the field which houses a small hanger. My stomach flip flops as we begin our descent to the ground. Sensing my anxiety Christian squeezes my knee softly before returning his hand to the task of letting down Charlie Tango. "You're safe with me baby." He says and I nod, swallowing back the lump in my throat._

_Just the same, as the times before, we land smoothly without incident. An older man with a long white beard greets us when the doors open._

_"Welcome to Robert's Creek Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey." He nods at me and smiles. His skin is wrinkled, tan and looks like soft leather, no doubt weathered by the elements. "Joe called when you took off, said you'd be arriving in about two hours. Looks like you made pretty good time."_

_"We did, thank you Marshall. The weather was good and the winds were calm." Christian shakes the older gentleman's hand firmly._

_"Your car is waiting over there." He nods in the direction of the parking area near the hanger where a two door black car sits. We're too far away for me to see what kind of car it is but knowing my husband, it's an Audi. "Would you like help with your bags sir?" Marshall asks._

_"No thank you, I've got it." Christian reaches in to the helicopter and retrieves our bags. The blades are still spinning slowly. _

_"Well, if that's all then I'll start seeing to your helicopter. She'll be ready for your return trip Mr. Grey."_

_"Thank you Marshall." _

_Christian and I trek across the grass field to where the Audi A5 sits waiting for us. He places our luggage in the trunk and opens my door for me before going to his side. _

_"Ready?" He grins, still enjoying his game of not telling me what my birthday surprise is._

_"I'm not sure what I should be ready for?" _

_"Two days of us." He traces my jawline with one long finger and I feel it connect deep in my belly. _

_"Ready," I whisper breathlessly. _

_"Good," he starts the engine and we pull out of the small airport, headed to wherever Christian wants to take us. _


	65. Chapter 65

***Thank you all for your reviews. I told one reviewer yesterday that I may give a hint to alude to what my next installment in this story may be about. When I finish Fifty Shades Complete Part 2 I will begin part 3 and it will be taking place in the summer of 2013 just after Ted has turned one year old. See if you can figure out what the next story will be about by reading this birthday treat. ;)

Enjoy!

**September 10, 2013**

**Ana's Birthday Part 2**

**_ We drive along a _**_winding road which twists to hug the west Canadian coastline. I find myself griping the door handle several times due to the view off to my side. Just a few more inches over and we could go off the edge either into the forest or in to the water. I keep my face straight though, expressionless, not wanting to show Christian my apprehension. You just rode in a helicopter for heaven's sake Grey, get ahold of yourself! In no time we are pulling up to a cabin which may very well have been written right into a fairytale. _

_ "We are going to stay here?" I gasp, astonished by the majestic beauty stretching out before me. We park in the designated gravel spot to the side of the wooden clapboard cabin. A wood planked walkway leads up to the front door. It is flanked by large posts with heavy ropes strung between them to serve as a rail._

_"We are, happy birthday Mrs. Grey." I turn to see Christian watching me, gauging my reaction. "Happy Mrs. Grey?" He finally asks me in a breathless voice when I don't answer. I have to find my voice because in that moment I can't answer, I am taken away by everything I am seeing. A large porch wraps around the cabin, the front facing a vast wooded wilderness dotted with towering evergreens, the back looks out over an enormous body of water framed by mountains._

_"So happy," I breathe out and giving over to the only way I know how to thank him in this moment I frame his handsome face with my hands and kiss him deeply._

_"The cabin is called Moon Dance on Oyster Bay, come let's see the inside." He finally says when I break the kiss. _

_ Upon approaching the front door I observe the sleek, straight, lines of the frame. Rectangular windows take up much of the wall space giving way to enjoy the spectacular view. Christian opens the full glass door, allowing me to enter first. The perpendicular lines continue on the inside of the cabin as well giving a very neat and orderly appeal. The warm golden tones of wood adorn the floors and ceilings causing a luminous patina to shine throughout. The walls are white though, and I think at night with the soft glow of lights from the inside this cabin must surely look like a nugget of gold nestled in the dark Canadian wilderness. _

_ "This is the kitchen," he says motioning the room we are standing in. I gaze out the window then shift my eyes up to see a massive wooden beam running the length of the ceiling. Beyond the kitchen we walk into the living area. It is sparsely but comfortably furnished, but the focal point of the house is a large fireplace which stands in the middle, between the living area and bedroom. "Living area," he indicates and continues walking past the double sided fireplace until we are standing in the bedroom. To my left, directly in front of the fireplace is a gigantic, pristine, white egg shaped tub. To my right is the biggest bed I think I've ever seen. What could we do in that tub and on that bed? The possibilities are endless, I muse to myself. My inner goddess claps her hands with glee and nods in agreement. "Bedroom and bath," he finally says. "There's a powder room on the other side of the living area."_

_I spin around in a circle slowly, taking it all in. It is all almost too much. How long has he been planning this? Suddenly my mouth goes dry and a lump forms in my throat. My Christian, how can I ever love him enough? Tears prick the corners of my eyes and in a nanosecond he drops our bags on the bed, enveloping me in his arms._

_"Hey," he whispers, running his thumbs over my cheeks to catch my trickling tears. "What is it? Why are you crying?"_

_I shake my head and half laugh, feeling completely silly. "It's nothing. I'm just awed by you and everything you do for me." I tell him honestly._

_He kisses my lips softly. "I am always awed by you my beautiful Ana." He kisses me again._

_"So, are you going to show me what you packed in our bags?" _

_At that question he grins, a deviously wicked smirk then releases me to turn and open our two small suitcases. "Not much."_

_Not much indeed. All I see is a pair of jeans, two t shirts, gray sweat pants, hooded sweat shirt, two bras and two pairs of panties. A smaller cosmetic bag holds what I assume are my toiletries. Christian's suitcase holds much of the same items, a pair of clothes, pajama bottoms, underwear, a light jacket and a toiletry bag. _

_"You didn't pack much." I observe._

_"We don't need much. We are alone out here and I have plans for you which do not include leaving the seclusion of this cabin until we depart for home."_

_Oh my! Christian! My stomach somersaults. "What about food? We'll have to eat."_

_"The kitchen is fully stocked and catered meals are ready to be heated whenever we are hungry."_

_"How did it all get here? We just arrived?"_

_He gives me an all knowing smile, "Sometimes it's good to be me." He shrugs._

_**No cellphone service, it **__can be a wonderful thing. I am surprised Christian chose a location so remote that we cannot be reached. Part of me is worried about being this far out and away from Ted but the other part of me knows that he could not be in better hands. With the outside world quiet and unable to reach us we make the most of our time, together. _

_ A chilled breeze blows around me. I am sitting on the back deck looking out over the still waters of the bay. Lofty shadows from the trees are cast in the clear waters as the sun sets behind the mountains. Drawing our tartan blanket, the very one we bought on our honeymoon, tighter around me I feel warm, snuggled in one of the comfy lounge chairs wearing a t shirt, sweat pants and cozy socks, I continue reading my book. I can hear Christian clinking away in the kitchen as he prepares our dinner. He insisted on not needing any help from me, saying everything is prepared and even he can make this dinner. I laughed and tried to offer my help once more, but he shooed me out of the house. _

_ Just when I am about to go inside and ask one more time if I can be of any help the backdoor opens and he walks out onto the deck holding a tray in his hands. _

_"Dinner is served," he announces setting the tray down on the table in front of me. He opens the lids covering the plates with a flourish and a bow. I give him a polite applause and he grins devilishly at me. "Arugula salad topped with parmesan, saffron risotto with butternut squash, and deep dish apple pie for dessert." _

_My mouth waters, "How very delectable sounding Mr. Grey, but I thought I would be dessert as I was the appetizer before you prepared dinner." I give him a pouty bottom lip. _

_Christian lays a white linen napkin over my lap and hands me my salad. "Believe me Mrs. Grey, I will be having multiple desserts tonight," he emphasizes the word multiple._

_ Surprisingly Christian allows me to clean up from our scrumptious dinner and dessert, I only have to ask if I can clean up and he does not object. I load the dishes into the dishwasher and start it up. Before leaving the kitchen I decide to pour us each a glass of wine. I find something called Roscato Rosso Dolce in the well-stocked wine cooler. I know nothing of wine, but if Christian has it here then I know it must be good. _

_ When I walk back out to where I left him on the deck I am taken aback. The now dark night sky around us is illuminated with what seems like hundreds of tiny glimmering candles. _

_"We had pie for dessert so I thought these would be perfect as birthday candles." Christian says, coming up behind me. He lights one more candle and stands in front of me, holding it in his hand. Softly with his beautiful voice he sings happy birthday to me. Listening to him I am mesmerized by the exquisiteness of his voice and the glow of the candle flame dancing in front of him. It outlines and highlights his chiseled features. His strong jaw, sculpted lips, cheek bones, gray eyes that shimmer from the tiny points of light reflected in them…I love him. When he finishes his song I close my eyes and make a wish…a wish to make our life happy. To fill the still aching hole in both of our hearts left by our loss…Please God, grant us the wish I know we both have for another child. _

_ I open my eyes and he is watching me, his look full of adoration. _

_"What did you wish for?" He asks._

_"For our dream to come true." _

_His eyes widen and I know he understands. Setting the darkened candle on the table beside us, he takes the two wine glasses and allows them to join the abandoned birthday candle. He cups my face with his hands and kisses me, letting his hands trail down my neck, my arms, and my sides. They come to rest on my waist, his thumbs rub softly over my flat stomach. "Soon baby," he whispers and I swear I hear him choking back unshed tears. "I promise."_

_ I nuzzle my nose against his cheek, allowing myself to absorb his words of assurance. A night bird sings in the distance, a sweet song and the few remaining late summer crickets sing somewhere around us. With the warmth of my husband radiating against me I give my entire self over to him. His fingers gather the bottom hem of my t shirt and my eyes fly open._

_"Christian, we're outside…"_

_"And there is no one else for miles."_

_It is now that I notice the soft palate he has constructed on the deck floor. Layers of blankets and pillows are piled together, a makeshift bed of sorts. _

_"I want to make love to you here…outside…" He kisses my lips. "Under the stars." He kisses my chin. "Over and over again." His mouth trails down leaving warm wet kisses in its wake, down my neck. _

_I raise my arms and allow him to lift the shirt over my head. Next he hooks his fingers in the band of my sweat pants and glides them down my legs. I step out and he casts them aside. Standing before him in my lacy blue bra and panties I feel gorgeous. The moon acts as my spotlight, illuminating my skin with a pale glow. _

_"Breathtaking," he breathes the word and attacks my mouth with his. Keeping our mouths firmly attached to each other he leads me down to the palate where I lie among the softness of the multitude of blankets and pillows. I can't believe he did all of this while I was cleaning up the kitchen. He must have had it all hidden somewhere. Another one of Christian Grey's many tricks. _

_ Christian dips a finger inside the cup of my bra and frees one breast, then the other. Wasting no time he kneads my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers until they are hardened peaks. I feel the tingling sensation all the way down to my sex. Ah! His hot mouth encases one and he sucks hard, flicking it with his tongue. _

_"Make me come Christian…"I moan, needing to find my release. His torture is sweet and consuming. _

_He releases my nipple and begins trailing his tongue down my body, stopping to swirl around my navel. Both of his hands make quick work at the task of removing my panties. His tongue continues down to taste me, there, but I am greedy. I want him now. We have all night for that. _

_"Christian, your body, please. I want to feel you inside of me."_

_Looking up from between my thighs he keeps his eyes locked on mine and places one reverent kiss against my sensitive skin. "Then you shall have me, wife."_

_ Lifting his own t shirt above his head he removes it, followed by his pants and boxer briefs. He is gloriously naked, kneeling above me. The dark shadows cast by the stars, moon and dozens of flickering lights emphasize the undulations of his body, the deeply carved muscles in his abdomen and chest. I reach up and run my fingers over his skin, tracing the deep V cut below his abs and then his oh-so-happy-trail leading down to his impressive erection. Perfection. I feel a shiver break out over his body followed._

_"Are you cold?" I ask._

_"No." He shakes his head. "You?"_

_"A little." I confess as a chilly breeze floats around us. _

_"Let me warm you ." He covers me, lowering himself so that he is at my entrance. He cradles me with his body, supporting his weight on his elbows and wraps his fingers in my long tresses. _

_Instinctively I tilt my pelvis up to join him and ever so slowly he slides inside of me. "Christian…" his name is a prayer on my lips. A song I will sing forever and a day. _

_ Nestled deep inside he begins to push in and out of me. Long, controlled, strokes…methodical in motion…our gazes never leave each other. It is as if we are enchanted by some unbreakable spell. I tangle my fingers at the nape of his neck and pull his mouth down to meet mine. How could I ever ask for a more perfect birthday than this? Never hurried or rushed Christian brings me to my climax. I tilt my head back and giving over to a sense of abandon I scream out his name. It echoes off the mountains and to the heavens above. _

_"Let me here you baby," he groans and I cry out again and again. My body tightening around him, when I think I can come no more he buries himself to the hilt and lets go. His own orgasm causes his body to rack with shudders. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his back, holding him to me closely. _

_"I love you Christian. I love you." I whisper over and over as his warmth spreads through me and we are one, again. Our wine I poured in the kitchen is forgotten as Christian makes love to me repetitively, never allowing me to doubt the absolute intensity of our love for each other. _


	66. Chapter 66

**Back to the regular story! I am so glad you all enjoyed Ana's birthday celebration. As many of you guessed the hint I gave as to what the third story will be about was that Ana had a miscarriage between her pregnancy with Ted and her pregnancy with Phoebe. This is not implied in the original books, but is me taking some creative liberities. I'm still in the early planning stages of outlining this story in my mind and have yet to decide at which point the story will begin, before the miscarriage or during and after. I think it will be interesting to explore Christian's feelings about Ana losing a baby considering how he has felt in the past about his less than happy initial feelings when he found out she was pregnant with Ted. **

**Meanwhile...enjoy this chapter!**

About an half an hour or so later the rest of the family begins to emerge from the basement. Elliot, Ethan and Carrick come first, ribbing one another about who won the pool game. Apparently there were several heated games played over the course of the afternoon, none as intense as the last one though, or so it seems. They all greet Ray and Lynn before going into the kitchen to see if they can find something to eat. Soon they are sent back out by Gail. We all laugh when we hear her telling them to get out and that dinner will be ready soon. They retreat to the family room, flipping on the TV I'm sure.

Next Mia, Grace, Kate enter the room, followed by Mom and Bob. I am grateful for the fact that Mia, Grace and Kate take leave as soon as they have said their greetings to Ray and Lynn. With her arm woven securely with Bob's, Mom approaches us. I catch the subtle shift of her eyes when she sees Teddy happily jabbering in Ray's arms. My heart flips, I don't want my mother to be hurt…I love her.

"Carla, Bob," Ray greets them standing and offering his hand to Bob for a shake. Bob smiles and takes his offered hand giving it a firm, yet friendly, shake. Bob and Ray have always gotten along well. "I want you both to meet Lynn." He hands Ted off to me before lending his hand down to Lynn. She takes it and stands beside my daddy. "Lynn, this is Ana's mother Carla and her husband Bob."

All credit to Lynn she smiles. Her smile could not be mistaken to have an ounce of insincerity in it. It is a genuine expression, full of natural mirth and happiness. "It's so nice to meet you Carla, Bob." She offers her hand to them, first to my mom then to Bob. Inwardly I breathe a huge sigh of relief when my mom shake's Lynn's hand, reflecting Lynn's smile on her very own face.

"It's very nice to meet you too Lynn. Did you all have a nice drive?" She's actually making small talk and making an effort at casual, kind conversation! I can barely believe it and in that moment I love her and I am so proud of her. I know this situation cannot be easy for Mom, Lynn or Ray, but with everyone having a thoughtful and considerate demeanor it is going much better than I ever expected it would.

"Breakfast for dinner is served in the dining room," Gail announces to everyone in the great room.

We hear an exclamation of, "Wahoo!" erupt from a voice, which is unmistakably Elliot's, from the family room. It is followed by an exasperated, "Really?" from Kate and I snicker to myself. Those two together are hilarious. Yes, Elliot and Kate…who would have thought? Christian's often expressed sentiment on the idea of his brother and Kate being together pops into my head.

"Well, I don't know about you all but I am ready to eat." Bob says and we all agree. Even Teddy squeals, clapping his hands together.

"I think he's definitely ready to eat Mommy." Christian says, pulling me close to his side as everyone else leaves the room, filing in the direction of the dining room in one great big mass of family. We are a few steps behind them. He kisses my hair. "It went well didn't it?"

"Better than I ever imagined." I confess looking up at him. "Sometimes my mother really surprises me."

He chuckles, "Well, let's just be glad that this time it was a good surprise."

With Gail's help breakfast for dinner is served to a dining room full of hungry people. The table is a sight filled with different types of sausages, bacon, yogurt, granola, fresh fruits, and scrambled eggs with roasted asparagus, French toast pudding, maple oatmeal scones, banana muffins, cheddar biscuits and roasted potatoes. By the time everyone is finished eating every face wears a satisfied smile. Even Ted has reached his full point, shaking his head he adamantly he refuses another bite of banana muffin.

"Even Teddy is stuffed," Elliot says laughing while rubbing his overfull belly.

"It was a delicious meal, Ana." Grace compliments while taking a sip of her coffee.

"Most of the credit goes to Mrs. Taylor. All I did was help her with planning the menu."

"Don't let her fool you Mom," Christian grasps my hand in his and brings it to his mouth for a kiss. "Ana made the scones, muffins and pudding." Pride glows in his eyes as he speaks.

"I had no idea you were such a chef." Mom remarks from the other end of the table. Before I can open my mouth to answer her Ray does it for me.

"Annie has always been a wonderful cook. If it wasn't for her I would have lived on take out for years."

"And you did after I left." I rib him gently and we both laugh.

"Then I was able to benefit from her culinary skills Ray. That is until Christian came along and snagged her up." Kate tips her champagne flute in my direction for downing the remaining drops of her mimosa.

Shortly after dinner the Grey's and Ethan bid their farewells, promising to be back in the morning to help with Thanksgiving dinner. At the moment I cannot even entertain the idea of eating more food. I know that will change tomorrow though when the aroma of a cooking turkey permeates through the house.

After waving goodbye to them as they drive away Christian closes the door and turns to face me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Good day?" He asks grinning.

"Wonderful day," I stand on my tip toes and place a kiss on his lips.

"Baby, I've got some work to do in my study. I won't be long." I put my bottom lip out and give him a pout which make his smile even wider. "You're so cute when you give me your little pouty face, but I must check on a few things. It won't be long, I promise."

"Okay, if you must."

"I must." With another kiss he releases me and walks down the hall in the direction of his study. I wonder if he has received any updates on Susannah's condition. It's not a thought I want to contemplate on for long, but it is an important one.

I go in search of my parents and find them in the family room with their significant others and my baby boy. They are all in good humor, enjoying the antics of Ted as he crawls around the room. He is becoming surer of himself and his abilities with each attempt he makes at crawling.

"You've got a little roadrunner on your hands, Annie." Ray says as I sit down on his left side. Lynn is sitting to his right.

We watch Mom enticing Teddy to come to her by shaking his favorite cylinder shaped wooden rattle. He loves the sound of the bell inside jingling.

"He is an adorable baby, Ana." Lynn adds in and I thank her.

"So, tell me how you two met?" I ask the question I have been dying to ask since Ray first told me about Lynn.

"Well," Ray leans forward a bit, placing his coffee cup on the coffee table. "Lynn came in to my shop and ordered a wooden rocking horse for her grandson."

"I had been driving past his little woodworking shop for weeks and one day saw the most charming rocking horse in the window, I had to stop." I turn my head to Lynn as she speaks. "So I bought it and of course my little grandson loved it, so I just had to go back and buy something else for him..."

"She came back ten times and bought ten something else's for him." Ray laughs, finishing Lynn's story. "Finally I asked her out to keep her from going broke."

I look between them and see the glimmer of love in both of their eyes as they gaze at one another. This is obviously a story they have shared before and love telling. Mom has even stopped shaking Ted's rattle for him and is listening to the story. I swear I see the hint of a smile on her face.

"And the rest is history," Lynn finishes. "A rocking horse and ten other toys later, here we are."

"How old is your grandson?" I ask her, genuinely interested.

"He's four and the light of my life. I'm a proud grandma just like Ray here is a proud grandpa."

"And look at this fine young sprout," Ray lifts Ted who has crawled over to him and holds him above his head before bringing him down for a kiss on his baby cheek. Teddy grins then yawns. "A grandpa has never been prouder of his grandson, or his daughter."

"Daddy," I whisper and leaning over I plant a kiss on his scruffy cheek.

Ted reaches for me grunting, "mmmmmmmm…" and I take him from Ray.

"I think he's getting tired Ana, dear." Mom says from her spot on the floor. She stands, "In fact I'm rather tired myself. I think I'll go to bed." Bob puts down the paper he has been reading and joins her. Bob, he's a good man but not much for conversation, I think to myself.

Teddy pulls at my shirt and I know what he wants. "You go ahead and take care of him Annie. Lynn and I have had a long day. I'm ready to turn in myself."

"Are you sure Daddy?"

"I'm sure, honey."

"Well, goodnight then."

Ray and Lynn take their leave and I watch as my mom tells Bob to go ahead of her and that she'll be right up. Just what is she up to? Things have been going so well, or so I thought. When everyone is upstairs and out of ear shot she comes to sit beside me on the sofa.

"Lynn seems nice. She and Ray look so happy together." I tell her, trying to make small talk. I know she's got an agenda and I'm not sure if I want to hear what it is.

"Very much so, I'm happy for him. Ray deserves to have someone in his life." I search her words or tone of voice for any hint of artificiality but come up empty handed. She actually sounds serious. Well, knock me over with a feather. "I'm glad they were able to come for Thanksgiving, it was a wonderful day and I'm sure tomorrow will be wonderful as well."

_And?_ My subconscious prompts, she knows Carla oh so well.

"I'm just hoping you and Christian will keep your relationship limited to your bedroom."

_Bingo! And we have a winner! _I knew this was coming, I just didn't know when.

"Mom, listen. I'm sorry if last night was uncomfortable for you; believe me when I say it was no picnic for me either. I was so embarrassed, but I thought you and Bob were already in bed. I never would have…"

"Anastasia," she cuts me off. "When you have guests in your home you must always maintain a certain level of decorum and making out on the couch with your husband is not a suitable way to behave."

I look down, locking my eyes on Ted's copper curls. I feel like a child being chastised for necking on the couch with my boyfriend at the age of fifteen. This is absolutely ludicrous.

"Mom, when I say this I mean no disrespect because I love you so much and you are my mother, but this is my house. Things are going so well, please do not ruin it. I promise to be respectful of you and my other guests. Christian and I were just caught up in the moment." _ Stop explaining yourself!_ My subconscious chides me and I know she's right. Teddy squeals out of frustration, hungry and wanting to nurse. "I need to feed him." I stand to leave the room. A frisson of pride at my assertive dismissal of my mother's nagging topic of discussion runs through me. Inwardly I cheer myself on. _Go Ana! _

"Look, Ana…" She stands and places a hand on my arm. "Sweetie, I'm sorry if I upset you or came across as a harsh scolding mother."

I watch her intently, regarding her words.

"I just didn't want Ray to catch you in a delicate situation. It's one thing for a mother to witness a moment like that between her daughter and son-in-law, but it's a whole other thing for a father to witness it."

I nod, knowing she's right.

"Okay?" She searches my eyes and finally I give her a small reassuring smile. "Good. I love you Ana."

"I love you too Mom." She's my mother but she's still so much a child in many ways. Once again I remember why I felt like I was raising her sometimes when I was a child myself.


	67. Chapter 67

**Enjoy!**

Mom leaves the room before I do and I stand in the center of the family room, the heart of my home, listening to her footfalls growing further away. The door to her guest room closes with a distant click and I am left only with the rhythmic sound of the clock over the mantle. Do mothers and their children ever stop not seeing eye to eye? At the age of twenty-three, I feel as if the age-old mêlées between my mom and I will never fully extinguish. Is it like this for all mothers and daughters? I must remember to ask Grace. Surely, she and Mia do not have continuous snags in their relationship.

Breathing in a deep breath, I let the tension out of my shoulders and look down to the hungry baby boy in my arms. His sweet eyes are pleading as he fists the fabric of my shirt.

"Mommy will feed you now my sweet boy." I reassure him and leave to go upstairs.

Crossing through the great room, I am near the bottom step when the booming sound of Christian's voice echoes down the hall. I jump, startled by the intensity of his tone and it causes Ted to jerk in alarm as well.

"You didn't think this was important enough to share with me?" He almost shouts. I don't know who he is at the brunt of his anger. Is it Taylor? I hope not, he could be on the phone. I've never heard him be this boorish with Taylor. I rub Teddy's back soothingly and stand stark still to try to hear anything else I can of this one-sided conversation. I fail though, the remainder of the conversation is inaudible to me. In a moment I hear the door opening and rush upstairs so that I am not caught eavesdropping.

"Anastasia?" Christian calls out from below. Caught. I cringe for a second then stop to turn around. "Baby, is that you?" He comes around the corner and peers up the staircase in the dimly lit house. His tone is mild mannered, thank heavens. I know his frustration was not being directed at me, but I do not wish to experience the aftermath.

"It's me." My voice is casual and meek.

He stalks up the stairs at a quick pace, coming to join me on the middle step. Looking down at me, he reaches a hand to touch my cheek. "You're trembling."

"I was cold. I'm taking Ted to bed he needs to nurse."

His gaze asses me and I know he doesn't believe my white lie for one instance. "How much did you hear?"

"Hear?"

"The conversation I was having with Welch. How much did you hear?"

Welch, relief floods through me. I am so grateful it wasn't Taylor. "Not much," I confess. "Something about you not being given important information."

He continues to search my eyes and I don't know what he's searching for. An answer of sorts, a reaction from me, I just don't know. "The man my father's lawyer friend knows who was acquainted with Susannah and possibly Leila, Joel Wright, he is at Susannah's bedside."

"Is she coherent?"

"No. It is evident though that he is something to her."

"I don't get it Christian, why does this matter? Why did it warrant you yelling at Welch like you did?"

He runs his hand through his hair, an obvious sign of exasperation. "He could know Anastasia. She could have told him."

"Christian, there are many people out there who could know about your past lifestyle. You took that risk when you decided to partake in it. NDA's are all good and well, but a person can still talk and violate it at their own freewill. It is not right morally or legally. That still does not mean that it cannot be done though."

There it is in a nutshell. This is something that is beyond Christian's control and always will be. He has to learn to live with the ramifications of the choices he made all those years before meeting me. I am learning to live with them. My husband is not perfect, no one is. I can handle that fact, I wish he could handle it as well. Regret is the only thing I can think he is feeling. Perhaps that is truly what he is having such a difficult time coming to grips with.

"Ana…I…if I had met you first."

"You think none of the others would have happened, but you don't know that for sure Christian."

"I do, Ana. I do." He sounds so certain and I know in this moment he is.

I shake my head adamantly though and touch his arm gently. "No, you don't." I whisper. "We didn't come together until we were meant to. Even if you had met me earlier in your life, we wouldn't have been the same people we were when we met the first time. People grow and change with time. We met when we were supposed to. Don't blame yourself for your past Christian. I love you."

He snickers, "And all of my fifty shades?"

My heart leaps, it's been so long since we've used that term. "All of them and then some." I smile up at him and move my hand to stroke the soft stubble growing on his cheek. "Accept your past, let it go and pay no mind to what others think of it. I know who you are, and I love who you are."

"I love who you are too." He kisses my lips tenderly and moves his hand to stroke Teddy's hair. "Let's put our son to bed."

"He wants to eat first Daddy."

"Then he may most definitely eat first." Teddy reaches for Christian and happily goes into his father's arms. Another skirmish encountered and soothed for now.

**Christian brings my bandaged** finger up to his lips and puckers them against it. We are lying on our bed facing one another with Ted snuggled amid us as he nurses. His eyes shift, following the movements between Christian and I. He is so very attentive and observant, never missing even one miniscule detail in his environment.

"How is your finger?"

"Better." I answer as he releases his hold on my hand. I place it back where it was rest on Ted's tummy. It moves up and down with his belly as he breathes.

"No pain?"

"Not much, it only throbs a little. I'll be fine."

He moves his hand, which is not cradling over my head to rest lightly on top of mine. His other hand brushes through my hair soothingly.

"How was your evening with your family?"

I smile, "It was good. Ray and Lynn shared the story of how they met."

He purses his lips in contemplation. "How did Carla do with that conversation?"

"Well, the entire evening went well between them. I was surprised at how smooth it actually was." I tell him, running over the overall pleasantness, which surrounded me and my family after dinner.

In my mind, I mull over whether to share the ending of the evening, my conversation with my mom about our couch make out session, with Christian. Using my better judgment, I decide to leave that particular part of my story out. No use in upsetting Christian and causing possible bad feelings between he and my mother over the Thanksgiving holiday. Deep down I know he would not approve of or be happy with me keeping something from him and I understand that. I even feel like a bit of a hypocrite knowing I would not want him to retain from sharing information from me. I'm doing it to keep the peace though, I must keep telling myself that.

With his eyes closed in tranquil sleep Ted slackens his hold on my nipple, no longer suckling. I let my fingers touch his button nose then drift over his soft chubby cheeks. He breathes deeply, letting out a placid sigh.

"Do you want me to put him in bed Mommy?"

"Yes Daddy, thank you." Christian kisses Ted's cheek before lifting him in his arms.

Deciding on a hot shower before bedtime, I slip out of our bed and strip my clothes from my body, discarding them in to the laundry on the way to the bathroom. I turn the water on and as soon as it is warm step in. Steam quickly fills the shower before billowing out to envelope the bathroom. This feels so good. Careful not to use my bandaged finger I lift my shampoo bottle and open it to squirt some in my hand.

"Let me," Christian's gruff voice comes from behind me. I turn and see him with no shirt on. He is stepping out of his pants and boxer briefs all at once until he is gloriously naked. Handing him the bottle I willingly comply with is request.

Long fingers work the jasmine scented shampoo through my long tresses. I groan and let my head fall back, my shoulders sagging, as he massages my scalp. White suds of luscious bubbles cascade down my front. Gliding down my breasts and belly. I love the feel of him washing my hair. Placing one hand on my hip he guides me to stand under the water and I close my eyes. The hot water rinses away the soap and relaxes me. I feel like a ball of putty in my husband's hands. Willing to let him mold me in any shape or fashion he likes.

He places both hands on either of my hips and draws me closer to him. So close that we are touching, skin on skin, and I can feel his erection pressing into my behind.

"I thought you wanted to wash my hair?" I ask leaning my head back to rest on his chest, and out of the waterfall streaming down on me.

"I did and I did. That task is finished. It's time for a new one." Playful Christian, I adore playful Christian. He nibbles my earlobe and I moan, feeling the pinch connect with my groin. His lips travel down my neck and he moves his hands up to caress my breasts. Using his thumbs and forefingers, he manipulates my nipples until they are hardened peaks. Feeling myself grow aroused for him I whimper.

"What is the new task?" I try to bring my mind from the hazy blur that is threatening to engulf it, much like the billowing clouds of steam consuming the bathroom.

"As if you didn't know Mrs. Grey." He gives my nipples one last hard pinch and I gasp. Jerking my hips back in a commanding fashion, he presses firmly against my bottom. "Spread your legs." All too happily, I comply and in a second, I feel him enter me. "So tight…" He groans and stills.

I absorb the sensation of his tip stretching me open. He leans forward placing his front on my back, he is still inside of me, I am shielding by his body from the falling water. He places feather light kisses across my shoulder blades. "You're so swollen baby…How long have you wanted this Anastasia?"

Since I thought about what we were doing on the couch last night and what we did afterwards. My mother bringing up the topic is what brought it to my mind, but I can't tell him that. I feel him bite my neck softly and I cry out. Partly from that, but mostly from the fact that my body is craving his right now. The entirety of his, the sample he is currently giving me will not suffice for long.

"How long?" He asks again.

"All day," I whisper. It is not far from the truth. Just watching him turns me on. The way he walks, his gorgeous body, how he loves me, seeing him care for our child…all of those things, and more, make me want Christian.

"Do you wish to wait any longer?"

He's teasing me and I can't take it. My body aches too much. "No. Please. Now Christian."

At an achingly slow pace, he slides into me. Stretching me, filling me with his each blessed inch of himself. The fleeting thought of how many inches flies through my brain, but is lost before I can fully grasp it. I almost giggle at my silly girlish contemplation. The sensation of our connection takes over my body though and I need him. I push back against him until he is buried inside of me to the hilt. Fuck! I feel it deep in the core of my belly.

"Slow or fast?" His voice is so controlled.

"Slow…"

He draws out again and pauses before gliding back inside. In a graceful dance of intimacy I stand in our shower, my legs spread and my palms planted firmly against the tile wall while my husband loves me with his body. Our groans and whimpers of ecstasy mingle and swell around us, echoing in a swirl of haze.


	68. Chapter 68

**"Christian," I gasp his** name as I intake a gulp of air. My legs are splayed open, one knee resting against the bed on either side of his waist. I am stilled above him, his hands holding my waist to suspend me. He pushes in to my sex, raising his hips up and down, stroking me in the perfect spot. My legs begin to tremble and if it was not for my hands gripping his pillow or him supporting me I know, I would collapse in one big melted heap. My mouth is hanging open in the shape of a perfect _o. _

"Breathe, Anastasia." He coaxes me.

His igneous gray gaze burns into my soul and I find my breath, taking in another gulp of air. Our earlier shower sex was only a tempting morsel of an appetizer compared to the stirring sensations coursing through me now. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remind myself to be sensible concerning the volume of my voice. I close my eyes and tilt my face towards the ceiling in an attempt to maintain some semblance of self-control.

"Look at me. I want to see your eyes when you come. I love to watch you come." On cue, I open my eyes and my body clenches around his intimately. "That's it baby…come for me." He says in response to feeling me squeeze him.

My left hand flies to my mouth and I bite down hard on my knuckles in an attempt to silence the screams threatening to erupt. I am still and quivering at the same time while he continues his merciless onslaught, plunging deep, stroking me, and bringing on wave after wave of orgasmic bliss. I can feel the pleasure radiating from my core, up my spine and even down to the tips of my toes.

"I can't stop. Oh, Christian…" I plead with him in breathless whispers. My body feels spent, yet he continues. Wringing every ounce of orgasm out of me. I feel like a wet cloth, ragged and limp.

"Don't stop. Come with me." He growls and finally comes himself. His eyes are locked on mine the entire time and I bite down on my hand again, I'm sure leaving teeth marks in my skin.

I collapse on top of Christian's chest panting. My hair is glued to my face, my entire body wet with sweat. Resting my cheek against his skin, I listen to his ragged breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest slowly become less erratic. Still joined as one we lie in our bed, wrapped in each other's arms until we are able to move. Christian gently pulls out of me and nudges me to lie on my side. He kisses my lips tenderly, his fingers tracing my cheeks.

"I love you..only you…forever." He whispers against my mouth before bringing it down to my breasts where his hands are now gently kneading me. Through clouded vision, still misted by my post coital bliss I watch him nestle beside me and take one of my nipples in his mouth. A contented sigh escapes my lips and I let my fingers comb through his hair, holding him, cherishing him, as he does the same to me.

**Muted early morning light** flourishes behind the curtains sheer curtains of our bedroom window. A cold misty morning is dawning over the sound, Thanksgiving morning. I stretch my muscles feeling languid after a night of unrestrained passionate lovemaking and look over to see Christian still sleeping peacefully. We are not alone though. Ted is curled up in his father's arms, his baby eyes still closed. I take a moment to watch them both. Their lips parted slightly to accommodate their even breaths. Both of their faces etched with the same sweet innocence. Unable to resist I reach for my phone on my nightstand and snap a picture of them.

Moving slowly I climb out of bed and take my robe from the chair where it is lying. I slip it on and tiptoe out of the room. I should have just enough time to put the two turkeys in the oven before Ted wakes for his morning feeding.

Walking in to the kitchen I find Gail already busily working. She's chopping vegetables and has the turkey's along with a standing rib roast in their pans and ready to be put in the oven.

"Good morning Mrs. Grey," she greets me with a smile. "Did you sleep well?"

I try my hardest not to blush as a flash of scenes from last night's erotic forays play unbidden in my mind. "Yes, thank you. Do you need any help?" I ask, trying to cover up my moment of daydreaming.

"I've got it ma'am." She puts the celery she has been dicing in the bowl of stuffing on the counter.

"I don't mind helping."

"Nonsense, you go enjoy your family. Leave this to me."

I smile at her and concede. "Okay. Thank you Gail, for everything." I think I surprise her by giving her a kiss on her cheek. "And I do mean everything Gail."

"You're very welcome, Ana. Taking care of you, Mr. Grey and your sweet baby is my pleasure." Her eyes shine with love and sincerity. I have to blink back tears at her words.

"I'll be upstairs feeding Ted if you need me." I give her shoulder a squeeze; I do love this woman, and then turn to leave.

"Breakfast will be served at eight." She calls after me and I thank her again before going back upstairs.

As I turn the knob to our bedroom, I hear a door click open further down the hall. Looking up I see my mom leaving her room.

"Good morning, Ana," she greets me, smiling as she approaches. She is already dressed for the day in brown corduroy pants and robin's egg blue oversized sweater. Her hair is pulled up in to a neat but stylish bun and her makeup, of course, is immaculate. Only Carla Adams could be this put together at such an early hour of the morning and make it appear flawless, as if she had woken up this way.

"Good morning, Mom."

"Bob is just finishing up with dressing. Is everyone else not up yet?" Her eyes flit up and down, taking in my state of dress. Alternatively, should I say, nightdress.

Ted's early morning cry signaling hunger sounds from the other side of the door, turning my attention briefly from my mother to the fact that I need to feed Ted. "No, no one else is up yet. Except for Mrs. Taylor, she is in the kitchen preparing for today's dinner. She said breakfast would be ready in an hour." I make to open the knob.

"Teddy is not in his nursery?" She asks, indicating with a nod toward my bedroom door.

"No," I answer, pausing. "He woke during the night and Christian brought him to bed with us. I really do need to go feed him now."

I watch for her reaction and although she appears to want to say something, she chooses not to. Instead, she takes a different avenue. "I would love to feed him a bottle for you dear. You can have your shower and dress while I feed him."

Just then, the door opens and Christian appears with Teddy in his arms. He is still in his pajama pants but has put a white t shirt on. Teddy reaches out for me.

"Good morning, Mommy." He leans forward and kisses my lips. "Good morning Carla," he says after the kiss and flashes her a brilliant smile. Inwardly I muse to myself that he would not be smiling if he had heard my mother and I's conversation last night or the beginning of our conversation just now.

"Good morning Daddy," I echo back to him and my mother says her good morning greeting as well.

I take Ted in my arms. "Would you like for me to give him his bottle Ana?" Mom says, continuing with our previous conversation.

"I don't have any milk bottled for him."

"Well I can mix him a bottle dear, I did do that for you." She smiles and I smile back.

I glance up at Christian who is watching the scene before him with careful eyes. "I'm still nursing him exclusively Mom. I pump and we use bottles when necessary."

"He's not had formula?"

"Only a few times."

With his arms crossed across his chest Christian finally speaks. "Ana and I feel very strongly about how we have chosen to feed Ted."

Don't go there Mom, I beg her silently with my eyes. This is not territory to tread on where Christian is concerned. Thankfully, she seems to get my message. "I'm terribly sorry dear, I didn't realize." She directs her sentiment at me and I know she means it. She was truly unaware.

"It's okay Mom really. Teddy can sit beside you at breakfast and you can feed him then. He loves to eat his cereal and bananas after nursing."

Her smile broadens, "I can definitely do that. Would you like for Grammy to feed you your cereal?" She asks Ted, tickling his tummy. He grins and giggles at her. Situation diffused, crisis averted. "I'll be down stairs helping Mrs. Taylor. I will see you three soon." She says and takes her leave of us.

Christian stands aside, allowing Ted and I to enter the bedroom first before closing the door and following in behind us. I sit on the bed and open my robe then slip the top of my nightdress down, exposing one of my breasts. Teddy, sitting on my lap, reaches both of his small hands out to grasp and knead my skin gently. With his eager mouth open he latches on and begins suckling.

"What was going on out there?" Christian prods coming to sit on the bed with me.

"Mom was just asking if she could feed Ted a bottle."

"I heard that part, I mean before."

I gaze down at my nursing baby and run my fingers over his soft hair. "I think my Mom was put off by the fact that Ted was sleeping in our room."

"Why would you think that?"

"She just seemed surprised to learn Ted was in our room and not in his nursery."

"What business is that of hers?" He scoffs irritably and I agree with him. I can't say it didn't rub me the wrong way when she inquired.

"When I was little she was very steadfast in her principle that I should sleep in my own room. I knew that from an early age and never broke that rule. She wasn't mean to me about it, I never felt like I was being scolded for anything it was just her style of parenting." I look up at Christian and his eyes are brimming with warmth. "She would lie with me at night in my own bed but never in hers. What about your parents, did they allow you, Elliot and Mia in their room?"

"Yes, Mom read to us there most nights. I was careful not to be too close to them. I remember sitting at the foot of the bed, watching and listening. Sometimes the entire family would eat popcorn while watching a movie in my parent's huge bed. I wanted so much to climb up and join them, but I couldn't. Something inside of me held me back." A familiar ache fills my heart and I reach up to touch his dear sweet face. He leans in to my palm and kisses it. He was so surrounded by love and just didn't know how to accept it. "I want to give Teddy everything that was given to me. Everything I was too scared to accept."

"We will Christian. We are." I smile at him and this time he kisses my lips. Teddy makes one of his grunting noises and we both break the kiss, laughing at his animated sounds.

"I'll go and have my shower Mrs. Grey so I can take him once he is finished eating."

"Thank you Mr. Grey." I kiss him once more then he stands and goes in to the bathroom.

**The breakfast dishes are **cleared just as the doorbell chimes signaling the beginning of the holiday hustle and bustle. Kate and Elliot arrive first with a large basket in tow.

"Kate made these last night for us guys to munch on while we watch the football game." Elliot says handing me the basket. "I'm not sure what they are or if they're even edible." He whispers to me conspiratorially, just loud enough for Kate to hear. She smacks him on his shoulder and he feigns injury. Grabbing his shoulder and exclaiming aloud that Kate just hit him.

"Shut up Elliot. They are so edible and besides, it's Ana who is injured, not you. How is your finger?" Kate asks reaching for my hand donning the bandage. "Jeez Ana, what else did you do to your hand after we left?" She turns my hand over examining it and it is at that moment when realization hits me and I freeze. "They look like teeth marks," she muses. _ Shut up Kate! _I scream at her in my head. They are teeth marks, my teeth marks from me trying not to scream at the top of my voice in bed last night.

She looks up at me when I don't answer her right away and I watch as she grasps the concept, understanding washing over her face.

"Teeth marks?" Elliot pipes up and takes my hand next. "Did my little nephew use you as a teething ring last night?"

I blush a deep scarlet and try to pull my hand away. "It's nothing, my finger is fine. Thank you both for asking."

Then it happens, Elliot breaks out in to a guffaw of laughter.

"Elliot!" Kate smacks him again but he cannot stop laughing. His face is turning as red as mine. "You're making a scene and making Ana terribly uncomfortable." She chastises. She doesn't fool me though, I see a sly grin creeping across her face as well. Which causes me to attempt to stifle a smile.

"Okay, okay. I'm good. I'll stop. I don't even want to think about…ewwww…" Another smack from Kate. "No, no. Really I'm good." He takes my hand and kisses it. "I hope your hand feels better soon, Ana." He winks and I want the ground to swallow me up.

"He is so infantile sometimes," Kate admonishes as we watch Elliot head in the direction of the family room. "So, it was that good, huh?" She elbows me and winks.

"Oh yeah," I giggle and we both go to the kitchen to drop off the basket of food.


End file.
